Title: Someone To Live For
Characters/Pairings: canon couples
Genre: Drama/Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Warnings: AU
Rating: T
Chapters: 4/around 40.
Status: WIP
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones nor the characters. Just playing with them.
Summary: Brennan's trip to Maluku is cut off suddenly after she gets the devastating news of Booth's demise in Afghanistan. Knowing she's lost him forever she decides to give the world one last part of him – his child. But life never goes as you plan and tragedy strikes once more in the most unsuspected place, changing not only Brennan's life but all those around her too. AU. Post season 5 finale. There is BB.
AN Once again huge thank you for all the reviews and follows, it really motivates to write more. Here is the last one of the pure angst part.
Enjoy!
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Chapter Four - To Fill the Gap
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It didn't take long for Cam to gather Michelle and arrive at the Hodgins Manor. She has been there already a few times in the past, but it was the first visit for Michelle. The teenager was awe struck by the enormous house of one of her foster Mom's employees, but recovered rather quickly. After getting permission from Cam and Hodgins, Michelle went on exploring the place, accompanied by a flushed maid called Mary.
Meanwhile Hodgins showed Cam to her and Michelle's joined-by-bathroom guestrooms, then led her to the lounge room for some afternoon drinks. Angela and Brennan were already sitting there, both quiet and lost in their own thoughts. Cam sat down on one of the sofas and thanked Edgar who brought her the tea and some snacks.
But when the Butler left, the room once again got cloaked in silence. And Cam hated it.
"What did Rebecca want to talk about with you?" she asked Brennan, unable to bear the oppressive stillness anymore.
Everyone turned toward her. Jack and Angela stared with obvious confusion but Brennan just shrugged.
"She wanted to set up a meeting." Brennan replied tiredly. "She said it was important and looked relieved when I agreed to meet her."
"Hm. Curious." Cam replied taking a sip from her cup.
"Why would she do that?" Angela asked looking from Cam to Brennan. "Would it have to do something with the f-funeral?"
Brennan stiffened. "There won't be one." She said flatly.
"Why?" Angela asked surprised.
"The Army doesn't have any remains to send back right now." Brennan said, and Cam saw her fists tightening on her lap. "From what they have told me, there is not much left of the unit he was a part of. Some kind of explosion I think. And there is still an investigation going on. It might take weeks before it's concluded." She let out a frustrated breath. "And anyway everything is classified." She scoffed.
Jack scowled openly hearing this as Cam sighed, resigned.
"Oh. But he should have one." Angela protested looking around the room. "Right? I'm sure the Army would hold at least a memorial service for him even if there is n-nothing to bury."
"What's the point?" Brennan got up suddenly, startling them. "He's still gone!" And with that, she left the room quickly.
"Tempe?" Max asked, as she rushed past him in the doorway, but she ignored her father, locking herself in her bedroom. Max sighed and walked to the lounge room, taking Brennan's place.
"I'm worried about her." Hodgins said, looking in the direction of the guestrooms.
Max nodded. "She's not really herself."
"None of us are." Angela said dejectedly.
"It's hard to blame any of us though. It's been what, only five days?" Jack said, looking back at them.
"Yeah… I… got the call from Caroline three days ago. She… I've never heard her sound like that." Cam said in a small voice.
Hodgins nodded. "She called us too. I know what you mean."
"Did she call Tempe?" Max asked looking at them curiously.
"I don't think so." Angela supplied. "I think she got it straight from the Military."
"She was probably on the notifying list." Cam agreed. "S-Seeley would have moved heaven and earth for her to be notified properly this time."
They nodded somberly and fell quiet once more. Suddenly no one was up to keep up the talk anymore. All of them got lost in the memories of that fateful two weeks a couple of years ago, when they had thought Booth was dead. Only this time there won't be any miraculous coming back from the afterlife.
Sometime later Edgar entered the room quietly.
"You have a guest, sir." He said to Hodgins.
"Who is it?" Jack looked at him.
"Some young man saying he's with the FBI, sir." Edgar replied politely.
All of them looked at each other, their faces in various states of curiosity and surprise. Cam shrugged slightly as Hodgins looked at her questioningly, before he left with Edgar. He returned quickly followed by-
"Sweets!" Angela said surprised.
"Hi, guys." He said sheepishly, putting his hands in the pockets of his trousers and looking down.
Cam took in the young doctor's haggard appearance. His shirt was wrinkled and not tucked in properly, while his tie was loose around his neck. He looked like he had slept about as much as the rest of them. Cam glanced at the people around the room, noticing for the first time that he didn't actually seem that far out of place standing among them all.
"What are you doing here?" Angela asked genuinely surprised. "I mean- Not that you're not invited, it's just…" she bit her lip.
Sweets shrugged, eyes flickering briefly to everyone. "I… I needed to see you guys. I- I don't have anyone else to talk to… And Daisy is still in Maluku… and, well…" he trailed off, shoving his hands more deeply into his pockets, his shoulders slouched.
"Oh." Angela said, getting up. She hugged the young Psychologist tightly. "I'm glad you came here then."
He returned the hug, closing his eyes. "Dr. Brennan's place was dark and they said the Lab was closed. I…I didn't know where else to go."
"Well, you're welcomed here." She released him and smiled sadly.
He smiled briefly at her then looked at his feet again.
"Come on, sit down." Hodgins pointed to a place near Cam, while Edgar the Butler prepared a cup of tea for him.
Sweets nodded and sat on the sofa, accepting the teacup politely.
"So, how has anyone of you guys been holding up?" he asked them after a while, looking around inquisitively.
No one really answered him. Angela sniffled again while Hodgins looked up angrily. Cam avoided his eyes while Max didn't even acknowledge him.
"Because I think it would be good to talk about it." Sweets continued, undeterred. "We all knew Booth quite well. He was our friend. And h-his d-death affects us all. I just-"
"Oh, quit the crap, Sweets!" Angela interrupted him suddenly.
Everyone looked up at her, surprised. But she ignored them, glaring fiercely at the psychologist, hands fisted and eyes bright with tears.
Sweets stammered. "Ugh, I didn't- It's just-"
"Don't act as it doesn't affect you!" She continued. "I don't want to hear about your psychology!"
Sweets flushed and got up abruptly, making Cam blink with surprise.
"It doesn't affect me?!" he seethed uncharacteristically, while everyone in the room gawked at him. "Of course it affects me! He was my friend too, you know? And now, I-I don't have anyone anymore!" He glared at Angela. "Booth teased me and picked up on me, but I could always count on him! I could. He made fun of me, but I knew he cared. I cared…" he faltered slightly. "And no one- no one will call me a twelve year old kid anymore. No one will make fun of my psychology, then come looking for help. And he won'- he'd not-" He took a deep breath, and looked at Angela desperately. "Don't you see?" he finished in a quivering voice. "He was- he was my friend and the- the older brother I never had…"
"He loved you too, Sweets."
Everyone looked up to see Brennan standing in the doorway.
"Dr. Brennan." Sweets said, his eyes wide.
But she looked away.
"Come sit with us, Bren." Angela asked, hopefully.
But Brennan shook her head. "No, I've- I've just wanted a glass of water." And with that, she left them again.
Cam looked at the others gathered in the room around her. Angela - subdued - had her head down, her shoulders shaking, while Jack put a comforting arm around her. Max sighed heavily, also looking at his lap. Sweets stood in the middle of the room, looking lost and awkward.
Cam sighed. Their little family was falling apart and she wasn't sure if there was anything anyone could do to stop it.
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Brennan paced her room where she locked herself in. She could not get the image of Sweets' outburst out of her mind. How could Booth do this to them? How could he leave them? She made him promise to not play a hero! She made him! How could he do this!
Didn't he realize Sweets looks up to him as his mentor, brother, and friend? That the kid needs him to guide him? Or didn't he care that Angela needs him as her friend too? And as a flirting buddy she could tease and have fun with? And Cam! Cam knew Booth her whole life, how could he do this to her? Cam depended on him as her oldest friend and as her colleague, how could he leave her? Even Jack and her Father were affected! How could Booth do this to them?
How could Booth do this to her?
Didn't he realize she needs him?
She put her arms around herself, refusing the tears to fall down.
Didn't he realize she can't… can't live without him?
A tear-streaked face of a young blond boy flashed in her mind.
Parker… oh, God… Parker…
She sobbed once, gulping down the rest of her whimpering, while the tears that she tried so hard to stop from falling, finally, leaked down.
How could Booth do this to Parker?
The boy was inconsolable when she had met him this afternoon at the Jeffersonian. He cried and cried into her shoulder, moaning for his father and it broke her heart. She was holding him as close as she could, wishing there was anything she could do to help him. But what can you do when your parent is gone? She knew the pain and feeling of that abandonment…
But at least he had Rebecca…
…and Rebecca had him.
Brennan stilled; her breathing accelerating. Rebecca had Parker. She had a little bit of Booth left in her life. A little bit of Booth… in the form of Parker… his child… She felt a sudden, hot surge of jealousy at the blond woman.
But she… there was…
A frozen cup in a clinic under her name; provided once by her partner and friend… and everything.
She could have a little bit of Booth herself…
A little angel with his eyes and his charming smile…
She hugged herself as her mind worked over the pros and cons.
The World has lost one of the best men she has ever known. And if It could not have him anymore… if he could not make it a better place… at least she could make sure another child of his would…
Yes…
She won't be alone… there was still hope. She'll have a little bit of Booth herself, too…
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End of Chapter Four
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AN 2 So Brennan rationalizes. And with that we move from pure angst into the drama part. Stay tuned for next week with the new chapter titled: When It Rains, It Pours (which despite the title it's not that angsty).
Like always, reviews are really appreciated (and they DO motivate to write more). Don't forget to leave one! :)