DISTRICT ONE REAPINGS

Radiance Drite, 17

"If only I could go on my own terms."

I could pass for perfect if you looked over my shoulder into the mirror attached to the vanity table. Glossy, wavy, white blond hair up in a neat twist. A flawless complexion. A face that has been compared to perfectly chiseled marble many times. Ice blue eyes. A button nose. Bowed light pink lips.

I could pass for perfect if you looked only at my school records. A plus after A plus. I could pass for perfect if you looked at my Academy reports. I was the best. The sure volunteer.

But the accident took everything away from me.

I could pass for perfect if you interviewed all my friends. A poor girl in a horrible accident. But aren't they wrong. So wrong. When was I ever a sweet, loving, innocent girl?

Before the accident, I was a bitch. I've always been a bitch. I was involved with setting up the firework. I'm not some poor saint that got mixed up with the wrong crowd. But I let them think what they want to think.

It's not like I smile sadly and bravely go to classes and make speeches all over Panem. I don't visit my 'attackers' in jail. I just sit and quietly curse all of them for forgetting yet again that I'm Radiance, even if I look like a pathetic shadow of my former self. I look like I've been defeated, but this is just a setback. This ain't gonna stop me. Idiots, you think that because I have a scarred, blackened stump in place of my right leg that looks horrible, and a left leg that is a disgusting, stick thin, scarred twisted thing devoid of the hard-earned muscle I had put on, and because the skin starting from below my bellybutton is marred with scar after scar, I'm a saint? Did the teachers forget that they hated me and wished me dead? Did the scrawny nerds and freaks forget that I taunted and bullied them mercilessly? Did the exes forget that I toyed with their hearts and smashed them to pieces? Did my family forget the many family dinners I skipped and the countless fights I've had with them? Did my 'friends' forget that they never knew me, only that I was a heartless bitch? Does anyone remember? Did they forget?

If they forgot, they made a mistake. Or maybe they've gotten better at hiding. And I'm proud.

Carne Amel, 18

"I'm not going to be tearing myself apart over the past."

"Should we go train or go to the dance studio to check out the chicks?" I ask.

"I want a smoothie," replies Jaspire. "Then we can go to the dance studio."

Sighing, I agree. I want to train. I'm this year's volunteer. But I can't ditch my best friend. It's Reaping day, and there's a chance that I won't make it out alive.

The dance studio is a large dark theatre that has been around for ages. There used to actually be plays in there, but after the Dark Days there wasn't time for that stuff. So we turned it into a dance studio, a sort of sport for the children and teenagers that didn't go to the Academy. It's wimpy, but the girls there are hot.

After wandering around a little, we find that there's nobody there. That's weird. The instructors are damn strict about not wasting any practice time and train even on Reaping days.

"Crap. I forgot. Radiance," Jaspire says, and I squeeze shut my eyes. How could we have forgotten? A year ago, the day before the Reaping, Radiance Drite was involved in an accident concerning a firecracker. It burned badly her legs and lower torso. After infection set in, she lost her right leg. She was the kind of girl that everyone knew. In honour of the dance school's former star, on the day before the Reaping and Reaping day, they wouldn't practice. Same with school. Pointless if you ask me, but these are the kinds of things people do for Radiance.

Back to her: You either loved her or hated her. But hating her was pointless. She would just make your life miserable, and use your words against you. She was good at everything, even if you tried to push her down. She was smart, beautiful, talented, strong. But she was missing things inside. She was empty, and she filled that emptiness with ice. Even though we all knew we should stay away from her, that she was dangerous, manipulative, icy, we just followed her mindlessly. We put it down to her perfectness, to her manipulation, but in reality, we were just weak, and she was strong. She had been perfect outside. But we all knew inside she was made of ice. I would know.

I had loved her. Tried to break through her walls. But it was pointless. I just became another ex.

But I'm gonna win the Games. I'm not going to be tearing myself apart over the past.

I'll show her.

Radiance Drite, 17

Wheeling myself into the Reaping square, I ignore everyone and push away my mother's attempts at helping me. Suddenly, I hear, "Icy bitch."

Smiling, I turn in that direction, a little smile forming on my face. I see a girl with honey-blonde hair and dark green eyes staring at me and smirking. Standing up, I feel unstable without my right leg and balancing on my weak left leg, but I don't back down. Still smiling, I rest my hands on my hips and ask, "What did you say?"

She trembles, but holds her ground. "Icy bitch." I laugh.

"A make-up diva like you commenting on me?" Not my best line, but I want to see how she reacts.

She mumbles, "White haired freak", but shrinks back. Weakling. No fun at all. But she's still standing in front of me.

Sighing, I hold my hand. Instinctively, she takes it. I laugh out loud. Trusting. Stupid. Bitch. I quickly push her to the ground and hold out my knife. My knee buckles, and I fall, but I ignore it. "You say I'm a white-haired freak? You don't know your stats and colours then. My hair is white-blond, and 89% of District 1 citizens say that girls with white-blond hair are more beautiful and desirable. Since only 34% of people in this District have white-blond hair, I guess I'm a rarity, huh?"

Not true. Being one of the 34% doesn't make me a rarity, but she eats up the shit, so who cares?

"If you love your common as shit hair, well… too bad." I take a few locks of her hair and slice at it choppily. I'm surprised no one stops me, but I guess that this is entertainment for the Peacekeepers and who stops Radiance? She whimpers and starts to cry. Bitch. I take more and cut, until she is full out bawling.

"Done," I say in satisfaction. Half of her hair is cut in a choppy mess, and the other half is normal. She hides behind her meek boyfriend, and I just say, "You forget I'm Radiance."

Laughing, I sit back in my wheelchair, not letting them see that I'm drained. The mayor finishes his mundane speech and and the escort takes over with her speech and video. Then… "Ladies first!" After a lot of moving her hand around in the glass bowl, she says: "Radiance Drite!" There are a lot of gasps as I wheel myself up to the stage.

I don't care. Not at all. Not about the gasps, or the Games. I know I'm gonna die.

I smile. I don't expect a volunteer. Usually there is a volunteer, but this year the Academy's tactic is to have a weak reaped female and a strong volunteering male. Last year the final two were both from One. The female came back with excessive mental, emotional and psychical scarring. They lost the most promising male they had in five years. To avoid that again, they came up with this tactic.

It's stupid. I could sit for days and tell you why, but eh.

Then my seventeenth ex-boyfriend comes and volunteers. It's anti-climactic.

Carne Amel, 18

There's some commotion in the seventeen-year-old waiting area, and I'm guessing, from what the eighteen-year-olds are saying, it has to do with a certain heartbreaker.

There is plenty of action here too. Some of the girls are trying to make last minute moves on me, hoping to get with a potential Victor. It's too bad I have to turn all of them down, because some of them are real lookers, but I've got to get my head in the game; and if I die, I sure don't want any girl crying over me.

Hmm… not these girls though. These girls won't be crying over me. If I die, they'll be crying over a lost bet. They just want a Victor boyfriend. And even if I was looking for a girlfriend, none of them are the loyal and faithful type I'm looking for.

Turning away from them, I try to concentrate on the speeches. There are cameras, and I want to make a good impression. Then the escort comes on and I'm feeling nervous.

I'm sure I can do this thing. But I'm just so scared of death.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can win.

I'm so caught up in my mantra, I miss the female reaping. I hear collective gasps but I'm still thinking, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

When I volunteer for that tall sixteen-year-old and see Radiance in front of me, saying that I'm surprised is an understatement. I gasp so loudly that I'm sure that any potential sponsors have been put off by my comical reaction. Radiance is looking at me in disdain and mouthing, "Number Seventeen."

I understand immediately. She's telling me that I'm just ex number 17. She swats away my hand when I try to shake it, but the escort looks like she's going to start lecturing about following the Reaping Tradition and whatnot, and Radiance doesn't want a scene, so she sighs and shakes my hand. Actually, squeezes my hand. Hard.

But I don't care. In a few days, she'll be dead. I mean, she's getting nowhere on that twisted leg, and who says that I can't be bitter over that breakup?

Radiance Drite, 17

I take hold of the diamond necklace. Iunia had said, "Diamonds for my little diamond." How cliché. How stupid. How useless. "Thank you, mother, for my token" I say. "Now…?" I point to the door, and Iunia walks out, sobbing.

I shake my head. Such a disappointment to the Drite family name. What was my father thinking when he remarried that weak woman? My mom had been strong and fierce. She had gone into the Games, for God's sake! Too bad she had died. She would have been great. She could have trained me to become even better. She would have given me a useful token with hidden properties.

Kerly, my younger half-sister, walks in and gives me a piece of amber. I smile and pocket it. She smiles tragically back, and walks out slowly, looking over her shoulder at me. I snort. She sure has inherited Iunia's dramatic flair.

My dad walks in and gives me a family photograph. Of dad, Iunia, and Kerly. I smile and pocket it. He hugs me, and keeps apologising. He cries into my shoulder, but soon leaves in a hurry, after the Peacekeepers inform him that his wife is in a very distraught state outside.

I take out the tokens and crush them. I don't need them. Then I ponder on my impending death. If only I could go on my own terms…

Carne Amel, 18

"You're coming back soon, right?" My little sister asks me. "I need you to help me with the Academy. And I need to interview you for my school project."

I smile at Olga and pinky promise. I feel pained inside, because even though I've trained, there's still a 23/24 chance that I will die.

But I chose this. And I need to stay strong for my little Olgs. At the age of six, she's incredibly fast and pretty, and I can't wait to watch her grow.

Then, I hug Piero, my older brother and partner in crime. "Little bro, you have to come home. I've got the party planned already." He says. I roll my eyes at my brother's love for parties. He whispers, "And we've got pranks to plan." I laugh and hug him. "Sure Pieguy. Where's my token?" He smiles and passes me a small carnelian. The gem I was named after. I rub the shiny red surface and hug him again.

My mother playfully shoves him out of the way and says: "Take good care of yourself Carne…" She hugs me then and stage whispers: "Your older brother stole that carnelian from me. I expect it back after the Games!"

Even though she's joking, my stomach roils. They'll get my token back, even if I die…they'll pry it from my fingers, then they'll bury me deep underground… I swallow hard, and kiss her cheek.

My father then gives me a few words of encouragement, and hugs me hard. "Come back Carne. Be safe. We've got hopes riding on you."

They leave, and the room seems too empty. I roll the carnelian around in my palm, idly rubbing it. I wonder about where I'll go when I die. Will darkness cover me? Will I be still but still thinking, for all eternity, locked inside my unmoving body? Will there be a great fire, burning me and my mind to pieces? Will there be heaven? Where will I go?

A/N: Sorry for not updating in so long! I will try harder to update soon. Review please, and submit tributes! I need a D5 male submitted fast, or I will place one of my filler tributes in. So, what are the predicted placings for Radiance and Carne? And special thanks to goldie031 (check out her SYOT! It's great!) for beta-ing for me.

Signing off,

BrokenMockingjay