Well, there goes my attempt to keep the chapters short. This chapter is 2.4K words not including the author note rip

On another note, the amount of favorite and follows for this story is so far apart I can't help but feel puzzled as to why? Normally it's not that far apart but for this story, the follow is literally more than two times the favorite. Wow.

Anyway, I'm glad you guys enjoy the story so far and I hope I can continue updating on a regular schedule!

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WARNING FOR ANGST!

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Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!

[Love in the Dark]

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Chapter 4

For a week after the incident, Marinette had never gotten a good night sleep. She would either toss and turn in her sleep, or simply had recurring nightmares about the incident; sometimes even a more dramatic and unrealistically-gruesome version of it. She would wake up covered in sweat and stayed awake for hours until she had to go to school. The fact that nobody really blamed Ladybug, aside from a small group of haters who had always been inevitably there, for the man's death actually made her feel worse. At one point of the first week, Marinette had turned to sleeping pills because she severely needed sleep to regain her virtually non-existent stamina, especially because of increasing school project as a second year.

As Ladybug, she tried her best to appear as confident and levelheaded and… basically as Ladybug as she could pull off, but it seemed that Chat had caught on to her culminating stress. She had the feeling he was going to confront her about it, but she was glad that whenever they met, it was only to battle an Akuma, which left no time for a deep talk. And after they were done, there was barely any time for them to stay because their Miraculous would already be giving warning beeps by the end of every battle. She would give him a playful smile as usual as she seductively waved goodbye at him and then disappeared into the Parisian skyline.

Once she was home, however, her strong front crumbled as she stood in front of the mirror trying to convince herself that she'd done better this time. That nobody died.

But every single time, she would be reminded by the blood, the limp and cold body, and how inanimate that man was in her arms. Then it would continue to the fact that she had turned a little boy fatherless, and a kind woman husbandless. She would then drown herself into school work as distraction, pushing the rotten thoughts into the corner of her mind.

One night, Marinette was popping a sleeping pill into her mouth when Tikki spoke.

"Marinette, this is not the way out."

The bluehead blinked. "Uhm… what?"

The red kwami sighed before crossing her tiny arms. "It's been two weeks. This is not how you use sleeping pills. You've been consuming it nonstop and it's getting really concerning."

"But, Tikki, you know I can't sleep without it."

"Exactly. You can't sleep without it. You have a problem and you should talk it out instead of letting a bottle of pills solve it for you."

"Talk it out." Marinette parroted, somewhat bitterly. "With who? Who should I go to without having to say 'Oh hey, guess what? I'm Ladybug and I'm depressed because I let an innocent citizen die.'?" She cringed after saying it herself. "Everyone probably think I'm just stressed out from school or something." She waved her hand and climbed up to her bed.

"You know you have someone you can talk to as Ladybug."

"I do?"

"Marinette."

"Come on, Tikki, are you seriously asking me to talk to Chat Noir?" she asked, stressing his name for no particular reason as she crawled into the blanket. "He'll probably just make fun of me."

"You know he won't. Remember how sweet he was at the hospital?"

"I guess… yeah. But still, this is my own problem to face."

"And from what I see, you're not facing it very well." Tikki frowned back when Marinette looked at her in protest. "Marinette, it is important to know when to seek help. There's nothing to be ashamed of. The two of you fight together side-by-side and understand each other better than anyone could ever do. There are things you can only confide in each other because no one else understands."

Marinette looked like she was in a deep thought before she said, "You know what? I can never turn down your advice."

"I know." Tikki giggled.

Marinette closed her eyes as she slowly drifted to sleep and mumbled, "I sure hope that cat doesn't get over the top, though."

Tikki smiled and tucked herself beside Marinette.

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"Pound it!"

They grinned as their fist collided.

"As heartbreaking as it is to say goodbye, M'lady, this cat has to return to his sweet home."

As he said that, Chat Noir bowed and took her hand before kissing her knuckles. He almost stumbled backward when she gripped his hand tight as he attempted to turn on his heels. He looked into her bluebell eyes and immediately knew what this is about.

"Bugaboo?" he asked, just to make sure.

The superheroine let go of his hand before looking anywhere but him. She fiddled with her fingers unconsciously as she bit her lip and he wanted to hit himself for thinking she was cute. "Can we talk?" she finally spoke, very quietly.

Chat was about to answer "Yes, of course, let us go like, right now!" on impulse if only his ring didn't give him its fourth warning beep.

"We'll go recharge and meet up at the Eiffel tower?" Chat suggested.

Ladybug nodded and gave him a small smile. "Sounds good to me," she said with a nod.

Chat mirrored her smile before waving at her and they both jumped out of sight.

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Chat looked around at the top of the Eiffel tower, wondering if Ladybug was already there. True enough, he spotted her sitting by one of the four sides, dangling her legs freely like she wasn't afraid to fall. Of course, she wasn't. She'd fly back up as quick. That was one of the things he admired about her.

The superhero didn't realize that he had been standing for almost a minute, just staring at her from the back, admiring her dark blue hair reflecting the orange light from the sky. The wind was strong at their height and she had to fix her hair from time to time so it didn't get to her face. For some reason, that gesture was so elegant and lady-like and Chat couldn't help but swoon at it. Boy was he hopelessly in love with this girl.

"Chat?" she called but didn't turn back. "I know you're there, you creepy stalker."

He couldn't help but laugh at her insult. "Whatever gave you the impression, M'lady?" he said nonchalantly as he walked to her side and took a spot, positioning himself so he was dangling his legs right beside hers.

"When you stare at someone for a good minute without saying anything?" She shrugged.

"Who am I to say you're wrong?" he said playfully and earned a punch in the arm. "So, what do I owe this pleasant afternoon to?"

The superheroine visibly tensed at his question but he decided not to point it out.

"So uh, remember two weeks ago?" she spoke up and then snorted. "What am I saying? How could anyone forget the greatest failure of Paris' superheroine? It's all over the news."

Chat cocked a brow at the sudden bitterness in her voice.

"So…I actually didn't want to drag you into this but Tikki–uh, my kwami, she insisted that I talk to you about it and…"

"It must be quite serious if Tikki had to insist…"

She reluctantly nodded. "Apparently, yeah, she thought it's not okay for me to consume sleeping pills every day and–"

Chat was visibly taken aback. "Wait, you what?!" He yelled, flabbergasted. "Sleeping pills? Every day?" he snapped and she shrunk. "Bugaboo, why didn't you talk to me sooner? You're killing yourself!"

"Well, uhm, it's not as bad as it sounds." She showed a reassuring smile. "I do eat three times a day and I'm not cooped up in my room brooding over this. I still go to school and talk to my friends so it's all good. But at night I either can't sleep or have nightmares. It's seriously nothing bad, but I guess Tikki sees it worse."

Chat crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her. "As a matter of fact, M'lady, it sounds to me that you're sugarcoating everything."

"Do I sound like that?"

"Very much so."

"Well, it wasn't my intention."

"M'lady," he sighed, "How long have we been partners?" he asked and she blinked.

"I guess it's a little bit over one year? Where are you going with this question, though?" she asked in mild confusion.

"Well, I don't know about you but that's enough time for me to tell you're lying without having to turn it all, y'know, verbal?" Ladybug frowned but he continued. "Do you know you have this habit to touch either your neck or your wrist or your hair when you're lying? I doubt anyone's ever told you that?"

Her jaw dropped as she started feeling self-conscious and that answered his question.

"Your back is also slightly hunched when you feel uncomfortable telling the truth," he said and she immediately straightened her back, which he found cute. "And–"

"Okay, enough! Embarrassing me is not what this talk is supposed to be about!" She yelped, burying her face in her hands. He could spot the redness of her ears that almost matched her suit.

"You're right. So, let me guess. This is what I think. You believe you have disappointed everyone because of what happened two weeks ago?"

"I… might have thoughts like that, yeah."

"See? Told you I could tell."

"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes. He just had to boast whenever he got one thing right.

"I'm sorry I couldn't' save you."

Those words struck Ladybug like never before; the way he said it made the strong fortress in her heart crumble. Her breath was caught in her throat and tears pricked behind her eyes. Her lips quivered and she honestly didn't want him to see her in this situation. Before he could turn to see her face, she rested her forehead on his shoulder, making him jump a bit.

"M'lady?" he asked carefully.

"I… I'm not the one who should be saved, Chat. It was me. I failed. I was a failure. And you know what, that word never left my head since that day. Not once. It haunts me in my dreams, in my wake, in every second of my life. I tried not to think about it but it kills me. Before I know it, I feel like I've failed every aspect of my life. I lied. I barely ate anything. I ate and threw up everything. I didn't know how to eat without thinking I've stolen someone's luxury to do so. How could I live and talk and breathe and laugh while I robbed every single one of those things from someone? I believe I've lost the right to live. But at the same time I didn't want to give up because it resolves nothing if I die and–"

"Ladybug!"

She stopped, catching her breath and biting back her sobs.

"Sssh, it's alright. Look at me, Bugaboo." He gently cupped her cheeks and slowly made her look at him. His heart broke when he saw her eyes red and puffy, tears still streaming down her cheeks with no sign of stopping, and her jaw trembled like a little child. He didn't know if she realized that she was gripping onto his wrists like her life depended on it.

"I… I don't know what to do anymore, Chat. I-it hurts me so much but there's nothing I can do." She broke down, crying and whimpering like a dam that was broken and the water couldn't stop. "What do I do…" she squeaked.

He bit his lip and he could feel his eyes glistening as well because there was the girl he loved, breaking apart and within his reach. Without thinking, he pulled her into a tight embrace, patting her back as she choked on her own tears. She didn't hug him back but buried her face in his shoulder blade.

"You're the strongest girl I know, Ladybug. And the fact that you've fallen this low breaks my heart. You deserve none of this." She shook her head in his embrace and he held her tighter. "No, you listen to me, you stubborn little bug! It's not your fault and one day you'll understand. I'll save you. I'll save you because you deserve it and there's nothing you can do about it, do you hear me?"

"Chat…" she whimpered before nodding and hugging him back.

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It had been a while since Ladybug calmed down. They were back to sitting position side by side and Chat put his hand on top of hers, just enough to make her feel safe but not being too intimate.

Ladybug sighed. "Thanks again for accompanying me this afternoon, Chat."

"Are you starting to regret turning me down?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Aren't you just wonderful at ruining the atmosphere?"

"Me-ouch! This cat is hurt, M'lady! Now he needs kisses on the wounds," he chirped playfully as he clasped his hands and leaned closer.

She put a hand on his face and laughed.

"You're such a dork."

They laughed together for a while, absorbing the great Parisian view as the sky got darker and golden lights emerged from below them, creating breathtaking gradient. Ladybug closed her eyes and felt the wind in her face. A smile never left her face.

Beside her, Chat had the same smile as he looked at her lovingly, feeling nothing but warm happiness that he had done his Lady good.

Daringly, he placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close so her head was slightly touching his chest. She seemed a bit tensed for one second but immediately relaxed.

"Uhm, what do you think you're doing?" she asked.

He snickered. "Never mind this cat just practicing a completely platonic gesture of affection."

Ladybug looked up at him from her position, seeing that, despite the cocky smile on his face, he was flustered and looking elsewhere. She smiled and closed her eyes, snuggling closer and ignorning the increasingly audible sound of his rapid heart beating.

"If you say so, kitty."

"I am pawsitive, M'lady."

He tried to be brave and placed a hand on top of her head, stroking it softly as she hummed. And that evening, he fell for her all over again.

TO BE CONTINUED

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