Thomas sits back in the van, burying his head into his palms. What have I done? What have I done? He repeats over and over again in his head. Lawrence always look at him every now and then. Asking if he was okay.
Thomas wouldn't reply.
He looks out the window to where his friend's limp body now lays. A pool of blood stains the streets, surrounding Newt's body. Thomas would never forgive himself. He looks at his palms. Stained with blood.
He scrapes the dried blood of his hand violently. Rubbing his palms together leaving pieces of dried blood falling onto the van floor.
"Thomas we're nearly there," Lawrence says putting a hand on his shoulder. Thomas turns away, shoving his hand off. Lawrence only sighs.
The van rams into a sudden stop. Thomas looks up, his vision blurry with tears. The Hangar wasn't very big. They all step out of the van. Minho and the others waiting for them.
Thomas steps out, Brenda and Minho run to him. Giving him a tight hug.
"Where have you been? We've been waiting nearly an hour for you, I thought you died," Brenda says with tears in his eyes.
Thomas doesn't hug back. "Dude, what's wrong? You look like a when you just first arrived in the Glade," Minho asks.
Thomas pushes Brenda away and falls to his knees crying. He held out his hands; still red from Newt's blood. Minho stares at him, giving him that kind of 'death stare'.
"I killed him! I killed him, Minho. I killed Newt!" Thomas cries. The other Gladers behind him give gasps. Brenda drops to his side. Placing a soft hand on his shoulder.
"It was for the best, he wouldn't want to have seen you be killed by… his people."
Thomas scorns at her. His people. He thinks. Cranks. Minho's face drops. His once cheery and sarcastic face actually turns deep and filled with sorrow. Thomas had only known Newt for a few weeks. Minho has known him for all his life that he can remember. Thomas couldn't imagine the pain that Minho was going through.
But Minho, being the usual tough self, finally snaps back into reality and takes lead. "Well, no time to mourn now. We have to find the Immunes." Everyone stands up and follows him. Thomas too finally getting to his feet. "But before that, Thomas, Newt left me this to give to you. He said he didn't know when just at the right time. And I guess this is the right time. He specifically said 'Don't you bloody read it, or you will be the first one I get'."
Sounds like Newt. Thomas thinks in his head, letting out a slight grin. Thomas grabs the piece of paper that Minho was holding out to him, gripping it in his hands, clutching it tight.
Minho leads everyone into the Hangar, leaving Thomas and Brenda outside. Just as everyone was walking in, Teresa comes over and hugs Thomas.
"I thought I lost you, Tom," she whispers. Brenda stands to the side, her face trying to hold in the jealousy. Thomas still doesn't react to anything. He didn't want to. He doesn't know what to do. Instead he just puts one arm around her, then turns the other way. Teresa lets out a slight gasp and runs back into the Hangar.
"I'll leave you alone for now," Brenda says giving him a final hug. Thomas didn't like all the attention he was receiving. He had just killed his best friend and people are trying to make him feel better by saying that it was for the best.
Thomas didn't believe in any of that. He would never forgive himself for what he did to Newt. What he did to himself. He sits on the floor, leaning his back onto one the side of the wall. He rests his elbows on his knees, unravelling the note, his fingers shaking. He closes his eyes and takes one deep breath before he starts reading.