WARNING: This story may contain explicit adult material. Extreme graphic violence. Overly sexual dialogue. Strong profanity/language. Nudity and/or sexual content. Rape. Child abuse. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. OVER 18 ONLY.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter song: Bittersweet symphony – The Verve

Chapter Three

~ Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. ~King Whitney Jr.

~O~

~Bella~

Ten minutes after Carlisle left, Rosalie and I were still not talking. But what was there to say?

So? Why are you giving me your baby? Not that I mind but I just want to make sure you're not crazy and will appear suddenly in ten years and want it back.

Yeah, not so good.

But I still wasn't ready to tell her anything. And from her little speech I gathered that she had been through a lot of shit herself. So no one would push for more information here.

"Why me?"

I turned my head slowly, mostly because if I turned it faster I'd probably throw up the delicious breakfast I just had.

Her eyes were intense, more so than just the colour, she had a small glimmer of hope in them. So small that I knew she was trying to hold herself back, not get too excited yet.

"Why not?"

Shitty thing to say I know, but really, why not? Carlisle was good enough to take care of me and I knew I wouldn't be able to make a decision for myself. It was as if the decision appeared out of nowhere, to solve all my problems. I was there now, I met two out of-I-still-don't-know-how-many-there-are-in-this-family-yet, and they both looked fine to me. More than fine. Better them than anyone else.

There was silence again but not awkward, instead, the mood was lighter and I relaxed back on my seat.

"You really don't mind me staying with you? I have nowhere else to go actually. I haven't told anyone of my pregnancy yet and I'm trying really hard to keep it a secret since I'm planning on going back next year."

She smiled and nodded, "Yeah, totally cool with me. Anything to help you, Bella. You know I was thinking—would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night? I said we'd help you move out so it might be better if you met the family during dinner. It would be slightly uncomfortable to meet them while you're trying to move from your apartment and come live with us?"

She spoke so quickly I barely understood. Barely.

Dinner. Cullens. One big awkward group. Great.

"U-um well, y-yeah sure. I have to meet your husband at some point right? Who else is going to be there?"

"My brother Jasper and his wife Alice, my in laws basically but you already know Carlisle so that leaves Esme and Edward."

"Esme is you mother-in-law?"

She nodded. "She's really cool. She's been like a mother to me all these years. She'll love you and I'm sure you'll love her too. She is the one person that knows what I've been through ."

"Has she... Has she ever lost a baby?"

Too forward? Maybe, but I wanted to know. It seemed like the family was full of surprises, and a lot of similarity. I smiled to myself and resisted the urge to rub my barely-there baby bump.

I found you the perfect family, kid.

Rosalie frowned and lowered her eyes. "She's been through a lot. I'm sure she'll talk about it when the time comes."

She forced a smile.

"Edward?"

"Emmett's brother, he's weird."

"Weird, how?"

She paused and looked down again.

Not good.

"Rosalie?"

She took a sip from her latté and avoided my intense gaze again.

"Rosalie?"

Nothing.

"Okay, now you're scaring me, what is it? He's a murderer? A maniac? A psychopath? What?" I all but yelled at her.

"Okay, I have to warn you but please remember that he's been through a lot too, and his beliefs are different from ours, Bella. He is seeing things from another perspective. He's not exactly excited for this. The baby I mean," she whispered the last words.

So, someone from the family didn't want my baby. I couldn't say I was surprised, it was bound to happen.

"He doesn't want my baby, but why?" I wondered out loud.

Rosalie laughed, a really amused, deep laugh.

Between me yelling at her about her psychopath brother-in-law and her laughing her heart out, people were starting to give us weird looks.

"Oh, Bella, you couldn't be more wrong. On the contrary, he's pissed with us for wanting to take the baby; he says we're taking it from you and it's morally wrong."

Morally wrong… was it?

All I wanted was a safe home for my baby and since I couldn't provide that on my own then I would find the next best thing. But what if I somehow changed my mind? Would I ever? What would change in eight months?

I groaned in frustration and put my head on my hands. What am I doing?

"What are you doing to me, Rosalie? I've made up my mind, so don't complicate me because I'm messed up as it is." I rubbed my temples; I could feel the headache approaching and my thoughts were running a hundred miles an hour!

I felt a hand on my shoulder rubbing me comfortingly. "I just want you to be sure. You're not giving me a bag, Bella, it's your baby. I don't know how it happened and frankly it doesn't matter, it did and that's it. We'll talk more about this when Jenks gives us the papers. Now, how about some girl time? Huh?"

~o~

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I looked good; well as good as a pregnant girl would look. The clothes did nothing to hide my barely there baby-bump, I didn't look pregnant but anyone who might see me in these clothes might guess...

At least that's what Rosalie had said, "You can't do anything to hide your pregnancy, so you might as well join them instead."

So shopping it was. We start looking for maternity clothes and other pregnancy stuff, which I had no clue about, but Rosalie could name every item as she carefully choose my clothes. I could almost see the wheels turning full speed in her head. She already had the theme for baby's room and a huge variety of clothing in her mind, without knowing the sex yet. Not that it mattered to her.

When Carlisle left the coffee shop, he informed me of his next actions regarding my situation.

"I will contact a lawyer as soon as possible to look at the legal side and have the needed papers ready for your signature. Also, tomorrow I'll find you a doctor from the clinic to be in charge of your pregnancy."

Just the idea of having a man examining me made me want to throw up and all the blood drained from my face. I have never, ever had a problem with male doctors before, but I guess now things had changed.

Upon seeing my reaction, Carlisle nodded awkwardly. "A woman, Bella, don't worry."

Rosalie and I made plans for my sudden living arrangements. She informed me that she would call me tomorrow to discuss the details and help me pack, which I protested.

"Bella, you can't pack on your own. I would feel much safer if I could be there to help you, please."

This meant that, dude; you're having my baby, so be careful. I think?

So I made sure that she had my number and of course, when she hinted something about shopping 'soon' I followed suit knowing that 'soon' meant 'then'.

So there I was. Trying my fifth dress in a comfy dressing room, while Rosalie continued to shove dresses, t-shirts, jeans and even underwear, through the curtains.

Was it all too fast? Certainly.

I barely knew the girl and yet somehow, she'd managed to distract me and think of something else. My baby – soon to be hers. I wasn't Bella Swan shopping for fun, I was Rosalie. Everything she didn't do; everything she couldn't have. It was all happening with a delay, but still happening. She was shopping for a baby that she'd finally get to meet, not just a painful memory of a painful hope that would be shattered sooner or later. This was real; she would finally get a baby. So no, it wasn't too fast, it was actually late; she should have had this years earlier.

I looked at the dress in my hand, it was not what I assumed was Rosalie's style. It was something I would wear. It was comfortable and yet stylish. From those few hours, I gathered that she was not the Barbie doll type. Sure, she cared for fashion and she wanted to look good—I mean who wouldn't? Especially with her looks and money.

But that was all it was; she was keeping up appearances. She was the good housewife everyone thought she was, no one knew her pain. I wondered if anyone had helped her too, if that was the reason why she was helping me. Or, if no one did and she was doing it for herself, because no one was there. Was she doing for me what she'd wished people had done for her?

Would you?

Would I help someone? Sure, if it was within my abilities, if I could and had the means to do so.

I had never thought about it. But I guess I was changing, everything that had happened within these last weeks had changed me somehow. I just hoped that it was enough, but I knew it wasn't. I was too messed up and a ticking bomb. Anything could make me lose it. That was my biggest fear that I would lose it eventually, and I would hurt my baby in the process.

Please, just let me have this baby safe and then let all hell break lose, I don't care what happens to me. Just not my baby.

"So?"

I put on one of the many dresses and hastily stepped out from the dressing room. Rosalie stood there with her arms fold in from of her chest.

She looked at me from head to toe and sighed. "You know, if you wanted to, you'd knocked them all dead, Bella." She winked and shoved another pile of clothes in my arms.

I took her words as a compliment and turned back to try some more clothes. She reminded me of some girl playing dress up with their Barbie doll, of course, I was no Barbie doll and she wasn't a little girl.

But who cares right?

I needed a distraction from all the commotion in my life and Rosalie needed someone to remind her of what she would have is a few months; it was a win-win, deal.

~o~

I practically dragged her out of the store and threatened to throw all the new clothes away if she insisted on dragging me along for anymore shopping. There was only so much a person could take.

"But, Bella, we still have so many things to shop for!" Her eyes were wide as was her smile as she was no doubt mentally checking the list in the head.

I stopped walking and she collided against my back, "No, we don't. Rosalie, you almost bought breastfeeding bras and baby clothes. And I saw that weird pillow stuff. Seriously? You wanna shop for baby stuff already? I said it was fine, but it wasn't just for a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts, you emptied the place."

Her heels clicked as she jogged to catch up with me. "No, I didn't."

I just shook my head; it was pointless to argue with her, she was in her own version of Disneyland when she was in a store.

She sighed, "I'm hyper aren't I? I'm sorry, Bella, really, it's that I'm so excited, you'll meet my sister-in-law tomorrow and you'll see for yourself where I got this." She chuckled. "So, are we on for tomorrow? For dinner?" she asked hesitantly.

Well, what the hell… it will happen at some point, you might as well just want to get over with it, Bella.

"Yeah, sure, why not." I turned to look at her once again. "Just not too many questions okay, I don't want to answer to anything yet…" I bit my lip as I waited for her answer.

"Of course, Bella, If you feel uncomfortable you can tell me and I'll shut them up!" She chuckled.

I just shrugged, she definitely would.

After a fight with her for the cab, I left her on the curb and when straight home. The sooner I left from there the sooner it would all end.

o

A pizza later and two cokes and I was ready for packing. I would do the majority of my stuff today and the clothes tomorrow. Sunday morning the guys would be here to help me move so that only left the carrying. I would just save up some time.

Along with the pizza, I got some boxes too. First my personal stuff, and then my clothes. I had to call Angela at some point and inform her. That was going to be the hard part. She was the only real friend I had there, so that made things a little easier. She would inform the rest of them once back home and I would step by the uni to explain my year off. Ben could come and live with Ang. I had a feeling that next year she would move in with him anyway, so it'd be no problem.

My books were the easiest. I emptied the bookcase and my desk; it took almost three large boxes. I marked them with "BOOKS" in dark marker and left them open in a corner in my bedroom. If the remaining boxes wouldn't fit I guessed I could put something extra in there to save space.

All my movies and CDs went in a smaller box that wouldn't fit anything else. I marked it with "CDs - DVDs" and closed it.

I had no idea what I'd need and what was already at Rosalie's place, but I packed my paintings, my desk lamps, and on top of them I carefully placed the mirror so I could still use it until it was time to pack it too. I marked the box with "FRAGILE" and put it on top of the others.

"Ahh damn!" I gasped holding my back and my abdomen at the same time. "I guess no more packing for me, little one, huh?"

By the time I tidied my room, it was already dark outside. After a nice hot soaking bath and jammies, I curled up in front of my TV, watching lame shows and chick flicks while sipping my hot chocolate.

"Nothing can get better than this, don't you think?" I rubbed my belly affectionately. "Well, we don't want you to get stupid watching these things from such a young age now do we?"

I paused and arched an eyebrow, am I talking to my baby bump?

Well…

"Go pack your stuff now, Isabella, we're leaving this hole!" Renee's angry voice rang through to house. I ran as fast as my small feet could go. I had never seen her so mad. She always threatened to leave but she never did. Dad would talk to her and calm her down, then he would take me fishing and when we'd come back she was long gone. But dad wasn't here, he was at work; I heard his talkie earlier, something had happened and he had to leave again. Renee never liked it when her plans were canceled. Maybe she wanted to leave again and he'd ruined her plans.

I locked my door and got in the closet. I would wait for dad to come home and talk to her again. I couldn't leave.

I heard footsteps and then she tapped on my door. "You ready?" She turned the knob and then taped again, harder this time. "You locked the door? Now you're in trouble, Isabella!"

I hated it when she called me that; I'd never heard her call me Bella.

A minute later, she came up again and this time she didn't knock, she unlocked the door and stepped in closing it so hard that I had to put my hands on my ears.

Please dad, come home now, please.

"Where the hell are you? We have to go, Isabella, come out on your own."

The closet door opened and a very angry looking Renee pulled me out by my hair.

"Ahh no, stop, please. Let me go, I'll come, I'll come. Please." I was sobbing as she dragged me downstairs, thankfully by my arm and not my hair this time.

"You sit here until I pack and don't you dare move or I-"

The door burst opened and dad came in the living room running, "Take your hands off of her, Renee, NOW! If you want to leave, you can but Bella stays with me. MOVE!" He was bright red and was breathing heavily.

"Like you can take care of her, you're never home. You promised you'd be home with her and you left. I lost my flight because of you and now I'm stuck in this place for the whole weekend. Congratulations," she screamed at him.

"You're free to go if you want. No one is stopping you. Step away from her."

She huffed and ran upstairs as dad came running to me.

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you, pumpkin?" He was looking at me from head to toe, checking my arms and legs. There was a huge red mark on my right arm from where she'd gripped me and my head felt weird but I'd had worse.

"Let's put some ice on your arm, okay?" He picked me up and walked into the kitchen. He placed me on the counter and opened the fridge taking a bag of ice. He wrapped it with a towel and placed it on my arm.

"Aw, dad, it hurts." I winced and pulled my arm away. He placed it back gently and held it.

There was silence for a moment until Renee came back with a big suitcase. "I'm outta here. But I'll be back for my daughter." She smiled a weird smile that didn't reach her eyes and left leaving the door open."

"She won't hurt you, I'm here now." Dad kissed my bruised arm and then the top of my head.

She won't hurt you, I'm here now.

She won't hurt you, I'm here now.

She won't hurt you, I'm here now.

Charlie was fading and all I could do was scream for him to come back and not leave me alone, but he wouldn't listen.

"Dad, no, come back, I need you. Please!" My back collided with the floor as I fell from the couch. I had fallen asleep.

Tears were streaming down my face and I was covered in sweat. I hated when I had those dreams. They felt so real it was terrifying. Subconsciously, I rubbed that spot on my right arm; sometimes I could still feel the pain from the bruise—from all the bruises, I'd had as a child. Renee's bruises still hurt me, both physically and mentally.

I picked myself off the floor and went in the bathroom to clean my face, but I knew it was pointless. This whole moving out thing reminded me of those times and my nightmares had become more frequent.

Be patient Bella, soon it will all be over.

I got in bed praying that the remainder of my night would be free of nightmares. A long, hard day was waiting for me tomorrow and the next day. Would all the Cullen's be as kind as Rosalie? Some would, she'd told me that. I wondered if Edward would be too harsh with me for doing what was, and to Rosalie and Emmett for helping me.

I drifted to sleep with one though on my mind.

Would I be strong enough to continue till the end, no matter what?

~o~

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews and your alerts and favs and all you who rec'd my story!

I added a warning just to be safe. I have all the links on my profile and the outfits for next chapter!

So, we saw a little from Bella's past and Edward is next, maybe….

What do you think he'll be doing in the story anyway?

Next update, soon….

Lots of thanks to my girls Feral and Ferla for making this story readable, vampireprincess1918 for being her usual self and my new pre-reader Sofia for offering her help and knowledge!