Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and it's characters belong to Disney and Squeenix. Not me. I own the plot, Cole, Will, and to an extent, Sora's mother.

Notes: I am so awfully sorry for this wait. Due to a lack of encouragement via reviews, it's very hard for me to get the motivation to continue this. But it's akuroku month! And in about 2 hours, it will be akuroku day here in the US. So I decided to bless you all with a new chapter. uwu I have an angsty little oneshot I'm working on for the occasion as well. I will be updating Pastel Blue sometime this week if anyone is following that. And I will be working on more of Spoony-Monster's AUs next week. Starting to get back into a working schedule again! This chapter is also unbeta'd because it has just been SO DAMN LONG. Enjoy!~

"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters." –John Green

Chapter 4: Hurt

8.2 Cole

Cole rushed into the hospital with her arms flailing. Sometime in the last twenty minutes that it took for her to get to Radiant Garden Public Hospital, Namine had been handed off to a much calmer Uncle Axel, who had brought Roxas along with them. The brunette stalked to the front desk and slammed her Organization insignia onto the wood in front of the poor girl who was behind it.

"Larxene Kamikaze. Where is she?" Cole said through clenched teeth.

The small redhead girl behind the desk managed to stammer out utterly nothing in the two minutes it took for her supervisor to arrive. "Ms. Takahashi, I would appreciate it greatly if you did not terrorize my employees," a tired sounding voice sounded behind the group of teenagers.

Cole whipped around to come face to face with Sara Hikaru, Sora's mother and one of the head physicians in the hospital. Sara was also very much aware of what the Organization was and who was in it, and did not approve in the least. However, the woman was still very dedicated to her job and wanted to help the children in anyway she could.

"Sorry…" Cole muttered, her eyes cast to her right. "I just need to know where Larx is."

"She's in the surgery right now. There was some internal damage and she has a broken femur. She should be out in about two hours. But then she'll have to be in the ICU until her internal organs stabilize," Dr. Hikaru replied with a face completely devoid of emotion.

Cole barely acknowledged that she heard what the doctor said before turning back to Axel. The redhead was sitting in the chairs in the middle of the room with an arm full of babbling baby and Roxas to his left. He was cooing at the child, seeing Namine's face light up as he did so. Cole watched with a small smile, Axel would make a marvelous father one day… She took a seat next to Axel with a sigh. "So I'll be waiting around here for a while… It'll be a few hours before Larxene even comes out of surgery and after that, it's an all-nighter to see how long it's going to take her to make a full recovery. Can you take her to Will's? I'd say give him to Marly, but he's busy with work tonight…"

The girl sighed and rubbed her temples. Sometimes she forgot that she was just a kid. Barely even fifteen and she took it upon herself to take care of a family. Now was among the few times she wished her parents were kind and she could live with them and not have to worry about all this shit.

Axel nodded and got up. "Come on, Nami! We're going to go see your Uncle Will! Are you excited?" he spoke in that voice that everyone used for children, falsely excited and hiding all the hurt of the world. Cole said good-bye to her child and watched as her tall, redhead friend walked away.

8. Axel

Axel gently cradled Namine in his arms as he walked out the hospital with Roxas at his side. The baby was thankfully asleep now, completely unaware of what was going on around her. The redhead was pretty much in a trance as he walked to Cole's car. He unlocked it and strapped Namine in. Getting into the driver's seat, he waited patiently for Roxas to get in the car on the other side. They drove in silence.

Arriving at Will's apartment complex, Axel had still said nothing. When the black haired boy answered his door, Axel uttered two words, "Larxene's hurt," before handing the baby off to his friend. Will nodded and closed the door. Roxas watched it all in silent understanding. He knew Axel would break as soon as they were alone and somewhere private. Getting back to the elevator, Axel said "I live another five floors up," and pressed the button to take them to his floor.

Axel let himself into his house and waved off Reno, inviting Roxas into his space. Getting to his room, he closed the door behind Roxas before sitting down on the floor next to his candle. With shaking hands he lit it and whispered,

"And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."

Once. Twice. Three times he recited this made up prayer to some god he didn't know even existed. He stared into the burning flame, not even noticing when Roxas sank down to the floor in front of him. The older boy reached over the flame, holding his wrist over it. Before the heat could even cause pain, a pale hand shot over and pulled Axel's wrist away. The redhead looked over to Roxas, staring into the baby blues, tears finally welling up into his eyes.

"This wasn't supposed to happen… We're invincible… No one can touch us…" Axel managed to say before a choked sob escaped his throat and his face scrunched up before he hid it in his hands. "No one has died before. No one has come through and had to go to the hospital… Larxene is one of our best fighters and she almost died…" he said through his sobs. "This couldn't have happened."

Roxas was at a loss of what to say. He scooted closer to his new friend and laid a hand on the taller boy's shoulder. He had no clue what he was getting into, Cole did not warn him about this. But, he figured that if this was something that had never happened before, there was no way she could have warned him. He leaned into Axel, attempting to welcome the redhead into his offered comfort.

Axel collapsed into Roxas' arms. He sobbed long and hard. He clutched the blond's shirt while soaking it with his tears. Roxas pat Axel's head softly before grabbing a handful of the thick, red hair and pressing the older boy's face closer to his shoulder. He let Axel cry for a long time. When Axel finally pulled away, Roxas glanced at the clock. It was 2am, Friday morning. He took out his phone and Axel spotted the 48 text messages and 30 missed calls. Most of them were from Sora, but a few were from Riku. He didn't even notice…

"Uhg. Sorry… I didn't mean to mess up your shirt…" Axel said softly. The bright, energetic young man from earlier that day was gone. In his place was a pathetic, sniffling, shell of a teenage boy. Roxas smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

"Hey, it's totally fine, okay?" Roxas said softly. "Just let me call Sora back and we can talk okay?" Axel nodded and Roxas got up and stepped out into the hallway.

Axel closed his eyes and curled up, wrapping his arms around his thin legs. He willed himself not to cry anymore. He honestly didn't understand why he was so torn up about Larxene. He really didn't even like the girl that much. She was straight up unbearable to be around before Cole showed up. His face contorted into an ugly visage as he tried to hold back his tears. A few leaked out before he dropped his head, resting his forehead on his knees.

'We're invincible. We're untouchable. We can't be killed. We can't be stopped. That is why I joined.' Not even seventeen, Axel became far too aware of his own mortality.

13. Roxas

As soon as the door closed behind him, Roxas hit the call back option on his phone to call Sora. His brunet cousin answered on the third ring. "ROXAS?" The scream could be heard even though Roxas had pulled his phone about a foot away from his ear. "Hey Sora…"

'Roxas! Where have you been? I know you went to hang out with Axel after school but it has been NEARLY TWELVE HOURS. YOU DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!' Sora screeched through the phone.

"I know! I know. Sora, calm down. I've just been at the hospital. AND BEFORE YOU PANIC, it wasn't me. I'm totally okay. I was just with Axel and Cole when Cole got the call that Larxene had been hurt. We dropped their daughter off with one of their friends… I'm at Axel's house right now… He's really not doing well," Roxas explained with a sigh. He heard Sora echo through the line.

'I get it… Roxas I really do. I'm glad you're making friends but they really aren't a good crowd. Now, I'm not telling you to leave him there alone to wallow in his own misery, but I want you to be really careful. They sell drugs! They do all sorts of weird things that I know aren't just rumors! Riku ran with them for a year and he didn't come out the same way he went in and I just don't want that to happen to you too, okay?'

Roxas nodded, not even caring that Sora couldn't see him. "Okay Sora. I'm going to stay the night with him, just to make sure he's okay. I'll come home after school tomorrow okay?"

"Okay Roxas… Love you!"

Roxas chuckled. God, Sora was just really gay sometimes. "Love you too, cuz." He hung up and returned to Axels room.

Spotting the redhead curled on the floor, he dropped to his knees next to him. "Axel… What can I do for you?" Roxas asked softly. He wanted to help Axel but wasn't totally sure how. Axel unfurled himself and grabbed Roxas, holding the blond like a teddy bear.

"Just… Just let me hold you. Please…" Roxas heard Axel whisper. The blond felt his friend's breath ghosting over his skin as he was squeezed tightly. He fell asleep watching Axel squeezing his eyes shut while the tears leaked through them.

He woke up at to the sound of Axel talking harshly to someone on the phone. Roxas vaguely heard something about coke and 47's? He couldn't be bothered to really care. Sitting up, he realized he had been tucked into a soft bed with fluffy blankets. He sat where he was, unwilling to leave the cocoon of warmth until Axel came to kick him out. He ignored the muffled voice on the other side of the wall and was content to snooze where he was. When Axel finally came in, Roxas noticed he was a little pissed.

To try to take away from Axel's irritation, Roxas spoke up. "So… What time is it?"

8. Axel

When Axel's tears finally dried, he removed himself from Roxas. He smiled when he saw that the smaller boy had fallen asleep. He got up, careful to not disturb Roxas too much, then placed the blond in his own bed. He debated about getting into bed with him or not, then decided against it. He figured that might seem too forward and he really didn't want to scare the blond off, if he hadn't done so already. They hadn't even known each other for twenty-four hours and he had already sobbed all over him. He grabbed an extra blanket and stole two pillows off his bed and settled down on the floor. Plugging his phone it to charge, he laid back and fell asleep.

A few hours later, his eyes flew open as he heard his phone go off. He silenced it then checked the screen. It was 6am. And a call from Xemnas. The last thing he wanted to do was answer. But he had a job to do, so he slid his them across the screen and answered.

"It's six in the morning. What the fuck do you want?" Axel complained. He sounded like he was croaking; his voice was raspy and thick with sleep.

'I need you to finish Larxene's job,' Xemnas commanded through the phone. 'It will be easier for you. After all, we're after Rufus Shinra this time. Your brother knows him, right? Get information. We need him on our side.'

Hearing that, Axel got up and left the room. He didn't want to wake Roxas up. "What do you mean?" he bit out carefully.

'I mean that Rufus Shinra is the new chief of police. We had the last one nice and oiled up with bribes and women. Shinra is an enigma to us right now. We need to know what his price. Men or women, boys or girls, money, food, things. I need to know what it will take to get him under my thumb.'

"Wait. This was what Larxene was working on? Shit, how did she get hurt then?!" Axel's voice got louder. He was angry now. Larxene could take care of herself. Could this new chief of police really be that dangerous?"

'She got confident. She got caught. Some officer shot her and she tried to escape from the roof. She then fell, breaking her femur. She should have been more careful.' Xemnas' voice was even, as if he didn't care. That pissed Axel off more than anything.

"You know what. Fuck you. Fuck that. Find someone else to do it."

Axel hung up the phone, still fuming silently. He returned to his room and closed the door behind him softly. His head jerked up when he heard Roxas speak.

"So… What time is it?"

Axel forced his frustrations to the side, wiping the look of anger off his face. He plastered on a smile before replying with a sheepish grin, "A little past 6am. You can go back to sleep if you want. We don't have to go anywhere until 7:30." He then watched as Roxas stretched and got out of bed with small hesitation. He smiled, knowing his bed was very warm and soft and six in the morning and probably hurt a little to leave. "Did you sleep well? For well… The two hours you did sleep?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah. I feel great," Roxas replied, a yawn punctuating his sentence. "It just feels really cold and your bed was really warm…" He looked to Axel with a small smile. "Well now that I'm up, I'm up. Do you mind me asking what you were talking about on the phone?"

"Just my boss. I'm not too happy with him right now, but that's nothing new. He's trying to get me to finish a job, and I will, but not any time soon. I want to make sure Larxene is okay…" Axel said with a tight smile. He honestly didn't like the girl, but seeing her okay would give him the strength he needed to go through with the work. Once she was okay, they'd be invincible again.

He smiled when Roxas nodded in solemn understanding. I guess he knows what its like to need to feel strength from an outside source. Axel was almost sad to think it, but he was glad Roxas understood. "But if we've got time, The Sand Lot is actually open. They usually sell coffee this early in the morning, but I could always go for more sea-salt ice cream. You want to head over? By the time we're done eating, it'll be time for classes to start."

"That actually sounds pretty good. I could go for some coffee, too!" Roxas agreed with a wide smile. He shuffled around to find his shoes while Axel did the same. Once they were both fit to leave the house, they took the leisurely five-minute walk to the Sand Lot. The man working the mornings was a college student and Axel had to commend his ability to be awake this early in the morning. From what he heard from Xigbar, college involved late nights and long hours. Being awake before noon was a feat to be applauded.

They finished their ice cream and coffee right as they reached the school. It was 7:30 by now and some of the early risers were making their way to school. He spotted Zexion dragging a half asleep Demyx up the street. He greeted them with a chuckled and the four boys made their way to class.

Cole's absence during the day was easily noticed. The rumors started flying as soon as Axel sat in first period Calculus without her next to him. A quick glare silenced the immediate whispers, but the cell phones were already out and fingers were tapping away, sending the school's rumor mill into full speed. Axel sighed. His temper was getting shorter and shorter as the day went by. By the time lunch rolled around, he was prepared to spend it recharging by joking with Demyx. But his plans were completely destroyed.

Xemnas paid their lunch spot a visit. Axel was only thankful that Sora and Riku whisked Roxas away for that hour.

"Eight, you have a job to do. What are you doing here?" Xemnas demanded. His voice held an edge of anger that was betraying his calm façade.

That was it for Axel. He couldn't handle anything more that day. He stood up slowly. The air around him seemed to burn with the energy coursing through his body. He was hot. He was angry. He burst, switching to Spanish, the language he first taught. One that he had only ever used to scream at his mother as she was beating him.

"How. Dare. You. How dare you? She is a mother. She is a WIFE. SHE WAS SEVENTEEN. WE'RE ALL SO FUCKING YOUNG. HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO DO THE JOBS SO MANY ADULTS THIRTY YEARS OLDER THAN US CAN'T? HOW CAN YOU TELL ME TO SPY ON MY OWN BROTHER? HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT A NEW MOTHER WOULDN'T GET HASTY ON THE JOB SO SHE COULD COME HOME TO HER BABY? WHAT MAKES THAT RIGHT? SO YOU KNOW WHAT. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND TO. I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT," Axel screamed. He continued muttering profanity as he gathered his things and walked off campus. He hadn't even realized that he had been speaking the wrong language.

Once he was back on the streets, he ran back to the apartment. He flew into his room, turned on his laptop, plugged his headphones in, put them in, pressed play, and started drowning the world out.