I couldn't help myself…I tried, but I just couldn't. Before I knew it, I was doing the touchdown dance proclaiming about how I was going to go to Disney World. Had these guys been somewhat gracious and friendly throughout this little game…I would have definitely done the hand shake..good game routine, but come on…we deserved to gloat.
While Maggie ran over to taunt the shit out of Tyler in front of all of his friends, I noticed Reid stood silent and still staring at the pool table with the stick still in his hand. I walked over and pulled the stick from him, I guess he was in a trance…he almost lost his balance.
"Easy baby…you don't want to take a tumble on the floor, you have a show to put on." I smiled at him…secretly I was just unpatiently waiting to see this boys body.
He grinned and circled around me.
"You know, Christine…" He started as he pushed my hair off of my shoulders "…If you wanted to see me naked, we could have just gone out to my car. As a matter of fact, we still can. Fuck this little charade, you and I both know what this was all about." Damn, was he trying hard to get out of his end of the deal.
"You're right, we can do that…and even if I was willing to let you off the hook, I don't think they will be as sympathetic." I said and motioned over to the crowd of girls circled around the stage, getting singles for a 10 at the bar.
"City girl…you got evil in you, I sense it." He whispered, then headed towards his friends.
"Yo Mags…lets get this party started" I grabbed her hand and we headed towards the DJ Booth.
"Hey Mr. DJ…I got a very special request to make" Maggie said as she stepped into the DJ booth to get a good view…I however decided to go on the stage with them…someone has to make sure these 2 don't make a run for it.
Minutes later "I Touch Myself" started to play and the girls went wild.
I looked towards Reid and Tyler whos supposed best friends were pushing them towards the stage making sure they don't try anything funny…at least I had some back up.
As soon as they got close enough, I grabbed both their hands and pushed them forward…there was no going back from here.
'I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me '
Tyler was actually a lot more outgoing than anyone thought…he took his shirt off, swung it out into the crowd and rocked his pelvis like a modern day Elvis…all while singing along!!!
Reid has yet to take off a piece of clothing…he was moving his body a little bit, his back facing the crowd…this was NOT the arrangement!!
I jumped up and pulled him to the side.
"Are you really going to let your friend over there show you up?? He looks like a god damn Chippendales dancer and your rocking back and forth like it's the fucking kumbaya song" I yelled at him
"Look, there is no way I'm about to strip down on this stage singing this God awful song in front of all these girls…I'm just not doing it!!"
Okay, so I had one of two options. I either physically force the clothes off of his body, which might be a challenge since he towers over me OR I compromise.
I took a deep breath, almost in awe of myself for what I was about to do.
"Ok fine…what if I do it too?"
He grinned and looked me up and down once again.
"You don't have to undress me with your eyes anymore sicko, I said I'll do it…but you have to make the first move…oh, and we split the pot 50/50"
With that, he walked back on over the center of the stage and ripped off his shirt like a champion. The girls went wild and the dollars went flying.
'I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no'
He looked back at me smiling and gestured for me to head over to him…I think this was my cue.
Just then, a waitress walked buy with a round of shots in her tray…I grabbed one and downed it…it was now or never.
'I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me'
And there I was in my lacy Victorias Secret push up, on stage in this random bar with two random guys I JUST met…mom would be so proud.
A quick look in the dj booth, I noticed Mags take a sip of her drink and spit it back out, Oh good Lord what am I doing???
'A fool could see
Just how much I adore you'
Oh what the fuck…I'm here already, might as well just go for it.
I dropped to my knees right in front of Reid and swung my hair around like I was some 80's video honey on the top of a muscle car.
'I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you'
Tyler was all the way down to his boxers at this point, he had his own little fan club of girls who eyes were glued to him. This kid was freak, exhibitionist…I don't know what you want to call him but he was certainly enjoying himself.
Now, for times like this…wearing track pants that button up the sides is an opportunity you don't pass up, and luckily, Reid didn't.
He finally came to terms with what he was doing and seconds later ripped those pants off like he had done it a million times before, and once it again it started to rain…MONEYYY
The remainder of the song was just plain fun and craziness. I refused to take off my jeans, I was still somewhat of a lady!!
But it didn't really matter at that point, Reid and Tyler definitely help up their end of the deal.
I conspicuously headed back towards where my shirt was laying on the floor, this was their moment to shine.
I wasn't very successful. I felt hand snake around my waist and pull me back into the spotlight.
From the look Reid and Tyler were BOTH giving me, I think the end of the song was going to be all me.
Tyler handed over the mic for what was about to be my first public fake orgasm…
'I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch myself
Ooh, Oooh, Ooooh, Aaaaaaaaah'Now I KNOW that you have all heard the song, and I ALSO KNOW you have all sang your little hearts out to that part, so get that grin off your faces.
We finished out the rest of the song like true champions, as if we were dancing in front of a mirror in the privacy of our own bedrooms.
I think Tyler was giving some girl a lapdance towards the end actually.
The three of us took a bow, gathered our things…well I gathered my shirt, some of their stuff was still in the crowd being fought over by horny girls…and we went back down to civilization.
Maggie was in front of me quicker than I thought humanly possible, hysterical laughing to the point of tears. Same went for the guys friends. Please Lord, please tell me someone video taped this, it's definitely one of those pause, rewind, playback moments.
"Thank God for modern day technology" Pogue yelled waving his phone in air.
After a few minutes, the crowd calmed down back to normal and all of us crowded around Pogue's phone laughing uncontrollably.
Ipswich was a hell of a lot more fun than I could have ever imagined.