Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw

by Go Away Olivia

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also, he might just make friends with people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it. But that's a hard might.

4. Chapter 4

Jason woke up feeling more rested than he'd felt in ages, and by the looks of Roy and Kori, they were feeling the same.

"Man, I feel great!" Roy declared cheerfully. "How is that even possible? I didn't think any of us would be sleeping for a week!"

"Don't get used to it," Jason told him. "We had a visitor last night. J'onzz sat in on us and gave us a reprieve, but I think we're on our own from here on out."

"That was nice of him," Kori said, stretching cheerfully. "I feel magnificent."

Jason snorted, amused. Another League member was manning the infirmary today. Jason didn't know her, nor did he particularly care to. She'd given them the rundown of their conditions and let them know both he and Roy would be free to leave the infirmary tomorrow. Which just meant free to be shunted off to a prison somewhere in Jason's mind. Free to leave did not mean fully healed, so it's not like he'd be able to mount a proper escape.

Dinah joined them quickly after they woke up. She was a mom, older sister and sponsor all rolled into one for Roy, and therefore Jason was grateful to her, despite her ties to the Bats. Jason never had a problem with her, though he was less sure of her stance on him. He doubted she viewed him too highly, given the fact she was best friends with Barbara. Especially after the conflicts between Jason and the family following his return to Gotham.

She went straight to Roy when she came in, hugging his shoulders and kissing his forehead and cheeks over and over again while he fussed and waved his arms about, but never once pushed her away. Then she turned to Kori, telling her she was glad to see her alright, and then she turned her gaze on Jason, who met it head on. Never let it be said Jason Todd didn't rise to a challenge.

"Hood," she greeted. Jason wasn't sure whether or not she knew his real name, but given the fact that she knew Bruce Wayne was Batman, there was a good chance she'd picked up a paper and realized Bruce's new ward was running around playing as Robin. "I'm glad to see you're no longer crazy."

Jason cast her a smirk, "Don't sell me short, Canary. I'm always crazy. Now it's just my own crazy and not the Pit's."

She rewarded him with a small twitch of her lips, "Guess you were always kind of crazy, huh? It takes one hell of a crazy twelve-year-old to see the Batmobile and decide to jack the tires."

Roy choked and spluttered while Kori laughed delightedly. Jason grinned wide, still absolutely unrepentant after all this time.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Roy asked when he could speak again.

Dinah nodded, still smirking. "Yep. And from what I heard, he got three of them before he got caught."

Roy and Kori laughed more while Jason outright grinned. "Yep. Got caught coming back for the fourth one. He was so surprised. Couldn't believe anyone would dare, I think. Tied me up, threw me in the trunk, and carted me back to the Cave."

"Oh my god, that's great," Roy said, still laughing.

Of course Bruce regretted it later, Jason thought, but didn't say. His grin dimmed a little bit thinking about it. Even the good memories were tainted by everything that happened, he thought, frustrated.

"A year ago, I think I would have decked you," Dinah spoke, distracting him from the bitter turn of his thoughts.

"A year ago I would have shot you for it," he retorted.

"You saying you wouldn't take a shot at me now if I punched you in the face?" Dinah challenged.

Jason shrugged, "Okay, you caught me. But I'd aim just to clip you, and you'd probably dodge."

She smirked again before speaking, "Well, I know about the Pit now, and even if I didn't, you saved Roy and he's talked about you a lot over the past year. I know how much you've helped him with everything. So thank you. I owe you one."

"I'll be calling that in now then, thanks," Jason said, sitting up straight, suddenly all business. "Don't tell the Bats," he said firmly. "Not Batman, not even Oracle. And you," he said, pointing at his teammates. "No one tells Nightwing or Red Robin either. Under no circumstances are they or anyone involved with them allowed to know my business."

Kori and Roy nodded and Canary checked, "You sure?"

"Absolutely. That part of my life is over. Whatever connection I had to them is cut. They don't have the right and I don't have the right to know about their business," he spoke firmly.

"Okay," Dinah said, surprisingly accepting. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," he replied, surprising himself by his own sincerity.

She nodded and said, "You know, I get it. The whole Red Hood thing. I know people think you're crazy for it—that they think it's some sort of deranged trauma. But it's not. You took control of it, made it your own instead of letting him control you."

He was surprised by the acknowledgement. "I doubt Batman sees it that way."

Canary snorted, "Yeah, because he's a picture of mental and emotional health."

That startled a chuckle out of Jason, "Ain't that the truth."

Dinah smiled and was about to add more but was interrupted by the sudden entrance of Superman.

"Good morning. How are you all feeling?" he asked, full of sympathy, and Jason hated the idea that Superman now knew almost every awful moment in all of Jason's life simply for the fact that Superman was looking at him like that.

"Peachy," Jason replied. "Thanks to J'onzz."

"Dreamless sleep," Roy added. "We could use him around all the time."

Superman nodded understandingly. "It's a coveted talent."

"So what's the verdict, Supes?" Jason asked, almost pure bravado. He felt rather sick at the prospect of hearing his sentence. He hoped it wasn't Arkham. Put him in Blackgate. It'd still be hell, but he wasn't crazy. Anymore. He didn't belong in the ranks of the Joker, the Scarecrow, and the Riddler.

"You're cleared of charges, but are on a probationary status. Don't kill anyone and you'll be fine," Superman told him easily.

Jason blinked, completely uncomprehending. "What the fuck?" he finally managed.

"Are you serious?" Roy said, looking like he was about to jump out of his bed. Black Canary shoved him back down.

Superman gave Jason a look that was full of far too much emotion for Jason to feel remotely comfortable with. "Son, I know it's hard for you to imagine, but not everyone in the world is against you. The things that happened to you were unspeakable. You deserve this chance. Your entire life may have been a war, but not anymore. This is where your life finally turns around so take this opportunity to make something for yourself. Build the life you want to have, and don't kill anyone. Not because you don't believe in it, it's okay if you don't right now, but to give yourself the chance to build a life for you and no one else."

"I'm not a boy scout, Superman. I'm going to screw up. That's what I do," Jason told him seriously.

Superman shook his head. "You don't have to be perfect. Just don't kill anyone. For you. Not to spare the lives of criminals. Do this for you. You deserve this chance. You deserve a life."

It was the first time the killing thing had ever been presented to him in this way. With Bruce, with Dick, with everyone, it was don't kill because it's not right. Jason could never really buy that even when he'd been a twelve-year-old brat trying to be the best Robin ever. That's not what Superman was saying. Don't kill so that he could live a life. A real life without fear of the police, or Batman, or the Justice League hunting him down. A life un-hunted. A life.

Jason felt his throat thicken and he blinked quickly, forcing the moisture gathering in his eyes back. "Yeah. Okay."

Superman nodded, still looking solemn, but also looking pleased. "I know how stubborn Batman can be," Superman said, and Jason knew that if they were the only two people in the room, they'd be calling him Bruce and discussing him as Jason's father. Jason suddenly felt grateful for the audience and the chance to pretend it wasn't any deeper than a hero/sidekick relationship. Jason couldn't handle any of the father/son stuff. "I know you're furious with him. I understand why. But I don't want you to think that just because you and Batman are at odds, you don't have anyone on your side. Anything you need, you can come to me, okay? You're not alone, alright?"

It was too emotional—too touchy feely. Jason desperately needed to deflect or make a joke or something.

"Didn't take the dying thing well, huh?" he said, attempting humor. It fell kind of flat.

Besides, Superman wasn't the joking type. Not when he thought there was someone who needed saving. Boy scout. "I didn't take any of it well, Hood," he said softly.

Jason let his shoulders sag, defeated. "Yeah, okay. Thanks for the sympathy and help and whatever and I'll call you if I'm dying again or something," he grumbled, vastly uncomfortable.

For whatever reason, this did cause Superman to crack an amused smile. "Glad to hear it. I know you'll hate hearing this, but I can see him in you. You share similarities. All of you do really, but you share different ones than Nightwing or Red Robin or Robin.

Jason made a vastly displeased face and Superman outright laughed. "That expression right there. You could be Batman right now."

Jason lost patience. "Okay, stop it. You're being awful. I accepted your kindness now show some mercy and leave me alone."

Superman laughed merrily and squeezed Jason's shoulder. "I'll come to see you before you go."

Jason just grunted in response and sulked as Superman left the infirmary.

"Okay," Roy said, not missing a beat. "Explain."

Jason took both hands and dragged them down his face, taking care not to dislodge the domino mask he wore when not wearing the red hood. "When the Martian Manhunter severed the connection to the Planet Eater, it caused a rebound effect, showing MM everything I relived while connected to the Planet Eater. MM and Superman had a mind link going on when it happened, so everything rebounded onto Superman too."

"And now Superman is treating you like a cold, wet puppy who needs to be taken home and cuddled until warm and properly fed," Roy realized, grinning wide. "Oh that's fantastic, Jaybird. That's going to come in super hella handy, you do realize that, right?"

"Shut up, Harper," Jason grumbled unhappily.

"He called you son," Kori added unhelpfully.

"He wants to be your new daddy," Roy fairly crowed. "You're going to be adopted into the Super Family!"

"You're awful. Both of you," Jason snapped.

Black Canary looked immensely amused. "Congratulations, Hood. In all honesty I'm very happy for you. What will you do?"

Jason frowned a little, looking at Koriand'r and Roy. They were rested, but it was a temporary thing. He could see the shadows lurking behind their eyes. They had broken bones that needed to heal, but more importantly, they'd need time to overcome the trauma. Kori was handling it well so far, but she tended to have delayed reactions to emotional things. Now that they were safe and there was no worry about Jason going to prison, it'd slowly sink in until she realized she'd had to relive all the torture and experimentation she'd gone through as a kid. She would need to go somewhere she felt untouchable. Perhaps she could stay at the Watchtower. And Roy needed to be close to his sponsors. He needed to be in a positive, stable environment until he was steady. Dinah would take him in. Dinah would be there for him, whether or not Queen continued to be a jackass. Dinah would take care of him.

"I think we need a sabbatical," he decided, looking at his teammates. "Four months. Probably more."

Koriand'r nodded, "I agree."

But Roy was frowning. "A sabbatical?"

"It's going to take at least two months for the broken bones that all three of us have," Jason pointed out sensibly. "And the other part will be worse. I don't think we need to be focused on work while we deal with it. It's not going to help. I speak from experience here. You just end up worse. So yeah. I think we need a sabbatical. Four months, six months, something like that."

Dinah nodded, "I completely agree." Roy looked at her startled and she said, "I'm an acting counselor now, and I think Hood is right. You all need to take time and heal physically, mentally, and emotionally. And I think you'd be best off doing that somewhere you feel safe. Somewhere familiar. Starfire, where would you like to go?"

"I think I'd like to stay here for a while," she said. "Several members of the Titans are here and I still have a room from when I was living here. I'll take trips to Earth, but I feel safe here."

Dinah nodded and turned to Roy, "Roy, you can choose where you go, but if you'd like, I'd love it if you came to stay with me. I've missed you and I think it'll be good for you to be back in Star City on your own terms for a bit. It was your home, and I think you need to take that back. You shouldn't let Oliver run you out of a city that's just as much yours as it is his."

"You really think so?" Roy asked cautiously, but Jason knew him and could see the cautious excitement. Roy loved Dinah and he'd been separated from her for too long. He could do with some mothering.

"Yeah, I do. I know we talk pretty frequently, but it's not the same. I've got plenty of room at my place and it'll be nice to be a family again."

"She's right," Jason found himself saying. "It's your home. You shouldn't let that asshole keep you out of it."

"Funny you should say that," Dinah remarked, setting Jason immediately on edge.

"What?" he asked, turning to Dinah suspiciously. Kori and Roy watched curiously.

"You know how I said I'd have decked you a year ago? Yeah well, that conversation you just had with Superman was a goldmine of information. So not only was it all the Lazarus Pit, but whatever Superman saw has gotten him to the point where he feels so protective of you that he's willing to take your side against Batman. So I'm thinking you have every right to be in Gotham. It's your home as much as it was mine. As much as Star City is Roy's. And you shouldn't let him keep you out of your home."

Roy was looking at him with a wide grin, and Jason looked from his gleeful expression to Dinah's challenging one and immediately swore. "Fuck."

"Where would you go if you don't go to Gotham?" Black Canary asked.

Jason shrugged, immensely uncomfortable. "I thought I'd travel some."

"That means a week or two here, a week or two there, Hood," Kori scolded him, very obviously displeased. "That is not at all stabilizing."

Dinah nodded her agreement as Roy said, "She's right."

"So your idea is that I go back to Gotham?" Jason protested. "Batman and Nightwing and Red Robin and Bat-Brat? Back to that Gotham? That's supposed to be stabilizing for me? That's your brilliant idea?"

Black Canary was undaunted. "From what I can tell, that's where you found yourself again, Hood. And it's your home. Those of us from Gotham? It doesn't leave us. And yeah, maybe you'll leave for good one day, but you haven't made your peace with it yet. So either go back and claim your home and rebuild your life, or go back, make peace with it, and go find your new home. Either way you need to go back."

Jason dragged his hands down his face again, "What the actual fuck? I can't believe this shit. This is fucking ridiculous. How the fuck did we end up here?"

"I'll tell you exactly how, Jaybird," Roy shot back before putting on his "Jason face" and speaking in a low voice, "Hey Roy, Kori, there's some weirdass readings coming from the Arctic Circle. Sounds fun, huh? Maybe we'll see some penguins. What do you mean there's not penguins at the Arctic Circle? Okay, well maybe there's polar bears. Come on, it'll be fun. Hey Roy, Kori, I think we're going to have to save the planet. Hey Roy, Kori we're going to stall the Planet Eaters. Try to be enticing." Roy said, finishing his impression. Kori was nodding along sagely and Dinah was snickering and not even bothering to disguise the fact.

"I fucking hate you," Jason growled at his best friend.

Roy was unapologetic as usual. "All because you wanted to see some fucking penguins. You think you would have gotten sick of them in your Robin days."

"Shut up, Harper," Jason grumbled, crossing his arms like an actual child.

"Just saying," Roy replied. "You asked, I answered. Now, I'll make you a deal."

"What?" Jason asked, instantly suspicious.

"I'll go back to Star City with Dinah if you go back to Gotham."

Jason stiffened immediately, "That's fucking unfair, Harper."

"When did we ever fight fair?" Roy challenged.

"That was kind of the whole point of the Outlaws, was it not?" Kori agreed.

"You're both awful and I hate you."

"Do we have a deal?"

"God. Fine. I hate you."

"Yes!" Roy declared, throwing his hands up in victory.

Jason scowled.

"It'll be good for you, Hood. Trust me," Canary said. "You want me to give Babs a heads up?"

"Fuck no. The earlier request still stands."

She shrugged. "Alright, if that's how you want it."

Jason groaned and leaned back on his bed. "This is going to be a goddamned shit show. Fuck."