Author's note: Reviews are like Rebel victories.
The next morning, Rey shook him awake. She was already dressed. "Hey sleepy, you feeling well enough to go for a little adventure?"
He looked around. So it wasn't a dream. Ben sat up, then flopped back down, holding his head. The room was spinning.
"I guess that's a no. Okay, well I'm going to see if I can find us some food."
She cheerfully flounced out of the room.
Ben lay there and just took in everything that had happened. It was strange not waking up in space. He was used to stale filtered air, not humid air that positively thrummed with life. Even on his travels with his parents… oh Maker. His father. He gasped, rolling over and clutching the sheets. "Just come home…" he had said. And he had killed him, believing he would find peace. Snoke had promised that was the way to bring silence to his ghosts… that all he needed to do was truly embrace the darkness. But it had not worked. He had just been more torn. For no matter how many planets he blew up, he still felt the call to the light. He had tried being a Jedi. He had tried being a Sith. There was no answer. Despair rolled through him in waves. He shook uncontrollably. Thousands dead. He had not really wanted to kill them, but Snoke had promised silence, promised peace. But Rey… Rey had said, "We'll be just us. Ben and Rey." What had she meant? Maybe… just maybe there was hope after all. Despite this thought, he still felt his past mistakes running through his head over and over again, like an endless loop. Finally, he grew exhausted. But then, just as sleep began to creep up on him again, he could feel the pain from the droid, injecting him with those drugs that made every electrical shock worse. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted Rey to come back. He spiraled further and further, until he was nothing but a quaking mess, shuddering violently.
"Ben," came Rey's panicked voice through the bond, "what's happening?"
He was too much of a disaster to respond. Ten minutes later she rushed in, throwing bags to the ground. She ran over, looking at his face. "Ben? Ben? What's wrong?"
Ben gasped. "Rey… help me..."
She sat on the bed and cradled his head, stroking his hair. "Tell me what's wrong Ben."
"I can feel them… the ghosts… and the pain, all the pain…"
Rey continued stroking his head. Ben was reminded of the way his mother used to do the same when he couldn't fall asleep.
Rey laughed softly. "Already comparing me to your mother?"
Now that she was touching him, he begin to feel calm again. He could feel her light flowing through the bond, replacing the regret and pain, the dark emptiness.
"Ben, what you did was wrong, but you're not going to be that person anymore. You were desperate, desperate. I can still feel that desperation. You thought you had to choose the light or the dark. You know, one of the last things Luke told me," she paused, seeing Ben unsettled.
He looked away, feeling a stab of guilt at this, thinking of his saber burning in his uncle's middle, the look of peace on Luke's face as he closed his eyes and crumpled on the ground.
"He told me that there was another way. He told me that he had been wrong, that it was time for both the Jedi and the Sith to end. That the way to ballance was not with a Jedi takeover, but for people to accept that they were neither dark or light, they were grey."
Ben looked at her, surprised at his uncle's words.
"I can help you, Ben. Help you balance yourself. I'm going to stay with you."
He moved away a bit, embarrassed at his breakdown. She let him.
"What do you want from me, Rey?"
"I just want to be here with you. You and I are so alike. We are lost stars in the galaxies who have collided with the help of the force. We were brought together for a reason."
Ben just stared her for a while, taking her words in.