DISCLAIMER: I don't own most of these characters, but the story is all mine :D
I really didn't have to wait too long, though it felt like an eternity. Maybe an hour at most. I actually didn't mind. I was able to look at Bella and study her without embarrassment. I noticed that her skin looked like it normally did...pale but with a tinge of pink. She still looked tired, with dark smudges hiding behind her lashes under her eyes. The bruises were still visible, but now fading.
I was sitting, admiring the view. Actually completely entranced by her plump kissable lips. Those lips opened and sighed, then she moaned. Her small tongue darted out and moistened her lips. Ahhh that tongue. Eyelashes fluttering, her eyes slowly opened and those lovely brown orbs pinned me in place. Her eyes really were amazing.
"Did I lose the baby?" She whispered. That's good. She knows where she is, and why she's here. No beating around the bush. Straightforward and direct.
"I don't know! They won't tell me anything, but based on the amount of blood you lost and that they had to do emergency surgery on you, I would say, probably, yes." I looked at her, concerned that this would cause her more pain. But nothing. No emotion crossed her face or eyes. This surprised me. I could read her so easily, her eyes so expressive most of the time, but for some reason, she could shut it all down, and hold it in and not share. She did this when I had gone to tell her about Jacob. Hmmm...
She just nodded, then looked around the room. I was still holding her hand and squeezed it unconsciously. Her eyes came back to mine, then looked down at our entwined fingers, then swung but up, searching my face.
"Do you want anything? The nurse? I should let them know that you are awake." Why did I feel so self-conscious? I pushed the button to call for the nurse.
While we waited, Bella and I just stared into each others eyes, neither of us blinking, or looking away. I felt such a deep connection with her.
I was surprised when my father came in the room with the nurse.
"What can I do for you, sweetie?" The nurse asked, as she walked over and raised the head of the bed.
"Can I have some water? I'm really thirsty." Bella said softly. A whisper with no volume.
"Sure thing! I will be back with that in a jiffy. If there is anything you need, just press the red call button." She smiled at Bella than me as she walked away. When she had come in earlier to remove the oxygen mask, she had looked at me with sympathy, and acted like I was Bella's husband. I hadn't disabused her of that idea. I felt so close to Bella, such a connection. I wouldn't mind, maybe one day, holding that place in her life.
My father stood near the door this whole time with Bella's chart. "Mrs. Black," Did he stress the Mrs. part? My dad kept giving me the stink eye. "I'm Dr. Cullen, the doctor handling your case. I need to examine you and discuss what's going on." Again, the look to me, almost like I was something slimy and disgusting. "Would you like for Edward to leave?" Now his eyes glanced down and he noticed our clasped hands. As he looked back at my face, he raised an eyebrow at me. Shit, I had some explaining to do.
"It's Bella, please, and no, if Edward doesn't mind, he can stay." Still no volume there. She still seemed so small and lost, in the big hospital bed, unsure of herself. It seemed wrong that the confident, bright girl I had gotten to know, could seem so fragile...so beaten down.
"Okay. Well first of all. I need to know who beat you." Again my father's eyes looked to me, then back to Bella. did he think I did this? That I was capable of beating a women? I was getting angry. I almost missed her answer.
"M-my l-l-late h-husband, J-J-Jacobb B-Black." She whispered and stuttered as her body shuddered. "I-It wasn't t-the f-first time either, b-but p-probably the worst. N-Normally I would f-flatten his ass when he tried this shit on me, but he took me by surprise...and I couldn't d-defend myself." She had stuttered through this whole statement. Her emotions flickering across her face, fast and furious. Fear, hate, pride, fear and hate again. "He...he tripped me and when I was on the ground...he duct-taped my hands together. He then taped me to the leg of the couch in our living room. I couldn't escape. I couldn't get away. I w-was helpless. I couldn't defend myself or p-protect myself." Her lips were trembling, but still no tears. More emotions flickered in her eyes, pain, and finally defeat. Complete and utter defeat.
I had known that the bastard had beat her, but I didn't realize to what lengths he had gone to do so, in order to be able to take her down, and harm her. I wished in that moment that Jacob Black was still alive, so that I could give him a beat down, like he did to his tiny wife, and see how he liked it. I was glad he was gone though. I had a sudden epiphany. Maybe Jake had felt guilty about what he had done. Perhaps that was his mindset when we went to that call...that he was a bastard. The complete opposite of the hero he wanted to be. I didn't feel any sympathy for him though, he had laid down a path of destruction, and it was fitting that he paid the ultimate price for his actions.
"I...I just found out I was pregnant. I figured I was about a month along, based on the last time we had sex. He thought I cheated on him. I remember the night that I think I conceived. He had come home very drunk. He was shouting when he came in...climbed into bed and just...well you know. It was over quickly, and then he passed out on top of me. I thought I was going to die, I could barely breathe and he was so heavy, but I finally managed to squirm out from under him. I realized when I got up to go to the bathroom, that he hadn't used a condom.
"God! Bella! He raped you!" I practically shouted. I pulled my hand away from her and ran it through my hair and pulled. "Why would you stay with him?" Then I placed both hands on either side of her face and stared her in the eye. "You deserve so much better than that." I couldn't help it. I pulled her into a tight hug and held her. Her arms slowly came up, and hugged me back.
"I guess I never considered it rape. He was my husband. I was his wife. A wife is supposed to make love with her husband. I...I hated sex. It was never good...it never felt right, so I always just let him do whatever he wanted, so that I could get it over with as fast as possible. I know there is something wrong with me...that it's my fault...so I never complained." She said all of this into my neck, her face buried into my chest, as I held her tightly, rocking. I looked at my dad over her head. At least he wasn't giving me dirty looks anymore. His face was full of sympathy and compassion.
Bella pulled away from me, and continued. "Jake didn't want to be a father...the father. He told me he couldn't afford to feed another mouth, and he wouldn't raise someone else's bastard child." She shrugged, her body hunching in, her arms now wrapping around herself. "We were always fighting about money, but he wouldn't let me work. I didn't really have any friends out on the Rez. All the people I knew, were Jake's friends. I was..." She trailed off. The thought left unsaid.
My dad and I shared another look. He still didn't understand where I fit into this entire scenario, and I guess I couldn't blame him, but I hadn't done anything but support Bella, and try to be a friend to her...so far.
Finally my dad broke in. "Well actually, Bella, you were 15 weeks pregnant, approximately."
Bella looked surprised. "But I had periods. That would have been October 22. How could I not know? I had no symptoms..." She trailed off again, deep in thought. I little furrow formed between her brows as she stared off into space, thinking.
"Well it's possible that you were spotting and thought you were having a period. Not all women have all the symptoms of pregnancy, and some symptoms can easily be thought to be symptoms of your menses." My dad started to say, but was interrupted.
"No! I had periods. I bled. I had cramps. I mean I have never been real regular, but this happened every five or six weeks, and I always have bad cramps first. How?" She looked so confused.
"Well, again, Bella, the cramps, and bleeding can happen during pregnancy. Tenderness in the breast can happen in both situations as well. It has to do with the hormones. What you were assuming was your menses, was actually symptoms of pregnancy. And not just any pregnancy. Unfortunately you had, what is called an ectopic pregnancy. Do you know what that is?" Dad looked to Bella to see her response, and I did too. I was confused by his words. How is an ectopic pregnancy different from a regular pregnancy? What did that mean?
I saw her shake her head 'no' and we both turned to my dad for an explanation.
"An ectopic pregnancy is one that occurs outside of the uterus. Normally when the sperm fertilizes the egg, both are in your uterus. Once fertilized, the egg implants into the uterine lining." He paused, to make sure that she was understanding what he was saying, and she was nodding, so he continued. "Your egg was fertilized in your fallopian tube and implanted there. It's not a viable pregnancy. You're actually lucky that you miscarried. If you had gone much further in this pregnancy you could have died."
"What do you mean, 'not viable'?" Bella asked.
"When we know that we have an ectopic pregnancy, we always evacuate the fetus. There is no way the mother can survive and almost always the mother's death occurs too early in the pregnancy to be able to save the baby. The safest route, then, is to remove the fetus." Bella's head was again nodding in understanding.
"Anyway, back to you. I'm not sure if your miscarriage was due to the beating you took, and caused the rupture, or if it occurred on its own. But the pregnancy caused a strain on the fallopian tube. It's not made to support a fetus. It ruptured, which in turn caused you to hemorrhage. The reason for all the blood lose. We had to remove the fetus surgically, but there was too much damage. We also had to remove your ovary and fallopian tube. Thankfully, that went well, and your now on your way to recovery." Dad finished.
I looked from my father to Bella, and saw the absolute horror on her face. What?
"Am I sterile?" She squeaked out, her eyes filling with tears. Oh my god! Was she? Not that it would matter to me, but obviously, to a 21-year-old women, who had her whole life in front of her, it would matter. A lot. "I can never have a baby?" She was staring at my dad with an intense, pained expression. I watched as one tear...only one...escaped and trickled down her cheek. She was gasping for breath. Her face was pale again, all color washed away as her eyes filled with panic. She yanked her hand from mine and covered her face with both hands and shuddered.
"No, Mrs Black...Bella, you misunderstood me. We only had to take one of your ovaries, and the one fallopian tube. You had two. You may still be able to get pregnant, although it may be more difficult to do so. You also should know that you are at risk of having another ectopic pregnancy. You will have to take greater precautions in the future and let your regular doctor know about this, so they can keep an eye on any pregnancy that may occur."
Bella lowered her hands to her lap, and took a deep breath, nodded and stared down at her twisting fingers. I wondered what was going through her mind at that moment.
"Now, I need to take a quick look at the surgical site and make sure everything is as it should be." He walked over to the side of the bed and glanced at me again. "Perhaps you would like some privacy?" He was looking down at Bella, focused on what she wanted and needed.
I jumped up and said softly. "I will be right outside your room." Quickly I walked out the door, and stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall. My hand again pinching the bridge of my nose. I could feel a headache coming on...and a confrontation with my father. I waited for him to emerge from her room. I didn't have to wait long.
"Edward! What is your relationship with Mrs. Black?" Again with the emphasis on 'Mrs.' Worried voice and stern face confronted me.
"Dad, we're just friends. More like acquaintances. Her late husband, the infamous Jacob Black, worked for me. Today was his funeral." I was trying to explain the unexplainable. I shouldn't feel this way about her. It was too soon, too much, too...intense.
"Why are you so involved?" He asked again. I could see he was confused.
"I don't know! Okay? I'm...just...I...she..." I trailed off in frustration. "I like her okay? A lot. I know she's in a bad place right now...but...shit! There's something about her that I can't resist. I feel...protective...of her. Responsible for her." Again, frustrated I ran my hand through my mop of hair and pulled. It must be sticking up in every direction at this point.
"She's got a lot of baggage, Edward. Please go slow. Remember what happened with Tanya and how that turned out. I don't want to see you hurt again, Son." He put his arm around me in an awkward half hug. "Although I can see why you feel protective of her. She's a tiny little thing."
"Yeah, well, she can handle herself. I had wondered how Jake got the drop on her and was able to cause so much damage. It makes sense now, that he had to tie her down to do any damage." I could see the confusion on my dad's face. "Dad she's a freaking black belt...like master level. She's literally a lethal weapon. It doesn't matter who it is or how big there are, she can take them out."
The look of surprise on his face was priceless. I wish I had a camera.
"Yeah, I know. That's how I felt when she told me. I imagine that's why she did it. She could easily appear to be the victim, but she has the element of surprise on her side." I chuckled. The surprise of this tiny, 100 pound girl, not only defending herself, but beating the crap out of an attacker was just...hot. But I didn't tell my dad that.
"Listen, I'm going back in there. To be there for her." I muttered, as I brushed past him to go back into Bella's room.
"Edward! Wait. One more thing. She needs to stay with someone for a couple of days once she is released. She can't operate heavy machinery, or drive for at least a week. Does she have someone who can stay with her? A parent maybe, or a girlfriend?" he paused again, then looked at me, "Or, perhaps, seeing as you feel so responsible for her..."
"I'm not sure. You heard her in there. There isn't anyone on the Rez, that's really her friend. Everyone she knows there is associated with Jake. I know her dad is dead. I don't know about her mom. She's never mentioned her. Maybe you know." I ran my hand through my hair. "Her dad was the late police chief...Charlie Swan. I don't know what her mom's name is though."
Dad nodded. "Yeah, then her mother's dead too. Renée Swan died about 10 year ago. Charlie never recovered from that, or remarried.
"Well, I will see what I can do. Thanks Dad!" I smiled at him, as I again went to walk around him, back into the room.
As I entered through the doorway I could see the bed was back down again and the lights were dimmed to the lowest setting. Bella was on her side, facing away from the door. She was curled into a ball, her legs drawn up to her chest in a tiny little ball in the middle of the bed. Her body was shaking so hard and I could hear her soft sobs as she cried.
"Bella?" I whispered, trying not to startle her too badly. She flinched hard, and gasped. "Bella, are you okay? Do you need something?" I was frantic, was she in pain? I watched as she slowly rolled on to her back and looked up at me. Her eyes were swimming in tears, her face damp from the ones that had fallen and her nose and eyes were tinged pink.
She sniffled and then said in a small voice. "I just want to be held." She sounded like a little girl. My tough, strong girl had hit her limit...and she needed to be comforted. That was something I could do for her.
I sat on the side of the bed and pulled her into my arms, cradling her. She wiggled against my lap, causing me to grit my teeth as she rubbed her soft, sweet ass, against my growing hard-on. I wanted to be noble and good and I ended up responding like a 14-year-old virgin. But she didn't seem to notice, as she stopped wiggling, then sighed and relaxed into me. "Thank you, Edward." Her breathing slowed, and I knew that she was sleeping. I could have laid her back in the bed, but I was enjoying the chance to hold her. So I did. I bent my head and gently kissed the top of her head, over and over. Breathing in the smell of her strawberry scented hair, loving the smell. I loved the feel of her tiny body against mine, and the fact that she trusted me enough to sleep in my arms.
I held her for quite a while, but eventually I had to lay her down. As I was trying to gently place her on the bed, she stirred and moaned. "Edward, don't leave me." Then rolled over, still asleep. I carefully laid down behind her, holding her in my arms. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but the last couple of days caught up with me, not to mention how warm Bella was. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and soon was in dreamland.
The nurse woke me up a couple of hours later.
"Sir. You are not supposed to be in the bed with Mrs. Black." She reprimanded me, with a sparkle in her eye. Tsking as she checked on Bella.
I slowly removed my arm from under Bella's head, then rolled off of the bed. I didn't say anything, but just sat back down in the chair I had been sitting in earlier.
"Visiting hours are almost over, sir." The nurse reminded me, but I wasn't going anywhere. Unless they forced me. I would stay with Bella all night, if she wanted me here.
The nurse fussing and words woke Bella. She rolled over and looked around the room frantically until her eyes landed on me. Then she smiled bashfully at me. "Hi! You're still here." God! Her smile was beautiful. If made my stomach flip, and did strange things to my heart rate.
"Hi yourself." I smiled back. She wanted me here. Thank you God!
"Mrs. Black, your visitor needs to leave. Visiting hours are over." The nurse interrupted our moment.
Bella looked sad and then resigned. She sighed softly then took my hand in hers and looked deep into my eyes. "Will you come back and visit me tomorrow?" Her voice was steady, but I could see the doubt in her eyes. She wasn't sure of me. That made me sad. I wanted her to trust me.
"Of course." I reassured as I slowly stood and stretched my long frame. I noticed that both the nurse and Bella watched me, with identical looks of appreciation on their faces. I couldn't hold back my chuckle. Nice to know I still got it.
I looked deeply into Bella's eyes and then leaned over the bed, placing a quick, soft kiss to her forehead. "Get better, so we can get you out of her." As I straightened up, I gave her a wicked smile and wink. "See you in the morning." I turned and walked away, but not before noticing the look of desire that quickly flashed in Bella's eyes, and the blush that infused her cheeks. I loved how expressive her eyes were. I smiled to myself and whistled as I left the hospital. Maybe there was hope for us. Maybe someday we could be together. I was filled with hope.
Shit! I forgot to ask her if she had anyone who could stay with her once she was released. Maybe I should offer to help. But her house was so far away. Maybe she could stay at my place. That would have been a good idea, except, my house was an empty shell. I didn't even have a real bed there. A plan formed and I called Alice.
"Hello! How's Bella?" She answered on the first ring. She must have been waiting for my call...for an update. I probably should have called sooner, to let everyone know that Bella was okay.
"She's okay. She had a miscarriage." I paused, and decided I wouldn't explain the rest of it. If Bella wanted people to know about that, she could tell them. It was her business...not mine. "Ali, I need your help. Bella lives way out on the Rez, and has no family. She's gonna need to be watched and helped for at least a week. I was thinking of asking her to stay at my place...but..."
"You have no furniture." Alice finished for me and laughed.
"I definitely need a bed. She can't sleep on an air mattress. Everything else I can get later, but can you buy me a king sized bed tomorrow, and have it delivered and set up immediately. Don't worry about the cost. And I will need some bedding, and towels for the bathroom. Oh and maybe some plates and silverware...that kind of stuff. You know the basics. Can you shop for me?" I chuckled to myself. Asking Alice if she could shop, was like asking if she could breathe. Alice loved shopping.
"Of course." She said excitedly. "No problem."
"Hey, don't go too overboard. If I can convince Bella to stay with me, I will have her help me decorate and stuff." I mumbled, embarrassed to be confessing my feelings so early. I wasn't even sure if Bella would come stay with me yet.
"Ohhh... Wow! Okay Eddie. I understand. No problem." I knew I could count on Alice. She always had my back. We had always been very close, none of that stupid sibling rivalry between us. We have always been best friends.
"Is Jazz around?" I needed to take some time off of work. I realized I had a lot of vacation time accumulated. Since Tanya left me, I had stopped going on adventures, and stuck pretty close to home. I hoped to change that in the future. You were only young once, and I realized, that I had been existing, but not living. I was ready to live again.
"Yeah. Hold the phone." She must have tried to cover the speaker, but I still heard her yell. "Jazzy! Eddie needs to speak with you!" I sat there in silence, listening to the background noise, waiting.
"Yeah, Ed! What up?" Jasper asked.
"Hey! I'm gonna take a couple of days off to be with Bella. Can you manage without me at the station?" I felt a guilty flush come over me. Damn it! I had vacation time owed me, I should be able to take off when I wanted to. And no one was accusing me of anything, it was all my conscience. No one else.
"Yeah, sure! No problem, boss. I will take care of everything. You do what you have to do."
I was so grateful to have such a great brother-in-law. "Okay! Thanks! Talk to you soon." I said, then hung up.
I went home to my empty house, trying to picture Bella here. I hoped she would agree to stay here. I hoped she liked my empty shell of a home, and wanted to help me fix it up. I hoped she would never want to leave.
I walked into my bedroom and got out the little air compressor pump. I filled the air mattress up and then laid down. Hands behind my head, ankles crossed, staring at the ceiling.
My mind instantly went to Bella. To her being in my house. I remembered how she felt in my arms, the way she fit perfectly. How she smelled...so delicious. My body was responding to my thoughts, and I felt my cock spring to life. She made me feel like a horny teenager. My dick was begging for some action. I tried to ignore the feelings I was having. I wanted to do right by Bella. Every thought though, every image of her, just made me hotter...harder. Finally, I gave in. I unsnapped and unzipped my dress pants and slid them and my boxers off. Imagining Bella was doing this for me. The look on her face as she slowly unbuttoned my shirt, and ran her hands down my chest. Her lips kissing every inch of exposed flesh as she slowly undressed me.
The feel of her small hand firmly wrapped around my cock, as she stoked me, stroked...stroked...rubbing her thumb over the top of the head, rubbing my precum around the head and then stroking back down again. Her other hands grabbing and massaging my balls, tug...stroke...thumb rubbing the cum in my slit. Ahhh, my eyes closed, I could see the lust on her face as she continued to stroke my hard cock, faster, faster. "Ahhhh, shit!" I came in my hand and on my stomach. I relaxed as my body released. I needed to get laid, but only one women would do. I just couldn't get her off of my mind.
I got up and walked into the bathroom, to clean up. I studied myself in the mirror. I knew she found me attractive. Not to sound like an ass, but most women did. At 29, my body was still hard, and muscular. My muscles well-defined. I was in great shape, and at 6'4" tall, I towered over Bella. I tried to look at myself, as she may see me. My hair, was a reddish, bronze color, and it was wild and stuck out in all directions. I tried to tame it, but most of the time, it looked like someone had just run their hands through it. Alice called it sex hair. I laughed to myself, whatever, the women seemed to like it like that. My face was okay I guess. My best feature would have to be my eyes. I got them from my mom, Esmé. Deep green, like the woods surrounding this little town, but with gold flecks in them. I had a decent nose, not too big, not too little, and my mouth, well, my lips were a little fuller than most guys. My teeth were white and straight, thanks to years with braces. My chin was square and strong. I rubbed it, looking at the scruff on my face, which surprisingly was blond. I sighed, as I looked at the rest of my body. I was well endowed. I wasn't worried about my size in that department. No one has been disappointed with me, as far as I know. Not even my first time.
I thought again of Bella, as I finished up in the bathroom and went to lay back down. She was perfect. I wanted more than just sex with her. I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to know what made her tick. I wanted to know why she thought sex was bad, and teach her that it could be good. Hell! Great! She just hasn't met the right man. A considerate man. A considerate lover, to put her first, and make it good for her. I could be that man. Shit, back to sex again. Get your mind out of the gutter, Cullen! I wanted to know about her past. I just wanted to know her!
This day had been long and tiresome. Traumatic for her. She was so strong. I admired her and her strength.
I couldn't wait to see her again. To talk to her...to get to know her better. I felt such a connection to her. This wasn't just about sex, although that was part of it, I wanted to know her likes and dislikes, if she went to college, and what her hopes and dreams were, before a bullet changed her life forever. What her hopes and dreams were now. I wanted to know why she married Jacob in the first place.
There was so much I wanted to know. I couldn't wait until tomorrow so that I could see her again.
I drifted off thinking of Bella.
I woke up, still thinking of...dreaming of Bella.
I woke up pretty early the next morning. I took a quick shower, then went to the diner for breakfast. Killing time until visiting hours at the hospital.
Finally, I headed over to Forks General and headed up to room 206. There she was sitting up in bed, looking beautiful, eating her breakfast.
"Morning, Beautiful!" I said cheerfully as I walked in.
"Hey! You missed Dr. Cullen. Is he your dad?" She giggled. "Anyway, he said I was going to be released today, but that I had to stay with a friend or have someone stay with me." She looked discouraged and a little lost at this.
"Bella, I wanted to ask you to stay at my place." I said, suddenly unsure of myself. "It's not much, but it's in town. I don't have much in the way of furniture, so maybe you could help figure out what to do with it, while you recuperate..." I trailed off.
"Oh, Edward! Thank you! But it's too much. You have already done so much for me. I don't want to be a burden." Now she was blushing and looking anywhere but at me.
"Bella! It would be my pleasure to have you stay at my house. Please don't think that you are a burden. Not at all. You could never be a burden." She looked so lovely with the blush in her cheeks. Then she smiled and looked me directly in the eyes.
"I would love to stay at your house, then. And I would love to help you decorate it." She said as she lowered her eyes.
I was so turned on by that bashful look. I had to get myself under control. "Great." I was ecstatic and on cloud nine. She had agreed to stay with me. I wasn't going to waste this opportunity to get to know her better.