Art-Class-Freak: Ugly?

The-Pretty-Princess: Oh! Sai!

Art-Class-Freak: How goes it with the Uchiha?

The-Pretty-Princess: You even have to ask? Ugh.

Art-Class-Freak: Well, I've got an idea, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know.

The-Pretty-Princess: Hmm?

Art-Class-Freak: I propose a game. Of sorts.

The-Pretty-Princess: Oh-kaay … what kind of game?

Art-Class-Freak: A game to make Uchiha jealous. We'll deliberately seek to make him jealous, right? And every time one of us does something that makes him openly annoyed, we'll award ourselves ten points. I'll keep a tally. And at the end of the week, whoever has the most points has to pay for lunch or dinner on Saturday.

The-Pretty-Princess: Um…like, wow. (Why did I not meet you sooner?) But Sasuke-kun won't be jealous, you know that? He said so, and I don't know why you and Ino keep telling me he is?

Art-Class-Freak: Whatever you say, Ugly. Either way, it'll be fun to piss him off, right? He doesn't want you dating me.

The-Pretty-Princess: Mhm. You're right. Okay, I'm in!

Art-Class-Freak: Cool. You won't regret it, Ugly. Believe me.

Art-Class-Freak has signed off.

aaa

To: inobabexoxo
From: artclassfreak01
Subject: Concerning your friend

I know about what happened between Sasuke and Sakura.

Don't worry. I've got it covered. You just do your supportive friend thing.

Sai.

aaa

11/7: the wheels on the bus go round and round

You know, writing on the bus is very difficult, especially when a middle-aged guy suffering from a severe case of obesity happens to be taking up about three people's worth of space next to you.

(But you're a diary, illegibility shouldn't matter to you!)

Sai is officially a god. Seriously. It's like I died and went to heaven–or I was at least super blessed. He's trying to make me feel better, which is probably the sweetest thing someone in his position could do! Sure, he's probably a sleaze who enjoys the fact I don't regard this as a serious relationship, and that I don't mind making out with him a lot, but still. Still. It's all redundant in light of one common goal:

To bring Sasuke-kun the hell down.

So Sai seems convinced that this is a way to make him jealous, and that eventually he will snap and confess his undying love––um, no offence, but seriously. Sasuke-kun ended all my hopes of us ever getting together on Saturday. But I have been devoted to Sasuke-kun since I was about six. I am not letting him get away without exacting my revenge.

(Even if I still am in love with him. I'm trying to just, um, quit. Or, like, phase out my feelings and move on? Maybe I should join Scorned Women Anonymous?

On that note, how does one move on from somebody that they are completely in love with? Serious relationships or experiments with other guys?

Hmm.)

Oh my gosh the guy next to me kind of smells and it's going to make me puke so––

Anyway.

I am trying very, very, very hard to be pleased by the outcome of this total rejection. I got a hot boyfriend that I can basically use––with his permission, too!––for my own personal gain. I'm in power. Sasuke-kun and Sai are just my pawns. And Ino is, of course, my sidekick (more like my awesomely devoted friend who is stepping back and letting me take centre stage for once!). And Naruto is just, um, Naruto.

(Seriously.)

I could not be in a better position right now. Realistically speaking, things could've gone a lot worse. Sasuke-kun could've rejected me, and Sai could've rejected me, too, after I told him about Sasuke-kun. The fact that he didn't just goes to show how lucky I am. And, hey, pining after a stupid, moronic, chauvinistic, thick-headed, retarded, arrogant––

Somehow I think I still have anger issues with the whole thing.

Le sigh.

What do I have to do to be strong about it here?

Um. Ungrateful much?

(No wonder Sasuke-kun would never get jealous of a guy I date, and would never date me, either. I'm ungrateful! Ugh! And I just made myself seem worse than Sasuke-kun!

DIEE!)

Oooh, school.

I get to see my 'boy-toy', as Ino has affectionately dubbed him.

Love from your bitchily typical teenage master,
Haruno Sakura

DAY ONE:

"You kissed him, didn't you?" Ino greets me with this as I get to her locker.

"Who?"

"Sai!"

"Um, duh," I shake my head. "I told you, remember?"

"But you really kissed him! As in, you guys are an item now? You didn't tell me about that part!"

(Oh. Right. A fact: Yamanaka Ino knows everything about anything in this school. She always knows who's dating who, and who likes who, and who should be together with whom. The fact I didn't tell her about Sai and I is, like, a major insult to her gossiping skills. But come on! I don't want everyone in the whole universe knowing about it right now, do I?

Hmm. Actually…)

"Oh, yeah," I shrug and flash her my prize-winning smile. "Well, I was upset when I emailed you, pig! I was concentrating on Sasuke-kun. But yeah, we're an item."

Ino squeals and hugs me, grinning. "Okay! Well, then, we have to celebrate! Movie night, yeah?"

"Ooh," I bite my lip. "With cookies and cream ice-cream?"

"Duh, forehead-girl! It's tradition."

"Okay," I nod. "Movie night it is."

(Who needs boys when you have friends like Ino-pig? Life and its conundrums.)

"And Sakura! We have to make it official. Like, now."

(Oh, right. That's why.)

I shake my head vehemently. "No, pig! I don't want everyone in the whole school knowing about it just yet. I mean, it's not as if it's really––"

"Sakura, it's big news. You're a dating virgin. Sai counts as your first boyfriend. People will be interested! They like you! They'll support you!"

"But I don't––"

I pause. And blink. Rapidly.

(Consider a hypothetical situation. Miss X and Mister Y become a well-known couple throughout the school. Miss X's enemy, Mister Z, is also informed of the official nature of Miss X and Mister Y's relationship, thus being subjected to many inappropriate rumours about the duo. Mister Z will not be able to distinguish truth from rumour; therefore this will infuriate him as he firmly objects to Miss X and Mister Y's relationship. Mister Z will be the loser in the equation.

See? It's perfect.)

"Actually," my lips curve into a smirk. "Actually, Ino-pig, go right ahead."

Ino raises an eyebrow. "You have an evil look."

"Do I?" I ask airily.

"Yes, you do. That means you're up to something, darling. Pray tell?"

I shrug, continuing my awesome evil smirk. "Battle tactics," I reply.

I may not be a soldier, but I sure as hell got soul.

Sakura, do you have the answer to question four?–S.U.

Sorry, no.–Sakura

Why not?–S.U.

Firstly, I would not tell it to you even if I had it. Secondly, I hate Economics with a fiery passion rivalling that of my complete and utter hatred for um, well, you. And thirdly, I've been texting Sai, so I haven't been paying attention.–Sakura

I'm sorry that I upset you. –S.U

Well, you really don't have any right to tell me what to do.–Sakura

…I still don't think you should be dating Sai. Why are you texting him?–S.U.

We're just talking. You know, it's generally what people in relationships do. And, oh, look at the text he just sent me? Isn't that sweet?–Sakura

"Um, Sasuke-kun, are you okay? You're not answering––Sasuke-kun?"
To: artclassfreak01
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: Oh, I'm just that good

Sakura equals ten points ahead! Sasuke-kun had an anger fit in Economics courtesy of me. I sent a text to myself, pretending it was from you, and almost made him spasm.

HAHAHA!

…AHAHAHA!

I'm okay.

Really.

Out,
Sakura-chan!

P.S––the text said; 'hey there beautiful how bout we hook up after class'?

WIN!

aaa

To: prettyprincess77
From: artclassfreak01
Subject: Oh, are you, Ugly?

Damn. I need to catch up.

Ready for something reckless?

Sai.

P.S––it should've been 'ugly', not 'beautiful'. But I suppose that wouldn't have had the same effect?

To: inobabexoxo
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: Nyah-huh

Sakura has got it goin' on!

…but somehow I don't seem as satisfied by this as I should. Sasuke-kun is only getting annoyed because he doesn't want me to date Sai, and wants me to concentrate on my studies, possibly because of some misguided brotherly affection he has for me.

AND YOU KNOW WHY THAT SUCKS?

DO YOU?

Because now I feel very incestuous and insecure! I mean, that's…rejection of the worst kind!

And revenge just keeps reminding me of why it's revenge to do this stuff to him.

Ino-pig, it kind of hurts.

Out,
Sakura-chan!

P.S––on the side of non-angst, do you have any annoying-Sasuke-kun ideas that could put me ahead? Just that I kind of don't have much money right now, and if Sai wins, I have to treat him to lunch on Saturday.

UM. SAKURA-CHAN DOES NOT WANT TO DO THIS.

(Sakura-chan likes chivalry.)

To: pretty-princess77
From: inobabexoxo
Subject: Wow…ness

BABY SAKURA IS GROWING UP!

Welcome to womanhood, honey. It is very fun to be a woman. Oh yes.

(Minus the whole baby-making thing. Eck.)

UM. HOLD THE PHONE.

Sasuke? Brotherly? You?

…you made me go to a very bad image-land, I'll have you know! It is terrifying to even debate the possibilities of that. Believe me, Sakura, Sasuke has no platonic feelings for you in any way whatsoever. At least––and when I say least, I mean the very bare minimum––he just regards you as a normal friend.

Okay?

Okay.

(NO MORE BAD IMAGES!)

I know it hurts. You think Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom would cheer you up? (I'll bring Pirates of the Caribbean over! See you in an hour, yeah?)

Hugs and kisses,
Ino

P.S––make out with Sai heavily against Sasuke's locker. IT IS A MUST.

I COMMAND YOU DO IT. Nooow. (Or, well, when you're at school.)

"Orlando is so hot!"

"I know! Hotter than Sasuke-kun, even!"

"Definitely … mhm, sexy man candy… hotter than Sai?"

"Oh! Yesss!"

"I thought so. I knew it. Doesn't this make you feel better?"

"Um, no. Now I kind of hate Kiera Knightley… making out with two freakishly hot guys!"

"Soon that will be you, Sakura m'dear."

"Haha! Very funny!"

"Who said I was joking?"

To: UchihaS
From: foxydemon
Subject: UGH, YOU ARE DUMBB

Have you apologised to Sakura-chan yet? YOU BETTER HAVE OR I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY UCHIHA ASS, PRETTY BOY!

She's acting very weird lately. Today at school she gave me a huge smile and said "Hi, Naruto-kun!" and hugged me, completely ignoring you. Usually it's the other way around. Um, hell, it couldn't have been that bad, could it?

I mean, she's practically obsessed with you! Practically in lo––

Well, you know. She likes you.

Yeah.

-Naruto of Ramen

To: foxydemon
From: UchihaS
Subject: I am dumb? Look in the mirror

I did apologise, dobe.

And she's ignoring me because she's pissed.

And what do you mean obsessed? Sakura's the only girl in the grade who isn't obsessed and totally in love with me, or are you so stupid you forgot that, too?

She used to like me. As a friend.

To: UchihaS
From: foxydemon
Subject: You look in the mirror and see your hypocrisy!

UGH. I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU.

It must suck to have your head stuck up your ass.

-Naruto of Ramen

DAY TWO:

"Hey, Ugly," Sai smirks at me and uses his classic smouldering look! (EEE!) as he greets me the next morning. And ugh. I'm so tired. Remind me to never stay up till two in the morning with Ino-pig again.

"Hey!" I grin, noticing Sasuke-kun glaring daggers into the back of Sai's head. Sai is currently blocking the way to his locker, and this reminds me of Ino's suggestion.

"It's so good to see you," I drawl, pulling on the front of his t-shirt. He falls forward, but before he like breaks my nose, I start kissing him.

And, before I know it, I'm pushed up against Sasuke-kun's locker.

(JUSTICE! And, hey, it feels kinda nice…)

Sasuke-kun narrows his eyes, before stalking off.

I break away from Sai, and wink. "Twenty points!" I whisper.

"Don't worry," he shrugs. "I'll catch up."

13/7: at ze place of my dwelling

It's currently six am. And damn, I can't sleep anymore. I'm just kind of anticipating school at the moment. Today will be the third day of Operation: Revenge on Sasuke-kun!

(You know, even when I'm trying to hate him, he's still basically the only thing on my mind…

But no. I am not obsessive.)

It's actually very fun to be in a relationship with Sai. He's not like the first boyfriend I envisioned I would have. The boyfriend I saw myself being with (who had Sasuke-kun's face) was sweet and caring and would compliment me and carry my books and take me out to exotic places and, I dunno, be sensitive. But alas. That's basically impossible and Sai is a very good substitute.

Even if I don't like him. Even if I'm still pining hopelessly after Sasuke-kun, who is the world's biggest jerk and should go conveniently fall off a freakin' cliff. I don't exactly know what I hope to achieve in the long run. I mean, you can only piss someone off so far before they start hating you.

(Do I really want Sasuke-kun to hate me? I don't think it would make much difference, personally. He acts the same either way. Sigh. Fantasies do not happen in reality!)

In the long run, I think I want to make Sasuke-kun pay. I mean, I've been in love with him since I was a kid and it's always been one-sided. He's never been really nice. I've always helped him through stuff and done him favours and been by his side (when he didn't scare the hell out of me). And he repays it by being a jerkface with jerkfaceish ways!

UGH. I PROMISED TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. UGH. I DID I DID I DID.

On the other hand, SHAMELESS MAKING OUT IS FUN!

LUST SHOULD NOT BE A SIN!

I feel very bad right now.

But I don't really care.

Le squeal! Sakura-chan has a boyfriend!

Love from your most probably bi-polar master,
Haruno Sakura

UchihaS: I'm going to kill that Sai guy.

Foxydemon: (And he says he's not jealous!) Okay, whatever. Did you know now you've told me it'll be first degree murder and that's like a life sentence?

UchihaS: (Would you stop with the jealousy thing?) Dobe.

Foxydemon: You're very articulate today, y'know. Y'know what I think your problem is?

UchihaS: You?

Foxydemon: Haha. Funny. Nooo! I think your problem is that you don't like sharing things with people, and you were just always kind of used to Sakura always paying attention to you, and now she's not––plus, SHE'S DATING THE CREEPY ART GUY. (Hey, well, I'm not pleased about that, either.)

UchihaS: You make me sound like a five-year-old.

Foxydemon: Because you are oh-so-mature all of the time.

UchihaS: Your assumption is wrong. I just don't think Sakura should be hanging around with a guy like… him.

Foxydemon: Becauuuse…?

UchihaS: Because he's not good for her. Dobe.

Foxydemon: You are really asocial. Has anybody ever told you that?

UchihaS: ...Hn. I'm speaking to you now, aren't I?

Foxydemon: Yah-huh, but asocial is when you socialise outside of the conventions … or, in your case, you just suck ass at it.

UchihaS: …

Foxydemon: See? You even add dots for effect! That is just the beginning of your creepiness!

UchihaS: I'm leaving. You never have any useful advice.

UchihaS has signed off.

Foxydemon: You just never listen to me! Ugh!

Message could not be received as recipient is offline.

aaa

DAY THREE:

Mornings are always the worst times of the day, I think.

The teachers are all sado-masochists for making us come so early. Seriously.

"Oi! Forehead girl!" Ino appears at my side, grinning from ear-to-ear.

(Ino grinning in general is an unnatural occurrence. She prefers smiling prettily. But Ino grinning really widely is plain scary. And it is a sure-fire way of guaranteeing something extremely out of the ordinary has happened.)

"Hmm?" I respond faintly.

"You have to see this!" she tugs on my arm, practically dragging me outside. There's a huge crowd gathered outside, all laughing and pointing and basically making fools of themselves. I blink. Ino shoves me forward. "Look up, Sakura! It's… wow!"

I look up slowly (kind of wondering at everyone's misplaced sanity, but whatever).

And then I blink again. Several times over. So much in fact that I'll probably have no eyelashes left by the time I'm thirty.

In the sky is an aeroplane, tracing the words 'Love you Sakura' in the air from the jet stream. Ino is laughing hysterically, and I am at a complete and utter loss for all words right now.

UM.

OKAY.

Sai is at my side now, and he smirks.

"That has to at least get me fifty points, doesn't it?" he asks.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

"That's cheating!" I declare with a whine. "You can't use an aeroplane! That's … that's … unfair!"

"Hey, there were no rules to this game! You need thirty points if you wanna match me, Ugly."

"Ugh!" I look at the sky again, smiling slightly.

(You know, it's too bad this is all fake and that Sai doesn't really mean it. It's too bad that it's all a game. I wonder…

Do you think love in general is just a game now?

Would anyone ever actually do this?

Le sigh. Depressing.)

I notice a shadow looming over me.

"Sasuke-kun?" I ask as I look up, seeing his figure blocking out the sunlight and the aeroplane's jet stream. But he's not looking at me. He's glaring––the Patented Uchiha Glare of Supreme Death Mark Three, to be exact––right at Sai, and his eye is twitching.

"Something wrong?" Sai asks, amused.

Sasuke-kun doesn't respond, merely continues glaring daggers.

(His eye is still twitching. Um.)

"I know I'm hot, but no need to stare, Uchiha," Sai casually slings an arm over my shoulder, arching an eyebrow at him.

(Oh, crap! That probably gets Sai another ten points…)

SLAM.

Holy. Crap.

SASUKE-KUN JUST PUNCHED SAI.

IN THE FACE.

WITH HIS FIST!

(…which is generally what you use. Off topic.)

Sai staggers backwards, a big purplish bruise blossoming on his (TOO PRETTY!) features. I whirl around, glaring at Sasuke-kun.

"What'd you do that for?" I snarl.

"Hn," is his ever-so-tactful response.

"Ugh! Just go away!" I scream at him, before turning to Sai.

(Physical violence is inexcusable.)

Sasuke-kun frowns at me, before storming off, Naruto at his heel.

("Don't worry, Sakura-chan! I'll put him in his place for you!")

"Are you okay?" I ask Sai, biting my lip. It's so my fault.

Sai winces. "What, Ugly? Gonna kiss my battle wounds better?"

I raise an eyebrow. "No," I admit. "But that definitely earned you fifty points."

He smirks. "Oh, are we enjoying my game now?"

(A hard question.)

I glance over my shoulder at Sasuke-kun's retreating figure. Then I glance back at Sai. It seems almost like––

Like I––

I dunno.

"Yes," I tell him, determined.

(I'll make myself be happy with this somehow.)
To: prettyprincess77
From: inobabexoxo
Subject: The Sasuke conundrum

Considering you have been traumatising the incredibly lame Uchiha for three consecutive days now, have you been brought to an epiphany? Has he been brought to an epiphany? Because, honey, I don't think all this drama is healthy for you. You hardly even ate your lunch.

What's the plan?

Hugs and kisses,
Ino

P.S––order, I dunno, roses or something. And give them to Sai. Or do something equally clichéd. To get more points, darling! You need those points to get out of paying for a meal.

To: inobabexoxo
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: It's not a conundrum!

I have no idea what I'm doing, Ino-pig. Seriously.

Seriously.

(UGH. SAI IS HOT. WHY CAN'T I JUST LOVE HIM?

We would have good children.)

SASUKE-KUN IS STUUPID. MEN ARE STUPID. LIFE IS STUPID.

AND NARUTO IS STUPID JUST BECAUSE.

Can we go join a convent or something, pig?

Out,
Sakura-chan!

P.S––ew. No. Not roses. But maybe something sexy?

(WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS?)
To: foxydemon
From: UchihaS
Subject: Sakura

I don't get it.

What the hell does she see in him?

(And why is she so angry at me?)

...don't answer that.

A/N: I updated so fast! Yay me! Don't I deserve reviews for that? (Even if it's just, like, one word. I don't care.) And yes, the action is continuing. This chapter depresses me a little. But, I assure you, there will be actual SasuSaku action sometime. Seriously.

EDIT: Thanks to Caramel Crazy for pointing out the error! It is now fixed. XD