The girl sighed as she watched Harry Potter arguing with Natsu Dragneel.
"What she needs is Felix Felicis!" Ron yelled.
"No! She needs to become a REAL MAN!" Elfman roared. Ron whimpered and hid behind Hermione, who muttered something else about real men.
"SHE NEEDS TO TASTE THE FIRE!" Natsu yelled. Ron scoffed, and he set him on fire.
"AAAAUGH! Fairies!" Ron cursed.
"Here," Hermione sat by the girl and handed her a glass of some liquid. It was purplish and frothy, with something that looked like jewels and stars bubbling up inside it, twinkling. It occasionally changed colors, and it fizzed softly. It also smelt wonderfully nice, sugary and sweet, as greenish foam began to change into pink mousse.
"What's this?" The girl asked.
"Buvet de Show," Hermione replied. "It's a special potion which creates a fancy drink to appeal to the eye and would often be sold to foolish Muggles as a quack remedy to raise the dead. It's been made to defy physics and do all sorts of strange things. But nowadays the wizards call it Buvet de Troll, since it messes with scientists minds once they are offered it by a mischievous wizard."
"It does look nice," the girl spoke quietly. "Can I try some?"
"If you're brave enough to want to," Hermione smiled. "I don't think it's just for show. Try some, go on."
In a trance, the girl slowly sipped at the bluish-purple beverage before it turned milky white. She coughed and spit it out, choking and gasping.
"It doesn't taste good anymore once you know its secret," Hermione scratched her head nervously.
"Heyyyy, what are you doing?" A voice asked. Standing in front of the two was Erza.
"Uhhh, hi," the girl spoke.
"So, you wanna try some swordfighting?"
"Why not!" The girl agreed. "I'll take you on!"
Erza pulled out a scary looking, cartoonish large axe and a set of daunting claymores.
"Er...I think I'll just sit down and drink," the girl spoke nervously.
"Nope!" Erza replied. "You are going to spar with me! That drink will be your punishment if you fail!" With that she swung the axe. Hermione and the girl barely jumped away as she chopped it in half.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The girl screamed as she ran across the shield, chased by an Erza with glowing eyes.
"Face her and fight!" Hermione yelled.
"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! YOU HAVE MAGIC!" The girl yelled.
"FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" Elfman roared.
"I AM A GIRL!"
"FIGHT HER ALREADY!" "RESIST!" "DON'T BE A SISSY!" "ANYTHING WORKS AS LONG AS IT'S NOT US!"
She sighed, and searched for a weapon. She had an idea and grabbed James Potter.
"HEY!" James yelled. "I'M NOT INDESTRUCTIBLE!"
"For Sparta!" The girl proclaimed, and charged towards Erza, holding James like a spear. He collided with Erza's stomach and she pushed forward. The girl struggled and was about to lose due to lack of muscle.
"Hold on girl!" Mirajane called.
"Keep struggling! Push! You got this!" Mrs. Figgs cheered.
The girl kept pushing and kicked, barely dodging blows from Erza's axe. She screamed and aimed a punch, but was met with armored blocks.
"SALAMANDER'S IRON FIST!" She screamed, aiming for between the eyes, which is every creature's weakness. She's the one coming at me with full armor and scary weapons, she grumbled. She grabbed ahold of James' legs and swung him in a circle. While Erza dodged him, she kicked at her feet. Erza nearly fell over, but she kicked back with ten times as much of force.
"Forget this!" The girl groaned.
"That's a copyrighted move!" Natsu yelled.
"Hey Erza! Jellal is over there holding a strawberry shortcake!" The girl screamed.
"GIMME!" Erza charged at Jellal, who screamed.
She attacked him and swung the axe at him, as he whimpered and fended her off with celestial magic. The girl took the chance to apologize to James.
"Don't apologize, you softie!" He roared. "But you owe me on Usage As Human weapon," he grinned. The girl sighed and nodded.
"Can I use your wand?"
"LIKE THAT'S HAPPENING."
"Oh, okay, see you."
"Oh no you don't! You are going to pay!" James laughed evilly and coughed.
"That's copyrighted!" Voldemort complained. "Avada Kedavra is, too! Don't you let me catch you uttering those! Oh, and so is the humanoid serpentine look, and the red eyes, and the-"
"Yeah yeah yeah," Dumbledore rolled his eyes. "Though it is the time to make claims for your character before Sauron decides to update his look."
"Because you aren't a total ripoff of Gandalf, eh?" Voldemort snickered.
"Back in my days, it was an honor to be copied," Dumbledore huffed.
"Which were?"
"..."
"If I'm fifty and you were a young man when you visited me..."
"I AM IN MY EARLY FOURTIES. QUIET."
Ginny and Lucy happily sat together, playing with Plue.
"MOMMYYYYYY!" A girl ran past them. Jellal was tagging behind her.
"ERZAAAA STOP DOING THIS!" He pleaded.
"Should we help them?"
James Potter ran around, shooting suspicious green jets of light and other random curses.
"I'll teach you!" He howled. "Nobody uses James Potter as a lance for jousting!"
"Poor soul never had a chance," Ginny sighed. She stood up and cast a Bat-Bogey Hex at James. "Dad! Don't hurt the girl!"
"I must avenge my pride as a Potter!" James howled. "Assist me, Ginny love!"
Lily yelled at him and cast a Jelly-Legs Jinx. Mirajane screamed at Erza and tagged after her transformed into Satan Soul and warning her not to kill the girl. Harry Potter hid his face and denied any relation to James.
"Bit of a barmy, eh?" Fred and George asked.
"This will not go well," Lucy muttered, doing a sweat drop. "I'll go call Death and give him a blow-by-blow description of what happens."
"What do you MEAN you killed her?" Death gaped.