Chapter Three – Jealousy
"I hear she's taken in some boy, a complete stranger."
"I hear she met him on the street, only half dressed and barefoot. One of those male prostitutes, I wouldn't be surprised."
"Do you think?"
"And now she's given him a home? How very... charitable."
"Question is, I guess, how charitable he is."
"Oh, really. He is young enough to be her grandson..."
"It hasn't stopped anyone before."
"Quiet!"
Hope walked in through the door to the shop, leaning slightly on Tetsu's arm. Her rheumatism had worsened for a couple of days, and it hurt to walk. Tetsu helped her willingly, but smiled to himself when she didn't see. Humans really were astounding in their wish to extend their years. Even those who could not live without others, who needed help for something as simple as walking – they still held on to life grimly, refusing to let go. Animals didn't live that way, and so it was strange to him.
"Good morning, Martha." Hope smiled at the gaggle of old women, huddled together in the vegetables department. "Good morning, Mrs Hubert... Nina... Esther..."
"Good morning, Hope," answered the women, smiling at her and gazing with undisguised curiosity at the young man beside her. Tetsu had agreed to let Hope wash his clothes and now instead wore a large shirt and jeans that had once belonged to her son, but he still refused to cover his feet. He wore more jewellery than was really decent, in the ladies' opinions, and his hair was wild, a mass of curls that no comb or brush could tame (Hope had tried valiantly and failed, to Tetsu's sniggers). And if all this was unusual and intriguing, his eyes were yet stranger. You found yourself unable to look away, once they had caught you, and they were a colour none of the ladies had ever seen before.
Had they ever stared eye to eye with a wolf or a falcon, they might have recognised those eyes. They belonged to someone free, someone who would never suffer a cage or collar.
Put shortly, Tetsu looked wildly out of place in the small shop. While Hope talked politely with her neighbours, he gathered the vegetables they needed and put them in the shopping basket held daintily over one arm. It was rather like watching a wild bear dancing – absurdly comical, an animal playing human games.
He noticed the old ladies' searching stares, but when he looked back they glanced away, embarrassed. He frowned in confusion.
"You must excuse us," said Hope, smiling again at the others, "but we have such a lot of shopping to do. I have avoided going out for the last couple of days, you know how it is when the rheumatism sets in..."
The other ladies murmured assent, offering their best wishes for a speedy recovery. Hope thanked them and moved on, and Tetsu hurried to her side, taking her arm. They had hardly gone out of earshot when the whispering started again.
"So that's him, mm?"
"I don't know what she is thinking. Did you see his eyes?"
"Clearly a criminal of some sort..."
"Those eyes..."
"All that jewellery..."
"Not normal..."
"And his eyes..."
Tetsu frowned again, looking at the old lady by his side. "They don't like me," he said. "I'm making things difficult for you. I should leave."
"Never," said Hope, and smiled. "If I cared about what other people thought was right and lived my life with the intent never to break anyone's rules, I'd have to stay at home with the windows shut and bordered up, and lie in bed trying not to breathe. Even so, someone would be sure to comment on how ugly my house looked... There will always be people who do not approve of what you do, and I find the best thing is to ignore them. Besides... for these ladies, it is just the jealousy speaking."
"Jealousy?" Tetsu had heard the word before, and never understood it. "What do you mean?"
"We are all lonely," said Hope, and when she smiled it wasn't happy. "My husband died many years ago and my son is in Cambodia, far away. When he comes home he spends his time with his fiancée or friends, and seldom comes to see me. He has a new life now, and one that features me only far down the list." She paused, sighed. "It's the same for all of us. Mrs Hubert calls herself a widow, but everyone knows her husband left her fifteen years ago for another. Martha has no children and her husband is in a hospital – can no longer remember who he is, let alone her. Nina's children won't see her since she divorced their father, and most of her relatives are dead. Esther never married.
"We all long for company again. Without another person in your life, every day looks like the other and you forget how to laugh." She fell silent again, but then smiled at him. "But I found you."
"Then why aren't they happy?" asked Tetsu. He had always been alone, but by listening to Hope and watching the television he had been introduced to the concept of friends, people who wanted nothing but good for you. "If you are happy, why aren't they glad? I thought they were your friends."
"Sadly, jealousy is a very strong force," said Hope. She shook her head, and turned. "Now come. We need milk, and eggs."
He looked it up in the dictionary.
jealous: adj. suspicious of, or incensed at, rivalry: envious: solicitous: anxiously heedful: mistrustfully vigilant: brooking no unfaithfulness.
"Thanks a bunch," he said.
He started to look up incensed as well, then gave up and settled down to think about it instead. He thought he could understand the theory of it, at least. The other old ladies did not like that Hope was happy, because they wanted her happiness for themselves. And yet, although they wanted what she had, they did not take it.
Animal laws are simple. What you have, you have; what you haven't, you either take for yourself or forget. There is no longing, no bitterness, no jealously watching and poisoned words.
He left the house silently, and disappeared into the streets. Half an hour later he was back, clambering up the side of the two-storey house next to Hope's – walls slippery with rain – to reach the second floor, where he knew the woman called Mrs Hubert lived. He raised his head carefully over the windowsill, and grinned as he looked into her living room. She was watching television, one of his favourite shows.
"I was so surprised when they turned out to be related."
She looked around, opened her eyes wide and screamed. "How the – how did you get in?" she shrieked, flying out of the couch and then clutching at her heart, grimacing. Tetsu shrugged.
"Through the window," he said, pointing at the same. "It was sort of open, so I opened it some more."
"But I live on the second floor! And you can't just enter people's homes like this!"
"Oh, I know. I would have come the front way, because I know it's polite," he was pretty proud over remembering this, "but the man who lives underneath you wouldn't let me in." He had opened the door after Tetsu's bell but had merely sneered with disgust and kicked at Tetsu, muttering about gene manipulation. Tetsu was used to it. He didn't fit into any of the little boxes in people's minds – was he a dog... a sheep... or wait, a human? And that which sticks out is thrust out, scorned and avoided.
"What do you want?" Mrs Hubert was backing away, a slight limp to her step. "If it's money I don't have any."
"What would I do with money?" frowned Tetsu. "No, I brought you a friend." He stuck his head out of the window, calling out to someone who seemed to be just outside it. In the tree that stood in their front garden, perhaps? But no, that surely couldn't support a human... "Come on!"
"For heaven's sake!" Mrs Hubert seemed to lose some of the terror she had felt when Tetsu first entered, replacing it with anger. "What do you think this is, the Salvation Army's – oh, what on earth?" A young girl had just entered the room, helped by Tetsu. "What gives you the right to drag your dirty little friends in here? Don't let her step on the carpet! Who is this? She looks like a drowned cat!"
"Funny you should say that," grinned Tetsu. "This is your new friend. She will make you less lonely. Tell the lady your name, go on." This was to the girl, who looked up at Mrs Hubert through a sopping, ragged fringe.
" 'M Cat," she said sullenly.
"Good lord." Mrs Hubert looked at her with disgust. "When did you last wash yourself?"
"T'day," said the girl quite truthfully, although if Mrs Hubert had known what she meant by washing herself she might just have fainted.
"See," said Tetsu, "Hope said that the reason you are unpleasant is that you are lonely. That's what turned you spiteful, not having anyone to share the dead hours with." He put a hand on the girl's shoulder and pushed her forward gently. "Cat doesn't have anywhere to go, so she can stay with you and keep you company. And I can talk to you, too, if you want."
"What is this all about?" asked Mrs Hubert. The fear had returned to her face, and she seemed to be trying to edge away without appearing to move.
"Making Hope happy," Tetsu replied promptly.
"And you'll make Hope happy by dragging some brat – some street urchin – into my home?"
Tetsu's eyes narrowed. "See," he said, "that's the difference between you and my human. Hope would have said "the poor thing, she looks so cold". You say, "dirty brat, I don't want her in here". I brought Cat to you because the way I understand it, you are jealous of Hope for having me with her. I brought you someone like me. Is that not enough? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to keep you company? I can do that. I can talk to the other ladies, too, if that will make you all stop saying bad things. I don't mind talking. And I wouldn't eat any of you because that would be like eating boots. You are so old."
Mrs Hubert stared at him. She did not even seem to notice Cat, who had wandered off into the other end of the room and curled up in the armchair, rubbing her head against one of the large pillows.
"You are crazy." Mrs Hubert shook her head, pushing against the wall as if she could go through it if only she tried hard enough. "You – you're not normal."
"No," said Tetsu, cheerfully. "But I like Hope. And I want her to be happy instead of upset." He hopped back up on the windowsill and started to climb out. Then he turned back towards Mrs Hubert and smiled, beautifully. "Take care of Cat. If you try, you might find her company does do you good. Anyway, I'll come back. You won't ever be alone again. Oh, and forget what I said about eating people. I don't do that. Much."
He waved, and jumped.
"Oh god." Hope put a hand to her mouth, staring at the policemen who surrounded the house next door. "God, what's happening?"
"Mrs Hubert is dead," said Tetsu, tilting his chair back to look out the window as well. Hope turned towards him slowly.
"How do you know? Did you have anything to do with this?"
"Why would I?" He let his chair fall back down with a thud and turned back to his rice. "You said yourself I would not kill."
"I'm not so sure."
"Good, so you're learning." He grinned at her, then turned serious. "But I didn't kill Mrs Hubert."
"Oh." Hope sat down opposite him, resting her head in her hands and looking exhausted. "I just thought... since you seemed so angry after we met them at the shop... how did you know, then?"
"I talked to one of the policemen." He had been beautiful, and Tetsu had stood close to him, breathing in his scent. And remembering it, so that he could easily follow it later. He hadn't had meat in over a week.
"I'm sorry." Hope reached out, put her hand over his. "I shouldn't distrust you. Of course you didn't hurt her."
"I went and talked to her, though," Tetsu said, thoughtfully. "She didn't listen much."
"About what?"
"Jealousy."
"Did you frighten her?"
The image of someone not quite human, tapping on her window.
"I'll come back."
The thought of looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life.
"You won't ever be alone again."
A pair of long-fingered hands, reaching for her throat... sharp teeth... strange eyes...
Tetsu shrugged. "I don't know. Should I have?"
Hope sighed, shook her head. "No, you shouldn't. She's old. One bad fright could mean her life. I wonder if that's what happened? I know you didn't mean to, but you may have frightened her to death. Poor woman. So lonely." And to his surprise, she was crying.
"She wasn't nice," he said.
"No, she wasn't. But no one should die before their time. And it makes me think – maybe things could have been easier. Maybe if we'd been kinder to each other, things could have gone differently. Maybe... it wouldn't have ended this way."
Humans. Tetsu leaned his head in one hand, watching Hope crying. They use the word 'if' all the time. Always looking back, wondering if they had done this, if they had done that... even though it's already too late. The woman was mean and nasty to her, yet she wonders if maybe they could have been better friends; greater, more forgiving. So strange...
Puzzled but grateful enough over the night indoors that had been given her, the small cat in Mrs Hubert's living room stretched, clawed one of the cushions in the armchair absentmindedly and then jumped to the floor. She picked her way between the legs of policemen, circled around the body of the dead woman and side-stepped a kick from a black-clad leg.
"Probably came in through the window, it was open," muttered a voice, and before Cat had time to dodge a hand came down and grabbed her by the neck, carried her down the stairs and threw her out the door.
Humans, she said to herself. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
And then she sauntered out into the warm morning sun, giving no further thought to the cold lonely home she had just left.
I'm so sorry! Once more life got away from me. This spring has been rather crazy – as if it wasn't enough with my all-consuming studies, there's been a lot of other things going on. Fanfiction has had to take a back seat, unfortunately.
But here he is, back again: Tetsu!
In other news, have recently found Petshop of Horrors: Tokyo. The saga goes on! (As of yet not a lot of Tetsu action, though.)