Chapter 4
M.C, N.I.- Thanks for the encouragement and ideas, keep them coming, guys.
Onyx Nailo- You are constantly making me smile with your positivity, hope you enjoy this update.
Liam Clarke- Thank you so much, it really makes me feel good, that you like my story.
JustAStrangerPassingBy- Snarky Sam is so enjoyable to write, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
To my loyal readers, I am so sorry for the delay in update- forgive me, pretty please with a maraschino cherry on top?
I don't own Glee.
To say Sam was nervous to meet Burt Hummel, was an understatement- he felt like his body was on fire- and not the "so full of passion, let's have sex right now", fire- rather he felt like he was being branded with a cattle prod. He didn't even know why he was so nervous, but Burt did have a reputation of being fiercely protective of his son, and for good reason. He wasn't going to hurt Kurt, so there was no reason to be afraid, was there? He got out of his car and walked to the door, before he could even ring the doorbell, the door opened and a man with a shaved head and stony expression stood there, appraising him.
"Hello, Sir. I'm here to pick up Kurt?" Sam was still nervous, all his resolve left him, and what was meant to sound as a strong, robust declaration, come out more as a wavering question.
"Hmmph, I take it you're the boyfriend?" Before Sam could even respond, Burt lowered his voice and said, "If you so much as make my boy cry, I've got a loaded Benelli in the back, and I'm not afraid to use it."
It was at that time, Kurt walked into the foyer. "Dad, please don't scare Sam. I agreed to let you meet him, so if you have any questions, ask now."
"Alright, Sam..." Burt said it with a hint of disdain.
"You may be with my son now, but there are many pretty girls at McKinley, that much I do know, how can I be sure that you're not going to run off with some blonde haired green eyed cheerleader?" Sam and Kurt blanched at the same time.
"With all due respect, Sir, the female anatomy does nothing for me, so even if things changed in the future, I would never be with a girl, and I like your son very much, I like to think of myself as having a moral code, and I will do my very best to make sure I won't hurt your son."
Burt seemed satisfied with that answer, and proceeded to ask another question, "Sam, one thing that does concern me, is you transferred to McKinley mid semester- were you expelled for drugs or underage drinking or mass orgies at your old school?" Kurt shrieked, "Dad! You can't ask that!"
"It's okay, Kurt, your father is just looking out for you. No, Sir, I don't smoke, drink, do drugs or have mass orgies, considering I came from an all boys school, and not all the boys are gay. I had to leave because the boys found out something about me, and some of the boys were really homophobic, so I took some pre-emptive action for my safety."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I'm not, I wouldn't have met Kurt, otherwise."
"Okay, boys, get out of here before I change my mind, and Sam? It's Burt."
Sam smiled.
...
Kurt smiled, "Looks like you passed the Burt Hummel Test, so, , what are we doing tonight?"
"I was so nervous, but all I had to do was tell the truth, I really do like you, Kurt. How about we go out to dinner, and maybe catch a football game after?"
Kurt smiled, "That sounds great, no one, not even my father knows this- but I am a closet football fan, especially after my stint as kicker on the Titans last year, and I won them their only game, I just love watching, I only played kicker, so I don't know all the proper rules..."
Sam's mouth was agape- "Oh my God! My boyfriend loves football! You're amazing, Kurt! I can change that, I'll teach you the rules."
The boys went to dinner at a really nice restaurant called Melisande*, and just goofed around, talked about the day to day happenings at McKinley and Glee Club gossip and drama, they shared dessert- an amazing Rose Flavoured Grappa, Marscapone and Raspberry Tart*. They got ready to go watch the football game, but first, Sam had something up his sleeve, "Kurt, as much as I love your Tom Ford combo, you are not going to this game without a jersey, so pick one."
"Sammy! You know who I'm wearing? Aww! I'll pick the Dallas Cowboys."
"Kurtie- I may not be a stereotypical gay, but I do know my Tom Ford, Burberry and Ralph Lauren, I'm surprised you didn't compliment my blazer? Dallas Cowboys? Is that because their emblem is a star? Wait, that's a rhetorical question." Sam then poked his tongue out at Kurt.
"Oh, Samuel, how can you resort to such juvenile displays of behaviour?" Kurt proceeded to do the same thing.
"Sam, let me see your blazer?" Kurt then inspected it. "Oh my God! This isn't even out in the Ralph Lauren boutiques yet!"
Sam smiled bashfully, "Yeah, I know. My Mum is on the board of directors of Ralph Lauren."
Sam bought Kurt's jersey, and they held hands when they started walking to their seats.
...
The game was very thrilling, and anyone could see that Sam and Kurt, to a lesser extent, were in their element. Sam would describe each play with meticulous detail, whilst teaching Kurt the rules, and Sam's reactions inadvertently helped Kurt in whether or not he should be disappointed or enthusiastic if something happened. It also warmed Kurt's heart to see his boyfriend so happy.
Half time rolled around, and one of the traditions was the Kiss Cam- and it zeroed in on Kurt and Sam, to anyone who hadn't seen them holding hands earlier, it looked like two good friends at a game, and most of the other spectators didn't know what to think or expect, seeing as two guys were on the big screen, were the "friends" going to kiss or not? At that moment, each boy seemed to know what the other was thinking- let's really give them something to cheer about. Both boys leaned in, the crowd held its breath, and the boys started kissing, chaste at first, and then growing in intensity and passion, the electricity and passion almost tangible, after a while- the crowd seemed to realise that they weren't just two straight boys having a laugh, they were a couple, and despite what most people think would happen- there seemed to be a distorted logic in the air tonight- with the crowd's cheering seemingly increasing in volume and egging them on.
Meanwhile, at the Hummel household, Burt Hummel nearly fell out of his recliner.
...
The boys arrived back at Kurt's house, and as to be expected, Burt stayed up to wait for when they come back.
"So, how was your date?"
Both boys laughed, " It was really good, we had a fun time."
Burt smirked, "Sure there isn't anything else you want to tell me?"
The boys gave him a questioning glance, "No, positive."
Burt smiled wryly, "Thank God, for TiVo."
He then replayed the kiss cam scene. Kurt and Sam blushed profusely- and proceeded to stutter, "Errr- um- I- err- it was just a bit of fun, straight people do it all the time, why not us?"
Burt pursed his lips- "Don't make me have to get you into line, Sam, you're on the precipice, here."
Upon seeing Sam's terrified face, Burt loosened up, "I'm kidding, you guys are in a relationship, I'm not that naive to think that things like that aren't going on."
Sam hugged Kurt and pecked his lips, "Goodnight, Burt."
After Sam left, Kurt and Burt stayed up talking.
"Hey Dad, what do you think of my jersey? Sam bought it for me."
Burt hadn't noticed it when the boys got back for Kurt's Tom Ford concealed it, but he just had a brainwave. "Hey, Kurt? Was it your idea to go to the football?"
"No, it was Sam's, he bought this jersey for me, he said I can't go to the football without one, he loves football, he's the Titans' quarterback, he's won them their first 5 games. He taught me all the rules, went through all the plays with me in great detail."
Burt smiled, "That's great."
My liking for this kid has gone up by 1000%. I love Kurt, but it's hard for me to relate to him. If Sam was stereotypical as well, I don't know how I would have been able to cope, I'm so different to Kurt, but I see a lot of myself in Sam...
Over the next few weeks, due to football season being in full swing, Sam was spending a lot more time over the Hummel household than normal, and that's because Burt was doing a successful job of bonding with the fair haired pouty boy, things were going great, Burt and Sam were fast becoming good friends, and Burt had even invited Sam to Columbus, to watch a basketball game.
However, in the hallway, someone sat dejected and slumped, thinking Burt used to do all of this with me.
* To any of you Queer as Folk lovers out there, does the name Melisande ring a bell? Season One episode 17, when Michael becomes a snob, and "David and I are meeting Bobo and Melisande at Papagano?"
* One of my favourite desserts at a favourite restaurant of mine.