A/N: Sorry in advance, guys. This one isn't going to be so happy this time. And I am sorry for not updating sooner! Life has been pretty demanding recently and I was at a loss of how to start off this one. I think I will dig right into the dream rather than have Lyn actually talk to Jaime regarding it, seeing as this dream was pretty intimate and I feel it would leave more impact that way.

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Dream sequence 4; Yellow Balloon

It was late at night, well before dawn was to break over the horizon and stir life in and outside of the house. Lyn was alone, she had gone to sleep alone and knew she would probably wake alone, as Cas had been very passive the last few days and Lyn had assumed Heaven was on his mind. It was part of their relationship that she accepted. And truthfully, it felt better to her than to have him around every second of every day. It made them cherish the time they had together more.

She slowly stirred, however, at hearing the door open and close. That was odd. She had become used to Castiel popping in and out of existence without the use of doors, willing himself one place to the next. Something wasn't right. He wanted her to know he was there, somehow. At least that is what she gathered as she slowly slid out of bed and wrapped a robe around her body as she attempted to get used to cool air in relation to the warmth of the bed she was in previously. She shuffled quietly to the stairs and down them, turning the lights on as she went and blinking at their brightness. Why did it have to be the middle of the night?

When she rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, she turned to see Castiel sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. There was a receipt on the coffee table in front of him and he didn't seem to know or notice that Lyn was watching. Slowly, she approached him and sat beside him on the couch, gently reaching her hand out to rub his shoulder. He didn't acknowledge the act of kindness, it being as if she never even touched him, as if she wasn't even there.

Lyn frowned at how distraught and withdrawn Castiel had been recently, and especially now. She moved her hand from his back to go pick up the receipt in her hand. Upon reading it, she found it was almost like reading the inventory of a liquor store. She mulled over it, he had basically drunk a liquor store. She reached the bottom of the list and found that the last item was a balloon for some reason. How he managed to find a place that sold them both, she would never know, but it wasn't the issue that was pressing her at that moment. "Cas, what is the meaning of this? What is wrong?" Lyn finally spoke, her voice hushed of ill-use. Cas immediately took the receipt away and crumpled it within his hand, his knuckles white around the paper. She caught a glimpse of his expression, it was distorted in his anger. He looked like he would smite the next person to wrong him in any way.

After a moment of silence, Lyn tried again, conjuring her most gentle voice "Castiel. Please tell me what is wrong. I only want to hel-" and immediately Castiel looked at her and spoke. His expression was still one of anger, but his eyes had softened, showing nothing but grief. "It is us." He began to explain.

Lyn quieted as she waited for him to continue and he looked away once more. "It is us not being able to have children. And we would never be able to have our own children. At least not in the way we had hoped. Not ours." He glanced at her again before he hung his head in his hands again, his hands balled into fists with the receipt still contained in one. "Not even miracles could go so far." To this, his voice broke. And he broke with it. Lyn couldn't help but see this was how he was finally coping with it. She had broke down similarly when she was with Jaime and Layla. And as long as Cas kept it within, kept himself strong for her, she knew that it had taken a toll on him. She only wished that it didn't take drinking a liquor store for him to get it out. She simply took him in his arms and held him there, trying to console him to the best of her abilities. "We can always look for alternatives, Layla and Jaime already offered to help, so did Gabriel. Please. Castiel, please, I am right here. We can get through this. We are still here. I love you. And I am still here. I am right here." Lyn whispered over and over, meaning every word. And slowly, Castiel had begun to pull back together. He would never pull back completely, but at least he was calming down.

When Cas was able to stop crying, the sun had begun to rise above the horizon, just barely, signifying a new dawn of a new day. He pulled back only slightly to take Lyn's hand in his, giving it a gently squeeze. He used his other hand to take out a small, yellow balloon that had put in the pocket of his trench coat. Lyn looked curiously at it before looking into his face and he gave a slight smile in response, but his eyes read his sadness. "Come with me." He says before pulling them both up and towards the back of the house and out the back door. When they were finally in the middle of the backyard they had stopped and Cas still held her hand in his while he started to blow up the deflated yellow balloon in his hand. He stopped about halfway before he turned to Lyn and held it carefully to her "Please, blow up the rest of the balloon until you feel it is full." He instructed, his voice absent of any emotion, critical. Lyn paused before she took the balloon, wanting to ask why, but at the same time, she did not want him to break again. She filled up the last of the balloon before she pulled her hand from his to tie it off.

It was only then that Cas explained himself. "This is us, moving on. We are stronger than this and we will overcome. I love you and you can speak for yourself, but you probably lovely me too after everything we have done in our life together. That is all that matters and that is all that will ever matter to me. So now, let's move on."

Lyn gave him a small, solemn smile as Cas took her hand in his again, with the balloon between the both of their hands.

And they let it go.

And they simply watched it ascend, pulling each other into their arms as they both began to let their tears go. It was bitter, a mix of sadness and happiness that couldn't be described any other way.

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"Real life"

But as bitter as it truly was, Lyn couldn't help but remember how beautiful the yellow balloon looked against the dawn sky. She couldn't help but find the pure beauty it set against the pinks and oranges of the morning clouds in that sky. And she probably would never forget it for the rest of her life, even if it was a dream. Lyn lay there in her bed, staring at the ceiling as she pictured that yellow balloon, a strong ache in her chest making her almost forget this was her reality.

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A/N: That truly was another sad one. But they won't dwell on it anymore… right? However, next dream may have a glimpse at that wedding c; so stick around! Hopefully the update will be sooner than later!