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Chapter 4: I Never Knew She Had It in Her

He walks along a thick fog of nothingness. Blacks and grays are the only colors he sees as he continues his walk, trying desperately to get out of the nothing. A voice in the winds calls out to him, 'Save her' and echoes along the nothingness. Suddenly through the fog, he sees the back of a slim figure. Her golden hair swings with the wind.

'Save her' the echoes continue.

He recognizes her, "Allura?"

The figure doesn't turn around. He calls out to her again, now more forcefully, "Allura!"

'Save her!'

He runs to her and turns her around. She looks at him and her eyes are distant, but only for a moment. Her gaze finally falls to his eyes. "Leave me." she orders him.

"Come back."

She shakes her head sadly, "It's too late for me."

"No it's not Allura! Come back, we need to come you back!"

She smiles at him as she gently caresses his cheek. "No one needs me. Goodbye," she tells him as the fog thickens around them and she slowly disappears from his sight.

"Allura….Allura….Allura!"

Keith opens his eyes and finds himself in his office. After taking Black out, he went back to his office to read more of the journal. Looking around, he sits up on the couch he was laying on. "I must have dozed off." He tells himself. Lila had been keeping him up most of the night. The need for sleep was catching up to him. He hears a knock coming from his door, "Enter."

Lance walks in with a stack of paperwork. "Hey, since you're still here…I think I shouldn't have to play the role of Commander, so I'm giving this shit back to you." He grins as he throws the stack of paperwork on his desk. "Also, I believe we will still hold the usual practices and exercises?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Keith answers rubbing his eyes, "Didn't take long for you to rid yourself of real work."

"You know I have no interest in leading the team. I can't handle the boring stuff as well as you do." He looks closer at his friend, "Hey, you alright? You look….kind of spaced out."

Nodding, Keith stands up, "I'm fine." He walks over to his desk and looks over the paperwork. "Hey, this is the file on the new Commander."

"Oh yeah," Lance answers unenthusiastically. "Commander Gregory Paulson, the old bastard taking your place."

Keith laughs, "Come on Lance. The guy is thirty-three, that's hardly old."

"You haven't spoken to him."

"You did?"

"This morning. The Admiral contacted Coran and I this morning. He wanted to know how the Princess is doing and if there is a possibility for you to leave for your new post."

"Did you tell him that I need more time?"

"Yes…he didn't seem too happy. He's going to call back in a few days." Lance replies empathetically. "Anyway, then he presented Paulson to Coran and I."

"And…"

"His name should be Garrison Paulson! The man sweats Garrison. He's so by the book, I'm not sure how he'll handle command here."

Keith turns around and leans on his desk, facing Lance, "He can't be that bad. All Commanders have to follow Garrison commands and bylaws."

At this Lance laughs hysterically. "You….you're telling me this! Keith, how many times have you broken the bylaws of the Garrison whenever Lotor or his posse have attacked us? Please, you're the first one that will break the rules if it means saving anyone of us or anybody on Arus."

"You don't think Paulson will?"

"Paulson primary allegiance falls to the Garrison, not Arus, not to its people and Coran's worried."

"Why?"

"Well, when Paulson asked what protocol is used when one of us gets hurt, Coran told him that Sven usually fills in for one of us."

"And what was his answer?"

Lance laughs humorlessly, "He told us that this would change. Since, Sven is no longer a Garrison officer, and belongs now to the Pollux army, he shouldn't be flying the lions with the rest of us in battle. He told us that royalty should remain on land. 'Since Commander Sven is a Prince Consort, we will need to treat him as royalty, not as a soldier' were his exact words."

Shocked, Keith continues his questioning, "Did you tell him that Sven is more qualified than he is to fly the lions? Did you tell him that Pollux is Arus' sister planet and we work as one unit?"

"Not me…Coran. He was fuming. Let's just say that our first encounter was tense, to say the least."

Keith shook his head in frustration, "Shit. Another fucking problem."

"I should say so. Wait till Sven finds out. He's going to be livid and Romelle…now she's going to be worse than Sven…I almost feel sorry for Paulson!" Lance smiles. "Now, that is something to look forward to…"

"Lance…"

"What! I need to find something amusing in this entire situation." Lance slaps Keith's shoulder and turns to the door, "Well, I better get going."

"Where are you off to?"

"Well, Pidge and Hunk are taking Lila to the children's playground in Alderia. I'm going with them."

Keith raises his eyebrow, "Isn't Lila a little too young to play at the playground?"

Lance shakes his head, "No child is ever too young to enjoy the playground. Besides, we want to take advantage of the munchkin while she's still here. We want her to have a little fun, it's not like they're going to be any playgrounds where you're taking her." He finishes sarcastically as he walks out of Keith's office.

"Great! Now he's giving me the guilt trip!" Keith sighs harshly. He walks over to his desk chair. Continuing to read Paulson's file, he sighs once more as he thinks about how this new commander will change things on Arus.

Later that day, walking to the rec room with Lila in her arms, Keith couldn't help but notice Romelle's excitement as he walks in.

"Romelle, I take it that this baby sitting gig is pretty fun for you?"

Romelle blushes a little, "I can't help it. She's precious and I have so much fun taking care of her."

Sven shakes his head, arches his brow and turns to his wife, "Don't get any ideas yet Romelle." He says with half a laugh, "I'm not ready yet."

Romelle rolls her eyes, "Oh please! You practically tear her away from me when none of the guys are present!"

At this Keith laughs, he didn't realize until now, how alone he'd be on Earth without any of his friends around. He wondered how it would have been...going back to Earth, just him and Lila, alone. 'I wouldn't have a babysitter, that's for sure.' He thinks as he hands the baby to Romelle, who picks her up excitedly.

"I won't be long." He tells them as he drops the baby bag on the sofa. "I'm going to sit with Allura for a while and then work in my office."

"Have you thought of any way to bring her out of this?" Sven asks concerned.

Keith sighs in frustration as he answers, "I have no idea. Coran told me her journal would give me the answers. I don't know. I feel like I'm intruding. I can't imagine what it would feel like if someone had access to my private thoughts like this."

"Don't fret over this," Romelle counters as she shifts the baby into a more comfortable position for them, "If that's what you need to do to bring her back, then you must."

"Romelle," Keith begins taking a step forward toward her, "Did Allura ever tell you she was in love with me?"

Shaking her head softly, she answers him, "No…not in words at least. Every once in a while I'd catch her looking at you in a peculiar way that captured my attention. When I asked, she'd either change the subject or laugh it off."

"Why would she hide this from you as well?"

"I don't know. Maybe she thought I'd tell Sven. Honestly, Keith, we never really had a chance to converse about it. Something always came up. I don't think Allura was ever given the chance to sit and really talk to anyone."

Curiously, Keith asks, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, whenever I was here, there was either an attack, or she had a royal function, or a meeting with the council or…just something. Allura was consistently pulled somewhere. I guess there really wasn't any time for that kind of in depth conversation."

Nodding in understanding, Keith sighs, "Thanks. Where are you taking Lila?"

"Well, we thought we'd spend some time in the garden. Pidge wants us to bring her to the rec room after lunch so he can play with her." Sven tells him with a smile. "I guess the kid has a warm spot for her."

Keith smiles, "Alright. I'll see you later." He takes the journal out of the baby bag and kisses Lila goodbye before heading to MedTech.

When he walks in to her room, he sees a nurse checking Allura's vitals and Nanny fixing her hair.

"Hi Nanny…"

The governess gives him a small nod. He notices she has been crying, "I fixed her up. I don't want her to look sloppy when she wakes up."

Keith looks at the princess and then gently holds Nanny's hand, "She looks beautiful."

Nanny, about to cry again, nods before quickly exiting the room.

When the nurse leaves, Keith takes a chair from the corner of the room and sits next to Allura's bed. He notices that Nanny really did a nice job with Allura. She washed and dried her hair. It looks shiny and full as it drops over her shoulders and chest. She had diminished the paleness in her face by adding some blush and a light gloss to her lips.

"You look very pretty Princess." Keith hesitantly tells her. She keeps looking forward, not hearing his words.

He takes a deep breath and continues, "I'm sorry for reading this, but it's the only way I can get you back to me...us…back to us." He quickly corrects himself.

He opens the journal to where he previously had left off.

Dear Diary,

I did it! Ok, I should tell you first what I did, before getting all excited. A couple of weeks ago, I found Lance in the rec room looking through a book, well…not exactly. He called it a magazine. It's kind of like a book, but the pages are different and it has many pictures along with the words. It doesn't really look like a book either…the thing is pretty strange looking to me, but Lance seems very interested in it. He was particularly interested in the pictures. They were of these beautiful women wearing bras and panties. He said they're not underwear, but rather something called bikinis…

"Good Lord!" Keith exclaims as he rolls his eyes, imagining Lance looking over the magazine. 'God, I hope he wasn't looking at the shit he usually looks at!' he thinks to himself. He turns to look over at Allura, who seems to him, like she looks even farther away today. Sighing he returns to the journal.

Honestly, to me they still look like a bra and panties, but Lance swore to me that women from Earth use them to go swimming. I told him that that would be impossible, but he showed me the pictures to prove it. Guess what? All true! I asked him if he liked them and he said 'Absolutely Princess, I'd be crazy not to!'

"Figures," Keith snorts.

I kept looking at the pictures wondering if Keith liked bikinis too. I was too embarrassed to ask Lance, of course, so instead I asked him if all men from Earth liked bikinis. He told me that any man who didn't like bikinis was obviously a moron who 'probably couldn't get laid.' I don't know what the latter part of his answer meant, but I took it as a yes.

Anyway, I did my research and found a place where I could order a bikini and I got it last week. I had to practically hide it from Nanny when the package arrived in my room. I figured the next time we go swimming at the lake...I'd surprise Keith with it.

At this Keith laughs a little, he looks up at the Princess and shakes his head as he laughs a bit more. He turns back to the journal and continues.

Well, we went out today. After practice we decided we needed a break, so the guys wanted to go swimming at the lake. I was so excited when I heard Keith say yes, I don't think any of them realized the real reason I was excited. I ran back to my room and picked it up along with my towel and other toiletries. I changed inside Blue. Diary, I was a nervous wreck in that cockpit. I felt like I was exposing myself, but I kept thinking that if I wear this silly little thing (and I mean little!), Keith would finally notice me. So, dare I say, I put the bikini on and walked out. I must have come out as Keith was doing his dive from his lion because as soon as he saw me, his eyes widened. He actually lost his footing and fell off the lion! Everyone laughed hysterically, including me. I'm not sure if he was shocked a little to see me in the bikini or if he liked me wearing it. I really hope he liked me in it. Maybe, he'll start seeing me in a different way.

Allura

Standing, he looks over to Allura and caresses her cheek with his finger, "Allura, I liked you in the bikini."

That evening Keith lies in bed with his eyes closed. He turns onto his side and opens his eyes. He smiles at the sight in front of him. His beautiful wife smiles back at him, her auburn hair falls all over to her sides covering most of her pillow. Her hazel, almost green eyes shine with laughter.

He smiles back at her as he begins playing with her hair, twirling her locks within his finger. "I miss you so much." Keith tells her softly. "Please come back to me. I can't live this way."

She doesn't answer him, just smiles back. She moves her hand to caress his cheek. He moves his face against her hand. "I love you. Don't leave me."

Jocelyn closes her eyes, reflecting on his words then opens them. "The baby's crying." She tells him before he turns, opens his eyes and sees he is back in his room, alone.

He had been sleeping and dreamed of her being beside him…she was never there. Keith sighs in frustration and then realizes that Lila really is crying.

Quickly, he rises and runs to his daughter's crib.