Come the Rain

by Kadi

Rated: M

Disclaimer: It isn't my sandbox. It is my favorite place to play, however.

Chapter 4

The notification that her team had picked up a case came while Sharon was still on the road back to Los Angeles. She was still a few hours outside of the city when her phone rang. The team didn't need her yet, they were only just rolling out, and it would likely be morning before they had any sort of results from SID or the Medical Examiner's office. Sharon could have gone straight home and picked the case up with them the following morning. She didn't.

It had given her something to focus on. Until that moment she was too busy dwelling on what she was leaving behind, and that was difficult all by itself, especially considering that she was not a woman that often got caught up in thoughts about the things that she had already done. She typically made her choices and moved on. That was a little harder to do this time. With this new case she was able to push all of those thoughts aside and focus her attention on her work. That came easily. It was like slipping into an old, comfortable pair of jeans. She was very adept at wrapping herself in her work and using it as a shield against the uncomfortable parts of her personal life.

Sharon dove right into the case and was glad of the long hours that left her body and mind tired. It took them a few days to close it, by which point she decided that she was over the terrible, initial ache that came with parting from Andy after one of their visits. Whether she was fooling herself, or not, she didn't know, and chose not to consider.

After wrapping the case, a lunch date with Rusty provided another much needed distraction from her thoughts. Not that her son was, or ever would be a distraction from her life; far from it. Meeting with Rusty was just a reminder of the most important thing that kept her where she was. He might have been living in the dorm now, but she had promised that he would always have a home with her. The condo was the first stable home that he ever had; how could she just pack up and move away without considering his needs? Whatever he needed of her, Sharon would always try to provide.

It was not only those thoughts that filled her mind when she met with him on Thursday afternoon. Since he had moved out they didn't see each other as often as they used to, although they tried very hard to meet for lunch at least once a week. Rusty also made a habit of stopping by the Murder Room whenever he could, but it wasn't the same. She missed him, this child that her heart had chosen, but she was proud of him, and happier than she could express to see him embracing a life that very few had ever imagined that he would have, especially himself.

She smiled brightly as they walked along the Santa Monica boardwalk, lazily moving in the direction of their favorite ocean-side café. Rusty was filling her in on everything that happened since their last meeting while she listened happily. When he pointed at a table in the café's outside seating area, Sharon shook her head. "Something with some shade," she replied. He wrinkled his nose at her and she bumped her shoulder against his. He was a cheeky one, but then he always was.

Rusty moved to a table that had a large, blue, canvas umbrella and pulled out one of the chairs for Sharon before sitting down across from her. "You know, a little sun wouldn't hurt you," he teased. "It's not like you're going to wrinkle."

Her eyes narrowed. Sharon crossed her legs and sat back in her chair. "That had better not have been a quip about my age, young man." She picked up her menu and turned it over, although she already knew what she wanted.

"Who's quipping?" He smirked at her.

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "You have spent entirely too much time with Lieutenant Provenza," she decided. "You are really beginning to sound like him."

Rusty's eyes sparkled as he looked at her over the top of his menu. "I guess that's just one of those hazards of co-parenting, huh?"

Her laugh, when it came, was quick and uncontainable. The idea was utterly ridiculous but she couldn't help imagining the Lieutenant's face were he to hear such a thing. "I suppose that makes Andy your evil stepfather."

His lips pursed while he thought about it. Rusty tilted his head at her. His eyes were full of mischief. "Actually, I thought that was Jack. God Sharon, how many of them are there?" When she picked up her napkin to throw at him, he held up his hands in defeat. "Sorry."

"Rotten child," she shook her head at him. She did love that boy.

Their chatter stopped while the waiter came to take their orders. They both ended up asking for their usual. After the waiter had withdrawn again, Rusty leaned back in his chair. "Speaking of Andy, you didn't mention how your visit went."

Sharon hummed quietly. She gave him a delicate shrug. "I thought we agreed not to discuss it? Actually, as I understand it, you made me sign a legal document, in triplicate, that you would never have to discuss, hear, or witness anything relationship related as far as Andy and I were concerned." She looked over the rims of her glasses at him. Her eyes were sparkling with humor. "I would imagine that covers any trips I might make out of town to see said individual."

Rusty made a face at her. "Okay, I asked to not walk in on anything and for you to keep it down if he was over. It was never that bad. There are some things I just don't need to be part of, Sharon." His head tilted as he studied her. "I just thought, you know, you haven't gotten away in a while. What's it like up there? How is everyone? You haven't even mentioned Nicole yet."

"It is…" There was a part of her, she realized, that hoped he wouldn't ask. Now that he had, Sharon offered a careful smile. "As lovely as it was the first time I went. The weather here is practically tropical by comparison." In truth she was considering shedding her blazer. It was a rather bright and warm day, just the sort that Southern California was famous for, even in winter. "You almost wouldn't recognize the boys if you saw them," she said. "They've both grown a few inches, and Nicole…" Her smile warmed considerably. "She's doing very well. You should go back with me when I go up for her baby shower in a few weeks. I am sure everyone would love to see you, and it wouldn't hurt you to get away." He was working so very hard in school and with his VLOG that sometimes she worried that he was working too hard.

Rusty's nose wrinkled. "Baby shower?" He shifted in his seat. "I don't know." He wouldn't mind seeing everyone again, and he was a fan of the Bay area. Ever since the first time that he visited Ricky in Palo Alto he loved it. He wouldn't mind going back, and maybe he could swing in and see his brother while he was there. "Isn't a baby shower, you know, for girls?"

Sharon laughed. "No." She reached for her water glass when the waiter set it in front of her. "It is a family event. It isn't gender specific, although I understand that some people may think so. Historically I suppose that it was. Dean is going to be there, and so are Charlie and Andy. Both of Dean's parents are coming, and other members of the family too. You would not be the only male there, I promise."

He still didn't look convinced. At the same time, Rusty couldn't find any reason to not go. "Let me check out what I've got going on then, and we'll see. It might be kind of fun. Not the baby shower part, but the rest. Andy isn't going to mind?"

"Rusty." Sharon fixed him with a look. "No, he isn't." Her son knew better than to ask that, but she understood that there was a part of him that would always wonder. Some hurts just went too deep, and he had suffered these long before he came to her. "He would like to see you."

"Okay." Rusty knew when he had gone too far. He turned his glass on the table in front of him. "Then I'll see what I can do. Text me the date, and if there isn't anything happening then, it might be nice." He would have to compare it to his school calendar and class schedules. If he didn't have any exams or projects due, it wouldn't be hard to get away. "Speaking of school," Rusty said, before he could change his mind or they could get onto another topic, "I kind of wanted to talk to you about that."

It was less his tone and more the way that he was staring at his glass that drew Sharon's attention. She sat a little straighter in her chair. Rusty had grown pensive. He was worried about something. This was typically how he behaved if he thought she might not react well to whatever he was about to tell her. Sharon took a sip of her water and replaced the glass; then she folded her hands together in her lap. "Yes?" She asked at length, steeling herself against his news.

"It's not bad." Rusty thought he had better preamble his statement with that. "It's just… different." He glanced up at her finally. He shifted on his chair again and leaned forward. "So, a couple of pieces that I wrote for the school paper got published in a national publication for student writers. I also did an installment of the VLOG with one of them. Anyway… so part of that was to discuss what my plans were after graduating from Santa Monica in May. I mentioned that I was going to go to USC to finish my undergraduate degree," which was true, he had already been accepted. "Apparently USC is good, but I was told that if I was serious about a degree in Journalism there are better schools out there. So…" Rusty took a breath and shrugged. "I looked, and I found one." She was watching him, but it was that careful gaze she got sometimes. He knew she was still waiting. She wouldn't say anything until he managed to get it all out. It was a little unnerving sometimes. "I'm transferring to George Washington in the fall. I have a dorm lined up for the fall semester, and…" He hesitated for just a moment. "And temporary student housing for the summer because I have an internship at the Post. So… um…" It was harder to say than he thought it would be, despite how excited he was about everything. "I'm moving to Washington D.C. in June."

Sharon was left speechless. It was not at all what she expected him to say. She thought that he was going to tell her that he changed his mind about UCLA. He had gone back and forth between the two schools a couple of times before finally deciding that it was USC that he wanted. To her knowledge Rusty had never considered leaving Los Angeles for school, at least he never mentioned it before now. She stared at him while she processed that news. She had encouraged him, more than once, to consider any number of schools. Perhaps she had simply gotten comfortable with the fact that he hadn't. Sharon couldn't even say that he had chosen a bad school. George Washington University was one of the very best in the country. The only downside was, it was all the way on the other side of the continent. They had never been that far apart before. In fact, they had worked very hard at one point to keep that from happening.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times but there was no sound forthcoming. Sharon cleared her throat and sat forward in her seat. It felt a little as if all the air had been knocked out of her. She couldn't recall feeling this way when Emily and Ricky had chosen their schools. She had been proud of both of them, and she ached with how much she missed them at times, but her daughter was doing what she loved, in a city that had captured her heart. Ricky was nearer to her, and she saw him more often, but she didn't miss him any less. It was gratifying to know that her children were chasing their dreams. Now it seemed that all of them were going to be doing that, and in locations far away from home.

Home.

There was that word again. Wasn't the need to provide Rusty with a stable home one the things that were keeping her rooted to Los Angeles? It wasn't only Rusty. This was where she had raised Emily and Ricky too, but the driving force in her decision had been Rusty. If he was leaving, what then was to become of her?

Sharon pushed all of those thoughts aside. She focused on what was most important in that moment. "George Washington?" She had finally found her voice, although it was thick with emotion. "Where did that come from?" Her boy could be so impetuous. If this was what he wanted, she wanted it for him, but he needed to be certain.

"I did my research." Rusty explained. "The journalism program at USC is okay, but it isn't all that great compared to GW and NYU, or even Northwestern. I thought about those too, and I even talked to Emily. She said I could stay with her if I went to NYU, at least until I found a dorm or got a place. Ideally in the news cycle, you want to be in New York or DC; Chicago isn't bad, but Northwestern is just a little removed from that. The internship was the deciding factor. It's the freaking Washington Post, Sharon. That isn't the kind of thing that you turn your nose up at. Plus I did some other checking, and GW is a really liberal school, but they've got one of the most active political student bodies in the country. News literally happens on that campus."

The more he spoke, the more animated he was becoming. Sharon sat back in her chair again and watched him. When he began to gesture with his hands, Sharon fought the urge to smile. He was excited. Now that he had managed to break the ice of telling her, he couldn't contain his enthusiasm. Sharon swallowed back her own heartache at the thought of his moving away. He was right. This was a big deal. It wasn't something that he could turn away from. However much she knew that she would miss him, she could not deny or suppress the pride that she felt. This was something that Rusty had chosen and accomplished, all on his own. He had set his mind to a goal and achieved it. Just as she had always known that he could. It was only a matter of his believing in himself.

Sharon couldn't recall when she last saw Rusty so animated about anything. He only became this excited when he talked about chess, or his VLOG, finding Marianna Wallace's family, and a few other precious topics. That alone told her just how much this meant to him. Not that she would ever deny him. It had always been important to her that her children go to good schools, and that they find their own path academically. Ricky and Emily had both chosen well, and now it seemed Rusty had as well. Not because it was an Ivy League institution, but because it was what he really wanted. He wasn't doing this to please her; he was doing it to please himself. Sharon's smile softened. She chuckled quietly when he finally took a break as their meals arrived to breathe and take a drink of his water.

"I guess all that I can really say," she told him, "is how much that I am going to miss you. I hope you know that."

"I know, Sharon." He said it in that way that made it seem as if he wanted to roll his eyes at her, but Rusty felt the same way. He was nervous about moving so far away. He had gone back and forth on the idea so many times. In the end, he had talked it over with his brother and sister, and even Doctor Joe before he made the decision. He had wanted to make it himself, though, that was why he had not mentioned it to Sharon before now. He was afraid that if she looked at him, the way she was now, he would change his mind. He knew that she was proud of him, but he was going to miss her too. "I mean, it's not like I won't be home for winter break. I'm not moving to Mars."

"Hm." Sharon hummed. He always acted as if he was the first child she had ever raised. Yes, he would probably come home for winter break, at least the first year. After that, there would be things to keep him away. He would make friends, or find a romantic partner. He would want to travel, or seek out other internships and summer jobs. She had been through all of this before with her older children. For Rusty, Sharon simply smiled indulgently. "Of course not. It is only DC, a few hours by plane. You are only a phone call away, and you will be here for the holidays." Her head inclined. "It is a beautiful city. You are going to love it."

"So…" He let go of a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. Rusty lifted his fork and pushed the salad around on his plate. "You're not upset?" He wasn't sure if she would be or not. Emily and Ricky told him not to expect that. He had opted to believe them, but part of him still wondered.

"Of course not. Rusty." Sharon reached across the table and touched his hand, however briefly. "I would be more upset if you decided against this move because you believed that I would be upset by it, or because you felt that you couldn't accomplish it. We have two rules, Rusty. I know we have not always been able to keep you completely safe, but we have tried very hard. As to rule number two, you have to be kind to yourself as much as others. Reach out and follow your dreams. See how far they take you, that is what I want for all of you. Do not ever put your life on hold for another person's happiness. Compromise and sacrifice for the people you love, yes, but never at the expense of your own dreams or your own happiness, not if you can help it." That was a lesson that she had to learn the hard way. She had put so much aside and changed so much of who she was for Jack that she hardly recognized the girl she had once been. If their dreams took her children away from her, she would ache for them, she would miss them, but she would be proud of them for reaching for the stars that she had only once dreamed of. Sharon didn't regret her life, and she didn't dwell on the choices she made, but she wanted better for her children. All of them. She had found new dreams. Her children had filled that place in her life. She could not have been happier with who they were turning out to be as individuals. "Like you said," she concluded, "it is not like you are moving to Mars. Although…" Her eyes sparkled at him. "DC is not that far from it."

"Ricky said that you would say that." Rusty rolled his eyes at her, but he smiled too. "Even the Mars part."

"Ah ha!" She pointed her fork at him. "You thought that having siblings would be hard. I suppose they come in handy occasionally."

"Occasionally." Rusty grinned at her. "Not that I would tell them that. Well, Ricky anyway. Goes to his head. Emily isn't so bad most of the time, at least not when she isn't worrying about everything."

"She is the oldest," Sharon reminded him. "It is her job to worry about everything. You and Ricky will learn from her mistakes or achievements. It can be hard." She smiled warmly at him. "I am really glad that you spoke to them about this. I would never expect it to be an easy decision. They have both already been down this road; somehow we all still survived it." Sharon offered a delicate shrug. "It will be okay, Rusty. This is good. I am happy for you… and June is still several months away. For now I still have you."

"Yeah." He definitely felt better for having finally told her. Now that it was out there, they could just get ready for it. "There's just one thing," Rusty added. His brows lifted. "Um. Who is gonna tell dad?"

When he fluttered his lashes at her and smiled impishly, Sharon had to lift her napkin to keep from spitting the bite she had just taken across the table. She had to shake her head at him. He was a cheeky, rotten child, this son that she adored so much. She swallowed hard and reached for her water. Sharon cleared her throat. "You know, Rusty, I think that we will just have to send your other parent the bill and see what happens…" It was also entirely possible that he took completely after her.

MCMCMCMCMCMC

After parting with Rusty she went home. Sharon sent only a single text before getting into her car to make the drive across town. Rusty is moving to Washington DC in June. It was simple. She was sure that the very basic fact would get across how she felt about it, all of the pride as well as the sadness.

She didn't receive a response, but then, given the time of day, Sharon did not expect one. They did not always communicate throughout the day. If either of them were busy, hours could go between calls or text messages. Rather than return to the office, she opted to drive home. Sharon would finish what remained of the day's paperwork from there. At least, that was the initial idea.

Upon arriving home she ended up looking through the photographs she had of her youngest child. He was a bit camera shy. It was hard to get him to sit still long enough for her to capture a moment. Sharon resolved to do more of that before he made his move the following summer. The pictures that she had of him were precious, though, and she spent the afternoon and early evening reliving those memories. They had been through quite a lot together. From those tumultuous early days to the moment that Judge Richwood declared him hers, theirs was a relationship filled with many ups and downs.

There was a part of her too that worried about him moving so far away from the safety that he was afforded in Los Angeles. Phillip Stroh was still a threat, and granted a distant one as long as he remained abroad. The idea that he may still return someday to finish what he started that night in Griffith Park, so long ago now, was still a very real and frightening one. With Rusty on the other side of the country she would not be able to protect him. At the same time, Sharon knew that she could not keep him in Los Angeles waiting on a threat that might never become a reality. They could not live their lives in a prison of Phillip Stroh's making; that was a decision that they made some time ago. They had done very well moving beyond his very dark shadow. It would be an adjustment, Sharon knew, to live in a world where Phillip Stroh was still at large while Rusty was not living near her. As Rusty became accustomed to living on his own, to finding his place in the world and learning just how far his wings could spread, Sharon knew that she would have to learn how to let go of him. Some of the most difficult, but proudest moments, that she had experienced as a mother had come in watching her children leave the nest.

Those thoughts remained with her as the evening turned into night. She placed calls to Ricky and Emily; she wanted to be sure that they knew that she was aware now of the changes that were coming, and just how proud of them that she was for the way in which they had both helped Rusty to arrive at this decision on his own. Emily was disappointed, Sharon learned, that Rusty had given NYU a pass, but both of her children felt that GW might be a very good fit for the youngest member of their family. It was really only time that would prove that out, but Rusty would have all of their support.

As Sharon turned in for the night, she checked her phone again. There had still not been a response to her earlier text, but she was not overly surprised. She would speak to him in the morning. The challenge with living their lives apart was that it was also a study in patience. They could not always be immediately available to the other.

Sharon had been in bed for over an hour, and was just sliding into sleep when the knocking at her door pulled her back. She was unaccustomed to visitors stopping by unannounced, and Rusty never knocked, so she approached the door with caution. Her phone was in her hand as she rose onto the balls of her feet to gaze through the peephole at her late visitor.

Air left her lungs in a rush upon seeing who was on the other side. Sharon quickly flipped the locks and pulled the door open. Her eyes were wide and her surprise evident as she stared at him. "Andy."

He stood looking back at her for just a moment. There was a small, black duffel bag hanging from his shoulder. His shirt and slacks were a little wrinkled from the trip, but he hardly cared about how he looked at the moment. She was wearing his t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants, and from the look of her, he had gotten her out of bed. Andy didn't care about that either. It was the look in her eyes that drew his attention. Beneath the surprise there was something else. If he knew anything at all about her, it was that today had been one hell of a hard day, just as much as it had been a good one.

He stepped into the condo and pushed the door closed behind him. Andy dropped his bag beside it before reaching for her. "Hey." He pulled her into a hug and held on tightly. "I got on the first flight down here," he said, already knowing that would be her next question.

That would explain why he never answered her text. Sharon turned her face into his neck and drew a deep breath. Her eyes closed while her arms moved around his waist. Her fingers curled into his shirt and she leaned into him. "You didn't have to do that." She had never been happier to see him than she was in that moment.

"The kid told you that he's moving a couple of thousand miles away?" Andy shook his head. "Yeah I did." His hands moved up and down her back in a simple, comforting caress. "I know you. You're already going nuts thinking about everything that is going to go right, and everything that can go wrong. You're figuring out how you're going to help him do it, even though he isn't going to want you to, and how much you're going to miss him. You're proud as hell but this one hurts. He's the one that's needed you most and now he's doing exactly what you taught him. Where else was I going to be?"

Right here, holding her, she thought. Which was exactly where she wanted him to be. Sharon lifted her head and looked up at him. She had never loved him more than she did right then. "How long?"

"Just tonight. I have to get back in the morning. I'm on the ten o'clock flight back to San Francisco. That will put me back into town in time to swing by and pick up the boys." He had his grandsons for the weekend, and tomorrow was Friday.

Just the night, and only a few hours; it wasn't nearly enough time, but it was enough to reinforce what she already knew, and that was just how much she loved and was loved in return. She would take it, and she would hold on to it. She would hold on to him. Sharon drew back just enough to wrap her hand around his. She pulled him with her down the hall, back to the bed that she abandoned to answer the door. There she would be held, and she would tell him what was weighing on her mind. She would speak of her fears and her hopes. He would listen. He would tell her what she needed to hear. Yes, they were living their lives apart, but that was only geography. When she had needed him, he was there. The heart may ache for more, but it was currently filled with the knowledge that apart did not mean alone.

-TBC-