Varsity Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own Slam Dunk, period.

Chapter III

Mitsui dabbed his vexation-ridden face on the sink of his Master's Suite. The players had by then gone to sleep, sinking back to the depth of the dawn, snoring the ensuing hours away in their respective hotel rooms. But not Mitsui. Strictly not Mitsui. In both his subconscious and conscious states, he stayed awake and troubled by something out of this world, which was also nameless. He would sit down on the sofa, turn on the TV afterwards, shut it off and would go walking to and fro. The pattern didn't break off until it was nearly four in the morning. That's when he heard an unmistakable knock on his door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Rukawa." Said the voice from beyond the door. It sounded like it just had a struggle with sleeping too.

"Hold on for a second." Mitsui said and yanked one of the crumpled blankets to wipe his face with it. Having done so, he slowly twisted the knob open, not really knowing what to expect. Was Rukawa paying a visit to accept his apology, at long last?

In any event, he didn't have the chance to express his wonder, for it was curtly followed by something even more alarming. Rukawa's eyes were red and puffy; his hair was tousled, almost indistinguishable. He was paler than his usual hue and his shoulders were shaking. His movements, as he dangerously wangled toward Mitsui, were remarkably restricted. Without a word, he charged forth to Mitsui. Mitsui, not quite equipped with proper reflexes, having been too groggy, didn't have the chance to dodge Rukawa. They fell down on the carpet, producing an audible thud on the floor. Rukawa was still gripping Mitsui's arms with such force that Mitsui began uttering through gritted teeth.

"Rukawa, what's wrong?" he said. "if you don't let go you'll literally pop my veins out."

Rukawa's grip relaxed and slowly, with caution, he inched further away from the senior. His glare was menacing, which made Mitsui back away a foot. Then with no warning at all, Rukawa quickly stuck out his arm to Mitsui's direction, pulled his head closer to him and pressed his lips against the older man's. Mitsui had less than enough time to resist for Rukawa began devouring the insides of his mouth with such rapidity and hunger. All Mitsui could do was to receive his actions, to give in, and obey like a timid child. But it wasn't so for long. The temptation was too great, too near to ignore. Within seconds he too began wrapping his arms around Rukawa, stroking his back randomly and consuming the force of his kiss in equal speed. The longer time drifted, the more morbid their adrenaline became. They began undressing, almost unconsciously. Mitsui could feel Rukawa's tongue on other areas of his body, moist and moving like a snake on the surface of his skin. He felt like moaning, yelling, professing to the world that he had never been so sensually satisfied, but the moment he parted his lips there came Rukawa's violent, starved kisses, overcoming him all over again. They continued in this vein for as long as their bodies wanted, covering up ten years' worth of love-making. At that time, it was the rightest thing to do, not to mention the most characteristic response to the circumstances. There was nothing to stop it.

After what seemed like a prolonged century, Rukawa spoke,

"Why did you ever leave?" he said as he reclined his head on Mitsui's shoulder. All around assumed the quiet before and after a storm.

"I told you. There was nothing for me here." Mitsui whispered.

"Nothing? You thought you didn't have me, is that it?" Rukawa asked. That was it, the one million dollar question.

"It's not that. Not even close. When I left, I also felt like I was leaving everything I ever held holy, you most of all. But it felt so wrong to stay as well. So I left."

"That didn't quite cover it. You should've at least said something to me."

"I would, but at that time I wasn't ready. You were going to be the best player that ever graced this country, while I was no one. Somehow, I felt the need to get a name of my own, to exist somewhere and to have a ground to stand on. Not to vanish in your shadow. I knew I wasn't going anywhere here just by being a half-baked athlete who couldn't stand out. And so I decided what I thought was for the best. Above all, I left because...because I didn't want you to leave me."

"Leave you?" Rukawa said, alerted. "What in hell made you think I'd leave you?"

"I don't know. It was the mere fact of knowing that you would I was scared of. Maybe you wouldn't want to leave me but eventually, sooner or later, you would. Somehow or other, once you've proven anything there is to prove, I knew you'd have no reason to be with me anymore."

Rukawa only let out a low, sardonic laugh. That lopsided grin, that form his eyes were wearing, they all pointed to one thing: that Mitsui ruined everything for nothing. How could he ever think that Rukawa would give him up for anything?

"I just want you to know that I never had anyone else, which is precisely why now I haven't settled down yet. I don't think I ever will." Mitsui said, his voice almost on the verge of cracking down to splinters.

"All those years you never went out with anyone, at all?"

"Ah, I did. It just didn't occur to me to love them as much as I did you."

"Did?" Rukawa raised his eyes to Mitsui as if to bring out the cynic in him and to eventually question his choice of words.

"Did." Mitsui confirmed. "I loved you, you know that."

"Loved me, huh? And when did you stop loving me?" Rukawa said in a tone that was becoming irritated.

Mitsui kept silent. He seemed to have struck the wrong chord or else foiled something that begged to be brought to the limelight. Was Rukawa expecting that Mitsui would say he loved him still, even after the marriage, the separation and all those years?

"So you got over me pretty quick? Just like that you came up with the ingenious decision that you should flag me down?"

"Rukawa, it's pretty hard to put to words. It's like a riddle I don't have an answer to--"

"Are you saying that sometime during your disappearance, you just decided that you made a mistake in loving me? Did you just move on as though you picked an orange over an apple to eat for breakfast? Was I just a swift afterthought? Was it that easy for you?"

"It wasn't. Listen, I didn't say anything like that..."

"But that's just what you're implying." Rukawa sneered. "You're saying that all that is behind us now. Let bygones be fucking bygones. I'm just thinking, why the fuck did you let this happen?"

"Well, I do admit this is consensual. That much I can register." Mitsui grumbled lamely. "I couldn't stop myself. At least you should welcome the fact that I missed you."

"Missed me...that's the best you can say after you screwed me? Jeez, sempai."

"Then what do you want me to say? Do you want me to take you away now? To say I still love you as much as before? Do you think I'm such a lowlife that I'd steal you from your wife? God, in that case, I should be arrested." Mitsui said.

Rukawa held his breath for a long while. Mitsui couldn't read what he was thinking then; whether or not Rukawa was in earnest was out of the equation. For all the world knew, he was full of hate at the present and yet, that hatred wouldn't be in existence unless love was there too.

"I love you, Mitsui. I never stopped loving you and I won't stop, not now or ever." Rukawa whispered. It didn't need any volume to be credible; as he spoke, the magnitude of truthfulness contained within his words were off the scale.

"Rukawa...this is devastating. You love your wife. You're happy, anyone can see that. Why would you replace it with something that is just, ah, inconceivable?"

"What if I don't want to be happy? What if I'd rather be with you and lonely than to be happy with somebody else? What does happiness matter? It's just a lame facade that drives people to their death."

"No, it's not. Rukawa, this is serious." Mitsui caught himself shaking his head in sheer frustration. "You can't--"

"I can't, Mistui-sempai?" Rukawa parroted Mitsui. "I always knew you never gave me so much credit and always put me on the weak camp. Yeah, though that may be, this is the best time to disprove you."

"Rukawa, open your eyes; you can't leave her for ME. That would be crazy, let alone criminal. It wouldn't make the slightest sense and besides, I'm quite sure you'll regret it later on."

"Then what makes sense to you? You suppose there's no sense in my not getting over you all these years? I'll tell you what I think; I think that no other person is that easy to get over, for me. I think that I am perfectly capable of loving other people, even to the point of insanity. But the paradox is obvious: I can never look at them the way I look at you. I could never..."

Rukawa stumbled to a screeching halt. He wanted to say that Mitsui was mainly beyond everyone Rukawa ever thought of touching. Mitsui kept him sane. He would be forever present in Rukawa's being, obdurately imposed on his very mind. He would be there long after everyone else in Rukawa's little world had gone and when Mitsui left, he left a loving, dying heart behind.

"Are you sure about this, Rukawa?" Mitsui said faintly. He had the hardest time sponging off Rukawa's words, but he understood them well enough, at least to the extent that Rukawa never quite got over him.

"Don't get any ideas; I don't regret marrying her." Rukawa replied. "But if I won't have you, I won't have anyone else."

"I see." Mitsui nodded. At long last, he had pieced together the whole scenario. He looked at the window outside; the sun was starting to rise above the horizon. He stroked Rukawa's hair gently, kissing him on occasions. Then he looked at the wall clock and said, "Your wife would be up in a few moments. You'd better go back to her before that happens. I'll see you sometime afterwards."

Without a word, they began putting their clothes on. Rukawa left at around six. Mitsui walked with him toward the door and watched as he disappeared to the corridor. Once alone, Mitsui heard a voice behind him.

"Mitsui."

TBC