A/N: S0 lyk h3r3s 4n updat3 w1th a ch3rry 0n t0p y334a4a4a4ah
TT Sorry. Couldn't resist.
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Akito is so lame.
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She came up to me today and was all n00b.
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"Good morning, Akito."
"Oh h3y Kur3n0 I'm lyk s0o0o0o0o0o hungry, wh4t r w3 g01ng t0 lyk h4vvv 4 br3akfast? I'm s1ck of ur st00pid s0ba s0o0o0o0 I'm g0ing to lyk h4v a gall0n 'a sak3 n wh1skey ye3e4a4ah pass it round 2 m3 none of that che4p stUffff b1ah b1ah b1ah wh1p cream is g00d!11!eleven!11!one-thousand-one-hundred-eleven!11!11
"…"
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Have you ever noticed how I ALWAYS talk about Akito?
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Omfa.
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"Akito! You're my obsession!"
"WTF"
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YOU are my obsession.
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Ew, no, I wasn't talking about you.
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"I was talking about you, Momiji."
"Wheee! (seduces)"
"Momiji, you didn't seduce me! All you did was put the word in parenthesis at the end of your sentence!"
"…(sad)"
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Then later, Rin challenged me to a contest with some of the others.
She said it was impossible not to get syrup on your hands when you eat it, so that's what we did.
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(10 minutes later)
"HAHA! Look at me! I'm the only one who didn't get syrup on their hands, wh0o0o!"
"That's right, Kureno, you didn't. You got it all over your FACE."
"…(cue mascara and angsty look)"
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Stupid Kagura. Someday I'm going to make her eat pork. Muahaha.
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I think I'm going to go get on Hiro's nerves.
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(Goes over to his house)
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"Hiro!"
"What?"
"I PWN YOU"
"You PAWN me?"
"No. Pwn! PWN!"
"Then get your stupid spelling right. It's OWN!"
"Oh, okay. I OWN YOU"
"…"
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I hate Authoress Neptune-san.
She always makes me speak weird.
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Yesterday, I saw Haru eating a burger.
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With EXTRA MEAT, I might add.
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"Haru is that a BURGER"
"Yes. I like burgers."
"B-b-b-b-b-"
"What?"
"The beef…!...meat…!"
"Yes. I, the cow, am eating beef. Now piss off"
"NO! (runs)"
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So then he turned black and murdered me.
But Akito, with her special GOD POWERS, brought me back to life! Yay!
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Haha I mentioned her again!
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What's this?
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Akito's giving me her GOD POWERS?
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Awesome! I can do…whatever I want!
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"Kureno?"
"Yes, Kisa?"
"Can you help me with my homework?"
"(looks at questions) Oh yes. The answer is…the fifth number of the alphabet!"
"…"
"What?"
"There's only letters in the alphabet."
"Oh but of course not, my young and ignorant Kisa. For with my special GOD POWERS, I shall make into existence…THE NUMBERABET!"
"Whoah! COOL!"
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I feel…amazing!
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"Kyo! Eat five pounds of leeks!"
"…(does so)"
"YAY"
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"Hatori! Turn gay!"
"Yes, GOD POWER Kureno! (Turns gay and seduces Yuki)"
"YAY"
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This is SO fun.
I shall now mess with Tohru.
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Tohru! STRIP TEASE FOR AYAME"
"….(does so)"
"(Ayame in utter joy)"
"YAY"
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"I command you, Kyoko Honda, to come back to life!"
"…(comes to life) YAY! I'm ALIVE!"
"(causes another car to run over her)"
"(death)"
"YAY"
"Kureno, you idiot, stop using those "YAY"'s at the end of each accomplishment!"
"Kyoko, you're supposed to be dead."
"Oh. Right. (death)"
"…YAY"
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Eveilness! EVEIL! So evil it must be spelled "EVEIL!"
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"Now that's just stupid."
"Shutup Kyo! I'll make you eat more leeks!"
"I'm Tohru!"
"…(runs)"
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I'm getting bored of this. Hmm.
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Maybe I should just go ask everyone if they still have their virginity.
That would be fun.
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(Cut to responses)
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Rin:
"…"
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Hatori:
"Nope. Lost it to Kana! HAHA! Raped her good."
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Shigure:
But of course it's gone! You wouldn't believe how many times I've ((cut off because Gure-san suddenly had an itch and coincidently had to go to the restroom)).
"You itch too much, Shigure."
"Lyk 1 C4R3 B14TCH"
"…"
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Ayame:
"Oh, well who else would I have lost it to but our precious flower Tohru! Kyonkitchi saw it and almost killed me though, but Yuki came in and SAVED me! Ah, so many times has he crossed the line of true brotherhood, but never seems to lean toward opening that door. SIGH"
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Haru claimed that he was suddenly craving a hamburger, and rushed over to the local McDonald's.
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Kisa:
"I still have it, but Yuki almost took it! He tried to raaaaape meeeee! (cries)"
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Hiro:
"I'm 12 for crying out loud! And just what would you do with this information, anyway?"
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Yuki:
"Oh, pssh. Those stupid fangirls…"
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Kyo:
"It's none of your business, ya damn lech!"
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Kagura:
"He says that, but he really lost it to ME! (Tee hee)"
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Ritsu:
"I AM SOOO SORRY I STILL HAVE IT1!11! I'LL LOSE IT TO WHOMEVER YOU WANT ME TO I AM SOOO SOORREEYY AKITO PUT DISGRACE ON MY NAME11!ONE!"
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Momiji:
"Nuh-uh. It's all gone!"
"HUH? It's GONE?"
"Yep!"
"B-but who did you lose it t-t-to…?"
"A SODA MACHINE."
"…"
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And I lost it to myself!
Wh0o0o0!
I was so good.
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Call me Home Chicken, yo.
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A/N: A strange chapter indeed.