Just a quick little note here: If you don't know who B is, a) READ THE LOS ANGELES BB MURDER CASES (it's really good!) and b) I'll just say now that he likes strawberry jam like L likes his sweets. And yes, this is relevant to this chapter. I stuck him in because... well, cos he's awesome and I didn't have any other ideas!
...
B smiled evilly, watching L reluctantly clean up the mess he had made. So, the great L was rubbish at cooking? Of course, B knew that L would never admit being rubbish at anything, and he intended to take full advantage of this fact. This was going to be so much fun...
"Hey there Ryuzaki." B walked up to L, still smiling. L looked back at him, not smiling. He was in a bad mood. The cleanup had taken him the majority of the day, and the way B was looking at him made him suspect he was up to something. He had that slightly predatory expression that generally meant he was stirring up trouble.
"Hello B. Can I help you at all?" L asked politely.
"Well, you see, I have nothing to do, and I've run out of jam. I've thought of something that would kill two birds with one stone, only I need your assistance."
"What are you thinking of, B?" L was immediately suspicious. B never asked him for help.
"We have strawberries in the kitchen, do we not? And sugar?"
"Yes...?" L hoped that B was not going to say what he thought he was going to say. He did.
"I thought that maybe we could attempt to make some strawberry jam ourselves. It would save me a long trip to the shop, and you look like you have nothing to do. I think it would be... entertaining." For myself, B added silently. L didn't know what to do. The sensible thing to do would be to refuse B's offer, but if he did that B would certainly become suspicious. And the last person he wanted to know about how bad he was at cooking was B.
"Why not ask someone else, B? Maybe ask A, or Near or Watari..."
"They're all busy. You don't seem very enthusiastic about my idea, Ryuzaki. Whyever not? Surely you can cook?" He said this with a sly smile.
"Of course I can cook!" L snapped, then stopped as he realised he had just shouted. "And I'd be happy to help you, but..."
"Oh, so you will help me then? Thank you ever so much. Let's go then." B interrupted, stopping L from making any excuses.
"But I..."
"But nothing. Come on Ryuzaki!"
B entered the kitchen, still smiling. L entered behind him, looking depressed.
"B, do you actually know how to make jam?" He asked, still desperately trying to back out of it. Watari had banned him from the kitchen, and if he was caught in here he was in big trouble. Luckily Watari was out, but he could come back at any time.
"That is what recipe books are for, Ryuzaki." B pulled down a heavy book, and dropped it. It landed on a china teapot, smashing it to pieces.
"Whoops."
"B! That's Watari's teapot! He's going to kill us for that!"
"Well clean it up then! If we get rid of the pieces, he'll just think he left it somewhere and go round looking for it. He'll never know." B flipped open the book, unconcerned. He knew full well it was L who was going to get the blame for whatever happened in the kitchen. L groaned, and went to fetch the dustpan and brush. Meanwhile, B began looking for the ingredients.
"Strawberries... ah! Here they are." He yanked the tub of strawberries out of the fridge, spilling several on the floor. He ignored them, placing the box on the table and accidentally stepping on a few of the strawberries as he did so. L re-entered, holding the dustpan and brush.
"I've got the... AAHH!" Completely unaware of the spilt strawberries, he had stepped on some of them and slipped up. The dustpan and brush flew out of his hand and soared out of the open window behind him as he slammed down to the ground.
"Ow!" shouted a faint voice. L and B ran to the window, and peeked out. An angry looking Mello was rubbing his head and staring at a dustpan and brush on the floor, perplexed. B and L hurried away from the window before he looked up and spotted them. L tried to ignore the voices coming in through the window.
"Mello? Are you alright? What happened?"
"Do I look alright? A dustpan and brush just came flying out of nowhere and hit me on the head!" B laughed quietly.
"Think you ought to go and apologise, Ryuzaki?"
"No! That was your fault, B! Why didn't you pick those strawberries up?"
"... Mello, are you sure that's what happened?"
"YES! Look, I've got the dustpan and brush right here..."
"I didn't notice I'd spilt them. Never mind, we can clean all that up later. I've got the ingredients out, let's start cooking." B said.
"I'm telling the truth! It came from up there and hit me on the head!"
"Why don't we go have a look to see who's up there?" L froze.
"B, they're coming up here!" Even B was worried by that.
"We'd better hide. Mello looked furious, and I don't fancy meeting him in that mood."
The door slammed open and a furious Mello entered the room, followed by Matt.
"No-one here, Mello. Are you sure you weren't just carrying it and slipped up or something?"
"Yes, I'm sure! Maybe it was the next floor up. I'm gonna get whoever did this."
"Yeah, alright." They left the room. L and B breathed a sigh of relief.
"They're gone." B extricated himself from behind the fridge, and smiled. In the hurry to hide, he had ensured that L wasn't going to be comfortable.
"Ryuzaki, you can come out now. They're gone."
"I can't come out on my own! I need some help!" Came a muffled voice. It sounded uncomfortable.
"Really? You mean to say you're stuck?" This was getting better and better.
"I'm not stuck! Get me out, B, please!" The voice was starting to sound panicked now. B sighed.
"Alright. I'll let you out." He opened the lid of the huge freezer in the corner. L climbed out, shivering.
"I-I... asked you... to sw- switch... the freezer off before... before I climbed in there," L said, teeth chattering.
"Whoops. I thought I had. Sorry about that. So, shall we begin?" L groaned. They hadn't even begun cooking yet, and already they'd messed everything up. Surely it couldn't get any worse than this?
It did.
"So, we crush up the strawberries then? Alright." B pounded at the strawberries with a potato masher, obviously enjoying himself. Red juice splattered all over the table and all over the floor.
"Slow down a bit! You're getting..." L looked down at his white shirt, now splattered with strawberry juice, and sighed. "B, may I do this bit?"
"Certainly, Ryuzaki. I don't seem to be very good at doing it tidily." B stepped away, also covered in red spatters. Once again, the kitchen was beginning to look like a murder scene, with red liquid dripping from the table and cupboards. L stepped forwards and held the potato masher, trying to crush the strawberries as slowly as he could to minimize the mess.
"I think they're mashed enough now. Now we add the sugar and a bit of water, and then we heat it."
"Alright!" B tipped the entire bag of sugar enthusiastically into the saucepan with the strawberries in. L watched.
"Erm... are you sure we need that much sugar?" He asked reproachfully. He didn't care about how B's jam turned out; rather about the fact that there was now no sugar left for him to eat. This was a stressful situation, and he needed sugar.
"It doesn't matter really, does it? OK, now we need to heat it..." B turned the heat up to full, and stirred the liquid. L relaxed slightly. The dangerous part was over.
L swallowed. So much for the "dangerous part". He had forgotten that even once they had finished heating the jam, they still had to pour it into the jam jars. Which, needless to say, B was doing a very messy job of.
"Done!" He called cheerfully. L looked at the worktop. It was covered in pools of still liquid jam.
"Great. Now let's put it in the fridge so it can cool and clear this mess up before anyone finds it."
"Alright." B carefully placed the jam jar in the fridge. Then he stopped. "Ryuzaki... we may have a slight problem."
"What?" L asked suspiciously.
"Well, we can clean the jam up easily. But to get rid of the broken teapot, we'll need a dustpan and brush. And Mello has the dustpan and brush..." They looked at eachother.
"You're going to get it," they both said simultaneously.