A/N: Yay, over 1,000 hits and 50+ alerts! I love you, readers :) Thanks for reading.

Thanks to MsSailorman, my beta reader for this fic.

twissstertraci; I wanted to send you the teaser, but PM'ing you was disabled so I couldn't, sorry!

On we go… Sorry, this chapter a little shorter than usual, please forgive me ;)

Chapter 4: To Go or Not To Go

When the elevator doors shut, I finally allowed myself to think.

What the fuck happened in there?

My heart was beating so hard, I feared my ribs would break. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Bella wasn't the person I had imagined her to be at all. I wasn't exactly sure what I had been expecting, but it wasn't this. Maybe some diva rock chick, not a nice, innocent-looking girl in sweatpants.

I'd never had an interview like this before. I had asked a total of what, three or four questions maybe? She had asked me at least as much. As if Bella herself hadn't been enough of a distraction, we had been interrupted two times as well.

What kind of manager leaves his phone on during interviews?

Yeah, a bad one. But he and Bella seemed to get along very well. Very well. Were they like, a thing or something? My stomach actually clenched at that thought. And then, there was her bodyguard. Another guy that didn't act professionally towards her and, again, Bella hadn't seemed to mind that much. Except when he screwed up her hair, maybe.

The lift pinged, signalling I had reached the ground floor, and I got out. I quickly left the building because I didn't feel at ease there.

Yeah, right, like it's the building's fault.

Fine, let's be honest with myself here.

It wasn't the building, nor the interview itself, nor the manager, nor the bodyguard, nor any goddamn other fucking thing I could think of. It was her, Bella. Simple as that. Merely touching her hand twice had made me felt like…I couldn't even properly name it. But I wanted her. A lot.

That I could deal with, but I was freaking out about the fucking need I felt to have her. Need. I had never felt need for a woman before. No, I met women at a bar, gig or whatever, wanted them, had them, and let go of them right after. I didn't do phone calls, I didn't do dates, let alone relationships.

Cullen, you're a real asstard, you fucking man-whore.

Yep, I was. At least, I didn't do that often. I snorted to myself, realising that was a very poor excuse. Besides, that wasn't the problem at hand right now. I wanted – needed – Bella Swan. Like that was ever going to happen.

But my hand still fucking tingled from holding hers. Fuck, I felt like such a girl. I was pretty sure I growled out loud in frustration, because a few strangers I walked-by on the street eyed me strangely. Not really feeling like walking through crowds right now and getting looked at all the time, I quickly turned into an alley.

I took a deep breath and tried to look at things more objectively. I, Edward Cullen, was a journalist working for Revolver Magazine. I had always been professional and had done all my previous assignments very well. I just had an interview with Isabella Swan and she had invited me over to her album release party at which no other press would be present. If interviewing Bella had been a once-in-a-life-time opportunity, how the hell was I going to call this?

No matter what, I had to be there tonight. I had no fucking idea how I was going to deal with these feelings about her, but I simply would have to find a way. I smiled to myself, glad to have made up my mind. The moment I saw the persons getting into a car not too far away from me, that smile disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Bella was tugged under Emmett's arm, wearing huge sunglasses that hid almost half her face. I couldn't read the expression in her eyes, but she looked…tired, defeated. Her shoulders hunched forward a little, like she was carrying an invisible weight on them. I felt uneasy, not liking to see her that way. Emmett held the door for her and she gave him a tiny smile but it was easy to see it was a fake one. He said something to her and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled at him again and this time she meant it. The uneasy feeling I had felt before turned into annoyance.

Admit it, Cullen, you're jealous. Of her bodyguard. You're a fucking loser.

I was a fucking pathetic loser. Fucking screwed. The frustration from before was back again as I watched the black car drive away. This entire situation was a big, fucking mess. I wanted Isabella Swan, the famous singer, and I was a journalist writing about her. Like that would have a future.

Whoa, future?

My thoughts didn't make any sense. I couldn't explain how I felt logically. I just felt so… drawn to her. I wanted all of her, everything. It was so fucking bizarre because I had only just met her today, and we only talked for half an hour. Professionally, I might add.

Had she even noticed anything? Sure, she had been very nice, she had seemed relaxed and we had even laughed a little. I couldn't really explain her mood changes, but that was probably female business I didn't want to get into. But was she feeling as fucked up as I was now? She hadn't seemed all too happy when she left the building.

I snorted to myself. Right, assume that has anything to do with you at all. That Jasper guy had said there were some problems at the venue, she was probably worried about that. I knew I would be if I were her. The only thing of which I could conclude maybe, just maybe, she had felt the same way was when she had winked at me. She had fucking winked at me, and immediately a lot of inappropriate thoughts had popped into my head.

I was nearing a main road again and I held a cab, telling the driver the address of my hotel. I let my head fall back and sighed deeply. I forced myself not to think about a certain hot brunette and focussed on a tune that was developing in my head. I hoped I would still remember it when I got home, so I could work on it on the piano.

"Sir?"

I hadn't realised the taxi had stopped moving until the driver called me. I quickly paid him, leaving him a decent tip. The magazine was paying for my expenses here anyway. I took the stairs up to my room, not in the mood for standing in a crowded elevator. I slammed the door probably a little harder than I should have, then simply stood in the middle of my room, not knowing what to do.

It was decided for me when my cell rang, my mother's name, Esme, flashing on the display.

"Hi, mom."

"Edward! How are you, my boy?"

"I'm fine, mom." I sat down on the bed, knowing calls from my mother usually ended up being long. She still wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself while she wasn't around. Incredibly annoying, but I guess it was sweet too, in a way. "How's everything over there? How's dad?"

"Oh, the usual. Working long shifts at the hospital and all that." She paused for a moment. "Did you have the interview already?"

"Yeah, I did. I just got back, actually." Great, now my thoughts returned to Bella again.

I guess I fell silent too long, because my mother sounded impatient when she spoke up again. "Aaand?"

"It…uh, I guess it went… alright. She invited me to the album release party tonight." I hesitated for a moment, knowing my mother usually figured me out right away and I didn't need her to know how confused I was feeling. "She wasn't what I had expected her to be."

"O-oh. Is that good or bad?"

"Definitely good. She seemed a good person, not arrogant or anything. I don't meet people like that a lot anymore. She asked me about my music when she found out I wrote some myself, and she seemed genuinely interested in the answer. She even asked her manager to give me more time when our time was up."

Yes, that is definitely how you not inform your mother about your confusing feelings concerning Bella. Moron.

"She sounds nice."

"Yeah, she is."

"You're going to that party tonight then, huh?"

"Yep. I'm the only journalist they asked, so it's definitely something exclusive for the mag."

"Mmhmm. Is that the only reason why you're going?"

She knew. She had figured it out, exactly like I had expected. I had hoped otherwise though. Ah well, maybe some womanly advice wouldn't hurt. Handling feelings wasn't really a part of the Y-chromosome, right?

"Yes. No. Maybe…not."

When she didn't respond, I hesitated whether I should continue or not. "She…I don't know."

"Tell me, Eddie-boy."

I groaned when she used the nickname she had given me years ago. "Mooom." I was aware that I sounded like a whining little brat.

"Six and a half hours of labour, dear. I can call you whatever I want."

I smiled at her comment for a moment, then turned serious again. "I'm pretty… confused about this. There…we…I…It's hard to explain." I shifted on the bed, picking the covers unconsciously. "We had a connection, you know. Fuck, I sound like a girl."

"Language, Edward." My mother said, using her stern voice with me.

"Sorry, mom."

"You like her?"

I thought for a moment, then decided on a yes. But I didn't need to inform Esme about that. "I guess, but I don't actually know her. I have to write about her, I can't… We can't…I don't even know if…Ugh." I was frustrated all over again. "Listen, mom…I want to go exercise a little before I have to get ready for tonight."

"Okay, dear. Take care."

"You, too. Tell dad I said hi?"

"I will." I could hear the smile in her voice. "And, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sure you can get to know her if you want to. If she invited you while she doesn't like press at all, she must have a different reason than inviting you as a journalist."

I didn't respond to that and said my goodbye, promising my mother to call her again soon. I threw my cell on the nightstand because I wouldn't be needing it at the hotel gym and searched through my suit case for sports clothes. I quickly changed and headed out to the gym to work off some of my frustration.

A/N: Here's what I'm going to do concerning the teasers; If you leave me a review, please let me know if you want a teaser, seeing not all of you want them. If you don't mention it, I won't send you anything.

I'm currently working on an E/B one-shot as well. I hope to finish it before the end of this week, so add me to you author alerts if you want to get a notification when it's up. I'm still looking for a beta reader for it, so anyone with a beta profile here on FF willing to beta? Let me know :)