Disclaimer: I am so not Kate Brian, so don't sue me. I not own anything I put in here :(

I turned my head back around but ran into something or rather someone. The force knocked me off my balance and I was falling backwards, but two strong arms caught me before I could hit any body part against the cold ground. I recognized the scent immediately and looked up to see Josh Hollis staring back at me.

Great.

As Josh's arms stayed firmly around my waist, my thoughts became completely jumbled. I can't even think straight when he is around me like this! My eyes locked with his and my heart started to beat uncontrollably in my chest. The emotion in his eyes was indescribable and as soon as I thought that, something flashed through them, as if he realized what he was doing.

His tight grip loosened from my body and he stepped back. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him and breathe in his scent. I wanted to put my face in the warm spot between his head and neck just like I used to. But of course I held my feet firmly in place and waited for him to say something about having to go meet Ivy. Damn her.

"Sorry, I should have been watching where I was going," he apologized and walked right past me, barely meeting my eyes. I turned around and watched as he speed walked to Ketlar. What the hell was that? I actually thought we had a moment there. Why doesn't he see that we have something between us, or was it not the same for him? Did he actually love Ivy?

I pushed that thought out of my mind, not willing myself to believe it. He couldn't love her, he just couldn't. My phone beeped one more time and I couldn't bring myself to pull it out of my pocket. What if it was my brand new stalker? And how did they get my phone number anyway? The phone stopped and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

I finally realized I was standing in the middle of the quad and freezing my ass off. The heat left behind by Josh vanished and my teeth started chattering. I quickly walked to the first building I saw. The library.

My tense muscles uncoiled as I breathed in the scent of the wood. I walked farther in and looked at the scene before me. The dark chocolate brown wood bookcases lined the whole room filled with endless amounts of books. The comfy chairs looked so inviting I walked over and pretty much collapsed in the over cushioned chair.

There were two guys at the tables hunched over books not paying any attention to me. I felt finally at peace and closed my eyes. My phone vibrated in my pocket once more and my eyes snapped open. This wasn't an email or text message, it was a phone call. The extra buzzes confirmed that. I got up and ran to the stacks in the very back of the library so no one could hear what I was about to do.

I sucked in a breath hoping to gain confidence from it and pulled it out of my pocket. The name UPTON flashed across the screen. I did two things when I saw his name; one, thanked God for not having it be my stalker and two, started feeling guilty about what I had to do. Break up with him, officially. I didn't feel anything for him, it was nothing compared to what I felt with Josh.

I pressed talk and mentally prepared myself for this break up, hopefully he'll take it well.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone. I was surprised my voice came out normal and not the quivering mess I thought would appear.

"Reed. You have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice," Upton spoke sexily into the phone. Curse his accent, it was working against what I was about to do.

"Upton, I think we need to talk," I said sadly. He must have heard something change in my tone and the words clicked with him.

"You're dumping me aren't you?" Upton said rather harshly. His voice softened and he spoke again, "I thought we were going to see what happened, and it's only been a day. You just miss me that's all, and you're not thinking straight."

"No, Upton, I'm thinking perfectly fine. I finally came to my senses and realized what you really are, a player," I spoke up with confidence in my voice. I would go down in Upton Games' history for doing this.

"It's over, Upton. I don't love you. I finally realize I love something else and no one can change that," I thought about Josh and how I wanted him and only him. I loved everything about him. His blue-green eyes, his hair, the intoxicating scent that followed him everywhere, and the way there were paint splatters on almost every piece of clothing he owned.

"It's Sawyer, isn't it?" He accused with disgust in his voice. Wow, mood swing. But wait, did he say Sawyer? He thought I loved Sawyer? I mean Sawyer and I were close but in a brother/ sister sort of way. He was the person I could vent to, just like I did with Scott when we were younger. Scott would listen to my feelings about our pill popping mom we once had.

Sawyer and I just had the prospect of losing people we love to vent about. But really, he thought I loved Sawyer!?

Upton's mocking laugh flowed out of the receiver. He laughed like he couldn't believe I would actually fall for someone like that.

"Have fun with that mental case, Reed," Upton mocked and hung up. Screw him. What an arrogant asshole! I dropped my phone out of my sweaty hand and sat on the floor. I closed my eyes and tried to disappear. All I wanted to do was disappear.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I skipped my first few classes, not caring if I was missing something big. When I saw the clock on the wall ticked to 11:30 I decided it was about time to go back to reality. I picked myself up and felt my joints popping from sitting too long. My butt was numb and I was starving. My mind flashed back to the last time I wanted a lot of food. The island.Need food now. Right now. I don't want this feeling anymore.

I walked out of the library and the glaring sun hurt my eyes; just like it did when you walk out of a movie theater. Maybe I spend more time in there than I thought. I was halfway across the quad when Noelle found me.

"Reed! Where the hell have you been!? I thought I said to go nowhere alone!" Noelle hissed at me. Her brown eyes were filled with anger but mostly concern.

"Sorry, I just kind of snapped. I needed to be alone for a little bit," I said in a calm tone.

"Did the person contact you again?" she asked lowly, pulling me to a stop. I didn't want to say it out loud so I just nodded. "Let me see it," she whispered and I glanced to see her eyes. They looked like she wanted to murder the person who was doing this to me. Go ahead Noelle, I thought, just cover your tracks.

I slipped my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. She read it and then proceeded to flip through my calls. She paused and raised an eyebrow when she saw the call from Upton.

"You ran off to call Mr. I Screw Every Girl I See? Why couldn't you just come to me? You know, your best friend," she pointed out. She had a point at the nickname for him.

"I didn't run off to call him, he called me. I just had to finish some business, technically dumping his British ass," I confessed to her. She smirked and handed me my phone back. She didn't say anything about the message but there was something unreadable in her eyes. She had a plan.

"I never thought you had it in you, but you may be the first in history to dump Upton Giles. And that is something I thought I would never see happen," she laughed and started walking toward the cafeteria again.

"Let's just say I finally came to my senses," I muttered mostly to myself but she must have heard it.

"Finally," she said sarcastically. She blocked my path to the door and spoke again, "And did a certain someone influence this 'coming to my senses' excuse?" She tilted her head toward Josh walking toward us with his head down.

Am I that easy to read? Is it that obvious I still have feelings for him?

"Maybe," I muttered mysteriously and stepped around her to get out of the excruciating cold.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rest of the day went on without any messages from my stalker. Or none I knew off because I shut my phone off. I am so turning into a chicken.

After the final bell of the day rang I was gathering my stuff to put in my bag when the professor came up to me.

"Reed, Headmaster Hathaway wants to speak to you in his office right away," he said with a grim smile, like he knew what was going to happen to me. Okay…weird.

Ten minutes later I found myself sitting in the warm office of Mr. Hathaway. The dark wood contrasted well with the newly painted burnt orange walls. I guess he was going for a homey look when he expelled people from the school.

"Reed, I called you here to see how you were doing," he said in a concerned voice. Oh, how I'm doing? Well, I'm absolutely fine. I just lost my home, thanks to you by the way, I was recently trying to be killed and I have a new stalker. I'm fabulous. But I didn't say that out loud. I was supposed to be mad at him for tearing down Billings.

"Fine," I said coldly while looking at the roaring fire place.

"I know you're upset with the decision on Billings but I had no choice," he spoke again. No choice!? Of course you had a choice, specifically the one saying 'NO'!! If he wasn't the one who could kick me out of here I would so have yelled at him, but there is no way I'm heading back to Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania now.

I kept my lips in a tight line and waited until he let me out of there. The rest of the conversation included 'it was the best for the school' and my favorite, 'I was put under a lot of pressure and finally caved'. Jerk. When I was excused I walked out into the hallway and headed toward the door of Hell Hall. I finally decided to turn on my phone and wait for the hell I had to face. Joy, let's get stalked. FUN!! I shoved it in my pocket like I always do and I just finished wrapping my scarf around my neck when I ran into someone for the second time that day. I looked up and was about to apologize until I saw who it was.

Josh. Didn't this happen before? We were always running into each other, literally. Was the universe trying to tell us something?

"I think I really need to start watching where I walk," he laughed breaking some of the tension between us.

"Yeah, same here," I said lamely. I was about to walk past him to open the door when his hand grabbed my upper arm.

"Wait," Josh said, "can we talk?" His eyes searched mine and they pleaded for me to say yes.

"Sure," I said hesitantly. I don't want this to end up in another yelling and crying scene.

He pulled me to the lobby of Hell Hall and then sat down on one of the tan leather couches. He patted the space next to him and I slowly sat next to him. I looked at my hands and tried to think straight with him sitting so close.

"I heard about the guy you were seeing over break," Josh suddenly said. I snapped my head up to the statement he just made. This is what we were going to talk about. Wait. Was he jealous? I tried to lock eyes with him, but he was the one looking away now. Damn, if I could just see his eyes I could see how he really felt.

"Oh, I sort of broke up with him. He was just a fling and nothing more. I don't think it would have lasted either," I said softly. Josh turned his head and met my eyes. They had some hurt, relief and some….hope? Hope? "How did you know about that?" I questioned. Noelle wouldn't have said anything, I know she wouldn't. Maybe Gage? Or worse….

"Ivy," he muttered. Ah. Why would she tell him about me? Wouldn't that be a little weird? Just like, 'Oh, I was talking to your ex-girlfriend today after she almost got killed a week earlier, and she said she met someone. What do you think about that?'

"I'm sorry, Reed. I just….I should have called you when I promised I would. And I should have checked it to see if you were okay. It's what a friend would do," he apologized. It's what a friend would do kept running through my mind. Did he want to be just friends? If he did, I don't think friends look at each other the way he was looking at me right then.

"It's okay, I guess," I said. It was so not okay but I didn't feel like yelling at him.

"No it's not, I just…I'm sorry," he apologized again.

"Josh," I said. It felt so good to say his name. "It's okay, really. With everything that has happened, it's easy to forget. I understand. And I'm not mad. After all of this I think I need a little more live in the moment stuff; because you never know when it can be your last. More of not living in the past and a little forgive and forget is okay too."

"I am so glad you are okay. You have no idea how glad I am," Josh said softly. His voice was full of emotion and it sounded thankful that I didn't get hurt. Or hurt worse. I decided to change the subject to ask a question I really wanted the answer to.

"Josh, before, at Kiran's pre-party, what were you going to talk to me about? Was it the gift I got you?" I said in a rush. It hurt to think about that night. That horrible night.

"The gift, yes. I wanted to thank you. It brought back that memory of us painting together. I loved them and it made me think about some things," he smiled as he thought of us splattering paint at each other across his tiny room. The good old days. What did he think about? Us?

"What kind of things?" I almost whispered.

"Things that I was too stupid to think about before but there're back. I mean, they always were there, just a little tainted at the time," Was he talking about his feelings. Love? Hate? Ugh, you have no idea what you do to me Joshua Hollis!!!

Josh's eyes locked with mine once more and I couldn't look away. I was captivated. My hands started to sweat, my heartbeat picked up speed, and my mouth went dry. The place where his knee was touching mine was sending electricity through me. I think I just feel in love with him all over again.

Josh was about to speak again but the phone I just turned on ten minutes ago started to play the special ring I sent to the unknown number. My phone started playing the chorus of Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-paparazzi

Sort of fitting, I thought when I set it. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and saw the new text. I knew I had to look at it and the "person" might get pissed if I didn't. I didn't want to leave Josh but I can't put anyone else in danger with this if I don't follow directions with this psycho.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said sadly. "Can we finish this later?"

Josh looked upset. He wanted me to stay here. Oh here I go again, ditching him just like I did when we used to go out. Great.

"Yeah," he announced, "I'll find you later."

I caught the sadness in his voice. Did he want me as much as I wanted him? Let's just hope so. I stood up and started to walk away. I felt Josh's eyes following me and I sucked in a breath and clicked open the text from person who was ruining my life.

A/N: Sorry I didn't update last weekend!! I went to Wicked at 1:30 and then had to write a comparison paper in Honors English. Yuck.

This is 10 pages!! 10 pages!! So can you review please?? I worked really hard and I would really like it.

Oo I started a new book and I fell in love with it. It's called The Book of Luke by Jenny O'Connell. It is soo good. And I know it doesn't have Josh or Reed but it is soo good. Check it out!

So review and you may get another 10 page update next week……

Love ya, Nicole