A/N: WARNING: Suicide themes, self-harm, psychosis, and other such angst.
From the journal of Doctor Hestia Rae, Elysium medical station:
Doctor's log: Day 36: 14:23 Galactic Standard Time
I am concerned for the psychological wellbeing of one of my patients. CT-8611 has displayed a number of erratic behaviors since he arrived last week – including, but not limited to, panic attacks, night terrors, violent fits of rage, excessive rambling and suicidal tendencies. Just this morning, he attempted to stab one of the other patients in the eye with a fork when said patient grabbed his shoulder suddenly. It took three seasoned ARCs to restrain him while his victim was wheeled off to get the gouges on his cheek treated. Las Ren has informed me that another incident like this will result in 11's reconditioning, despite the protests of myself and the other doctors attending to him.
A psychological analysis of the patient has revealed a critically severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder, manic depression, severe anxiety and antisocial behaviors. Though a test has not yet been run concerning them, I believe that he may also be suffering from visual and auditory hallucinations – but as of yet, this is pure speculation. I do know that these suicidal behaviors he is displaying are not common among clone troopers (due, no doubt, to the unusually strong survival instincts which the Kaminoans have written into their genetic code). It raises some questions as to what factors have driven 11 to this point.
Doctor Rand believes that 11 is a lost cause, but I am not willing to give up on him just yet. With proper care, I am confident that he can still be brought up to par, if only that stupid Kaminoan will give him the chance.
XXX
Doctor's log: Day 39: 15:35 Galactic Standard Time
Patient CT-8611 attempted to slit his wrists with a shard of glass that he found in the mess this morning. One of the other patients managed to get it away from him before he could hurt himself, but the question remains as to what triggered this outburst in the first place. He has not shown any such behaviors for several days – what, then, could have initiated it?
The clone who saved him, CT-6292, has informed me that CT-8611 is not the first in his legion to demonstrate such behaviors. 92 has claimed that in his time serving alongside 11, five or six other troopers has fallen victim to similar states of psychosis – and these are only the ones in which the illness was obvious. He also claimed that only one of them was treated successfully. Whether or not these claims have merit is another matter, and I fully intend to look into this. I'm not about to give up on him.
XXX
Doctor's log: Day 44: 19:30 Galactic Standard Time
A routine checkup of patient CT-8611 has unearthed an alarming discovery. A preliminary analysis of the skin on 11's arms has shown us the presence of numerous cuts and lacerations all along the length of the limb, none of which were there when he arrived here two weeks ago. These slices appear to have been caused by a razor blade or other such sharp metal instrument. A search of the patient's meager personal effects has yielded no sign of such an object in his possession – nevertheless, a fourth in-depth search of the patient's room is scheduled for this evening around 2100 hours.
I recently contacted 11's commanding officer, one General Krell, for information regarding CT-8611's overall mental health. I had hoped that Krell could help me identify the cause of the psychological damage on the trooper; however, the general was less than cooperative, stating, and I quote, that "issues of mental health cannot apply to CT-8611 as clone troopers have no real minds to begin with". This response is troubling at best, and potentially incriminating at worst. If that is Krell's opinion of clone troopers in general, then 11's condition is hardly surprise.
I will investigate this matter further when I have the time. No Jedi general will be permitted to traumatize my patients, if I have anything to say about it!
XXX
Doctor's log: Day 48: 17:06 Galactic Standard Time
An examination of the last year's medical logs has provided me with some vital information. Over the past standard year, this station has treated approximately 243,000 injured clone troopers. Of those 243,000, 32 have displayed psychological damage/disorders at the same or near the same intensity as CT-8611's. Of those 32, 25 have been from Krell's unit – and of those 25, only 3 recovered enough to return to active service. Of the remaining twenty-two, twelve took their own lives and ten were reconditioned.
I presented this evidence to Las Ren in the hope of him permitting an investigation on Krell, but the Kaminoan refused to do anything about it. It is almost as if he wants my patient dead.
Meanwhile, CT-8611's condition continues to worsen, with no sign of recovery anytime soon. I fear that if Ren continues to refuse action, we may lose him after all.
XXX
Doctor's log: Day 51: 6:51 Galactic Standard Time
CT-8611's body was found hanging from the ceiling of his room at 0330 this morning. Apparently, he tied his bed sheets together into a noose and looped it over the edge of a shelf in his room, hoisting it up and snapping his neck in the process. His brothers requested that his body be given to them to deal with in their own way, but Las Ren has denied them this small action. 11 has been sent off to be dissected, his organs harvested for transplant purposes, after which his remains are to be incinerated.
My requests on launching an investigation concerning Krell continue to be denied, and with 11 gone it seems unlikely that either the Senate or the Jedi Council will heed anything I have to say on the matter, anyway, without the evidence provided by my patient's condition. If this is how the Republic treats those who are meant to protect it, do I really want any part of it? I ask for time and I am rejected. I ask for justice and receive a rebuttal. If this is how Republic soldiers are treated, what will happen to the civilians? How far will this go?
I can do no good to anyone floundering under these regulations like some pathetic little puppet. If I want to help clones like CT-8611 in the future, I may have to take matters into my own hands.
I will present Ren with my resignation tomorrow. It's time for me to help these boys on my own terms, and no self-righteous Kaminoan overlord or verbally abusive Jedi General is going to stop me.