Hey guys, so here's the newest chapter :D I'd like to say thanks you so much to everyone who has followed/favourited/reviewed, it honestly means the world to me. Thanks :)
"Rachel." A hand grabs her arm as she makes to leave the auditorium and, seeing the flash of a red Cheerios uniform, she turns expecting to look into Brittany's blue eyes. But instead, she encounters hazel ones, and that same smile she saw for the first time on Saturday. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Rachel glances at the door and tries to work out if she'll make it. She won't.
"Sure, come to my car." Quinn shuffles awkwardly.
"Could we not talk here?"
"There's nobody here." Rachel points out.
"Exactly, it's kind of private." Quinn notices Rachel slowly edging away from her and realises how she must have come off. "I'm not going to hurt you or anything, I promise."
"You promise?" Rachel looks at her as if she's insane. "Forgive me for not wanting to find out whether you're a woman of your word." Her words sound more biting than she intended them to be, but she sticks by what she said anyway. Quinn waits a long time before answering.
"You're scared of me?"
"I'm not scared of what you'll say to me anymore, I'm immune to you calling me names you've been doing it that long. But am I afraid that you could hurt me if you wanted to? Yes, you're taller than me, as you've never hesitated to point out."
"I wouldn't hurt you." Quinn quietly murmurs, losing her HBIC air as her volume drops.
"You've been slushied before, can you look me in the eyes and say it doesn't hurt?" Quinn shakes her head, being hit by a slushie is painful, not only physically but mentally. "So we'll talk in my car?" Quinn has seen Rachel being bossy and overbearing, but she never imagined she'd have the nerve to talk to her like this. "That is, if you can be seen getting into a car with me without ruining your reputation." Quinn straightens, glad that Rachel has given her a challenge to rise to.
"Please, I'm Quinn Fabray." She snorts. "My reputation's safe."
"Good, then follow me." Quinn walks with Rachel to the parking lot, neither girl saying a word until they get there. As Quinn sits down in the passenger seat, she instinctively inhales the pleasant smell deeply. It's the scent she picks up when Rachel passes her in the corridor or twirls by her when they're performing in glee, only it's magnified to the point of being intoxicating.
Rachel watches her for a minute, pleased that Quinn agreed to join her in the car. She chose this location because it meant she would have the safety of people milling around, but they aren't close enough to give Quinn stage fright and chicken out of what she has to say.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"I...there's kind of a whole list of things to be honest." Quinn starts, but finds herself struggling to say something that should really be easy.
"If it helps Quinn, I won't tell anyone what you tell me. I mean, who's going to take my word against yours?"
"Good point." Quinn laughs, glad that Rachel's making an effort to relieve the tension. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Rachel's expression is unreadable.
"For?" Quinn stays silent. "Come on Quinn, it's not a very hard question. Are you sorry for bullying me for years? Sorry for making sure I had as few friends as possible? sorry for fucking with me this Saturday?" Rachel seems angry, but in control of her rage at the same time.
"I...all of it I guess..."
"You guess? Right, well that's really nice to know. Your sincere and heartfelt apology is fully accepted, now get out of my car please."
How has this gone so badly?
"I'm trying to apologise here Berry." Quinn responds, raising her voice to match the brunette's.
"Well you're not doing a great job of it." They both look each other fiercely in the eyes before dissolving into laughter.
"Start again?" Rachel offers, and Quinn knows straight away that the little diva is a better person than she is, because she never gave Rachel one chance, let alone two.
"Please." Quinn takes a deep breath. "Look Berr...Rachel. After everything with Beth I...I did some thinking. Well, a lot of thinking about the person I am, or maybe was, but still kind of am I guess." She shrugs. "I don't really know exactly what I'm trying to say here, but here's what I do know. Firstly, I'm really ashamed of how I've treated you all these years. In fact, ashamed doesn't even cut it, there is no word to sum it how awful I feel, but I bet the way I feel isn't as horrible as the way I made you feel, right?"
Rachel tosses her hair and looks out the window at students goofing around and making their way out. Then she looks back at Quinn.
"You used to make me feel so small, like I was nothing, and we both know that being nothing is one of my worst fears. But you know what? Every day you put me down it hurt a little less, and now I'm stronger. When someone tosses a smart comment my way I smile at them and I mean it, because every horrible thing that's been said to me at this school has made my skin a bit thicker, and in my inevitable career in show business, that's going to be very useful. So don't beat yourself up about it Quinn, you did me a favour."
"That doesn't mean it was okay." Rachel has never seen Quinn being so open and honest, and can only put it down to the lack of their peers being around to judge her. "It was a horrible, horrible thing for me to do and I don't deserve your acceptance, let alone your forgiveness, but I just wanted to know that I'm so, so sorry." With Quinn being so vulnerable, Rachel decides to do something she would never do normally: she takes Quinn's hand.
"All you need to do to deserve me forgiveness is apologise and mean it, which you've done, so your apology is accept." Quinn looks up at her from beneath her lashes.
"You should hate me." She says, quietly.
"I probably should." Rachel laughs. "But I don't." They maintain eye contact for a long time before Rachel finally breaks it. "Wow." She laughs. "This has got a lot more intense than I thought it would be. How about you come back to my house and we talk about it over a cup of coffee?" Quinn gives her a shy smile and Rachel feels her heart melting a little bit.
"You're not scared of me?"
"Not anymore." Rachel smiles. "Do you want to follow me back?"
"My car's at the shop, I got a lift here this morning."
"I'll drive you then." Rachel starts up the car. After Quinn's open confession, she's worried of an awkward atmosphere developing. However, Rachel keep up a constant flow of chit-chat about Glee club and various other things until they reach the house, which Quinn discovers, isn't that far from her own.
"How come I never noticed that you live so close to me?" She muses out loud. Rachel blushes slightly and answers.
"Because I always planned when I would go home to make sure it wouldn't clash with when you did." Quinn feels a wave of guilt and shame crash over her and she turns a darker shade of red than Rachel.
"Rachel I'm..."
"You're sorry, I get it." For the first time Rachel seems bitter and they both notice it. "I'm sorry Quinn, that was uncalled for..."
"No." Quinn interrupts her. "It was highly understandable."
"I have forgiven you." Rachel assures her. "It just sometimes takes a while for old feelings to go away entirely I guess." Quinn nods that she understand, which she truly does, even if it saddens her a bit.
"Let's go inside." Rachel suggests. Quinn follows her into the beautifully decorated house. She had suspected the interior design would be flawless with Rachel having two gay Dad's and that. "It's kind of hot for coffee," Rachel declares, throwing her car keys into a bowl in the middle of the kitchen table. "What can I get you to drink?"
"Water would be great." Quinn says, only noticing now how dry her throat is. Rachel pours two glasses of water and sits down at the table, gesturing for Quinn to do the same.
"So how about we get started on the next item on your list?" Quinn nods slowly, taking a sip of water.
"I know this is a ridiculously long shot and I don't deserve to even ask you this but..." Quinn looks down at her hands. "I was wondering if there's maybe a chance of us someday being friends?" A humorous smile twitches at Rachel's lips?
"What's so funny?"
"I'd have never in a million imagined you asking me that." Quinn has to laugh as well when Rachel points the out.
"Me either." She agrees. "But I'm not above begging."
"You'd beg to be friends with RuPaul?" She said it in a light, joking fashion, but she notices Quinn wincing at the use of the nickname. "I'm only joking, of course we can be friends. But Quinn?" Her voice takes on a serious note. "Don't make me regret it."
"I won't." Quinn promises. Rachel once again decides that the conversation has become very serious, and chooses to give Quinn a break from her emotions, knowing how hard she finds it to express them.
"How about a movie?"
"Huh?" Quinn appears to be surprised by the random idea.
"That's what friends do right?" Rachel smiles.
"Sure." Quinn smiles back. "That sounds good."
"Well you go into the living room and pick a movie, I'll get some snacks."
"Sure." Quinn says again, not completely understanding why Rachel's being so nice to her. She makes her way into the living room and randomly selects a film, with no real idea what it's about. She puts it on and sits down on the sofa to wait.
"Good choice." Rachel sits down right next to her, even though they have two sofas at their disposal, and presses play. Quinn feels her breath catch a little bit when, less that five minutes into the movie, Rachel rests her head against the cheerleader's shoulder. Then her whole body is leaning against Quinn's. She sits up suddenly.
"I feel I should warn you, I'm a very tactile person. If you would rather I minimise body contact with you I won't take offence..."
"It's fine." Quinn answers, maybe a little bit too quickly. She reinforces her point by putting an arm around Rachel and letting the smaller girl cuddle up to her. "I'm used to Brittany, it doesn't get much more tactile than her."
The movie plays but Quinn doesn't pay any attention to it. All she can think about is how nice it feels to hold Rachel like this. And how it shouldn't feel nice. It's one thing to have sex with Brittany and Santana because she has needs and can't risk another pregnancy. It's also okay to not mind cuddling Brittany, or even Santana, when they're upset. But it's just wrong to just want to sit and watch a movie whilst embracing a girl she thinks she might possibly like as more than a friend. Isn't it?
"Rachel I..." Quinn retracts her arm and Rachel sits up to look at her.
"Something wrong?" She pouts slightly, and without even registering it, Quinn thinks, God I want to kiss those lips so badly. She shakes herself and suddenly feels disgusted. Where the fuck did that come from? What's wrong with you Quinn?
"Quinn?" Rachel's voice is so soft it's barely audible and suddenly her dark brown eyes meet Quinn's hazel ones. Before either of them know what's happening, they're leaning into each other, their lips slowly getting closer and closer together.
"Rachel honey." The sound of her Dads voice makes them both spring apart and Quinn awkwardly gets to her feet, grabbing her school bag and planning her excuse for leaving. "I'm home." Her escape gets blocked by a tall, muscled black man wearing a smile. A smile that soon fades slightly.
"Quinn Fabray?" His tone of voice make her aware that he knows who she is and what she's done.
"Mr Berry, it's nice to meet you." She extends her hand and, to her relief, he shakes it, remaining coldly polite. "I was, um...just on my way out."
"I think that's for the best." He agrees.
"Daddy!" Rachel exclaims. "Don't be so rude."
"No, your Dad's right." Quinn agrees, edging her way around Rachel's Dad. "I'll see you at school."
"I'll see you out." Rachel follows her, shooting daggers at her father. "Ignore him." She tells Quinn at the door. "He's just, well, you know. He forgets his manners sometimes."
"I'm not offended." Quinn reassures her. "I would be totally the same in his situation. In fact, I'd almost definitely be worse."
"We can talk tomorrow okay?"
"Yeah." Quinn agrees, letting Rachel lean over and kiss her on the cheek. As she's walking down the drive, she turns back and looks over her shoulder. "I had one more thing to tell you." She says. "I know I've made you feel ugly a lot, but I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."