Puck sat on his little bed in his dorm room, staring at the flashing lights on the little tree he'd nabbed off some clearance shelf two days ago. It was Christmas Eve, his favorite day of the year, even if he didn't celebrate the holiday as part of his own religion. He was a proud Jew, but there was something about the promise of good tidings and frosted cookies and familial warmth that just made the day special. Then again, maybe it was because it had always been the one holiday he spent with Finn. It had been his favorite too.

He had been thinking about skipping out of town for the day, just driving until he ran out of gas and then holing up in some sad motel with a bottle of Jack until the 26th. And then he thought about the way Finn's face used to light up when his mom would pull out the Christmas ornaments when they were kids and Puck just wanted anything familiar. He still missed his best friend every single day, but today, he seemed to miss him most of all.

A glance at his watch indicated that it was time to get going. The rest of the dorms were deserted, pretty much closed down for the break. Puck had been one of a few students to stay behind to keep an eye on things, a reprieve he was thankful for because he didn't really want to go back to sharing a bathroom and a bedroom wall with his little sister. He tucked three small packages into the oversized pockets of his leather jacket and then headed out into the brisk December night to make the short drive across town.

"Well, hello there, Puck," Burt announced when Puck knocked on the door fifteen minutes later. The younger man ducked his head a little before following Mr. Hummel into the warmth of the spacious living room. Carole's face lit up as she looked up from her cup of coffee on the couch. Puck could see a football game on the big screen playing over her shoulder. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"I was," Carole murmured as she set her mug down on the end table and made her way over to hug her honorary son. Puck squeezed her tightly, burying his face in the soft material of her read sweater. She still smelled the same way that she always had, like cinnamon and laundry detergent and the astringent they used at the hospital. "Noah has never missed a Christmas Eve with us, have you, hon?"

Puck shook his head. "Not a single one, Mom," he agreed before placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I actually have something for you both."

"Puck, you didn't have to get us anything," Burt said as he led his wife and the younger man back into the living room. Puck sat down on the sofa opposite Carole while Burt took his place in his favorite chair.

"But you know that I have something for you under that tree," Carole smiled. She always made sure that his name on was on her shopping list. Finn had always insisted, even that lost year when they weren't talking because of the whole Quinn debacle. It made up for the years that Puck's own mom couldn't do much for him. Even if it wasn't much, it always reminded him that the Hudsons cared.

"I have something for Kurt too but I'll give it to him in a little bit. I want you to open yours first," he told Burt before pulling out two packages. He handed a small bag with red and silver jingle bells on it to him. "It's not much but I hope you still like it."

Pushing away at the tissue paper, Burt slowly pulled out a silver engraved frame. It was the one that Finn had showed Puck that summer. "He saw it in a catalog and thought it'd look good on your desk in DC," Puck explained. He watched Burt trace his fingers over the words, The Hudmels, and grin fondly. There was a somewhat blurry photo of the four of them standing in front of the Capitol building on one of the few rare weekends they all ended up in Washington together. "I found the photo in his desk drawer. You can change it out of if you have a better one."

Burt bit down on his bottom lip to push back the tears threatening to fall. "No, it's wonderful," he almost chuckled. He was in the middle of the two boys, his arm thrown around Finn's shoulder and his lips pressed to Kurt's temple. Carole was in front of him, Finn's arm reaching down to hold his mother's hand while Kurt's own hand reached across her body to cover their hands with his own. "It's absolutely perfect."

The three of them shared a content smile when Kurt came ambling into the room. "Puck?"

"Hey, Beyonce," Puck smirked. "Do you have a minute? I have something I want to give you."

"Uh, yeah, sure," he answered wearily after looking over at his father. "We'll be downstairs."

Puck followed Kurt downstairs to the basement, taking in the room that had once belonged half to Finn. Sam was still staying with the Hudsons and had taken over Finn's half of the room when he'd moved into the dorms with Puck. A few of Finn's things were now on Kurt's side of the room, including a trademark jacket that caught Puck's eye. "You got it back from San?"

"Mr. Schue actually," Kurt smiled softly. He watched as the boy fingered the leather and pressed his face into the scratchy wool. "I still imagine that I can smell him there too. I can't though, you know?"

Puck nodded sadly as he crossed over to sit at Kurt's vanity. He was starting to lose those little things in the dorm room one by one. The coffee cup was still there, though. It seemed silly to leave it but Puck still wasn't ready to full admit that his best friend was just…gone.

"Anyway, I came over here to bring you this," Puck said finally, sliding a slim box out of his pocket. It was wrapped haphazardly in plaid paper that had reminded him so much of Finn. It was the same paper he had used to wrap the little gold star earrings he had sent Rachel. Kurt looked at him sadly, knowing why he had bought the gift. "Just open it, dude, it's not a big deal."

Kurt lifted away the lid to find a cashmere scarf. "He saw it when we were in Columbus, saved for a while so that he'd be able to afford the thing," Puck explained. "He kept the money in a jar between the mattresses like I wouldn't find it. Anyway, it paid for most of it and then I just kicked in the rest. For whatever reason, Finn really wanted you to have this. He thought you would love it."

"You got it monogrammed," Kurt announced with surprise. Rather than the K that should have been there, Puck had opted for a scripted F. Call him sentimental, but Puck liked the idea that Kurt would always be able to carry a little piece of Finn with him. "Puck, I don't know what to say…"

"Don't mention it, man," he replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Finn was my bro and he was your bro and that kinda makes us bros-in-law or something."

"I'm not sure that's exactly correct."

"It doesn't need to be. You were Finn's people and he was like my best person or whatever so…He'd want me to make sure you had this, okay?"

Kurt came over and wrapped his arms around Puck. The guy tensed before relaxing. "I'd be happy to have you as a brother," he said softly before pulling away. He didn't have any siblings left, and even if Puck had Jake now, Kurt knew that it wasn't the same as having Finn. "We've never been close, I know, but you're the only one who even sorta gets what I lost." Then he pulled away and pulled an envelope out of his bedside table. "Which is why I think you should have this."

Puck took the envelope and stopped when he saw Finn's familiar scrawl. "He ordered them this summer for Dad for Christmas," Kurt explained. Puck slid two Browns tickets out. "The experience would be totally lost on me, I was just going to go to humor my dad and in Finn's honor. I think they'd both like it better if you went instead. Carole and I could stay home and watch old Christmas musicals like we always did when they snuck off for their game."

"Dude, I can't just take these. He's your dad, you should…"

"My dad and I have plenty of things we do together, and football is not one of them," Kurt assured him. "Besides, I saw that picture up there. I know what you did for my dad. Trust me, it's what our brother would want."

Puck talked to Kurt for a little while longer before promising to make the trip up to New York before classes started back up to spend some time with him, Santana and Rachel. Carole was waiting for him at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee when he came back into the kitchen. He kissed the top of her head as he reached for a couple of the cookies sitting on the counter. Puck took a bite out of one shaped like Santa and hummed appreciatively.

"Here, Mom," he said softly, placing the tiny square box in front of her. "This one is from both of us."

She fingered the paper, recognizing it very well. It was from the roll that Puck and Finn had made in sixth grade and sold at the school's holiday store. There were Puck's blue Stars of David tucked between Finn's messy candy canes and mistletoe. Puck's mom had bought the entire thing, and the two boys shared little pieces each year to wrap their mothers' gifts. "It's the last little bit," Puck told her sadly. "I had just enough to wrap up Ma's."

"You should keep this," she said as she peeled it back.

"No, I have all these pieces of Finn everywhere," he smiled thoughtfully. "This one is yours, Mom."

She grinned at him before she pulled out the blue velvet box. "Oh, Noah," she gasped when she opened it. There was the tiniest pair of diamond earrings he had ever seen in there. It was all he could afford but he had wanted to get her something special. "They're beautiful."

"When we were kids, when Finn would talk about becoming the next Joe Montana and I wanted to be the next Springsteen, we always talked about how we would get our moms all the diamonds in the world. It's far from everything, but I think it's a nice start."

Tears started to stream down her face as she buried her face in her hands. He hadn't seen her cry, not like this, since the funeral. "Hey, Mom, it's okay," he murmured as he moved his chair around hers. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. There had been a time when this was the only sense of normalcy he had.

"I know that everyone misses him. Burt and Kurt, I see it in their eyes all the time," she said softly. "And Mr. Schuester, when I ran into him at the grocery store last week, he could barely keep it together. Rachel calls to check on me, Quinn too. Blaine and Tina come by to see Sam and visit with me. They all miss him but it's not the same, is it?"

While it wasn't true that even he could fully comprehend the grief that Carole felt, he knew what she was getting at. She and Puck had something that the others didn't – they had a whole life time of Finn. They had memories that went all the way to Finn's beginning, or at least the one that the boy could really remember anyhow. That was all wrapped up in Puck, and that's why he could understand in a way that the Hummels and Quinn, Blaine and Chang, even Rachel would never really get.

"They don't miss him like I do, you know? They don't miss him the same way, Noah, not like us."

"They can't, Mom," he told her before wrapping her into another hug. "No one can, not like us."

Author's Note: To address some commonly asked questions, this does not follow canon. It will have some parallels at times, I'm sure, but it's my own timeline. And the plan is to do a chapter for each month of the first year of being without Finn, with no romantic storyline involved. This is about grief, mostly from Puck's point of view, and I don't think that it's the right place for me to delve into Rachel moving on. I've done that before with "Man He Didn't Have to Be," and I'm happy with how that turned out. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy what's to come.