UtskushiMe 4

Warnings: Boring Alert!, Errors, Kinda depressing(?), a bit angst I guess(only a little, promise! :D)

Sorry for the late update!
One word: School.
Another word: CCA.
Last sentence: My mobile phone dropped into the school's toilet bowl while I was changing for my pe.
Those are the reasons why I couldn't update soon TT°°TT But nw Im here :D darn, at least my mobile phone is still working, it's just that I cnt charge it normally anymore ==

Pls review, because I wanna know if *sobs* you readers are still loyal to this story *sobs*

-Start of Flashback-
I sheepishly let a smile grace my lips and I continued chewing on my food, and after another peaceful silence passed by us, Gon asked me a question, leaving me frozen and it left my mind blank.

"Arisa, why do you have those animals with you? Are they your pets? And may I ask... What exactly happened, to your right eye?"
-End of Flashback-

Arisa's Pov
I couldn't understand what I was asked. My brain slowly digested Gon's question and I could not help but utter out an 'ehh'.

Shocked, I am definitely shocked! No one bothers to ask such things and now he is asking me this? It is sensitive to me, this very topic and I don't even know where I should start explaining from!
I stopped chewing, a few bits and pieces of food still in my mouth as I wrecked my brains to think of something I could actually tell both of them.
I tried to keep on a straight face, but I was feeling so nervous and confused at my own thoughts then that I failed to do so.
Luckily or not, they weren't facing my direction and I am very glad. They were still lying on the grass, facing away from me with their shinning orbs casts upwards into the sky, as they patiently waited for my reply.

It probably is my own fault because I managed to confuse myself!
I don't want to tell them, yet I don't want to disappoint them without answering, and I definitely don't want to lie to them!
I am just trying to hide away from my fears. I tried to shut those memories out of my mind, not wanting to dig up the past again, not wanting to remember the horrible experiences Shinku and the others had to face, not wanting to recall the agony and pain I went through, and not wanting to believe that all these were caused by someone close and dear to me.

I am... Afraid. Afraid that if I spilled the beans and told the boys, I would be captured, tormented, examined. He swore for revenge, and he is out there right now, waiting for the perfect moment to strike when I am not focused...

Those hunting memories... They feel so real, as though the event purposefully and vividly replayed itself just to once again, scar me mentally.
They were so devastating that I thought of wanting to end everything in the fastest and most efficient way. It is very simple, really.
All I have to do is to eat a handful of sleeping pills at once, gulp them down forcefully with water and I will be able to rest and not have those dreams hunting and overwhelming me ever again.

I know that it is really awful, and that was exactly what I thought the moment I got that foolish idea in my head.
How can I abandon my family during that period of time when they would need me the most?
How can I leave the animals on their own without care when they don't have the ability to take care of themselves yet? How can I, use this type of method to run away from my fears, my worst nightmare?

"Arisa-chan... Daijobu?" A soft, light whisper of worry broke my chain of thoughts, bringing me back to Earth.

Gon sat up cross-legged and looked at me with sadness that filled in his eyes, while Killua continued to lie there, casting his eyes lower, but he did not make any move to sit or stand.

I looked up to him, feeling fear rushing up my body but I tried to suppress it. I looked down at my skirt, only to realise that my hands were shaking, and uncontrollably at that. Ahh... So that's why Gon looked so worried.

"Are you sure you want to know?" I timidly sighed out.

I really don't want to let them know anything, but since their curious, why not fill them in with a little info about my animals?

They looked at each other, as though they were asking one another if it was the right decision to hear me out. They looked over to me in sync, nodding.

"But only if you are comfortable with it though." Gon continued as he gave me a half-hearted smile.

I nodded. It is fine if it was just on my pets, but it is still very painful even though it was just a memory in my past.

I finished up the last of my bento and I sealed the container with the cover before placing it beside me. Clearing my throat, I began telling my story, hoping they would forget about the question they bombed me about my eye.

...XD...XD...XD...

"They were actually normal animals; none of them were albinos at all. It was all because of an experiment... My dad was a scientist from Riekon Scientific University. He always work really hard to do his best in order to earn enough for my family members to live a comfortable and simple life, but all his findings were always too normal and he couldn't beat the other scientists in creating special and different chemicals and discoveries, and thus, he earned only this little income even though he might spent weeks, months or even years just to complete his experiments. He finally snapped and he told all the scientist there that he will create something so amazing and unbelievable that it would be one of the best findings in the entire world."

Killua had his brows rose but he kept whatever thought he had running in his mind to himself, whereas for Gon, he just nodded towards me seriously, beckoning me to continue. I cleared my throat before I began speaking again. This time, I couldn't help but make my eyes look down and onto my fingers.

"I know it sounds crazy and even my family had doubts against his thoughts but he was really serious and determined. He quitted and stayed at home to research on an unknown chemical study and his hard work finally paid off after more than 5 years of researching and experimenting with the chemicals, on animal organisms as he finally managed to create a chemical that... *sighs* That is able to turn animals into albinos. For something that mysterious, my father will definitely be well-known, for only he knew how the potion could be made."

I looked up to them from my fingers, expecting to see them look at me like I am crazy. They did not. I was mainly surprised at their attentiveness, and all I thought they would do was be bored with this... Long-winded 'speech'. Oh well, I hope they are following me so far. I then continued.

"Even though he managed to turn the animals into albinos, there were side effects and thus, the animals kind of... Changed. They became abnormal in a way. My dad consider it as a mistake. You all know who Haiyai is right? He, is a mistake."

A frowned imprinted on my forehead, and I was not really surprised to see a similar one on the forehead of the raven. It sounds really insulting if I would say, as how could he just name them as a 'mistake'.

"Shinku, he was more of a success as he is normal. He was not changed in anyways, except for the fact that it was not a normal animal anymore, but an albino. He is still considered as a mistake though."

I could feel the air around me tense up considerably, and I let out the breath I was keeping inside of me. Why did I do that anyways?

Gon lifted one of his knee up so that he could place his chin on it and that frown, it held so much emotions and I swear that I could almost feel him going into a rage; even though he looked calm on the outside, his eyes were burning with fury.

"Why would he do that...? That is just too cruel, to do such things to them!" he growled and I was taken back.

Of course the sweet and cheerful Gon has moments of anger but this is just scary... Killua on the other hand was surprisingly calm. I guess I bore him out of his wits huh.

"Well, that's all about these two. How about you guys?" I asked with a beam on my features, trying to once again lighten up everyone's mood. At least now I can delay the time of me telling them about my eyes.

That frown vanished from Gon's face instantly but then, it was transferred to Killua's face instead. Why would the Killua look soo uncomfortable? Is it because of...

"I am from Whales Island and I have stayed there for 12 years, with Mito-san and her mother! I have home-study sessions to learn and never went to a real school before, until now that is! I am glad Mito-san convinced us to come to a real school for once." He happily grinned and I chuckled a little while Killua let a light smile tug his lips. They looks so adorable like that! I want to cuddle the both of them in my arms, but I am sure I would anger them if I did...

I politely asked him about his parents and he replied me casually, with the grin still cladded on his face. In fact, his eyes glistered even more than just now when he answered me.

"Oh! I know nothing about my mother so I just treated her as though she is already dead... I have Mito-san with me, as my mother though! As for my father, he is a hunter!"

Hunter... Oh, I remember! Hunters are really respected and if I remembered correctly, they earn loads of jennies and goes on dangerous quests. Many said that getting a hunter license is soo hard that some might even die during the exams. It is harsh, plain harsh.

"I see... So where is your father? Is he living with you? I am sorry if I questioned too much about your background..." I looked down onto my skirt and fiddled it a little before looking up to only meet Gon's bright sunshine smile.

The next thing he said shocked me further, and it managed to make me gap.

"Well, I don't know where he is right now, he might even be here right now, though it's highly impossible. He told me, to catch him if I can. I became a hunter just to do so, but I know it will be really tough to find him, since he is one of the best hunters in the world!"

I was awed, that's for sure. It isn't easy to be a hunter! like I said, some died while taking the exams! His eyes sparkled with so much pride when he mentioned his father, and I gapped when he said his father is one of the best hunters worldwide. What's more shocking is him, the Gon is a hunter! Him, a 14 year old, a hunter?!

"H-h-hunter?! You are a hunter at such an age?"

"Not exactly! I became a hunter 2 years ago, when I was 12 years old!" His grin still intact.

I feel my eyes widening even wider than before, and I couldn't seem to stop looking at him.
Just, wow... Maybe behind that adorable, gentle and kind layer hides a really strong person. Well, from the time he held onto my hand to lift me up from my fall, I could feel his strong muscular hands holding onto me gently but firmly. The hands radiant heat out and it felt so cosy to hold onto his hands. I feel so safe, so comfortable because of his tou-... Wait what am I saying?! Nonononono!

I shook my head hard, squeezing shut my eyes tighty. How could I be so... Ugh! Doesn't that mean that I'm basically like those fangirls in school? Oh my goodness, no! I feel so disgusted by them and I am thinking such stuff about the cute and nice Gon! How could I?

I blink my eyes a few more times to clear those thoughts of my head and I piped in a question that made both the boys stiffen up straight away.

"How about Killua? Is he a hunter too?"

Gon awkwardly replied me that he did not pass the exams and Killua relaxed soon after. I wonder what could have happened during the exams? Oh well, it ain't really my business anyways. Maybe they will lighten up to me soon.

This time, after a few seconds of silence, I looked foward and stared straight into Killua's bored-looking ocean blue eyes.
I've been wanting to ask, but he looked so uncomfortable the moment I mentioned about their story, AKA backgrounds just now. I was about to open my mouth to ask, but the moment his eyes made contact with mine, I froze up.
That glare he shot me, it was so cold, so agitated. It made my body shudder when I understand what he actual meant to tell me with his glare: Ask, and you will regret it.

I might have asked anyways if it was someone else who shot me that look, but the emotions in his eyes freaked me out thoroughly. I knew what I had to do, and I kept quiet. Silence past us by once again, and it was broken by the shrilly bell, which actually signals the end of the break time.

They both stood up, and my eyes followed their figures. I couldn't move, or should I say, I was too shaken by the silver-haired boy's glare that I couldn't stand! Both my feet feel so wobbly, like jelly.

Gon seem to notice this, and he wanted to pull me up but Killua just advance forward, not bothering to wait for his best friend. Jerk! Gon hurriedly pulled me up to my feet, giving me his last smile before he ran after Killua.

I stood there, watching their shadowy figure disappear slowly and I blinked. Holy, better get to class before I get caught for being late! I bent down and grabbed my bento box, making sure that Shinku and Haiyai are with me before I ran towards my class like my life depended on it!

-After Class-

Arisa's Pov
"Seriously Ris, what in the name of carps made you space out in class like that? You actually kicked the teacher because he scared you when he woke you from your daydream!" Misa, my "mother", began nagging at me, with emotions of confusion and anger. Even though she tried her best not to laugh, I could hear her snickering when she said that I kicked my teacher. I lowered my head down in shame.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

-Flashback-

Normal Pov
The raven girl began daydreaming the moment lessons resumed, and that surprised her best friend. Shinku and Haiyai safely returned into her bag to seek protection and comfort and the history teacher began his lesson by screeching his white chalk across the rough and dark board, writing down notes for the students to copy.

Her bestie did her best to talk to the timid girl, but no matter what she did, she failed epicly. Arisa, being one of the most quiet and attentive girl in school, slept in the history class when she would always, and I mean ALWAYS listen.
The history teacher, noticed how distracted the only pupil that would listen in his class was, felt hurt. He then stomped to the dreamy girl's desk, and lowered himself so that he was looking at her face to face.

"Young lady, may I ask why aren't you listening in class today?" He asked sternly, anger raising in his chest because of the impossible noise level created by the others. He ignored it though.

"Miss Arisa, are you with me?" He began again, this time, his eyes hardened and looked harsh and that was when the quiet girl snapped out from her daydream.

With a jump up from her seat, she immediately letting out a loud shout of fear before she kicked the teacher away in the gut with her mighty foot, causing the poor teacher to stumble and fall onto the floor.

The class stopped everything they were doing, and looked back at Arisa, before letting their eyes trail up to poor Mr Fralls. Silence, and then, laughter filled the school.
-End of Flashback-

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Arisa's Pov
Until now, Misa couldn't hold her laughter, and she began falling on her knees with her head on my table, her hands slamming down hard on my desk. I feel like curling up my fingers around her slender and delicate neck, hard, but I managed to control myself. The sudden flash of cold, stony eyes from my memories suddenly popped up again and I felt like my heart was going to stop beating.

Oh... Great, just great. I am now officially haunted by the little glare Killua shot at me. Just, great. Oh well, it's better to just try and forget it than remembering it.
I packed my bag and stood up, with Misa beside me, her bag slung on her right shoulder as she used her left hand to wipe away the tears which formed from her eyes. Idiot... Augh! That glare he gave me sure affected me a lot!
Even now, I am cursing my freaking best friend! I sighed out in defeat. Maybe I should just lighten up.

It is just like this, so easy and simple. He has his secret which he doesn't want to share with me, and so do I.

And there you have it! Chapter 4 of HxH Fic, completed! :) well, I am soo glad I passed my OA gold yesterday and I decided that today, Imma gonna post this up for you guys ^^ be happy ;P well, I have a test tmr and more to come in the coming weeks so be happy I posted this for you! As for my other two stories, I will update them... Soon enough ^^ll gomen. ._.

Well then, I should get back to studying so chao!~ Please leave me a comment or a review about this chappy. so long!

Until then

~AnimeRockzzz~