"Three…"

Robin shifted the grip on the overly long sword that he'd been issued. It wasn't that the sword was bad, it was a two-handed weapon, which he wasn't use to wielding because he was used to having his multitasker of death of his left arm. He elected to fight in the most conservative manner he knew how, shifting the blade diagonally in front of him.

"Two…"

Across from Robin, Priam smirked. Robin felt significantly at a disadvantage. Part of it was because Priam dwarfed the tactician in both size and strength, which was made exceptionally clear by Priam's ripped upper body. Robin didn't feel inadequate with his own muscles, but it didn't help that, of the two, Priam looked like he could match a gauntlet user without needing one.

"One…"

The other part of it was that the smug dastard was keeping his weapon pointed at the ground. It was a traditional sword stance, sure, but it was designed for well-telegraphed sweeping strikes. Something Robin's defensive form would perfectly counter, unless Priam could break the tactician's guard with his sheer strength. They both knew that. And, from the bet they made earlier, it was clear that Priam assumed he could do it in under thirty seconds.

"Fight!"

Robin had barely a second to react when Priam already closed the distance between the two. Priam swung his blade in a sweeping arc. Robin countered, slapping his sword down.

Kzzzaaaassssh!

The impact jarred his hands. Robin leapt back, to give himself room, but Priam just took advantage, setting back, and pointed his blade straight at Robin. Robin had a second to register the upcoming attack. Priam lunged forward and transferred the stab into a sweep. Robin desperately swung, blocking the attack, straining to hold his blade in place.

"Hey." Robin grit his teeth. "Truce?"

Priam kicked him in the chest. Robin took it full force, sending him flying backwards. He landed hard, his sword falling half a dozen feet away. Not good, not good. Robin blinked, regaining his senses. Priam was standing over him, and energy sword pointed at his neck. Very not good.

"Yield?" Priam offered. "Twenty-two seconds. I win, tactician."

"Oh, ye of little faith." Robin clicked his heels together, activating the localized EMP he had hidden in his boots. It'd taken him under a minute to extract it from his gauntlet and rig it to his combat boots. Not technically cheating, as an EMP wasn't a direct weapon, nor was he carrying it on his person. The pulse flared, shorting out Priam's sword. Priam had a moment to look shocked before Robin kicked directly up, aiming for the most vulnerable spot on a man's body. Again, not technically cheating, but Robin was pretty sure that he'd violated some code of gentleman's conduct. Twice.

"First rule." Robin darted to his feet, pounding Priam with his fists. "Never fight without a backup plan. Second rule." Robin kneed Priam in the chest, trying to crack the man's ribs. "All's fair in love and war. Third rule." Robin shoved Priam. The massive brute staggered backwards, regaining his footing and looking up. Robin charged the man, cocking his arm back for the finishing blow. "Never mess with a tactician!"

Priam moved and the only thing Robin remembered after that was the floor.

"My arm…" Robin said weakly. He was lying down in the sickbay. Anna, the one traveling with him and not the idiots who ran the stupid ship, was looking at him with an expression of completely false sympathy.

Anna cocked her head. "Aw. Are you going to get some kind of insurance payment for it?"

"Shut it, you." Robin hissed at her.

"It's not broken." Priam interrupted. He was standing on the other side, casually doing one-hand pull-ups. The dastard carried a magnetic handle around just so he could show up and do them anywhere he felt like. Stupid git.

"Oh yeah." Robin looked at him. "I don't like you either. Next time I cheat, let me win."

"Next time, don't monologue in the middle of a fight!" Priam said. "Ha! Also, you punch like a weak-fisted koala and kick with the strength of a single butterfly's wings!"

"Is he always like this?" Anna asked, keeping her voice down.

"Pretty much." Robin yanked off the black bird mask he was wearing for the fight. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Tell me it took you more than thirty seconds."

"Forty-two seconds!" Priam said. "I was wrong to think that I could defeat a trickster like you so easily! But you were wrong to think you could defeat a warrior like me with tricks! There's no substitute for raw strength! I wouldn't have been knocked out by your fly swats, ever!"

"What happened?" Anna asked. "I didn't see the fight."

"I cheated. EMP followed by a groin strike." Robin sighed. "And I still lost. Didn't lose the bet, which was the important thing, but my pride took a serious beating."

"Ha!" Priam said. "I have decided to accompany you, instead of you accompanying me! It is only fair!"

"Since you lost." Robin sat up, stretching. "Stupid bet."

"Since you need more training!" Priam said.

"What was the bet?" Anna interrupted. "Money?"

"I bet Priam that I could last for more than thirty seconds in the arena." Robin sighed. "If I lost, I had to accompany his band of warriors. If I won the fight, the moron had to shut up about his stupid legendary warrior nickname."

"Yes, and I won the fight, and lost the bet! So, that means I accompany you."

"I have absolutely no way of correlating those two events with the conclusion you reached using any logic." Robin sighed. "But, to be fair, I could use a sparring partner, and the two girls could use a new target. Ship is in the B-03 docking bay."

Priam nodded, took off the magnetic handle and left. Anna looked at him leaving. "You just brought him for the muscle, didn't you?"

"Have you seen the guy? He'll take at least two blaster shots to the chest." Robin said. "Also, one last bookkeeping point. Tharja, you around?"

"That was fun." Tharja's voice came over the intercom. "Did you know that this place archives the arena footage?"

"Did you know that it was unfortunate mistake and it was deleted?"

"Now, why would that kind of a mistake happen?"

"I'll pay you triple what the Annas are paying you to cheat on me." Robin said, sighing. "Wired to a certain account of your specification, and I'll ignore any, shall we say, questionable experiments on your part for a week."

Tharja considered. "Deal."

"Tharja!" Anna scowled.

Ah, the sweet taste of double-dealing and backstabbing treacherous backstabbers. Robin slid out of the bed. "Alright, I'm feeling better now. Much better."