Conduit
Notes: Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on AO3 as Local_Asshole.
Yes. I did some math.
I also apologize in advance. I had some serious writer's block and it really fucking shows.
She saw them, black masses of L-Corp employees leaving the cemetery dressed in dark, monotone colors with umbrellas held over their heads to hinder the light drizzle of the rain.
And Kara ran, sprinting through the yard of stones until Lena's grave was in sight, two people standing in front of it.
"Did I miss the funeral?" she inquired nervously.
Jess shook her head, "A memorial service wasn't held. There was no procession. The workers decided to visit the wake for several minutes before leaving. They're all thankful of course because they can keep their jobs, but it's a busy week with L-Corp being sold and all—everyone is busy scrambling to move their things."
"They already buried her casket."
Kara turned her attention to the man next to Jess, who she remembered was her friend's driver. Three people. At that realization, it was when it really hit Kara how alone Lena was, people despised her or were indifferent to her.
"My condolences, Miss Danvers," Jess mumbled, eyeing the blonde as she placed a bouquet of plumerias upon the tombstone. She jerked her head towards the man, the gesture motioning for him to retrieve the vehicle.
"I'm sorry too," Kara whispered tearfully.
The secretary nodded, "Miss Luthor didn't leave me a note, but she told me to apologize to you for her—just in case. And she is sorry."
"Jess, you...you knew," Kara's eyes widened, brows furrowed angrily, "Why didn't you do anything?"
The woman gave a hard stare, "Tell me, if you weren't able to convince her otherwise, would my intervention have stopped her?"
Silence.
Jess's glare softened, "I didn't think so either. She would've found another way to get what she wanted. Besides, I didn't know. I just...had an inkling," she smiled bitterly, "Miss Luthor always had a knack for unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was hoping it'd be alcohol poisoning again, not..." she struggled to will her voice not to crack, "...not this..."
Jess dipped her head in salutation, "Have a good evening, Miss Danvers." She retreated once the car pulled up and retracted her umbrella.
Kara acknowledged her and waved before her attention narrowed to Lena's grave again. She stood, still and contemplative, observing the smooth and polished texture of the expensive headstone that was a deep ebony. In it carved her name, her birth date, and her death date. Simple and impersonal, but people would know who she was just glancing at the surname and seeing the expensive stone her memory was etched in.
Kara blinked, her tears mixing with the rain that was falling harder and faster. She took a shaky breath, her body rippling with tremors when she choked out a strangled cry.
"Everyone was so awful to you, hated you for no reason. I should've realized how hard you were taking it, but you were so strong. All the time. I should've known. I should've been better," Kara's shoulders slumped and her head hung low, filled with regret and shame, "I thought you were good. I thought you deserved everything good this world had to offer, anything that made you happy," she sighed, a cloud of cold emanating from her lips, "I just didn't think this was going to be it."
Kara felt her knees nearly give out, felt her will yearn to collapse with her, but her demeanor remained strong. She reached out, brushing her fingers on the stone before resting her hand fully on it.
"You were always so worried about everyone else that you forgot about yourself. Believe me. I still do that, being a superhero and all...but I had Alex to watch over me, to make sure that I considered my own happiness, and I also had James, and Winn, and Ms. Grant and...and so many people I considered friends and family by my side," Kara smiled grimly at the memories that flooded her, "I've lost so much, and they helped me cope with the loss of Krypton, they made the burden less heavy."
Her lips pulled into a frown, "But you didn't have anyone...except me, and I failed you. I'm sorry."
Kara knelt and placed a tender kiss on Lena's headstone, then pushed to stand despite the weight that wanted to make sure she would fall—to condemn her with the eternal burden of what happened. She reluctantly pulled her hand off the cold stone, arm falling limply at her side.
Then she walked away.
Kara unlocked the door to her apartment, tossing her purse and keys to the side, not even bothering to turn on the lights as the dim sunset provided barely enough through the windows.
Kara strode to her room, blanketed in darkness with the closed shutters. She sat on the edge of her bed with a sigh and her head hung low. Slowly, she removed her glasses, then untied her bun and watched as her mussed hair fell heavily past her shoulders; the strands gathered the remains of the rain at the tips and dropped them onto the floor with tiny splashes.
Kara remained still in her position, her mind passive and blank as she focused on the hypnotizing water droplets and smell of petrichor. Eventually, she blinked, finally registering the hot tears that silently trailed down her cheeks, providing her an escape from her mental prison. She sniffed, burying her face into her hands before running her fingers through her wet hair, tangled in several messy places. Kara pressed the back of her palm into her eyes, forcing the tears to stop, but they continued to pour and pour and pour.
Eventually she gave up trying to reign in her emotions and tucked herself into bed. She paid no mind to the fact that she was still in uncomfortably damp clothes—she was too drained and exhausted, her strength seeping from her limbs. She burrowed into the thick blanket bunched up and wrapped around her body, her previously silent crying progressing into quiet sobs for who knows how many nights in a row.
Kara was inconsolable. She spent the first few days with rage boiling in her blood, ravaging concrete blocks after concrete blocks in the DEO training room. Then there were the more recent days—today—where she felt hopeless, the pull of grief too heavy for her heart to bear.
So she mourned, reading articles and watching news of Lena's death.
Lena Luthor Pronounced Dead: Vague Details Revealed by Anonymous Source
L-Corp Sold and Dismantling After CEO's Death
The Alien that Killed Lena Luthor: Details on the Black Mercy
Relation of Lena Luthor's Death and Previous Absence from L-Corp
Lena Luthor: Suicide or Murder?
[Op-Ed] History of Superman and Lex Luthor Antagonism: Supergirl Prevails in Taking Down the Last Luthor
Supergirl Allegedly Failed to Save Luthor Heiress
[Op-Ed] Supergirl Tried to Save Lena Luthor vs. Supergirl Let Lena Luthor Die
The headlines took advantage of the controversial hype surrounding what had happened and made national news. Eventually, the gossip of the civilians were stoked when conspiracy theories were shared, the worst of which was people questioning Supergirl's morals. Some believed the alien and Luthor history was too toxic and ran too deep for the Girl of Steel to even bother trying. Some thought otherwise, that Supergirl valued every person's life regardless of their sins, even a Luthor.
Then there were the rarer suicide speculations, those too cut Kara bone deep, because she knew the truth; articles and questionable documents suddenly popped up out of nowhere that slammed Lillian Luthor for alleged child abuse and Lena's subsequent psychological health rollercoaster. Kara's experience with mental disorder was much more than anyone should experience as a developing alien; she lost her entire world, its culture, its language, its people—her family and friends. Then she was thrust into a foreign world where she struggled with acceptance and feared rejection.
But Kara had Alex and Eliza and Jeremiah. She only ever knew loving families, and they supported her and helped her cope.
Lena was alone, and despite Lex treating her fondly before he snapped, she was abused by Lillian and neglected by Lionel, who was too busy with running LuthorCorp to be at the Luthor manor. So Lena remained lonely and isolated in her mansion, finding solace in tinkering with metal scraps. Simultaneously, she was taught, and experienced first-hand, what it meant to be a deceptive and coldhearted Luthor for business.
Kara thought the comments were the worst part in the aftermath of the ordeal with Lena's death. Many online and in reality celebrated another Luthor's downfall, which Kara recalled that her late friend had bitterly predicted. Some who believed that Supergirl had let the woman die praised her for her part in keeping their society safe from genocide.
Kara felt furious that Lena was right, that she was too busy basking in her positive thoughts of the Luthor to notice how much unwarranted hate there was.
It was still baffling how people could hate Lena—she was good, intelligent, kind, strong, beautiful.
Kara did love her.
But she vied for her friends' approvals of the woman. She wanted them to listen and her hopes gradually gained when Winn expressed a tentative acceptance.
Then they were cruelly stamped down by Clark's, James's, and Maggie's outright rejections of Lena. And Lois and Lucy showed concern with the Kryptonian's decision to befriend Lena, but what prevented them from expressing hate was the belief that it would be strategically beneficial for them to keep an eye on the Luthor somehow.
Not that their blatantly wrong opinions would hinder Kara—they affected her, yes, and sucked away small pieces of hope—but it was her older sister and Eliza that abruptly put the barricade down between the two friends.
If Lena did not receive approval from them then why would Kara ask for something more, and in turn subject the woman to rejection after rejection? She knew her family's and friend's opinions mattered dearly to Lena, who wanted to leave good impressions, and she would have if it were not for the corrupted last name that tainted her. Kara's loved ones were already negative enough with the fact that she had befriended a Luthor of all people. She could not imagine their reaction to Supergirl and Lena Luthor being together.
So she relented, content with the best friend she already had. Kara refused to entertain the thought of romance anymore, unwilling to confront wary opinions. She was tired of the Luthor vitriol and could not fathom how Lena could deal with even more.
Maybe, on the off chance that everyone tried to warm up to the object of Kara's adoration, she would seek out something more between them.
But until then, she suppressed her affections until they were buried deep down with the trauma of losing Krypton—she was not expecting her family and friends to change their minds anytime soon.
And Kara could not give Lena the life she wanted in the Black Mercy—she said it herself; she could not bring Lex back from insanity, could not bring Lionel back from the dead, and could not get Lillian to alter her xenophobia. Certainly not. Kara would if she could—she would have gone to the ends of the universe for her. And it touched her that Lena's ultimate happiness also relied upon the happiness of Kara's.
She recalled the aftermath of the Daxamite invasion, of the slump she fell into after losing Mon-El...then of her recovery, of the joy and closeness and companionship she felt next to Lena. Her mind wandered to the device that her friend created, locked in a DEO vault. She remembered Winn saying something about the technology, that it could remove lead from Earth's atmosphere, and the model was big enough and the blueprints were detailed enough to construct a larger scale device. All that would be left was utilizing DEO and alien resources to locate Mon-El.
But she found that she was not eager to bring him back. At least not yet. Not too soon after what happened.
Kara's actions were not enough. Lena grew up in a toxic environment where physical actions had nefarious or business purposes, where even words were tools utilized to reach a goal or to harm. But Lena could not infer care and love from Kara's actions. She was always waiting for the other shoe to drop at all times—having a genuine friend was relatively foreign for her, and verbal assurance would have been more comforting perhaps.
Now, as Kara sobbed alone in her room, she regretted not telling Lena how much she loved her.
"I am sorry. I am not programmed to give you that information."
"I want her back!" Kara screamed, her voice cracking, breaking open with raw emotion as she stalked closer to the hologram of her mother, "And you will tell me how to do it! I need to travel back in time to save her, please tell me!"
"Tampering with timelines is unwise and dangerous—I advise you to avoid doing so," Alura stated monotonously, "The Timestream is too abstract and sensitive to change, altering one aspect could very well lead to another problem or multiple others. It could take a great physical toll to you and the subject."
Kara growled, "Then I'll figure it out! If Lena is alive then she has a chance to develop life changing technology on Earth! Nothing bad can come from that!"
"Your goal is not rooted in the fact that you believe she is a beneficial asset. It is emotional and subjective, and if you successfully save Lena Luthor, you may find that the threats I warned you of are not the ones you should be concerned about."
Kara fumed, then inhaled a deep breath to calm herself down, "Maybe I should rephrase my statement: are there any time travel devices that exist here on Earth?"
Alura's image shimmered, "Professor Carter Nichols' time machine, also known as the time ray, was constructed in the city of Gotham, New Jersey. It is under the ownership of Batman."
Kara cursed under her breath, "He's definitely not going to let me mess with that," she cleared her throat, "Are there any alternatives?"
Alura lifted her chin and held her head high.
"Yes."
"I need to see Doctor Rond Vidar."
The secretary pushed his glasses up and greeted the visitor without breaking his gaze from the computer, "Do you have an appointment?"
Kara's brows furrowed, "This is an emergency. I must see him right away."
The man sighed and scrolled through his screen, clearly irked, "Miss, I apologize, but you're going to have to schedule a meeting with him."
She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, "Fine."
"Great," he drawled, "Can I get a time so I can find an opening as well as a name?"
"Now," Kara stated, "Name's Supergirl."
The man finally glanced up and startled, nearly jumping from his seat at the sight of the Kryptonian, "O-Oh. Uh. Right away. I apologize for the inconvenience, I'll have someone take you to Doctor Vidar's office."
Kara smirked before dramatically flipping her cape as she followed her escort, the flare of the crimson fabric leaving behind many gawking guests in the building.
Their footsteps echoed through the spacious golden hall, bouncing off the high ceiling and the chimes of the chandeliers. When they reached the end, the escort retrieved her pass from the lanyard hanging around her neck and swiped it over the scanner. The elevator's gears clicked and the doors slid open.
They entered, the woman pressing the proper floor number before returning to her stiff posture.
Kara rocked on the balls of her feet, observing the luxurious marble of the polished floor and the gilded golden walls.
She cleared her throat, the sound cutting awkwardly through the classical music, "This is...a bit much for an elevator don't you think?"
The escort shrugged, "The Time Institute and its teachers have many donors and investors, a...superior image is needed."
Kara opened her mouth to form a reply, but the woman beat her to it.
"We're at our stop," she informed, "His office is down the hall to the left—large double doors, can't miss it. It's been a pleasure, Supergirl."
Before Kara could express her gratitude, the woman put a hand to her ear and activated her communications device, "Doctor Vidar, I know you don't allow visitors at this time, but it's of utmost importance."
There was a sound of scratchy static, an irritated voice coming through the other line.
"'Utmost importance' my buttocks! Miss Morning, I'm very busy at the moment, could you tell whatever's so 'important' according to this insolent, dimwitted, self-involved—"
"It's Supergirl, sir," the woman interrupted.
There was a sudden pause.
"Oh!" the man seemed delightfully surprised, "Well, why didn't you say so! Send her in right away!"
The woman clicked her device and gestured for Kara to proceed.
"Thank you, Miss Morning," she mumbled.
The escort stiffened and it was then the Kryptonian realized what she had implied.
"Oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but...Doctor Vidar is kind of—"
"Loud?" she finished with amusement pulling at the corners of her lips.
Kara shuffled her feet sheepishly, "Yeah..."
The woman pressed the elevator button and its doors closed between them.
"Good luck," she said before they clicked shut.
"What do you mean it's 'classified'?"
Kara folded her arms at the exclamation and played it off with a cool expression, "What? You thought I was going to give you details on a mission given to me by a top secret government organization, Doctor Vidar?"
Rond pulled at his messy hair, the toll of his research and days of unhygienic activities slickened his dark locks with grease and oil. He removed his thick glasses and wiped it on his lab coat.
"Fair point," he acknowledged.
Rond could not have been more than forty judging from the wrinkles that marred his face, mostly from a perpetual vexed expression. The man was a very eccentric and narcissistic individual, and although he was prickly at first, he seemed less so in the presence of Supergirl.
But her need of his time machine bolstered his ego.
And Kara played that to her advantage.
"I'm here because I believe your time machine is the best device that can help me with my mission—it's superior to Professor Nichols' time ray and I can't waste another day trying to convince Gotham City's elusive bat to help me."
That seemed to do the trick going off of the proud light that twinkled in the scientist's eyes. He cleared his throat and grinned widely, "Of course! My machine displaces as opposed to traveling through time, however, it does come with restrictions," he admitted reluctantly, not that his ego seemed to take a hit from it, "The manipulation of time is always sensitive in its malleability."
He led her to the back of his office, cramped with papers and books that were strewn all over the floors and pinned onto the walls.
"My creation has proven indispensible to government usage," Rond stated, rummaging around.
He scrutinized the space between the floor and Kara, who was floating in front of him in anticipation, "That must come in handy. I can barely walk through my jungle without slipping on some substance."
"So, tell me," he started, still fumbling around his office, "What would you have done if I'd refused to aid you in your endeavors?"
"Seek Batman out, of course," Kara answered.
"What?" he chuckled, "Would your last option, if he rejected you too, would be to fly around the world to reverse time?"
"Well, in theory, it'd work, but there'd be catastrophic consequences."
"Yes," he agreed, "You'd have to fly around Earth opposite its revolution just outside of its atmosphere for fifty seconds."
"About a hundred kilometers above sea level would be ideal," Kara hummed.
"The Karman Line? Between space and the atmosphere?" Rond asked, "You'd have to provide angular momentum twice that of Earth's. Your velocity would have to be around forty radians per second."
She nodded, watching the researcher curse under his breath as he dumped boxes after boxes of papers, "46.296 radians per second actually. When multiplied with Earth's mean radius, which is about 6,371 kilometers plus the extra hundred kilometers to account for the Karman Line."
Rond paused, eyes wide, "You'd have to be flying..." he trailed off, brows scrunched together as he did the math in his head.
"299,581.416 kilometers per second," Kara flashed a smile.
He gasped, now bouncing as he looked through his desk, "That's—"
"Over 99.929 percent of the speed of light?" Kara cut in, "I know. Pretty cool, right?"
The man was in disbelief, "How's that possible?" he paused when he found his biometric scanner with a triumphant cheer before placing his hand over the reader, "You'd have to include your rest mass and increase it—"
"I'm 54.885 kilograms, so I'd have to increase my mass about 20,372,668.224 times, but I'm faster than my cousin," Kara clarified, "As I fly closer to the speed of light, my relativistic mass increases according to what humans call the Lorentz Factor."
"We'd be moving over 1,600 kilometers per hour!" Rond exclaimed.
"Which is why I decided to find a time travel method that didn't involve causing unprecedented winds, huge tsunamis, and fires from extreme friction."
Rond's mouth gaped, then the vault behind him vibrated with a thunderous sound, slowly opening its metal doors to exhibit a small, cube-shaped device on a pedestal.
"Ahem. It'll scan the subject to be transported," he explained, "It releases tachyon particles when activated, which will then transmit you into the Timestream while I calibrate your location and date from my terminal. The catch with the time cube though, is that you have a maximum of twenty-four hours to complete your mission, and you need to return to the area you were spawned at beforehand to return to the original timeline."
"What happens if I don't?" Kara inquired.
Rond shrugged, "You'll be stranded there, so hopefully you're not trying to travel several hundred years back."
The hero seemed to be a little more comforted with the flaw, "I only need to be several days back. A week and a half to be more precise."
"I need more than 'precise'," Rond commented, running the diagnostics on his terminal, "Exact location, day, and time, which can be in hours, minutes, or down to the nanosecond. This is your last chance to plan every detail of how you're going about your mission. You're welcome to try again if you fail the first time but successfully return to this timeline. But, uh, make sure you do it on your first try—there's a lot more about quantum theory physics and time travel that we don't understand."
She gave him the information and released a soft chuckle, "Good thing I'm an alien, right?"
Rond smirked, "Visit me again, Supergirl! I have so many questions and theories I need you to confirm!"
Kara grinned and shrugged, "Maybe."
Then a shroud of white light engulfed her, swallowing her body. Her mind was in a blank state, like limbo, and she could feel the passiveness of time touch her skin in the liminal space of the Timestream.
She closed her eyes and breathed as she passed the threshold, "I'm coming, Lena."
Notes: Constructive criticism appreciated.