Dean was confused and a bit scared, but would never admit it especially not to his father.

John had told Dean to stay in the kitchen of the house that had a ghoul nest under it while john went canvassing the rest of the house.

"I could say what you want me to
I could lie, I could lie..."

John said he didn't know which vents they used and that Dean should keep his gun focussed on the vent under the kitchen table.

Dean was a bit scared because there was another vent that John apparently didn't see which is where the confusion came in because John never missed something like that.

Dean tried to keep his gun trained on both vents, but that meant spinning in a constant circle and he was busy giving himself motion sickness.

"Cause you're wanting a little more
And I'm stuck in the middle of,"

Dean stopped turning and focussed on the one his father told him to while still trying to peak at the other one behind him.

Just as he turned back to the first vent, he was grabbed from behind and knocked out.

"But I try, but I try..."

Dean heard a commotion as he was coming to and saw John impale the ghoul. Dean called out to him and John came over.

Dean asked John how he found him and John said that he followed the vents.

When Dean ask John how he knew which vent to go through, John glared at him and said Dean was in the kitchen so obviously the kitchen vent.

"And I need time, and I need space..."

John was never vague. He always detailed and explained unless he was hiding something. Dean asked John if he saw the second vent before he left Dean there.

John pulled Dean out of the basement that the vent leaded in to and told Dean to grow up. People had died and had continued to die. Dean wasn't dead and by no doing of Dean himself.

"I need to live without your face..."

Dean took a step back and glared at his father. He had been used as bait by his own father. How was that his fault?

"If I leave, will it end?
Will you need me again?"

John grabbed Dean by his arm and told him that that was their only way in finding them and if Dean wanted to sulk, he could walk back to the motel, and walked out of the house.

Dean walked back. It had started raining half way through and Dean was soaked by the time he made it back.

"If I go, will you love me?
Will you love me when I come back?"

Sam was the first one to see Dean and opened the door for him. John didn't look his way, just told him dinner was on the table.

John was berating himself in his head. He was just as shocked at his actions when he thought back on it, but it just felt so natural in the heat of the moment. How could he do that to his first born son?

-
The song in quotation marks is If I Go by Ella Eyre. I do not own it.
-