A/N: This is not mine, the world and characters and backbone belong to JK Rowling. An update so soon, how wonderful! Thank you for reading and the kind reviews :]

CHAPTER FOUR

"Hermione, where have you been? I was looking all over for you. We're going back to the Burrow today!"

Hermione immediately considered just turning back around and walking out of Gryffindor Tower. She was running thin, and Harry Potter was not helping anything at all.

"Oh, you know... the library." It didn't sound believable at all. Harry noticed and motioned for her to sit next to him on the couch. She repressed a groan. He cared and it was very sweet, her mind supplied, but she was just too tired. She walked over and sat next to him.

"'Mione, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Harry."

"Come off it Hermione, something is wrong and I am your best friend and I know when something is wrong. We lived in a tent together for Merlin's sake." She shrugged and gave a watery smile. She wanted so badly to just unload on him. Tell him everything, maybe he would help her with Snape and take shifts to make sure he got all the blood replenishing potion he needed to stay alive so she wouldn't have to constantly be using the time turner to sleep and be at Hogwarts and care for her potions professor at the same time.

"I'm just …" her voice cracked, she searched for a lie, "so upset about the war. About everyone…" she trailed off. Her mind whirled and slowed at the same time. She felt awful lying to Harry (but was it really lying?). "I don't think I'll ever see my parents, Harry!" She sobbed onto his shoulder and he rubbed her back gently, making soothing noises and saying nonsense words of comfort.

She eventually pulled away, sniffing and wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He shook his head. "I want to go to the Burrow, I know you want to see Ginny and I want to see Ron so badly… I don't think I can stay there, though. They've lost so much."

Harry nodded, putting his arm around her shoulders. "I know. But they'll be family soon. Already are family. I have to stay, I understand if you don't. They'll understand. Where will you go?"

She shrugged, "my parents' house, I think. It'll make me feel close to them. Kingsley's already promised to start looking for them." Her eyes watered again. Harry nodded and folded her into a hug, she didn't know when she fell asleep there.

***

She woke with a start when big hands were pulling at her shoulders, raising her to her feet and pulling her to a firm chest. She inhaled and smelled what was distinctly Ron. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back. It felt like a century since she'd seen him.

"'Mione!" He raised her chin for a peck on the lips, she blamed her tiredness for not being excited about it.

"Ron," she smiled at him. She must look terrible. "What time is it?"

"About 3 in the afternoon. Found you asleep on the couch, Harry said you fell asleep a couple of hours ago. You ready to come home?"

Hermione staggered slightly, realizing what she had done wrong. She had meant to wake before Ron and Ginny came for them to take care of Professor Snape for a few hours and collect everything on his list. Now she was trapped, there would be no chance for her to break away for a moment and jump back a few hours. She had so much to do!

"Oh, yes." She said distractedly. "I've got a book from the library I have to return before I go, I'll be right back." She smiled at him sweetly.

"Oh sure thing, I'll come with you!" Merlin's balls. She hadn't anticipated his over eagerness to fill the role of boyfriend.

"Um, well, I can do it alone. Talk to Harry, really it'll take me 5 minutes. I've got to say goodbye to Professor McGonagall." Her mind raced hurriedly, "And Professor Binns! He, uh, taught me what I needed to know about Goblins."

Ron made a face and she knew she'd succeeded in deterring him. She was about to break out going to Mme Pompfrey to talk about cramps and menstrual bleeding.

In a rush, she tore out of the Common Room, ducked into an alcove to turn the small hourglass back 3 times, and ran down toward the dungeons. She reached into her pocket, retrieving Snape's list and instructions on how to get into his stores. She took a sharp left to his office.

"Milkweed!" The door swung open and she stepped inside, walking over to the door that did not connect to the classrooms.

"Ashwinder eggs!" Again, the door swung open and she dove inside, scanning the shelves hurriedly for what she needed. She opened her beaded bag and stuffed Dittany, Mandrake leaves, dried nettles, bundimun secretion, powdered Romanian Longhorn Dragon horn (her eyes bugged out that he had some), a sprig of peppermint, helleborne and others. She grabbed a cauldron and glass stirring rod then fled, tearing up the stairs and out of the castle. As soon as she passed the gates, she spun on her heal and stumbled into her living room out of breath.

***

"Back so soon?"

"I have everything you wanted. I can't go back for anything right away." She didn't have the energy to put up with this right now. Hermione opened up her beaded bag and began removing the ingredients he'd asked for on the floor in front of her.

Snape raised a brow, "undetectable extension charm, well done."

Hermione just about fell over, but she was too tired for a reaction. She was probably delirious and imagining things anyway. "Thank you," she mumbled, just in case.

They had yet to find the charm Hermione was looking for, but she had decided to brew the potion to cleanse Snape's blood first, in hopes that it would at least buy them a few hours between doses of Blood Replenishing Potion; they were nearly out.

She began to construct a mini potions lab on the floor of her parents' bedroom when a hand reached down and touched her shoulder.

"Miss Granger, you look awful. I doubt you have eaten anything proper or slept at all since the war ended and as I am unable to brew myself, I would much prefer you be well rested before you begin."

She nodded dumbly. She would probably have killed him trying to make a potion right now.

"Go make something for both of us to eat, not just me, and we will have a meal. With tea. Then you will go back to the castle and sleep. Come back tomorrow and we will begin the potion."

Hermione was certain she was still dreaming. He had practically praised her earlier and now he was almost being kind. She rose to head to the kitchen, then stopped.

"Sir, how will you be able to take your potion? You'll fall asleep or pass out and then you'll die! I can't." He made a tutting noise and looked at her like she was eleven again.

"Perry!" cried Snape. There was a sudden crack and a house elf appeared at the foot of the bed. Hermione did fall over then.

"What is Professor be needing, Sir? Perry was thinking Master Snape was dead, sir. He is glad you are not," said the elf, bowing so low his nose touched the ground. Hermione made a suffocated gurgling noise as she tried to grasp what was going on.

"Perry, this is Miss Granger. She is not well. We will both need food and tea. Darjeeling, if you can find it. Then I will need you to stay here for the night and feed me three drops of this," he gestured toward the Blood Replenishing Potion, "every hour." Then, tersely, "please."

The house-elf bowed again and with a pop, he was gone.

Hermione struggled to her feet. She was uncertain whether she should be absolutely furious or not. He had a fucking house elf. And didn't use him to give him potion at one in the morning!? He just made her, no, expected her to be there enough that she would administer it. Waves of anger swept over her until the logical voice in her head supplied the answer: he was testing her.

Of course he could have easily summoned the elf, sworn him to secrecy and been fed the potion. Gotten Perry to fetch the ingredients and only used her to find and create a solution. But he had made her stay because he wanted to make sure she was serious about helping him. Make sure she wouldn't abandon him. Somehow today, she had passed his test. He was almost being civil and she would no longer have to stay here all hours of the day to keep him alive. She could have wept.

She stared at him, his face was unreadable as he watched her. She didn't know what to say, so the question that had been bothering her since he had first woken up spilled from her lips.

"If you didn't want to live, why did you eat the bezoar?"

***

Perry was indeed his house elf, but only at the school. He was not rich enough to have his own, but professors were provided with their own house elf to care for them so long as they were at the school. Luckily, under a loophole, since everyone presumed him dead, Professor Snape's tenure had not been officially ended.

He watched quietly as Miss Granger's internal dialogue played across her face. He had risked her assistance by calling for Perry, but something had to be done. She looked worse than he did. He was surprised when her face settled to calm and her shrill tones never ascended on him. She looked grateful. He had to carefully school his features to nothingness.

Another surprise in her question, but he had been expecting it.

He shrugged his shoulders, splaying his hands open and palm up. "I had carried it on me for so long expected to be poisoned in some way, I figured I ought to finally use it. And, perhaps, it may have caused me a little less painful death. I did intend to die, Miss Granger, but that does not mean I wanted it to be horrible."

She nodded and seemed to accept his explanation.

Perry winked back into the room, barring plates of food and cups of steaming tea. He could smell it was Darjeeling, thank Merlin. It had been years since Snape had gone a day without tea and it had been nearly four now. The tray was placed on his lap and he reached greedily for the cup, feeling the porcelain warming in his cold hands.

"Perry, you must not reveal that I am alive to any other soul. Nor where I am or that Miss Granger is with me. Do you understand?"

"Oh yes, Master. This is not the first secret Master Snape is asking of Perry. He will not tell a soul!" He absurdly crossed his heart, bowed low and was gone. Snape brought his tea to his lips (milk, no sugar) and savored how it smoothed down his lacerated throat.

Miss Granger had remained quiet and he glanced over to her, and saw silent tears streaming down her face.

"Miss Granger?" She sniffed, looking startled.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm too tired. Perry reminds me so much of Dobby." She wiped irritably at her eyes. "It was my fault he died."

Snape was indeed aware that Dobby the free elf had died, but not that it was anybody's fault but Bellatrix Lestrange and her knife. He said so and watched as Miss Granger took a fortifying sip of her tea.

"She was torturing me when it happened," her voice was small and broken. It didn't sound at all bossy or confident or anything like what he recognized. He was incredibly uncomfortable. "I couldn't move I was in so much pain. He went to save me, that knife was meant for me." She gasped out another sob. "I should have died," was barely audible.

Snape ground his teeth in fury. He thought she might have gone unscathed. Perhaps been spared the absolute worst, but she had not. He was more glad than ever to know Mrs Lestrange had been killed. It wouldn't be above her to torture a young girl. It upset him more that Miss Granger believed it her own fault. Gryffindors.

He did not know what to say, no words of comfort that wouldn't just sound hollow.

"Drink your tea, Miss Granger. Eat. I will not have you wasting away any more."

She looked slightly more like herself after another sip of tea and a spoonful of soup. Color had returned to her cheeks by the end of their silent meal. She stood on slightly less shaky feet than she had come in on.

"I have to go back, I'll be missed soon. We're being taken back to the Burrow. I'll be back tomorrow to stay." She looked like there was more she'd like to explain, but held her tongue. She had certainly changed.

Snape nodded his head, taking a final sip of the tea.

"Please don't die while I'm gone." Then she was.