I'm so proud of this chapter, because it's the longest one and I reckon the best so far... review if you want, in this chapter well basically there's a wedding and George snaps. Thanks for reading :)

The sun's rays came streaming through my maroon coloured drapes as it shone across my floor in a golden line, cutting like a knife through my room one side was light…one side was dark… I could see from where I lay on my pillow the extent of the mess I had made, CD's on the floor, papers everywhere, books scattered like massive stones being thrown at random off a cliff, broken glass from frames… the list went on… I felt the warm blanket on my skin, the sheet was dragging on the floor near a spilt over glass of Jack Daniels. I rolled over from my side to flat on my back and stared at the ceiling. 'I wish I never woke up…' I mumbled to myself with a dead pan expression, I felt distant, cut off and more alone than I had felt in a long time…I went to get up but I felt myself aching, my head ached, my arms and legs felt like they'd been crushed…they had been by life and my back felt weighed down by 100 tonnes of depression. 'I just want to lie down and die…' I thought to myself. My bed was so soft I sunk into it like I wanted to sink six feet under into a grave…

I forced myself up with my arms and pushed up with my hands and my bag and legs followed. I moved my legs over the edge of the bed and sat on the side of my bed and ran my hands through my hair, it was scraggly, rough, knotty and oily from not brushed or washed it for two days…or three.

'Better get this place tidied up…Can't imagine why I fuckin' bother but why the fuck not!' I muttered a spell that would make everything go back to its usual place. I managed to find the strength and energy to stand up and almost fell to the floor from being light headed. I regained my balance under my feet and managed to grab my bath robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door and walked to the bathroom slowly moving… I knew there was a wedding in an hour but, I wasn't in a rush…I turned on the taps, took off my clothes and put them in the wash basket, stepped into the shower and washed my hair. The warmth of the shower on a cold morning was unbelievable, I didn't want to get out, and I shaved using my mirror in the shower and got out and walked back down the hall to my room. I entered my room and collapsed back on my bed, I listened to myself breathing, watching my chest go up and down.

I had forgotten that I hadn't disabled the silencing charm I had used on my room for last night when I trashed the place from my violent anger. I got dressed in front of the mirror, buttoning up my shirt, putting on my tie and my suit, I sat on the end of my bed and put on my socks and shoes and stared in the mirror. I zoned out and imagined myself tying a noose to the ceiling and hanging myself and watching my reflection in the mirror as I died… I got chills down my spine and zonked back into reality again… I had to focus on what today meant to everyone, I didn't want to be the talk of the day nor any other day, this was Ginny and Harry's day and they wanted me to be there, they wanted me to celebrate their wedding day with them and so I would…whether or not I was going to enjoy it on not was a different story all together…

I was observing the suit I was wearing while I sat in front of the mirror. The suit was black, the tie was blue, the shirt pants were comfortable and I just stared at my reflection. I could tell by the look in my own eyes I wasn't a happy soul, I looked like death warmed up, somewhat looking stoned from all those hours of sleep deprivation. My hair in previous days had been horrible and unkempt to the point where I could smell it. I began talking to myself…

'Take a good look Georgie boy, this is the last time you'll see yourself in this room.' I turned and looked over towards my draw set and saw my wand sitting there. 'I shall take that…' I stood up and picked it off the table, I put my wand in my pocket, I remembered a not I had written some time ago about wanting to commit suicide and left anything anyone wanted to know as to why in there, I dated it with today's date, the 24th of October, and put the note in my pocket, I looked around my room to see if I would need anything else. My room was dark with the blinds closed, I didn't see the point in opening something I wouldn't see again so I walked around looking at everything and observing every inch of my room.

I walked across the wooden floor and proceeded to walk over towards the door, I turned around and took one last look at my room, leaving it the way it was, well preserved and untouched by anyone else but me. I then closed the door behind me with a small bang as the wood of the door hit the wooden frame and locked into place. I stood outside my door and rested my back and shoulders against it. I put my head up towards the ceiling staring at the cream walls and thinking about what it was I was going to do tonight. 'Have pity on my soul Fred…' I put my head back down to its usual level.

I stared across a metre looking directly at Hermione's room and realised this would be the last day I'd see her, after all she tried to do for me this is how I repaid her… I hope she'd understand why… It'd also be the last time I saw anyone in my family for that matter. I'd never live to see Harry and Ginny's child, never live to see Hermione finally being happy again and never to see another beautiful sunset. I was so lost in my thoughts that when dad's voice boomed from downstairs I jumped.

'BOYS DOWN STAIRS!' called dad from the foot of the stairs, his voice echoed and bounced off the walls all the way up the Burrow. I remembered the wedding was going to be on soon I walked down the hallway, my shoes making little noise except a small squeak because the leather was new. I walked down the stairs, the wood dark brown wood creaking, and the soft rug under my shoes made me feel as if I was on a cloud. I walked past Fred's room on the way down and walked over to the door and opened it. It was completely empty and cold, it wasn't literally empty, it was just soulless before he had died it was full of life. I didn't think he's death would affect me so much but, it affected my entire life. I closed the door and stared at the ground. 'I'm gonna join you buddy…' I said to myself as I put my hand on the door and felt the smooth wood. I knew Ginny would've wanted him at the wedding but, life had its own plans and ruined any chance of that.

I walked down the stairs till I reached the foot of the stairs to see dad standing in a silver tweed suit and the shiniest shoes I'd ever seen him wear. He looked very old fashioned but, very formal at the same time. Mum came rushing through 'Sorry boys, I have to help Ginny!' she was wearing a black dress with vibrant flowers on it, I barely ever saw mum all dressed up she was mostly in warm clothes she had knitted but, for her daughters special day, she wore something special. She disappeared up the stairs quick as a flash and then Dad turned towards us.

Harry, Ron and Neville Longbottom, our friend from Hogwarts, were standing there tending to Harry, making sure his tie was on straight and that he had a proper shave and that his hair wasn't too long as he was getting ready for his wedding day to fully commence.

'Good job mate.' I said shaking his hand, my hair getting in my eyes, so I had to move it out of the way so he could see what I was saying came from the heart. I was really proud of him; he was a loyal guy with a big heart and a hero to the Wizarding world. He treated Ginny with all the respect she deserved and gave her all the love he possibly could. He had said to me many times if she was to ever leave him, he'd surely die too. I couldn't imagine anyone else marrying my sister.

'Need a haircut don't you George?' asked Neville who noticed my hair was growing down to my shoulders like it had been in previous years. 'I like it long…' I said looking in the mirror above the fire place. I liked long hair better than short hair it suited me better and to be honest, really I just couldn't give a fuck about getting it cut, I shaved everyday but having long hair didn't bother me. If it got any longer I'd probably give it a trim but, Jim Morrison and those rock stars I admired always donned long hair so why shouldn't I? That and it gave me an excuse not to look at myself in the mirror anymore, I couldn't I didn't think I was worth any ounce of life I was given, I felt guilty for not helping Freddie when I knew maybe it was impossible for me but, I could've tried.

I felt like getting drunk there and then but, instead had to stand around with Dad talking about what we had to do today. Everything was set up outside, the reception tent; the chairs for the wedding ceremony, the priest had just come through our chimney which would be an odd sight for anyone not just muggles.

'Okay, let's go to the alter.' said Dad and we all cheered Harry and patted him on the back. He was so excited, we all had the same suits just his had a silver waist band and he had a better suit than ours with robes to distinguish him from the rest of us. He had paid for all our suits himself for the rental place and for most of the wedding; he didn't want mum and dad to pay for the whole wedding because he didn't want to take anything but their daughter away. Harry wasn't selfish and he made it known. Mum and dad were happy that Harry insisted on paying for it, he helped pay for a lot around here and we all pitched in. Mum and dad said they couldn't ask for anything more in their lives.

We walked from the house over to the alter that had been put in our garden under an arch way on a white plat form surrounded by flowers, everything was white except for the array of flowers that surrounded the arch, all colours of the rainbow were on it. The chairs were covered in white satin and had bows tied to each row. So many people were there, professors, students from our time at Hogwarts 'I can't wait to see Luna.' Said Neville, Luna was Neville's paired bridesmaid and they were now engaged she was a bridesmaid with Hermione and Lavender at Ron's request…that Hermione, I would imagine was completely pissed off with. Ron barely talked to me; he only really talked to Harry these days because most of us had shunned him for what he did to Hermione.

'Good job mate.' Said Ron patting Harry on the back as he was standing next to me on the right 'He better do a good job at looking after our sister…' I said looking at the sky 'Yeah.' Replied Ron looking out in the distance to see if he could see them coming, the priest stood in front of Harry, Dad had gone to get Ginny to give her away and we stood there. It wasn't so cold as I thought it'd be but, living in England you get used to it. I was happy for them both but, deep in my own mind I was silently ripping myself a part, I was trying to stop it from taking over me now but, my own sadness was bringing me down, I wanted to be there, but at the same time I didn't. I didn't want to be there any longer so I promised myself later tonight that I would go and do it.

After five minutes facing out back to everyone as we were standing at Harry's side, the priest announced the welcoming of the bride and Harry turned around as well did and saw Ginny in her wedding dress, Harry's face was totally focused on his bride-to-be and I could tell he loved her so deeply…following her however was a girl that caught my eye, she had the sides of her hair pulled up and into a pony tail with a silver bow on it, her hair curly and she had the most beautiful smile, the dress she wore stuck to her curves which made her look even more beautiful, it wasn't till she stood closer to us that I realised it was Hermione and my heart sank… I was in love… but I knew I could never have her which made me want to put a dagger in my heart, loving someone was easy, loving something you knew you could never have was hard and soul crushing. It was like someone putting a chocolate cake in front of you and no matter how much you wanted it, it was given away to a five year old and gone in ten seconds flat and eaten with a smile on the child's face from ear to ear.

We stood there watching Harry and Ginny saying their vowels, Harry slid the ring onto Ginny's finger 'You may now kiss your bride.' Said the priest who was smiling, Harry lightly grabbed the end of her veil and lifted it over her head. He put his arms around her back and neck as she did for him and kissed him for at least five seconds, I had tears in my eyes it was so romantic… Everyone cheered so we all clapped and cheered as they went down the aisle arm in arm followed by all of us, everyone was whistling and cheering and waving.

The photographer wanted photos so we stood there with the family as they took photos with Ginny's family and all of us, then one with just the brides maids which was Luna, Lavender and I with Ginny, one's with Harry and the groomsmen and then Harry and Ginny went and took pictures by themselves, the reception began at 4pm so everyone spent all day talking. I made conversation with many of them and then I saw George, he looked handsome but, also scruffy…just his personality was all fucked up… I didn't want to talk to him, I knew the moment I did I'd probably on the verge of crying and then it wouldn't be a good seen. Especially if he became more depressed because of his everlasting sadness but, no matter what I did I couldn't help, rescue or save him. I changed direction and went to find more people to mingle with.

It was hard to walk in grass with heels but, everyone appeared to manage which I found funny because some of the guests had massive heels and were complaining so I had a bit of a laugh at their misery. 'Oh my God Hermione you look beautiful.' Said a few people and I thanked them for their compliments, spoke with some professors and continued till I realised I was walking in circles around people. It was like a really big maze that had to be crossed in many different ways.

I went to walk up to her but, she walked quickly to go talk to Seamus, Neville and Luna… some people said congratulations on my brother in law and others barely spoke with me because they were mostly younger than I was, I went to go find Percy or Charlie but they were all busy talking to Hogwarts professors, I didn't want to talk in crowds anyway… I tried to socialise but, my anti-social side kicked in I really just wanted to be left to myself; I snuck into the tent and got into the everlasting restocking fridge of booze.

I took a bottle of Smirnoff and kept it for later, I had light conversations with some people but, I couldn't gel with anyone like I used to, it was like I was invisible or socially retarded. I saw Hermione from the distance and stared for a while, might've looked creepy but, I'm sure no one else could help it, Hermione looked absolutely stunning; I would've told her if she wasn't so into avoiding me…Maybe she had given up on me and wanted to stop talking to me…I could see why but over the last few weeks I actually thought we were getting closer, but I guess I was wrong…

As the evening wore on everyone went to the tent and talked for a few hours, it amazed me how much people could spend talking. They seemed to have a never ending stream of things to talk about.

I was at the head table on the opposite side of Hermione and she avoided all eye contact with me… it made me feel less and less inclined to talk to her. She was having a good time. 'You're a bit quiet George, are you okay?' asked Harry across Ron's shoulder. 'Yeah fine mate…just fine…' I was drinking coke at first but by dinner I was craving alcohol. I just wanted everyone to leave so I could get smashed but, I knew the chances of that were low as all fuck. We had speeches and I sat there staring into space with my mind somewhere else, day dreaming, feeling my wand against my right leg in my pocket. I looked over at Ginny and Harry, they were so happy… I wanted that happiness in my life but, I didn't know what to do…or from whom I could find this thing I knew no longer or even find love.

I had to dance with Lavender so I was even more annoyed and starting hammering down the Vodka.

Harry and Ginny's dance was beginning so we walked out standing on the side as 'I'd Love You To Want Me' by Lobo played for their wedding song, I was humming along when it got to the chorus I had to lead Lavender out so I pulled her arm to make her walk faster and caught her off guard. 'Ass hole!' she said loud enough for me to hear but, I shrugged it off. We walked into the middle of the dance floor…

She put one hand on my shoulder and the other in my hand 'You son of a bitch…' she whispered. 'Shut your bitchin' mouth…' I snapped back unapologetically to her and she stood on my foot. 'Fuck, if you're gonna be a sister in law I hope I barely have to see you…' she gasped and said nothing else and just stared over at Ron, I saw where she was looking and looked over as well…I looked each time we spun around and saw Hermione…her dress swaying gently, she looked tense, she was barely moving, Ron was uninterested as all hell but tried to be and I was getting tipsy and dizzy from dancing with the dumb bimbo called Lavender. I felt sorry for Hermione, her facial expression read 'Save me…'

It felt so wrong… dancing with my ex-boyfriend who I currently wanted to rot in the ground; he was not interested in any possible way, didn't even look me in the eyes and kept staring at that bitch.

'Whore!' I was thinking glancing across at Lavender, she had the same dress on but, I purposely made Ginny get her a size bigger than what she really was which she complained about all morning. I never thought I'd hear the end of it, I guess that's what you get when you try to get revenge, it somewhat gets you back…

Being in Ron's grip made me miss him, how we used to be, his cross between blue and green eyes, his scruffy thick red hair, his freckles, his lips that I did like…till that bitch sucked every bit of red out of them by the looks of it, his kindness and most of all his love and friendship which went out the window… I just wished he had told me earlier about what it was he was doing so I could accept it, going behind my back was not an option and he should have known that…

It was in all these thoughts that I realised tears were edging my eyes and I hoped to god he didn't notice, my cheeks felt like they were getting red and my ears were warming up unbelievably quickly. I tried so hard to hold back tears, my throat was choking up, he was looking at his watch every ten seconds and I wanted to kick him in the balls for being such an insensitive jerk from hell. But, what more did I expect, he had moved on with his life and had found someone he wanted to be with, not someone he thought he wanted to be with…

Harry and Ginny looked so caught up in each other, it was sweet, she was resting her head on his shoulder and they were rocking each other to the music. I loved them for being my best friends but, from tonight onwards the Burrow would no longer be their home, they would go home to Godric's Hollow, then leave for their Honeymoon tomorrow morning to go to America. Ginny looked so beautiful in her wedding dress that I could see Mrs Weasley in tears in the background at the head table.

I wished I was Ginny right now, not because she was with Harry but, because she had someone who loved her more than anything in the world… I know we were only eighteen going on nineteen (well soon enough for Ginny) but, I felt like I needed someone in my life.

No one cared they got married so young, it was going to happen anyway why the long wait? During all these thoughts I was interrupted. My movements became an abrupt halt.

Ron let go and walked off and took Lavender off George's hands. I wanted to talk with George but, I was getting too emotional, I wanted to cry but, I didn't want to see anyone. I walked across the dance floor as quickly as possible, holding back tears…

Within this time of walking back to the table I felt someone grab my arm, soft hands, a man's hand…

I turned around and saw George. He was drinking Smirnoff straight from the bottle. He took a swig and skulled some and looked into my eyes and opened his mouth and then began pushing words out of his mouth…or more to the point sounds. His tie was loose, his vest undone, his jacket undone, his collar had a few drops of vodka on it.

'Her-Her…mione… wil…you…dan…with…meh?' I stared at him horrified. He was drunk as a skunk and asking me to dance when I was in absolutely no mood to go out or to be embarrassed by a drunken young man. I stood up straight and put my arms in a stern fold.

'I don't dance with drunks George Weasley…' I said sternly, I didn't want to be with someone while they were drunk, last time I was around Ron when he was drunk he was trying to get me to go to bed with him and embarrassed me in front of his whole family.

'Please…I'l…nev-never…ask…'gain…' he stuttered out, his eyes were distant, he still had his hand on my arm and it was warm, but only because he was drunk and the alcohol was keeping him warm. I stared at him 'Fine…' I pulled his sleeve on his suit and he didn't move.

'What now?' I asked annoyed, he was changing his mind; I know he was drunk but, I was in no mood for translating. He shook his head and looked at the ground, lifted his head up to suck on the vodka bottle. 'You…don't want…too…' he shook his head again, let go of my arm and walked off; he stumbled over to the drinks area, he grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the fridge and stumbled off out of the tent. With it sculling the Smirnoff… 'That's a sad sight…' I thought and felt worried about him, Luna came over to talk to me and I forgot all about him…

'That hurt…' I thought to myself, 'Oh well I don't need her! I don't need anyone!' tears were rolling down my cheeks, not even someone, I thought cared about me didn't even give a shit. I was kicking up rocks and dirt, scuffing and scraping my shoes. 'No fucks were given that day.' I said I could hear the river flowing on the other side of me and I heard the trees swaying in the wind, rustling, it was colder now but, I didn't care. I opened the Jack Daniel's bottle when the Smirnoff had run out and kept the bottle as I could refill it later…

I stumbled along, making it harder to walk in a straight line; I walked for an hour and half according to my watch and continued till I reached the end of the property. I was thinking to myself the entire time 'You're nothing George, you'll never be anyone, no one will ever love you, no one will ever care about you… if you died tonight no one would care about you…everyone would forget you…just kill yourself.' I repeated these thoughts in my head over and over making me want it more.

I was walking along a soft bank and my legs gave way from underneath me and I collapsed to the ground rolling down the hill to a flat of grass near the river, it was damp, cold and felt like needles were stabbing in my back but it was just little twigs. The river was in front of me, I was considering drowning myself in the river by weighing myself down, but that was a soft way to die.

I lied on the bank drinking, feeling the burn of the whiskey as it went down my throat, feeling it run down my throat and into my stomach still burning. It was making me think of swallowing poison… I didn't know what I was doing, what I was going to do or anything, my brain was in shambles, shutting itself down like there was nothing left I could do…I was trapped, a trapped soul in my own body, I didn't care what happened to me, all I wanted to do was die… then and there.

I got my wand out and held it in my palm. 'WHY WAS I PUT HERE! IF THERE WERE ANY GODS YOU'D SAVE ME FROM MYSELF! YOU'D MAKE MY LIFE WORTH IT AGAIN! YOU'D MAKE MY LIFE MEAN SOMETHING! YOU'D MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS NEEDED…' tears were streaming down my face, my heart was aching, my brain was rattling, my stomach was in knots, my throat felt like it was on fire… I wanted to greet death and I knew I wanted to do it tonight under the mid-autumn sky…

I drank the rest of the Jack Daniels bottle; it fell out of my hand with a small thud and I felt like it was going to me… 'Hopefully I'm going to die of alcohol poisoning.' I clenched my fists and breathed and imagined myself doing it, how I wanted and craved it… I saw the river and it was flowing calmly into the night… I wanted to kill myself, now was the time…

It was 11pm, guests were leaving, everyone was drunk, tipsy or tired or one or two of those. I was tired, had been tipsy earlier but, I didn't want to get dead drunk. Harry and Ginny were leaving, we all made a guard of honour and I noticed everyone in the Weasley family was there except George… 'Where is he?' I thought to myself remembering how I saw him stumbling out of the tent some hours before.

Something was wrong… a car drove Harry and Ginny home because I'm pretty sure they were both drunk and everyone else left, Mr and Mrs Weasley closed down the tent before retiring for bed and didn't even notice George was missing. Everyone was too drunk to notice I wasn't going to the burrow so I went to look for George. 'GEORGE!' I called out and waited for a response… 'Where could he be?' I decided to see the path 'Lumos.' I said and my wand lit up and I went looking for George… it was hard to run in heels but, I kept trying, I didn't know where he was or what he was doing and I felt worried and scared for him…

I was lying there on the grass, letting it surround me like a cold blanket, thinking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out the note that was in it, feeling the crisp pages in my fingers.

I unravelled the note that I had written to ensure I had the right one and I put it back into my pocket. As I did my hand brushed past the long thin piece of wood, which was my wand, in my pocket. I slid it out from the inside of my pocket and held it tightly in my right hand.

My hand was shaking so much; my heart was beating, thumping hard against my chest I thought for a few minutes it was going to leap out like a bat out of hell.

I was scared, not just of what I was capable of right now, not just by myself but, how I would die… I didn't fine a quick death suitable at all, I didn't think I deserved it, I wanted to feel pain, I wanted to feel dying, I wanted to feel life leaving me…I wanted to do it and I was going to… My breathing rate increased and I was heaving, my chest rising and falling with every heartbeat, this was a big thing for anyone to do…

As I lay there in the grass, I felt the cold night air whipping my face, it burned my cheeks with its cold breathe and I moved my head and eyed the bottle of Vodka that was empty lying beside me. I refilled it with a simple charm, picked it up and sculled it. I wanted to be as smashed as possible, I didn't care anymore, I had finally let myself go… as I was staring at the trees across the river I was having flash backs to when Fred died…

His face when he fell, the scared look in his eye, it happened in a flash… I remember falling to my knees to help him but having to defend myself against another death eater and saw Fred lying there, not moving, I knew he was dead and instantly broke down…

I was thinking, I was going to do the killing curse but I remembered a spell I had read in my 6th year in potions, in the Half-blood prince's text book, who turned out to be Professor Snape… I found it a fitting death; I'd be able to feel pain like I wanted to…feel everything leaving me with this curse.

I pointed my wand at myself, my hand shaking, my heart thumping louder and louder till I could hear it in my ear, I looked at my wand and closed my eyes… 'Relax George…it'll be over soon…' I knew the words I just had to find them, I cleared my throat, my heart beating louder and louder and then I let it out 'Sectumsempra!' I shouted and felt as if I'd been sliced my 100 tiny swords…

I skipped a breathe, my heart pace slowed, I released the grip on my wand and it rolled out of my palm as it fell away from my body. I looked up and stared at the starry night sky, I felt my body bleeding out…I drank more vodka… I saw the blood coming out, making my white shirt go from the light colour it was to a dark coat of liquid, thick red liquid flowing slowly like water, thicker than water… I put my hand on my stomach and felt where the incision was 'Take me God…' I felt it coming through my back, it was warm but made me feel like I was lying in a puddle, it flowed onto the grass around me slowly, I felt life leaving me…one drop at a time just exiting my body… 'Let me die tonight please…' I took more sips of vodka waiting for death to reach me and take me away… 'Fuck…' I said as I felt a sharp pain go down my arms…

I was running looking for George, my heels were too much, I pulled out my wand and did a simple spell that would turn them into my brown boots, which were easier to run in because they were old and relied on them. 'Good choice Hermione…could've asked for running shoes…' it was the first thing that popped into my head so I didn't spend any more time on it. 'GEORGE!' I panned across the river bank looking for signs of him, I looked down as close as I could near the river and saw only trees, and I kept running along. 'GEORGE!' I was getting desperate to find him, I was so worried now, and I feared something really bad had happened to him when he was drunk…

'GEORGE!' I heard a female's voice calling out, I thought it was death… my head stirred towards the sound and I raised my neck getting weaker and weaker by the second 'Take me…' I struggled to splatter out 'Take me please…' I was losing blood slowly, the pain was still there but, I grew to enjoy it…

I was so calm. 'GEORGE!' the voice called out again… 'Oh death take me…' I said going in and out of consciousness, seeing bright lights, illusions of Fred. 'I'm coming…let me take your hand…' I whispered. I was watching me, standing over me 'Take my hand Georgie…' I said smiling. I was blacking out slowly; I put my hand on my chest and saw the blood gleaming from the moonlight. 'I can't reach!' I splattered out, coughing more and more 'C'mon George fucking grab my hand!' I was getting angry, my facial expression changed… I reached my hand up to make the George looking down on me calmer 'That's right a little bit more…' Fred was standing with him 'C'mon Georgie…Welcome home…' he was smiling; wearing what he was wearing when he died… tears were coming to my eyes and dripping down my face…

I ran faster, my heart beating, thumping against my rib cage… I then saw something moving on the bank, I pointed my wand in the direction and saw a red headed boy, sprawled out lying there, not moving...

'George…' I ran down the embankment and saw he was surrounded by a dark patch. When my light shined over this I didn't register at first what it was… 'George…what are you…?'

I then realised in that horrifying moment…it was blood. 'OH MY GOD GEORGE!' his hands were cold…tears came to my eyes 'GEORGE!' I tried everything I knew it didn't work and time was running out; he was lying in a pool of his own blood with little cuts on him…

I remembered Harry telling me about his encounter with Malfoy in the boy's bathrooms in our 6th year and I had a flashback…

I remembered the counter curse after reading parts of Snape's old text book… I got my wand out 'Vulnera sanentur…' I said over and over, trying to make it work, I held George's bloodied hand… 'GEORGE DON'T DIE!' tears were streaming down my cheeks, he was laying there, his eyes closed, and he looked so peaceful…his wand was beside him covered in blood; his left hand was clutching a bottle of vodka. I stroked his forehead… 'George, you're so loved, you're special…come back to us…' I couldn't stop crying, my dress was also covered in blood on the hem. I leant over and kissed his ice cold cheek 'Please George.' I wrapped my arms around him and hugged his lifeless body…

'PLEASE GEORGE WAKE UP.' I lent down and put my head on his chest 'DON'T DO THIS GEORGE PLEASE!' the blood was going back into his body… 'You're going to be okay…' I held him against me as the blood went back into his wounds… he began breathing again, going from a faint breathe to where I could see his chest rising and falling, his heart began to beat quicker with every passing minute. 'Thank you God…' I said looking up at the sky…

I was in darkness…the other George was fading… 'I'm sorry George…not this time…' said Fred, I was falling back towards earth, falling back down, and Fred was getting further and further from my grasp. My own twin wasn't able to save me, like I wasn't able to save him… 'Was I going to hell?' I saw my body lying in the arms of someone…a girl…I think it as all blurry, I fell and rested into my body and felt like I was back on earth again.

George's body jumped at one moment, I held him there just him and I for a while 'You're safe now…' I whispered and I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair. I apparated us back to his room after picking up his wand and putting it in his pocket.

When we arrived in his room I took off his jacket, his vest and his shirt. He lied there half naked on the bed, most girls would've forgotten about helping and would've just had a good look at him, but I didn't have the time.

I had just saved his life, he was still unconscious and breathing normally now. I cleaned his clothes using the power of magic of course. I got a shirt out of his pyjama draw and put it on him and laid him back on his pillow, and then I had to remove his trousers.

Having seen George at the beach in previous summers, seeing him in boxers wouldn't bother me. I undid the buckle on his belt and pulled his trousers off his legs, I didn't want to remove anything else, because that'd be embarrassing for anyone knowing someone saw them completely naked and dressed them, that and I thought there was no way me, Hermione Granger had the guts to do it…

So I just cleaned his remaining clothing whilst he was on the bed. I got out some pyjama pants from his draw and put them back on him. I put him into bed properly and made sure he was warm. I then went into my room to discover it was now 2am. 'I hope he thanks me for this…' I said to myself worriedly as I brushed my hair before getting into bed and doing a quick cleaning spell on my dress and went to sleep.

The horrors of the night that had just occurred I couldn't ignore and spent most of the night dreaming of it over and over again… I remembered seeing George sprawled on the ground, dead, blood everywhere, only I couldn't save him. I woke up at 3:30am sweating like mad. 'It's just a dream Hermione…he's safe in the room across the hallway… 'Poor George, he was so sweet and he drove himself to attempting suicide…well suicide…if it weren't for me he was succeeded…' I went to sleep thinking of George and I went to sleep with a smile on my face...

I remember hearing a girl's voice…she was crying…I wasn't dying anymore…I felt weak still and as I went to open my eyes I passed out… that's all I remembered as I woke up in the morning…or was I dead? The stream of light cut across my floor, my suit was in a coat hanger, my wand had blood on it and a thick note I had in my pocket was fully white… I wondered how that worked but I couldn't understand why… I realised I was alive when I felt my heart beating and felt a deep feeling of rage and anger… someone interfered with me and my wishes and I wanted to fucking die and I wasn't even allowed to do that. I clenched my fist and stared across the hallway 'Hermione…' I groaned 'Fucking Hermione and her good soul…' I couldn't hate her for it but, for now I did…

I heard someone come near my door so I pretended to fall back asleep again. My head resting into my pillow… I heard the small heels of the shoes clacking on the wooden floor and it could only mean one person…

'Oh Georgie, my dear boy… I'm so glad we didn't lose you…' it was mums voice. Her hair brushed against my face as she kissed my cheek gently and hugged me. 'Fuck…someone really did save me…it was official… FUCKING WHY?!' I was so angry, I was an inch from death and I couldn't even earn my right to that either…

Mum ran her warm hand across my forehead 'Thank God Hermione noticed you were missing…' she whispered. 'I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW SHE DID! I FUCKING KNEW ONLY SHE WOULD SAVE ME! CAN A MAN NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A WOMAN INTEFERING! I SHOULD'VE GONE TO MY OWN LOCATION HOURS AWAY! BUT NO I HAD TO GET FUCKING DRUNK AND DO IT NEAR THE FUCKING RIVER!' I thought to myself and waited for mum to leave but, my heart was pounding. I knew Hermione was doing what she thought was right…but, why oh why did she tell my parents…

I 'woke up' and sat on the end of my bed, running my hands through my hair, I was even dressed; wait…Hermione dressed me… I hope she didn't…eh so what if she did all girls are the same no matter what their personality…or maybe she didn't…I knew Hermione and I'm pretty sure she didn't move my boxers because they were the same ones… 'Maybe it's good to trust her…' I thought. One minute she doesn't want to know me the next she's saving my life… talk about fucking with logic.

'George… why didn't you say anything we could've helped you…' said mum putting breakfast on the table for dad, I looked around the kitchen, at the clock, at the walls, at the cooking books, at the mess in the lounge room, it was making my head spin and I clenched my fist and smacked it on the table in frustration…

'I DON'T FUCKING NEED HELP! JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE! IF THAT HERMIONE NEVER FOUND ME I'D BE A LOT HAPPIER! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE WHAT PART DOES NO ONE GET, PEOPLE ATTEMPT SUICIDE BECAUSE THEY WANT DEATH OVER LIFE! I WAS AN INCH FROM DEATH AND SHE DECIDED TO SAVE ME! I WANT TO DIE, BLOODY HELL STAY OUT OF MY LIFE; I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM ANYONE EVER AGAIN! YOU'RE ALL FUCKED! I'M GOING TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO RUN MY BUSINESS WHILE I'M GONE; I'M SICK OF EVERYONE'S SHIT!' I was fuming; 'But…George…' my father said grabbing my shoulder, but I shrugged him off and ran upstairs.

I was so pissed that anything I wanted to do I couldn't, even when near succeeding… I ran upstairs and on the way to my room I saw Hermione in the hallway. 'George…I…I didn't mean to…I just…' she said quivering and tears were coming to her eyes, obviously she heard me downstairs 'You just what Hermione? WHEN SOMEONE COMMIT SUICIDE IT'S BECAUSE THEY WANT IT, YOU COULD AT LEAST RESPECT SOMEONE'S WISHES AT LEAST! DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND! BESIDES YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME ALL YOU DID WAS AVOID ME ALL DAY YESTERDAY…' she stared at me silently, looking at the ground. 'I didn't mean to George, I'M SORRY!' she said grabbing my arm, her light brown eyes staring at me intently.

'Oh I have to ask you, did you at least have the decency not to look at my junk last night? Or did you help yourself to that as well?' I said looking in her eyes 'NO! GEORGE I'D NEVER DO THAT! I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!' she stared me directly in the eyes as she began crying, her lip whimpering… 'Well that's a fucking start and with that I closed the door in her face.

I went to my room to pack. I put a few clothes in a suitcase, some shoes, and my wand in my pocket, some empty writing books and a few quills and pens into the bag. A few reading books maybe and my wallet, I got the note off my bed side table and left it on the bed open, for everyone to see. 'You're an animal George...' I said to myself looking in my mirror and remembering what I just did to Hermione… I went to say sorry but, I didn't see the point… it'd make me stay here longer, I had reached total insanity now, I didn't want to be controlled or anything by anyone… I just want to die or at least live alone until I killed myself anyway…I then apparated myself away to a destination of which I only knew…

I waited ten minutes for him to calm down, tears rolled down my cheeks onto my light pink skivvy…I knocked on the door lightly, he didn't answer, I knocked a little louder 'George…?' I called, there was no response.

'Maybe I should come back later…I eyed the door knob and opened it slowly… 'George…? Are you in here?' I asked softly and saw no one was to be found in the room. His draw set and shelves were tidy, but some things were missing off the shelves like his books, his wand was gone and I trembled across the wooden floor to his bed… there was a note lying there… 'This isn't funny George…' I said but, there really was no one in the room… 'George, don't scare me…' I got closer and closer to his bed and saw the note had at least five pages and lots of writing… I picked it up, the pages began shaking in my hands, my heart was beating and I sat on the bed as I went into shock, the note began with 'To whoever wants to read this shit…' within that sentence I knew he was gone and I broke down instantly… 'NO!' I threw myself to the floor with the note in my hand, put my face into his rug and cried…tossing the note across the floor not wanting to read more…'Hermione! Are you okay?' called Mrs Weasley and I just continued crying…

Hope you guys liked it, I tried to put heaps of effort into this chapter, review if you want thanks :)