Chapter Three
November 20, 1990
"Is everything ready?" Severus asked, arranging five little bottles on his old kitchen table.
"Yes. I left a note in Grimmauld Place and I have everything that means something to me. I'm ready."
For two weeks, while Severus brewed the last few potions, Harry had been organising everything. He'd gone through all his possessions and kept only his most treasured items. He left his school books to be donated to Hogwarts and a few old pieces of equipment were to be donated to a second-hand store for students with a budget. Everything else was thrown away.
With his precious few treasures shrunken and packed in an expandable bag, Harry was ready to change his life.
X
"Before we begin, I want you to read this," Severus hands over a piece of parchment with a hasty scrawl covering the surface.
"What's this?" his only reply was a raised brow. "Right." It read:
Gender reassignment potion regime.
Potion 1: This potion will prepare the subject's body for the upcoming change. Take one night before next potion.
Potion 2: The second potion alters the subject's DNA. Magic is subsequently affected. Chromosomes change from Y to X, but no physical changes occur. Take one night before next potion.
Potion 3: The third potion induces physical changes. The subject's appearance changes in musculature and bone structure. Genitalia are not affected. Take three nights before next potion.
Potion 4: The fourth potion continues physical changes. Penis shrinks to form a clitoris; testes become infertile, shrink and are absorbed into the body, inverting to form the vulva. Ovaries, uterus and womb form. Take five nights before next potion.
Potion 5: The final potion induces female hormones to flow – akin to a 'test run'. The subject will commence menstrual cycle; may experience cramps and bloating. The forming of ovaries and womb etc will be completed. Breasts will develop within weeks of final potion. Sizes may vary due to DNA. One week of bed rest is advised for recovery.
Please note: Hormonal imbalance is a possible side effect. The subject may experience bouts of anger, depression, unexplained happiness and/or possible nausea. The gender reassignment potion regime is not traceable. Subjects undergoing change are advised to register with the Ministry of Magic.
Harry looked up at Severus, his face contorted in a look of disbelief and horror. "Are you serious!" he flicked the parchment onto the coffee table and flopped back into the couch. "I mean… I have to actually have a… a… 'menstrual cycle'? Gross!" He pulled a face. "And it's going to take eight days to go through all the potions plus a week of bed rest? This is ridiculous!"
Severus sat gracefully in the armchair next to his couch and sighed.
"I never said this was an easy fix. It is going to be a long process. And possibly quite painful." He wasn't even teasing Harry now. It must be serious.
"Sev… I… I don't know. I just want it all to stop. I know it won't. Unless they think I'm dead or evil, I'll always have a crowd of nutters following me, trying to steal my buttons…" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Do you think I can do this? Is it worth it?"
"I know you're capable of going through this. As for the worth of the experience… that's completely up to you."
After a long, thoughtful silence, Harry gave another weary sigh and looked back up to his, now, close friend.
"I'll do it."
X
The first potion was… revolting. Disgusting. Vile. It promptly knocked him out.
Several hours later, he awoke, finding himself tucked into a soft bed. He was in Severus' guest room.
"Are you hungry?" the man's voice murmured from next to the bed. He shook his head, too tired to even make an effort to speak. "I know you're tired. The potion knocks you out to prepare your hormone levels for the change. You've been asleep for nearly ten hours. You will take the next potion at the same time tonight. If you're still asleep, I'll coax it down your throat." Harry nodded, falling back to sleep.
X
November 22, 1999
Harry woke with a groan, clutching his stomach. He'd taken the third potion only a few hours ago, and he felt like being sick until he felt normal again.
The physical changes were wracking his body, shifting bones and muscles, making him more feminine. As he understood the parchment Severus had given him, this part of the transition would take three days. For another three days, he would feel nauseous and would ache from the shifting of his very makeup. He groaned again, curling into himself.
Soon, a cool cloth was pressed to his forehead; a large, gentle hand rubbed his back. It was heaven. He leant into the hand on his back, urging it to keep going.
"Sev'rus," he murmured, still half asleep, half pain-addled. "Feels good," he managed, before passing out again.
The next time he woke was the next day, around lunch time. He was starving.
Everything ached and clicked and protested every move he made, but he ignored it all for the growls emanating from his stomach.
"Lunch?" Severus appeared, carrying a tray of sandwiches and orange juice.
"Yes! Thank you!" as soon as the tray touched his lap, he dug into the sandwiches, wolfing them down. Once finished, he blinked in thought before asking, "Do you have any chocolate? Or biscuits? Muffins?" He gazed hopefully at his caretaker.
"I will see what I can do," the usually-grumpy man smiled gently, amused by something Harry didn't know about.
"What?" he glared, suspicious.
"The change in hormonal balance has resulted in cravings. This is common for women undergoing their menstrual cycles and pregnancy," he said matter-of-factly. "It seems your body id taking quite well to the gender reassignment. This is very fortunate."
"Yeah. I feel fortunate. My bones ache, Sev!" he grumbled, rubbing his hands along his arms. "My hands are smaller! And listen to me! My voice is breaking! It's like reverse puberty!"
Indeed, his voice was changing already. He had a higher pitch and a slight, feminine lilt. It didn't sound bad, but he was used to a deeper tone.
"Yes. You're becoming a woman. I should hope you were to be less masculine than before – if possible," he smirked. "Imagine, Potter, if you were a bearded lady? You could join a Muggle circus and hide from the Ministry and all your fans with a side show." He chuckled when Harry glared. "Don't worry, I'm sure you will be beautiful," he teased, dodging a slap, leaving the room before his ward could hurl something at him.
Harry sighed, laying back in the soft but firm pillows. He hoped his life after the potions was worth it all.
X
November 25, 1999
The fourth potion was just as bad as the first three – if not worse. Harry nearly gagged as he swallowed the tiny amount of liquid.
"Ugh! Severus! Can't you do something about the taste?" he griped, flopping back in bed.
"No. It would affect the potion. Drink some tea," he said, summoning a cup, saucer and teapot. "Do you need anything else?"
"Uhm…" he fidgeted, playing with his teacup.
"What is it?"
"Would you… give me a foot rub?" he could feel his face flushing brilliantly.
But then, with a sigh, Severus peeled back the bed covers and complied.
The large, warm hands deftly worked the tension from his feet, making him moan embarrassingly. Severus chuckled and continued rubbing the slender little feet Harry now sported.
So far, his body had become smaller; more feminine and rather delicate. He still had a penis and testicles – which he enjoyed using when he could – but his features were now that of a woman.
His hair was longer and thicker; it was easier to tame, too. His eyes were a darker green and he no longer needed his glasses. His face was a smaller, rounder shape, with a cute little nose (even if he said so himself).
His hands and feet were noticeably smaller, his body taking on a softer form – his hips broadening, waist curving in, while his chest became… tender. He could feel his breasts developing; his nipples were sore and the once-firm muscles of his pectorals were softer and more sensitive.
Essentially, he was still male, but now… he felt female. The hormonal changes also affected the way he thought and felt. He found himself being more concerned with things like hygiene and tidiness; he'd bugged Severus about changing the bed linens a few times over the past couple of days; as well as wanting to bathe at least twice a day.
The physical changes would take place within twenty-four hours of drinking the potion. Harry had four hours left. And he couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He was so nervous!
This was the potion that actually made his penis and testicles shrink!
To be honest, he wasn't really that concerned about it because he was overly worried about masculinity and machoness – he wouldn't have decided to go through with any of this if he was – it was the simple reason that he didn't actually know how girls… worked. Sure, he knew the bits they had and roughly what to do in sex and everything… but his only real experience was kissing Cho and Ginny. And both relationships ended one way or another, so he'd never had intercourse.
Thinking about this made his head hurt. He wished he could have been a normal guy… but that's why he was doing this; he wanted a chance at a normal life and really, he didn't care if it was as a male or female.
Just as he was pondering women's underwear, Severus came in with a pot of tea.
"I brought up some tea for your nerves, if you have any. You have about an hour until the gender reassignment phase really starts." He handed a cup to Harry, taking a seat next to his legs – which turned out quite nicely, Harry thought.
"Thanks, Sev. I haven't been able to sleep or eat; I'm a bit nervous actually. Do you know if it'll hurt?"
"Yes, it hurt the last time I tried this. I swore, 'never again, Severus'," he drawled, raising a brow. Harry gave him an unimpressed look over his cup.
"Arse. I meant: do you know if it hurt others who've done this? Are there journals on it? Did anyone make a log of it?"
"Unfortunately, no. This is a rather private situation, so most wizarding folk would keep it to themselves."
"Oh." He hesitated, thinking about his next question. "Do you think… as an anonymous author, I could – should – make a documentation of the process?"
"… That… actually has merit," the man grudgingly admitted, his tone making Harry smirk.
"Surprised?"
"Naturally," he smirked back.
X
Severus had, in his own way, been rather… keen to document Harry's transformation into Iris. He'd set up a pensieve in his study, with quills, bottles of ink and scrolls of parchment, ready to document every aspect.
But first, Harry needed to take the fourth potion. There were only ten minutes to go.
Harry was nervous. Very nervous. In ten minutes, the real transformation began. He would begin the process of complete gender reassignment.
Although he looked and felt female now, he still had male genitals. In twenty-four hours, he'd be completely female.
Over the past few days, he'd made sure he "enjoyed" his male parts when he could. He wasn't the kind of person to worry about "male pride" or the size of his penis… but he liked masturbating. It felt good. Really good. And, as embarrassed as he was to admit it even to himself, he had no idea how women got off.
He knew how sex was supposed to work; "Insert Tab P into Slot V", etc, but… how did women do it? How did they masturbate? He was fine with being a virgin, male or female, but he liked to have some kind of stress relief available to him!
That's it! I have no choice… I'll have to ask Severus… Well… if I can't find out before I die of… do women get blue balls?
Just as he was pondering the issue, at one minute to go, Severus arrived with the usual tray od tea and the potion.
"How do you feel?" Severus handed over the vial.
"Still nervous," he replied, drinking the foul liquid as quickly as possible. "Ugh! That's the worst one yet!" He handed back the empty vial, swapping it for a cup of tea.
Severus merely smirked and sipped his own cup of tea. Harry glared at him suspiciously.
"What?"
"I'd hate to see you imbibe something like whiskey. Your face would never unscrew," he raised his eyebrows, still smirking.
"Git. I've had whiskey before… and that's why I don't drink it now," he sniffed, poking out his tongue. Severus chuckled.
"Very lady-like," he teased. Harry rolled his eyes. He wasn't Iris yet.
As soon as this phase was over, he'd told Severus he'd like to be called Iris. He felt female, and looked female… but he wanted to be female before taking on his new identity.
With that thought, he promptly passed out, not even having time to notice Severus catch his teacup and place the tray on the bedside table.
X
Several hours later, Harry awoke… only to wish he hadn't.
His stomach rolled and roiled, giving him a sick, nauseous feeling in his chest and throat; his head pounded, aching in a way he'd never experienced. Sharp pain shot across his skull, straight through the centre, while the rest just ached with a constant dull throbbing.
Through this, he still managed to feel the pain in his groin.
His penis was aching similarly to his head, though it felt as though it was being frozen off. His testicles felt like a troll had clubbed him as hard as it could; his pelvis, now curved into a feminine shape, was aching and tingling.
With a groan, he rolled into a foetal position, trying to ward off the pain and nausea, before passing out once more.
AN: And so it begins…