Love Triangle Murder
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 9 and all their legal stuff. Just the story I made up off their characters which fully and totally only belong to the creator's of Final Fantasy 9.
Heads Up: Eiko, in this story, is at the age of 13, but still looks like she's only 7. She's the only person that's really off on age when it comes to other characters in the game.
Gluttony
Quina was out catching frogs when Kuja found him. Slowly he walked up to the creature, not posing as a threat, just watching him.
"So..Garnet's murder..Quina..." He began. Quina stopped what she was doing and looked up at Kuja with distrust in her eyes.
"Me know nothing." It stated, slowly backing away from the man.
"Oh, we think you do, Quina." Came the voice of Zidane who was right behind her. Quina jumped in surprise as it turned quickly to see its former friend.
"Why you here?" It asked of them.
"To ask you a few questions.." Came the voice of Flair who was now entering the pond area. Now Quina had three men cornering him like a lost little cow. The creature was now twitching and shaking slightly as it back up against some reeds.
"I KNOW NOTHING!" It yelled at them, fear in it's eyes as the men kept moving closer and closer. Having enough of this, Quina took out his Fork and glared at them. "Back or I eat you!" It told them, trying to sound serious, but with a voice like his, it was hard to do so.
"Why'd you plan it out? What did she ever do to you?" Zidane asked, anger in his voice.
Quina, with cat like reflexes jabbed at the bandit who was taken by surprise and felt the blow hit his gut. "Bitch!" He seethed as he got out his dagger, ready for a fight.
"No, Zidane, we have to keep him alive till we find out some information." Kuja told him, eyes never leaving the chubby, frog loving creature. "Tell us what we want to know, or feel my wrath." He said.
"Can kiss Quina's hairy ass, you can!" Yelled the glaring Quina who thus turned around and mooned the company. Zidane and Flair both gagged while Kuja took this opportunity to shove a very large stick up the creatures bung hole. A cry of pain was heard as Kuja held him down with one hand and dug in deeper with the sick using the other.
"Tell us, or this keeps going in." He told the in pain Quina.
"Quina never tell dick sucking fag Kuja, anything!" He blurted through pained tears as Kuja's anger boiled up inside.
"I." Kuja began, shoving the stick deeper and deeper with each word spoken," Am..Not..A..FAG!" With the last word the sick was shoved all the way inside Quina's ass and not even a nub was left to be seen of the ingested stick. Still holding the moaning and shaking creature, Kuja told the other two men to go grab him another stick when Quina gave into defeat.
"Stupid bitch didn't like my food. Quina start hating Garnet. Quina want her head on platter. Then Quina met with man who wanted girl dead too. We plan out murder. Then little summoner wanted in too, so she help make sure things run smooth. I just pawn, did nothing really, man did all the work."
"Who was he?" Asked Kuja, taking a stick Zidane had found, showing Quina he was serious about shoving another up there if he didn't get some answers quick.
"I NO NOT! HE HAD HOOD ON! WAS NOT TELLING QUINA NAME! ME SERIOUS!" She said, tears running down it's face.
"Where did he come from then?" Kuja asked.
"HE COME FROM ANOTHER CONTINENT! SOME ISLAND IN MIDDLE OF OCEAN!" Quina told him.
"What was his reason for wanting her dead?" Kuja asked.
"I..know not..." Quina lied, which made Kuja take the stick and start pushing in up, hitting the other end of the first stick.
"OKAY!!" Yelled the in gruesome pain Quina, "HE SAY HE ONCE WAS SUITOR FOR HER. WAS SHOT DOWN BY HER. SHE WOULD NOT HAVE HIM. HE ANGRY AT BITCH GARNET. SAY IF HE COUDLN'T HAVE HER THEN NO ONE WOULD!!"
Kuja nodded his head and took the stick away. "Thank you Quina. Now that we have our information, I don't think we need you anymore. It wouldn't be safe to keep you alive. Since you are the plotting type now..." Kuja then snapped his fingers close to Quina's but and a fire started on the stick inside her. The creature began to burn from the inside out as the group left her thrashing about in unimaginable pain..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eiko was still on the air ship, because she was still a child, Kuja saw no need to kill her for being apart of the Garnet Conspiracy. She greeted them with a smile as she asked them if they got what information they had needed.
"Yes. It seems we have an adventure ahead of us. It appears the main person wanting Garnet dead was one of her past suitors." Kuja said.
"Poor duce bag couldn't handle her rejection." Remarked Zidane.
"Anyways, we'll need to get some supplies before we set off to search the ocean for an island inhabited by this sorry loser." Kuja stated, starting the air ship and taking off in the direction of Dali. While in the air, Zidane got up the courage to ask Kuja a very interesting question.
"So Kuja..You know back there..When Quina said that stuff about you being gay..I was wondering..." He was cut off by his brother answering,
"If you keep this up I'll shove dynamite up your sorry ass and watch as you explode into little pieces confetti."
Zidane wisely dropped the subject for another day. It seemed his brother was very sensitive about that subject..which meant what?.Oh well, Zidane would find out eventually. He had an idea already set up in his mind. It dealt with inviting all the men from the addresses in Kuja's little black book, to Kuja's 25th birthday party and planting gifts for him around the Desert Palace from the local store called 'Erotic Essentials'.
Making it to the little town, Kuja, being not on the Alexandria's most wanted list, went out to buy some supplies. Leaving the annoyed Flair, frightened Zidane, and horny Eiko all alone on the ship...
When Kuja returned, it seemed like something had occurred in his absence. He noticed that Zidane had a black eye, claw marks on his face, and his pants were missing..Eiko was no where to be found, while flair was leaning against the side of the ship, smiling to himself..Not wanting to know what on Gaia had happened, Kuja just walked away from the group, down to the brig. There he put away the supplies and then walked over to the sleeping queen. Kuja's eyes were first on her soft facial features, then they worked their way down the rest of her lovely body. They stopped at the little bump growing slowly, but surely on her belly. She had to be around four months along..Damn those bastards who had done this to her! She didn't need another kid to deal with..Their own little accident when she was younger had been toughly taken care of, now this? Maybe..he'd just erase it from her..All he had to do was take his hand and...
"Kuja, what are you doing?" Asked the now fully clothed Zidane.
Regrettably, Kuja took his hand away from the princesses belly and turned to his brother. "Nothing, just feeling how the babe is."
Zidane looked at this with surprise as he questioned his brother some more, "So, you can feel it inside her?.Is it..healthy? Can you tell?" He asked, daintily. You could tell in Zidane's eyes that he still was unsure how he felt about not being 100 percent sure if the kid was his or not. Kuja pitied him slightly, but then answered him.
"Yeah, it's fine." Then the magician got up and walked out of the brig, leaving his brother to be alone with the enchanted queen.
"Where's Zidane?" Flair asked Kuja as he emerged out of the brig.
"Where do you think?" He said, nodding down in the brig. Flair shrugged his shoulders and said nothing more as Kuja walked over to the wheel of the ship and started up the machine once more. They would look for this plotting ass hole and hopefully find him soon..Kuja really didn't want to be still searching for the scum when Garnet his nine months pregnant..
Inside the brig, Zidane was sitting next to Garnet, holding her hand. He felt the ship rise into the air and gave a sigh. "I know..the last thing I said to you wasn't right." He told her, as if she could really hear him. "And I'm sorry I left you alone to carry this load alone on your shoulders..quot; God, why was he doing this? It made no sense talking to someone who couldn't hear you..yet, he had felt so guilty, about abandoning her when all she wanted was his love and care. He placed his free hand on her stomach and wondered silently to himself when the thing would kick inside her like some babies did. "I don't care if it's not mine..You're still my girlfriend, and I won't leave you just because of this..Cause truth be told, Garnet, I haven't been that faithful either..quot; With those words spoken, he let go of her small, soft hand and walked back up to the deck.
"Where are we going first?" Zidane asked his brother.
"We'll search the island around this continent first, just in case, then go onto other ones." Kuja told him, taking his eyes off the ocean and looking at his saddened brother. "Don't worry, we'll find him..quot; He said, reassuringly. As the ship traveled on, the group looking out at the island and not seeing anything on them, Eiko came out from her hiding place and shouted to the world, "I'm a woman!"
The group of guys just looked at each other and didn't say anything. They really didn't want to hear this..
"Didn't you guys hear me?! I'm having my first period!" Eiko yelled with joy, while Zidane began to barf off the side of the ship.
"How old are you, Eiko?" Asked the curious Kuja.
"I just turned Thirteen a few weeks ago!" She answered, grin all over her face.
"You're quite small for your age. You still look like you're seven." Kuja commented.
"Hey! You don't believe me? Then have a look!" She began, getting ready to show them, making Zidane cry and Flair began to blow chunks off the other side of the ship, when Kuja stopped her.
"I believe you." He told her, which made her smile all the more as she shipped off to someplace on the ship.
"Well that was creepy." stated Flair, wiping off some vomit on the side of his mouth.
"No kidding..." Replied the sickened Zidane.
"You know..I think she still really likes you Zidane..I didn't want to ask at first, but why did you have your pants off when I came onto the ship?" Kuja asked.
Flair chuckled while Zidane turned from them both and looked out at the open sea.
"Eiko was giving Zidane..." Flairs words were cut off as Zidane began to sing 'I'm Cid the eighth I am!' Really loudly. Kuja just smiled at this as they continued their search for Garnet's would be killer.
--
VashandNaomiForever: So what did you think? I added a lot of humor to this, I hope you found it some what funny..I did. So tell me what you thought and what you think will happen next! I'm going to do something kinda unexpected when it comes to the man responsible for starting the plot of killing Garnet. Please bear with me! :) R&R! Oh! Also, after this story is complete, I will make another story about what was talked of above. Kuja's 25th b-day party! Just a heads up about that to those who found the idea interesting...