Alec: the tent was white. White and elegant, and where a wedding was about to proceed. I had never met another person who made me feel as light as air, or enchanted me to the point of breathlessness. None like Magnus, who i loved so much it was painfully beautiful.
But, crouching in the lavendar bush across the green from the marquee, cold and numb, the memory of a dream, where high marble ceinging touched the sky, and camille taunted me with unforgiving bitterness, consumed me like a wave.
I felt the touch on my shoulder, soft, without even registering anyone was behind me, and jumped shakily, as Magnus settled himself down gracefully, his pristine white suit rustling amongst the flowers. He took me all in, eyes dancing, for he had always seen me better than i or anyone else had. His gaze brushed from my nervously flickering eyes, to my unbuttoned, crisp whit shirt, no jacket, and my plain black trousers, and finally, his cat eyes gleaming with amusment, my bare feet.
"I hope, alexander, you are not getting cold feet." He chirped in his silky voice, vowels lilting, because of his accent, like flowers. The hiccup chocked my throat, an embarrasing mixture of a stunned laugh and disbelievement. I remember Izzys wedding, and how she had marched with me up isle (demanding it was I that gave her away, after Father died in the night scout) with a devoting confidence about the love she felt for the boy with the oversized glasses, curling brown hair and inked skin. The boy that had stole Isabelles unbreakable heart, with heroic words and unmovable love. The boy that had once held her, gently, sharp, feline canines kissing the skin on her neck. Not that he would be biting her anymore, alec thought ruefully... At least not in the conventional sense... She had not been afraid. They vowed, they kissed, they danced and they never wavered. He still looked at her like she captured the sun, and hid it in her soul.
"Magnus, ive never wanted anything so much in my whole life. You at night. You in the morning. You everyday, for the rest of forever. I want it so much, it terrifies me. Youre my forever, but..." Im not yours, i finished mentally, registering now why i was cold; my cheeks were damp, tears sprinkled down my cheeks like morning dew.
"Love, what is this really about?" And I told him, because he was the only one i could tell. I told him about the dream of Camille pulling the life out of my body, and I told him about the conversation with Jace many nights ago on the steps of the institute, and of how, even as i cries when my fathers body was burnt, I heard people at the funeral, whispering almost inaudibly about the embarrasement Robert mustve felt, having a gay son. When i finished, the sky was the same golden, in the setting sun, as Magnus's sad eyes. He laced our fingers together, and with his spare hand, cupped my neck gently and lowered my face to his chest. The musically steady drum of his heart beat against my wet cheek. I closed me eyes. "Hear that, Alec? Every beat before i met you belonged to you, and every beat from now until the end of forever is for you. It doesnt matter to me how we choose to show the world this," he began to glide towards the tent, fingers still interlocked, fading sunlight twinkling like flames in his silky black hair, "through a rune, or a golden ring or simply a vow. All i know is i am grateful for every moment with you." And he grinned.
Later on, after the ceremony, after jaces fingers manipulating the keys of the piano to make them sound like angels were singing, after I danced with Isabelle, flickering in her orange gown like a candle, and kissed Magnus for the first time, after saying my vows, I sat comfortably in a corner of the tent, watching my husband waltz with a giggling..ever so slightly drunk Clary, and an ever so very drunk Isabelle's head resting on my lap, where she had passed out, unsurprisingly. Stroking her hair, listening to the soft music and watching as the dancers glided and twirled like smoke from fire, I understood what Jordan had meant, when many years ago now, his smiling, honest voice had cooed to jace, and he had spoke of peace..
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An indignant pair of pale turquoise eyes stared up at me, dark frows furrowing in agitation. His honey golden skin glowed in the light given off by the lamp on their sitting room table, and for one second, I found myself as disorientated as a star at midday, still stuck in a world of crystal white tents and lavender...
"Honestly, you were halfway through the story of yours and Daddy's wedding, and you know its my FAVOURITE," the emphasis and sincerity in his obviously annoyed voice gave me the ridiculous urge to chuckle, ridiculous because i knew how that would infuriate this little tornado of a boy, "and you just fell asleep!... Daddy, the chairman wanted to redesign the curtains with his claws. You were asleep. Dad is out, and I personally think the curtains look better now..." "Max Raphael Lightwood! You know very well chairman Meow is not a real estate agent..."
My son threw up his arms in a expressive manner, currently uncontained blue fire crackling from his fingertips, "oh pleeeeease dont be angry with me. I love you soo much. I love...ooh daddys home! Do you think he bought me back the comic i wanted?" At the sound of Magnus - who had been out with Isabelle all day on what he explained was a 'shopping extranveganzer of clothes, glitter and expense - his keys rattling in the door, the boy scrambled out and bounded with the clumsy grace only a 4 year old could have, and hurtled himself into the warlocks arms as he strode through the door, glittering in a velvet sweater, as he kissed Max ontop of his head of dark spikes, supporting him with arm in the crook of his elbow, the other arm reaching for my hand. He dropped me a kiss full of promise of what was to come when Max was tucked up and sleeping, and whispered in my ear, the most beautiful sounding, indonesian word i forever loved to hear him say 'aku cinta kamu'. Slinging me a smile, that even after 5 years of marriage still made me feel like my insides were made out of sugar, he strode out the room, towards the baby's bedroom, baby still tucked neatly into his arm, head on Magnus's shoulder. As they dissapeared down the hall, i listened to the soft sound of Magnus cooing max to sleep, max's musical laughter emminating through my body like a second heart bead. I closed my eyes, and listened.