22. And start calling him Mr. Mutated Pineapple Head.
"HEY MR. MUTATED PINEAPPLE HEAD!" with the biggest grin he could possibly manage. "You…" If there was a way to kill someone with words, Kakashi nailed it. He charged at Naruto at full speed and punched him. Naruto disappeared. 'What? A shadow clone?' Kakashi turned and saw all the people still staring at him. He quickly brought his hands together to do a disappearing justu. Once he was away from the crowd, he made his way to Tsunade's. As he entered her office, Shizune looked up and started laughing. "Oh crap the makeup!" Kakashi ran into the bathroom to take it off and wash his hair out. When he was done, his face was as red as an apple from all the scrubbing, but the dye wouldn't come out. He considered taking out his pocket knife and cutting all his hair off, but then he'd look like an older version of Naruto. That had to be avoided at all costs. Kakashi sighed and left the bathroom. As soon as he was gone, Naruto and Sakura popped up from the stall. "I told you we should've used the sharpie as eyeliner," Naruto groaned. Sakura kicked his legs out form under him and his face landed in the toilet. "Eewie Naruto! Don't drink toilet water!" Sakura made her way out humming the tune to Auld Lang Syne.
When Kakashi entered the office, Tsunade was there drinking tea. "How can I help you Kaka-," she spit out the current tea in her mouth. "Oh my, Yamato was right when he said you wanted to go on C-rank missions so bad you dyed your hair. "
23. Bribe Tsunade with sake to send him on pathetic C-rank babysitting missions only.
"Nothing like babysitting children, right Kakashi?" Kakashi's jaw dropped. "Umm, I don't think…" Tsunade leapt over her desk and tackled him. "Are you defying my orders? Ka-ka-shi?" Each syllable was crisp and covered his face with spittle. "Yes ma'am." Kakashi was shaking. Tsunade could be a damn beast at times. "Good, there's a group of children in the front. Now GO!" Kakashi walked backwards out of there. On his way you, he passed Yamato. Yamato stopped. "Now where are you headed of to my good friend?" Yamato teased. Kakashi growled. Yamato held his hands up in a defensive position. "Ha-ha, well good day! And that hair takes off about 10 years…" Yamato winked and rounded the corner. "Asshole," Kakashi muttered as he headed out.
^.^
Kakashi was looking forward to coming home to a nice evening of reading and quiet after his "fun-filled" day of screaming and barf. 'Well, at least I got a house today.' He took the kids on a field trip to the real estate office and succeeded in renting a condo. 'Now, I just need my Icha-Icha books.' Kakashi snuck back to his old house and went to his room to grab his Icha-Icha collection. When he couldn't find them, he panicked and started searching around the entire. When he got to his kitchen, his whole world fell apart.
24. Burn his Icha Icha collection in a bonfire in his kitchen and dance around it chanting, "boom shaka laka laka, boom shaka laka laka" wearing war-paint.
In the middle of his kitchen there were his precious Icha-Icha books crackling to the rhythm of the "boom shaka laka laka" they were chanting. Sai was up on the counter acting like a gorilla with purple war paint and Naruto was trying to start a bigger bonfire. "Damn it! Why'd we use all the gasoline?" Naruto looked up and noticed Kakashi standing there. "Oh hey oh-so-gracious donor of this house." Sai wiggled his fingers and blew Kakashi a kiss. "What did you do? Where are the kids this house belongs to?" Kakashi fretted. Naruto and Sai stepped forward and finished each other sentences. "Well, they gave this house to-" "two" "very" "lonely" "kids." They both made the puppy dog face about an inch away from Kakashi's face. "And well, we decided we didn't like these perverted books, so burned them." Kakashi could've cried. Instead he turned around to look for Jiraya. Maybe he had some extra copies.