The Bond

We landed safely in a lake and thankfully it was deep enough for us. Once we reach the shore I collapse on my back and try to catch my breath. Christopher sits hunched over catching his breath along with me.

"You ok…?" I ask him.

"Ask me again once my heart calms down." he says half joking, "I'm fine all things considered…how did we make that?" he looks up at the high cliff we just descended from. "We should be dead."

"If it wasn't for Soul…we would be…"

"Soul?" I realize what I just said and look away,

"Soul is…" I bite my lower lip

"We can talk about it later."

"What?"

"Right now we need to get back up there and make sure the others are ok." He's right about that we can talk about it later.

We head back and find that all the imposters are all tied up thanks to the others and no one seems to be hurt. Christopher worried about the man shot back in the teashop heads back to make sure he's alright. I follow him but only to the entrance of the shop. I explain to him how it might be better that I don't show my face after what just took place in there so I wait for him outside. All the while I try to see what he's thinking by his expression. I can't really tell what he's thinking. I can't tell if he's scared of me, shocked unsure of what I am, who I am. I went from the shy, quiet girl to something else entirely. After a while Christopher comes back out of the shop. I straighten up,

"H-how is he?"

"it was a flesh wound so he should be fine after some time passes. The bullet went clean through so…"

"That's good…" I rub my arm again but force myself to stop and look at him, "I know I promised to tell you what happened back there…but can we wait until we're at least back in our room…alone. I…I don't want anyone else listening." He places a hand on my shoulder and nods.

For the time being Christopher and I act as if nothing even happened. Although I keep thinking about the conversation that will eventually happen I try to act normal. we find rooms for the night and again I have to share a room with Christopher everyone seems to be pretty tired so they all retire to their rooms and so do we. No one seemed to think anything was off as we tried to act normal. It almost feels as though nothing even happened; that it's all normal again. Once in our own room though I can feel things become tense again. Moonlight comes in through the window helping me to find a place to sit on the bed. He lights a lantern giving the room more light. The shadows dance on the walls as I watch them thinking of a way to even start explaining. His footsteps seem to echo in the room as Christopher comes and sits down next to me. The silence between us is completely unbearable as my mind continues to buzz. I've never trusted anyone enough to tell them about Soul my whole entire life has been me trying to keep him secret from others. and now here I am about to tell that secret and I don't even know where to even start or even how. My heartbeat quickens as I try to focus.

"You don't have to rush yourself." I look at him, "All I ask is that you just tell me the truth." I nod and take a deep breath. I had every intention of telling him the truth I just need to start with the beginning.

"Do you remember when I was screaming that one night how I was calling for someone?"

"Yes. I think it was the same name as the one you used just a little while ago too." I nod.

"Soul…his name is Soul. For as long as I can remember Soul has been with me every day, through every storm, through good and bad…he's always been there."

"ever since you were born?"

"Most likely…my earliest memories of him are of when I was about three…four years old."

"You're not a seer otherwise you would have the same marks as them right?"

"As far as I can tell no…it's all Soul." I watch as he looks around and I find myself smiling slightly, "if you're wondering if he's here in this room right now, he is and no he's not a ghost."

"Heh…was it that obvious what I was thinking?" I nod, "so then…what is he?" I take a deep breath thinking of how to answer that.

"To be honest neither of us know for sure what he is… his memories are almost all gone; and the ones that are there are just random fragments of his life. The best way he was able to explain it to me was that…he's a form of chaotic energy…able to do all these unusual things…and his mind his entire being has somehow merged with this mass of energy. But no one can see him. Not even me."

"You can't see him yourself?" I shake my head. "I don't understand then how is it that you know he's there?"

" I can feel him." I look him straight in the eye, "Soul it bound to me; it's like a symbiotic bond between us. We're connected so much to the point that he survives on that bond."

"Wait a symbiotic bond does it hurt you in any way?"

"No…" I take a minute to collect my thoughts trying to explain this bond, "Soul can't survive with out this bond."

"So…he benefits from it because you keep him alive."

"It's a bit deeper than that…his life energy is so intertwined with mine that if somehow the bond between us were to be severed he would die."

"And you?"

"Nothing would happen to me if he were to die alone but if I were to die…"

"He would as well…" I becomes silent while I let him think for a moment I'm sure he still has many questions, "is there…is there a way to break this bond between you?"

"No…the bond between us is so strong that it's nearly unbreakable. But he doesn't hurt me with this bond I'm not harmed by it. but because of it I can always sense his presence…he's always with me…" minutes pass again before either of us speak. I'm not sure how he's taking this but his reaction so far is better than what I though it would be. I'm still not sure I'm explaining I well enough though.

"is he the reason you feel the need to distance yourself from everyone?" Christopher finally asks. "He's the one who…killed that person before right." The question makes my heart pang with regret, "I'm sorry if that sounded harsh-"

"It's fine…that's exactly what Soul did…does when people try to hurt me." I can sense Soul's emotions as they shift to being conflicted. I can tell he doesn't like where this is going. "I'm going to have to explain it to him…"

So long as he understands…I don't care what he thinks of me…

"Well, you should, this is about you too."

I told you I don't trust them…

"You also said he hasn't given you any reason not to."

Stop using my words against me…!

"Then stop being so stubborn and maybe I will."

"You have conversations with him?" I turn to Christopher remembering that he's here as well. That's right he can't hear Soul.

"Um…sorry I forgot I was talking…um I am the only one who can hear to Soul so yes I have conversations with him. Because I always kept to myself he was the only one that I could talk to so he and I grew close…he's like an over protective brother in some sense of the phrase…"

"Some sense…?"

"This is where… what happened comes into play."

"You mean him killing that man." a pillow hits him on the back of the head making Christopher jump up from the bed.

"Soul…! Stop…!" I demand.

He started it…

"That doesn't MEAN attack him."

HE doesn't need to keep saying it like that.

"Um…I'm sorry if I insulted him; that wasn't my intension."

"It's not your fault…SOUL! just needs to learn not to take things so seriously."

Then tell him to watch his mouth.

"Ok…um Soul right?" Christopher sort of looks around as if trying to locate him in some general direction, "If I what I said offended you I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude."

Hmpf… I sigh as Soul leaves it be seeming like he takes the apology and goes about his business. I gesture for Christopher to sit back down and cautiously he does so.

"He…has a bit of a temper doesn't he…?" he tries to choose his words wisely,

"If Soul didn't like you he would have just outright attacked you just now rather than throw a pillow. He doesn't like strangers but…he's gotten to observe how you and the others interact with one another and around me if he thought you all were a threat he would have killed all of you by now…Eduardo especially."

"I guess that's fine then." I look down at the floor remembering what I've been trying to tell him this whole time. I bite my lower lip trying to calm myself,

"The…reason why I try to stay away from people was one I was scared of them but…the bigger reason was Soul. Sometimes Soul an become really terrifying….he's always felt the need to protect me. the problem is…he attacks first and asks questions later. He becomes like a vicious guard dog of a lion trying to defend it's cubs…when someone tries to attack me or threatens me…like what happened back in the teashop…although I'll admit I told him to do that this time…but only because you would have died if you had tried helping me… I wouldn't have told him to otherwise. But because that man tried to hurt me…"

"Soul reacted aggressively…" I nod.

"He's like that all the time…if he even thinks that someone it trying to attack he responds just like he did earlier…he doesn't show any mercy…sometimes I can stop him…but most of the time…I can't. I don't control him…he has a will of his own and for some reason he feels an overwhelming need to protect me from what or who could hurt me. And it's because of that…"

"It's because of that you never let yourself be around anyone." I nod. "So in some sense he's like a defense mechanism that thinks for itself trying to protect you." I nod. It falls silent again now that I've finished explaining things.

I know I've explained things but now that he knows what is he going to say? Soul didn't help with that pillow earlier. He was so shocked when Soul killed that person and I admitted that I let him. He may think I would willing let him kill others…

"I'm sorry…" I say, "I told Soul to kill that person because of what that Seer had told me. She told me I would have to make a choice between keeping my secret of saving a friend. I may have had good intensions behind it but that still doesn't give me the right to let Soul kill people. I shouldn't have let him do it. I understand if you want me to go or if you don't think you can trust me even. I'm sorry…"

I feel as though I'm going to cry but manage to hold my tears back.

"You don't have to say sorry Airi…" I look up at him and he pets my head, "I think I understand you a little better now or I guess I should say both of you. I can understand why you would want to keep yourself away from others because of him; I also understand the situation a little better now that I know about Soul."

"You're not afraid of me or Soul?"

"I would be lying if I said that I didn't have any ifs about this situation and I'm still trying to wrap my head around Souls existence but no I'm not scared of either of you. But Airi…it might be a good idea to tell the others about him."

"What? Why?"

"What if something like this comes up again? If you have Soul help you or if something happens that sets him off and you can't stop him how do you think they would react to you both. They would not appreciate you keeping something like this from them. I know you didn't really have a choice in telling me and I understand I really do, I understand that it was difficult to trust me and tell me what was going on and that it will be even more difficult telling the rest of them but telling them now would help them understand you better and trust you better than holding off and keeping it a secret."

"But…what if…they don't understand…? What if they don't trust me? I mean…slowly I've been letting some of my walls down but I've been trying to keep my distance to keep you all safe."

"I know but think about it Airi…they've been getting the wrong idea from the start right? It would clear things up for them and Airi trust is something that you earn. How are they to trust you if you don't trust them?" what he hays makes sense. I haven't been very trust worthy and they're reacting to it in the same way.

He's one thing but the others…are you sure you want to tell them?

"You still don't trust them?"

It's not about trust…they may turn on you if we do tell them.

"I don't think they would…they're not like the others."

That may be but…

"I'm tired of this Soul…Aren't you tired of hiding and being on edge all the time around them?"

…

"At least around them don't you want to be able to not hide?"

…

"Soul?"

"What is it?"

"He just stopped talking to me…he may not like the idea of them all being aware-"

Alright…

"What?"

We'll try it your way this time…if you want to tell them, I won't stop you."

"Airi?" I nod "So you'll tell them?"

"Yes…but please don't tell them about what happened tonight unless absolutely needed. It's bad enough that Soul will have to do something in order to prove it to them he exists, I don't think it will help telling them that he's killed people before."

"Alright I guess that's fair." He pets my head again, "Thank you for being honest with me Airi. I appreciate it." I look down feeling relieved and for some reason tears start falling down my face.

I…I don't understand. Why am I crying like this? All I did was just tell him about Soul. I try to wipe my eyes but bigger tears only replace them.

"I'm s-sorry…I- I don't know why I'm crying so much…I'm sorry I'll s-stop now…" but the tears don't stop now matter how much I try to stop them. Christopher hugs me against his chest holding me gently,

"It's ok…you can cry as much as you want. it must have been difficult to keep something like that a secret for so long." His words seem to act as a key to a gate and all my emotions run free and I can't even try to stop my tears. He lets me cry for as long as I need to until I fall asleep.

Please leave me some feed back as to whether or not I should continue this story or not.