IF THIS CHAPTER LOOKS WRONG OR CORRUPTED, PLEASE GO TO THE AO3 ACCOUNT LISTED IN MY BIO. YOU WILL FIND A COMPLETE COPY OF THE STORY THERE.
The Doctor had basically carried Yaz back to the lockers. She got herself and Yaz dressed, incredibly thankful for the automatic system. It had taken a bit of tinkering, but she had finally gotten a local teleport up and running, using it to take them directly back to the Tardis.
The Doctor had laid Yaz down on one of the couches in the library in front of the fire. She kept trying to read through her novel, anything to help pass the time while she waited for Yaz to wake up, but instead she opted to pace back and forth, looking longingly at Yaz every once and a while.
As she was making her two thousand and thirty first turn she heard a strangled gasp to her right.
"Doctor!"
The Doctor was at Yaz's side instantly. She brushed Yaz's hair off to the side of her face absent mindedly while staring into her eyes. She began to see tears forming there, before Yaz leaned forward, pressing her face into the Doctor's neck trying to muffle her cries.
"I'm here. Oh Yaz, I'm so sorry." The Doctor wrapped her arms around Yaz, the simple act calming her.
She felt awful. Here she was, using Yaz as a crutch, while she was in pain no less.
"Are you feeling any better?" The Doctor asked, hoping that was the case. She reached over to grab a conveniently placed glass of water on a small stool near her, handing it to Yaz, who took it gratefully.
"Yeah, I guess I'm feeling better than before. My head hurts, and the dreams…" She trailed off.
"You'll have headaches. What you did shouldn't even be possible for a human. What dreams?" The Doctor questioned, having just registered that tidbit of information.
"It's just, when I was asleep, I kept having these nightmares." Yaz teared up again.
The Doctor stopped breathing.
She tried to keep her face calm, but she was beginning to panic.
"What kind of nightmares were they?" She knew she shouldn't be interrogating Yaz, she had just woken up, but she needed to know.
"I don't really know. I've never seen anything like 'em. Just fire and screams, people dying. Like a war zone. I tried to help them, but I couldn't move, I couldn't talk. It was like they knew I was there, though. Like they blamed me for what was happening."
The Doctor was trying desperately to hold it together. She didn't know what to say. How could she make this better? She didn't think 'Sorry those were kind of my nightmares about the time war that I projected into your head by accident' was going to suffice.
"Doctor?" Yaz raised her hand, brushing off some errant tears that had escaped the Doctors eyes, making her flinch.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong Yaz, I'm fine. Those dreams were just random." Is what the Doctor wanted to say. Instead all that came out was a rueful laugh mixed with a sob.
This time Yaz was hugging her. Despite her best efforts, as soon as she felt Yaz's arms around her she broke down. She started blubbering, mostly the words 'I'm sorry' in a multitude of different ways. All the while Yaz whispered reassurances in her ear.
"I should never have let you do this. I should never have let you get hurt." The Doctor sniffled.
Yaz pulled back to look at the Doctor.
"Its okay, Doctor. I wanted to. I knew it was risky and I chose to do it. It's not your fault."
"The dreams were mine!" The doctor blurted.
A beat went by. To the Doctor, it felt like an hour of time.
"Those dreams," Yaz began hesitantly, "they were yours?"
The Doctor looked to the floor, cheeks burning. She was shivering, trying to prevent any more tears from escaping. She couldn't lie her way out of this.
"Yes. They're from the time war. That's what ended my people." The Doctor murmured, chancing a look at Yaz's face.
Yaz looked shocked. The Doctor was terrified. She had no idea what Yaz would think. What if Yaz was horrified? She had a front row seat to the Doctor's worst thoughts. She couldn't imagine it was pleasant. The Doctor couldn't blame her if she never wanted to see her again.
"Oh, Doctor." Yaz breathed.
Then Yaz kissed her. On the mouth.
The Doctor froze. She had no idea what to do. Her body was giving off rapid fire signals to do so many things at once that they canceled out into nothing.
When Yaz finally pulled back, all of those signals told the Doctor to put her lips back on Yaz's.
So she did.
She just barely bit back a whimper when Yaz's tongue slipped into her mouth. She climbed onto the sofa Yaz was lying on, leaning her full weight onto Yaz as she buried one of her hands in her hair. She groaned as she felt one of Yaz's legs snake in between hers, up against her just right.
Then she stopped. Yaz was hurt. Yaz was tired. She needed rest and all the Doctor could think of was-
She looked down at Yaz. Her eyes were wide and her lips were glossy. Her breath came out in uneven puffs. She looked amazing.
The Doctor quickly climbed off of her.
"I can't, I'm sorry, I just-" and she scrambled out of the room.
The Doctor didn't sleep. She didn't even try. Instead, she fixed the Tardis's washing machines to be ten times more efficient, translated Romeo and Juliet into Gallifreyan, and made a perfect soufflé. Twice.
And in all that time, she could still feel the phantom press of Yaz's lips on hers.
Finally, she began to get ready just like she would any other normal day. Then she set off to make the best breakfast she possibly could.
After what felt like a small millennia, she had created quite a spread. Toast, eggs, pancakes and waffles, hash browns, chicken sausage from the eighteenth century and a pot of coffee from the twenty first.
Yaz stepped softly into the kitchen soon after. She had showered and dressed, but she hadn't looked like she slept much either.
"Hello Yaz! Happy to see you! Have Graham and Ryan come back yet? There's this amazing place I want to show them. What do you think about fish that swim in the air?" The Doctor rambled.
Yaz was much more subdued, picking up a mug of coffee and drinking almost half. "Still haven't heard from them. It's one in the morning in Sheffield right now." Yaz almost snapped.
The Doctor paused nervously.
"Right, well then how about we go then, just the two of us. Or we can go looking for Ryan and Graham, I'm sure they're around somewhere-"
"Doctor what just happened?" Yaz interrupted.
"What-"
Yaz interrupted again. "You kissed me last night."
The Doctor's eyes grew wide.
"You kissed me first. I just- It was a mistake. I'm sorry."
Yaz's face looked crushed. "That was just a mistake to you?"
The Doctors mouth went dry.
"I- Well- I didn't mean-"
"I can't do this anymore Doctor! The way you look at me, the things we do, the places we see, I can't keep doing all that if this is just some mistake." Yaz was exasperated.
The Doctor marched up to Yaz, grabbing her hands.
"You are not a mistake. I wouldn't trade you for the world, Yaz."
"Then why-?"
"Yazmin. You're young. You have a whole life ahead of you, and it's a life I can't share. I'm hundreds of years old." The Doctor paused. She didn't want to be saying all this. She wanted to be convincing Yaz to just go with it, to let it happen, but she couldn't. She couldn't in good conscience lead Yaz down that path. "I'm damaged. I've seen so much of the worst of the universe. You deserve someone who can make you happy."
"Doctor, you are the one person in my life that makes me the happiest." Yaz confessed. "These past months have been the most amazing times of my whole life. You will always make me happy."
Yaz leaned in to kiss the Doctor. She wasn't shocked, or frozen, or even scared. She leaned into it as far as she could. It was softer than the first time, calmer somehow.
"I'm sorry for being an idiot." The Doctor murmured against Yaz's lips.
The Doctor felt a flare of pain in her right arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" The Doctor yelped.
Yaz smiled contently. "That was for being an idiot," She paused and gave the doctor another quick kiss. "And that was for apologizing for it."
The Doctor gave a lazy smile. "I guess I should be an idiot more often."
Yaz laughed. "Not exactly the message I was going for, but I'll let it slide.
The Doctor kissed Yaz again, pushing her slightly backwards. She pulled back when she felt Yaz grimace.
She cocked an eyebrow and Yaz gestured to her hand. All five fingers were currently plunged into a plate of raspberries.
The Doctor smiled something sinister, picked up her hand, and wrapped her lips around Yaz's index finger. She watched as her face turned as red as the raspberries and she bit her lip to keep from moaning.
"Doctor?" Yaz breathed.
The Doctor hummed around Yaz's fingers.
"Do you have a bedroom?"