"Claire" A soft voice penetrated my dreaming "Claire, wake up" The voice was worried, and familiar.

I slowly opened my eyes.

"Josh" I was looking up at his beautiful face. There were wets patches on his shirt, Josh was the one who pulled me back. I remembered the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, but then I remembered why. "Oh my god" I sobbed.

Myrnin was dead, I had killed him. I put my hands over my face and through the darkness of my lids I could see the image of his skin sinking into him. I wanted to scream, to run and hide, to be able to turn back time and stop this from happening. The only person who knew how smart I really was, the only person who I could relate to was now dead. Myrnin was dead.

I felt fingers wrap around my hands and pull them off my face, Josh was looking at me with a very worried expression. He didn't let go of my hands. It was my entire fault.

"It wasn't your fault" He said looking me in the eyes, how did he know I was thinking that?

"It was" I sobbed "I miss him already" Then Josh did the unexpected. He pulled me into his arms. And I didn't resist, I was so sad, everything that had happened since I had moved here was finally taking its toll. Nearly being killed by sick twisted bullies by pushing me down the stairs, nearly being strangled to death by Oliver, being bitten over and over again, and Shane saying those things to me. Making me feel like nothing. I never really got over the things he had said, he called me a fang banger, he said that if I wasn't dating Michael I was dating Myrnin. That had hurt. A lot.

Josh was warm and strong, and he didn't once comment or ask me to stop or say it's alright; he just sat there and held me as I cried. Finally, when no more tears would come I pulled back. I could Imagine those strong arms pinning me down and his lips pressing against mine .

"I'm sorry" I said looking at his shirt, he shrugged

"Its okay" I could feel him looking at me but I kept my head down. I couldn't believe I had thought that, how could I have thought that when I had Shane. Shane... Michael I had to get home. They'd be worried sick. My phone vibrated

"Hello?" I said rubbing my eyes

"Claire Oh my god you're okay" Eve gasped "Michael just got back and told us everything my god CB that must have been horrible. Are you okay?"

"Oh um yeah I'm just..." Wait I had no idea of where I was, I looked around and saw I was in Myrnin's lab. "I'm just In the lab"

"Oh honey, are you by yourself?" She asked

" No someone's here and I'm fine" I said, I still hadn't told her about Josh

"Oh okay well come home quickly okay luv ya"

"Yeah" and she hung up. I looked up at Josh "Could, Could you take me home?" I asked

"Yeah" he started standing up

"But not through the portals please" I needed some time before I went home.

"That's fine, I drive you there" He said reaching into his pocket and grabbing his car keys

"Oh um thank you" I said smiling.

We walked up the stairs and out into the cold, it was dark, never a good thing. Josh opened the car door and I got in with a mumbled thanks.

It was a slow drive home.

"Josh?" I asked after a few moments of silence

"Yeah" He said never taking his eyes off the road

"Do you hate me for what I did?" I couldn't help but ask

"What..no I...I respect you, nobody could have had the strength to do what you did, hell I only knew him for a few days but I still wouldn't of been able to do it. It'll be quiet without him though" He said

"Yeah" I smiled as I remember the first time Myrnin had shown me his bunny slippers.

"Did you like his slippers?" I asked

"Hell yeah I want a pair, but where the hell did he get them?" He laughed and I couldn't help but laugh back. His laugh was soft and kind. The car came to a stop. "Here" He said as he opened my door.

"Thank you" I said and walked to the front door I turned "Get home safely" I said as he got back in the car.

"See you later" and then he was gone.

I breathed and slowly opened the front door. Eve was there in a second.

"Claire, are you okay, who was that" She exploded as she pulled me into the living room.

"I'm fine Eve" I said, I knew this would have happened, and I know that she's just doing it because she's worried, but I just wanted to go up stairs and sleep, I was so tired.

"Who was that?" She asked "The boy who dropped you off, he was hot" She said

"That's Josh, he's just somebody I know" Suddenly arms wrapped around my waist, I looked up to see Shane looking down on me with a worried expression.

"You okay" he asked

"I'm fine" I was getting tired of saying it. "I just wanna go to bed"

He looked hurt but then his expression changed back to worry "Okay" He let me go and I walked up the stairs, walked straight to my room closed the door and flopped on my bed. Thankful when sleep finally came.

I dreamed sinking skin, strong arms and dark caves, a sea of tears that soon became blood.