Deal Me Out

by Agent Gibbs

Gibbs invites Jenny, Vance, DiNozzo, Fornell, Abby, Ziva, Mike Franks, Ducky, and Eli David over for a Poker Game. My NCIS Parody of the MASH episode "Deal Me Out." Minor Tony/Ziva, Jenny/Gibbs near the end. Rated "T" To Be Safe

4. The Psychological Basis For Gambling

The players were Gibbs, Jenny, Tony, Abby, Ziva, Franks, Ducky, and Eli.

Fornell and Vance were gone for the night, having lost all their money in the game. Now the game was slowing down again, with nobody else walking out broke until about midnight.

"You deal, Jen," Gibbs said.

"Okay. The game is Seven-card draw, Aces high and low. No card wild."

As Jenny was dealing the cards, Tony asked, "Ducky, what's the psychological basis for gambling?"

"Sex."

"Why?"

"I don't know. They told me to say it. Sex why gamble. Sex is why we drink. Sex is why we give birth."

"Thanks, Ducky."

"I'm taking a $50 chip. That was a house call."

"Of course." Tony looked at his cards and groaned.

"Problem, Poker Face?" Ziva asked.

"I'm committing suicide," Tony answered, thinking, 'Wow. She gets THAT one right.'

"Go out in turn, DiNozzo," Gibbs said with out looking up from his cards. "Check."

Everyone else around the table checked as well. Until Tony.

"Fold." Tony threw his cards down and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

The remaining players (Gibbs, Jenny, Abby, Ziva, Franks, Ducky & Eli) were talking smack to each other, and it was about to get ugly between Franks and Eli.

"Oh yeah, Eli? You're so damn ugly that you make Chuck Norris flinch! That's ugly!"

"Mister Franks, are you aware that I can kill you using a playing card as it is now?"

"I'll shoot you with my THUMB on the trigger, Eli."

Ziva had heard enough. She stood up and head-slapped both men. "We are all here to play poker, not to start an international incident across three countries! Now, both of you shake hands and make happy."

"What the hell is she talkin' about, Probie?" Franks asked Gibbs.

"She means shake hands and make NICE, so that we can get on with our game," Jenny said. "And I agree. Both of you stick your hands out and shake."

"Rule 18," Gibbs said as Franks and Eli shook hands. "Back to the game, gentlemen."

Franks and Eli sat back down (Luckily, Gibbs and Jenny were sitting between them) and the game continued. Franks and Ducky folded out of the hand, and they joined Tony as the three sitting out the round.

The bets from Gibbs, Jenny, Ziva, Abby, & Eli added up until Abby was all in and the others were close.

When the hands were revealed, Jenny won it. Abby was out of the game, and all she said when she left was that Franks and Eli acted like they were married.