Chapter 4

The basketball swirled through the air, hitting the backboard and missing the hoop by at least a foot.

"Dammit!" Kirby cursed out loud, catching the ball as it bounced back to him. He was by himself in the gym courtyard, trying to think some things out – but he kept getting frustrated by his horrible shots. It wasn't helping with the whole "self-reflection" thing, which tossing around a ball usually did for him.

What was the point of getting out of gym class if he was just going to wallow here and never properly sort out his feelings? And now he was really going to get it after school today. What a waste.

"Uh, sir – Mr. Burton?" Kirby had asked at the beginning of the period.

"What is it, Olsen – why aren't you in your gym strip?! Don't tell me you forgot it! I'm not going to let you run back to the boys dorm and make all of us wait, you hear me?"

"No, that's not what I was going to ask...Uh, I was wondering if I could be excused for the class – I'm not asking to skip," Kirby quickly added when Mr. Burton opened his mouth to yell his refusal. "I need some time, to...figure out some stuff. I'll only be over on the basketball court outside, shooting some hoops."

Mr. Burton peered at Kirby with a slightly suspicious expression, staring while the cogs in his brain rustily processed his words.

After a long ten seconds, he finally said: "Alright, Olsen, whatever – but you better believe I'll be working you twice as hard during practice today!"

"Thanks a lot, coach," Kirby had said, biting back a sarcastic tone.

And so, he had ended up here. Here, getting pissed off at a goddamn ball, thinking about that stupid Trent guy and what had happened yesterday. Kirby hadn't had time to really think in depth about it until now – self reflection wasn't really a typical jock pastime, often avoided in favor of playing sports or tormenting nerds.

Kirby slowly dribbled the basketball across the court and jumped for another shot – which missed, again.

Why had the bully changed his demeanor so suddenly yesterday? Kirby blushed, extremely embarrassed at the memory. Kissing Trent had felt kinda nice, he couldn't lie about that to himself – but how would he know if that was because it was his very first romantic encounter with anyone, or because he liked other guys? The last thought added to the panic that had been throbbing dully in the back of his mind for the past few days.

Kirby squeezed his eyes shut and brought his forehead to the ball in his hands. "I-am-not-gay," he said under his breath, hitting his head lightly with each word. "I-am-not-gay." He inhaled heavily and let the breath back out, dropping the basketball to the ground and joining it, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the court. He could hear excited shouts and the thuds of dodgeballs coming from the gymnasium nearby, and it made him feel alone.

The actual fighting part between the two teenagers yesterday was pretty much behind Kirby – since it happened so often at Bullworth, nobody really kept grudges anymore unless it was against an opposing clique. Boys could get really caught up in the heat of the moment, there was no doubt about that.

Kirby sighed. No, he wasn't going to bitch and moan about a little fight – but he was going to stay confused about this whole kiss thing. Any guy, thought Kirby, would be the exact same. Wait, would they? The other jocks, in his shoes, would probably have taught Trent a lesson he'd never forget as soon as he had brought them into an embrace and said the word "baby". Kirby was a jock, too...but he had responded back. He had responded back –

His thoughts were interrupted by two preps loudly chatting as they passed by.

"You know, Parker – I can't stand the fact that we have to wear the school's required gym strip, it's such disgustingly cheap quality! Ugh, I wish I could wear my brand new Aquaberry track shorts and matching shirt – you know, the ones I've been eying – with the blue stripes that run along the side and..."

Kirby snorted and stopped listening. The two preps were Gord and Parker, probably skipping gym class in favor of a walk together. Gord was talking his mouth off about fashion – as usual – and Parker was nodding his head and humming every so often in agreement. Kirby had assumed that they were both talking, but it was only Gord, chatting enough for both of them.

Hold on – Kirby glanced back at the two strolling preps.

Maybe asking Gord for advice might help get all of this confusion behind him. He'd have to be careful, though; if someone like Christy or even (god forbid) one of the jocks saw Kirby alone with Gord, there would be plenty of unpleasant rumors flying around.

Kirby stood up, waiting for an opportunity to interrupt the still chatting prep and his friend ahead.

"And Parker – I just have to get this off of my chest – That new sweater I was wearing last week was bought...on sale!" Gord was saying, horrified expression on his face. Kirby rolled his eyes, and quickly looked around the courtyard to make sure nobody was nearby before calling out.

"Hey, uh...Gord! Wait up!"

Gord stopped moving and looked behind him, spotting Kirby and raising an eyebrow. "Well, hello there! How odd of a jock to shout at me in a friendly tone; I must be dreaming, Parker." Parker looked at Kirby curiously as the jock jogged to catch up to them.

"Um," Kirby began. Gord stared expectantly. "Could I...talk to you for a second?...Alone?" Gord looked over at Parker, who shrugged silently and resumed walking, leaving Gord and Kirby by themselves.

"So," said Gord, "What did you want to talk to me all alone abou-"

"Shh!" Kirby hissed. "Not here." He grabbed Gord by the arm ("Ugh! Unhand me, pauper!"), and brought him past the arch and in the small path to the fountain steps.

"Okay, now may I ask what this is about?"

Kirby turned his back to Gord and stretched his arms sheepishly above his head, before flopping them back down. Might as well be up front about it.

"How did you know..." Kirby paused, turning back to him. "...That you liked guys?"

Gord narrowed his eyes. "I like girls too, you know."

Kirby stepped closer, eyes desperate and wide. "I know, but – how did you figure out that you liked dudes as well? I mean," he said, turning away again, "Not that I'm actually like that, I'm just wondering."

Gord stared, amused. "Right. And that's why you risked your reputation to talk to me in private like this, then? Sheer curiosity?" He shook his head. "What's the real reason, jock?"

"Uh," was all Kirby replied. Gord crossed his arms and waited, tapping his Aquaberry running shoe impatiently. "Okay, this stays between us," Kirby said. Gord rolled his eyes and nodded. "No!" said Kirby suddenly, grabbing Gord's shoulders with a panic-stricken face. "You have no idea...no idea what would happen to me if this got out around here. This stays – between – us. Got it?"

"Got it, I promise," Gord replied, a little off-kilter from the hard shakes Kirby had given him.

Kirby dropped his hands from Gord's shoulders and frowned. "Alright, Well...I fought some guy and then after we cooled off he kissed me but I didn't run away from him until like half a minute in so I dunno if it felt so good because it was my first time doing something like that or because he was a dude," he had managed to say all of it in one quick breath.

Gord simply stared at him, mouth hanging slightly open.

"Jocks...can analyze?"

"Shut up and help me out here!"

Gord huffed and put a hand on his hip. "Well, I knew I liked guys as well as I like girls when I kissed some and it made me feel just as good, just as...naughty," he giggled. Kirby stared, giving him an incredulous look. Gord stopped giggling and looked back at him, suddenly very serious. "I'd say that you should try kissing a girl or two, see if that makes you feel even better than that other boy did," he advised. "However...I am getting a rather queer vibe from you–"

"Shut it, fairy! I'm...I'm not gay. I can't be gay. Burton will make sure I'm off the team if I am, the guys will beat me up then ignore me for the rest of my life, and my Dad...will be so disappointed..." Kirby trailed off, eyes glued to the ground. A knot twisted in his stomach.

Gord shifted slightly from foot to foot, waiting for Kirby's moment of teenage angst to finish. "Um...May I go now?"

Kirby shot him a glare but nodded, waving Gord away until he was all by himself again.

Staaay tuned!~

EDIT: Oh my GOD, I had to update this chapter like 5 times because I kept finding small formatting/typo issues. Duuur


ANOTHER EDIT: I sent this fanfic to my best friend: "I READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY *round of applause baby!!* first do i have to become a member to comment? and do i have to write a story to be a member? second that was amazing not only b/c ur my best friend but b/c after i was done reading i forgot that it was a fanfiction written by a person. That is how into the story i was, the chapter one and two endings i really liked the whole i bump into you you bump into me!! *squeal* im hyped for MORE. But honestly i like it, im so proud of my little writer *sob sob*...(wtf am i on??) Annnnnnnywho i like ur user info part very funny, and if ur "mean" im "bitch"(when u explained the trio buddies) the three musketeers!!! YAY! OK, im going to go b4 i blow this thing up i shall c u tomorrow so we can talk!!!!!!!!!! god im messed how are u friends with me pardner?"

She's great. She's never even played the game. Hi Tamala~ *waves*