Well, I suck. Almost a month before I updated this story. Damn it, Joey, you said you would be more attentive to about this...if only I didn't waste so much time on the Internet, with all its shiny glories.

Anyway, once again to my two confirmed "fans" and any others, sorry to take so long, and here's Chapter Three. As you can tell by the ending, things will be getting more interesting soon. ;-)

Chapter Three
Dib's Disastrous Debate of Doom

"Okay," I said in a low voice, putting my hands down on the table and leaning forward in what I hoped was a tense, dramatic way, and I was pleased to see the others unconsciously move closer in, straining to hear me. "Now onto the first order of business. You may be shocked to discover that there is a hidden alien agent working against us within this very school."

"Oh, you mean that really old kid?" Peggy interrupted, flicking a bit of hair off of her shoulder offhandedly.

"Yes, the re--wait, no, not Old Kid!" I said, straightening up and glaring.

"Do you mean that one kid, the Letter M? That sounds like something an alien would have as a name."

"A really dumb alien," Rodger said moodily, arms crossed over his chest.

"No, I don't mean the Letter M either!"

"Is it me?"

"No, Keef, it's not you."

"Or that weird kid, the one that we met in the lunch line, what was his name--Poonchy? Is Poonchy the alien?"

"Er, no…that theory didn't pan out," I mumbled, turning my head as I felt my face burn. "I'm talking about Zim!"

"Zim? Who's Zim?"

"He's really nice," Keef gushed.

"I think he's that green kid we saw muttering to himself on the playground," Rodger muttered behind his hand.

"Yes! Exactly! The kid with the green skin is the alien!"

"Oh," said Peggy, a look of dawning comprehension on her face. Finally they were getting it.

"I heard he just had a skin condition."

Or not.

"Skin cond--he has no ears! Have you ever heard of a skin condition that makes you have no ears?!"

"Leprosy could do that," Rodger pointed out.

"Yeah, but doesn't that make you have really pale skin?" Peggy wondered, tapping his finger against her face thoughtfully.

"He has really pale skin," Rodger muttered, pointing at me.

"Hey, yeah, you are pretty pale," Peggy said, looking at me and turning her head to one side. "You didn't mention that you have leprosy, Dib."

"I do not have leprosy!!" I screamed, grabbing my head and nearly pulling out large chunks of my hair. Growling, I reached into my backpack and pulled out my photo album. "Here, look! I have documentation, dozens of pictures of Zim and his operations that I've collected over months of research, proving beyond doubt that he is not what he claims to be!"

I threw it, angrily, onto the table; it slid across the polished surface. Peggy grabbed it and began to flip through it at random, Rodger and Keef looking over her shoulder to see.

"These don't look very…alienish to me," Peggy commented, turning the book to one side.

"What?! Whuddya mean, look!" I stormed around the table to stand behind her, and jabbed a finger at the photo. "Look! There's Zim, in his alien form!"

"It's just him trying to block you from taking his picture," Rodger said dismissively.

"Yeah, well, that's because I caught him when he was taking off one of his contacts--look, see, you can see a bit of his real eye behind his hand, there! It's all big and red like some sort of--weird alien bug thing!"

Peggy looked somewhat skeptical, eyebrows raised but with a pensive look as if she were at least considering the merits of my argument. Rodger made no attempt to hide his disbelief; his eyes gave me the same disparaging glare I got from most people whenever I delved into paranormal phenomena. Jack, meanwhile, seemed to be ignoring us entirely, and was now just crouching forward in his seat, muttering to himself about the CIA trying to take control of his toenails.

"Well, okay, I'll admit, that's not my best picture--but look over here!" I flipped through to another page. "See that!"

"What's that?"

"It's GIR!" Keef said, his simpering smile widening.

"A…dog?"

"A green dog! With a zipper down its chest, standing on its hind legs, dancing to 'Funkytown!'"

"Wow!" Peggy said, her eyes going wide.

"Yeah, see?"

"That's a pretty neat trick!"

"Neat--ARGH! That's Zim's robot! It just disguises itself as a dog, look--lemme find a picture of it without its disguise--here!"

"That's a house," Rodger said, his tone harder than ever.

"A glowing green house! And look, I angled the camera into the window, you can kind of see the robot sitting on the couch there with a bowl of chips--"

"Actually, I think those are nachos," Keef said.

"Who cares what they are?!"

"Can dogs eat nachos?" Peggy wondered, chewing the edge of her pen. "Seems like something that would make them sick."

"He's a robot!"

"Oh, yeah. Can robots eat nachos?"

"Can they--I don't know! Look!" I grabbed the photo album roughly from Peggy's hands and began to flip through it. "I put a bookmark in here somewhere--there!" I thrust the photo into Peggy's hand and pointed dramatically. "What do you see there?"

"Um…I think that's a naked baby picture of you."

"Exactly! A naked--wha--agh!" I quickly snatched back the album, feeling my face go red again. I quickly grabbed the offending portrait and began to tear it up in my hands. "That's, uh--either my dad made a mistake, or my sister--anyway, look, the point is, I know Zim is an alien, but I've never really been able to get any proof. That's why I need you guys's help. If we all pull together, I think we can come up with a plan to get hard evidence on Zim, and then use it to expose him for the alien menace that he truly is!"

I pounded the table dramatically, hoping to emphasize my point. There was a slight pause as the three of them (well, two of them--Jack was still absorbed in his own ranting) looked up at me in silence. Then Rodger, voice full of contempt, asked, "And how exactly?"

"Well, Uh…" I dropped my pose and rubbed my hands together awkwardly. "I…haven't totally figured that part out yet, to be honest. But I--"

"What's that?" Peggy interrupted suddenly, turning her head with a frown.

I froze, and strained my ears; a moment later I heard it too, a sudden THUD! that seemed to be coming form outside. A moment later is was followed by another THUD!, and another, and was followed momentarily by people yelling and what sounded like a car alarm going off.

Jack suddenly seemed to break out of his insane trance and looked up, eyes wide in horror. "It's the FBI! They're after my toenails!"

He quickly ducked under the table. Peggy, Rodger and Keef simply looked around in bewilderment. "What's going on?" Peggy asked, a worried look on her face.

I ran over to the window, pulling aside the blinds to look out. "What the--oh, come on!"

Outside, a giant robot was rampaging through the town.