mario mario: The sixth son of Satan and the devil's spaghetti
chapter 4: the investigation into the disappearance of luigi luigi, the wlauigi trail goes cold as the real big W has successfully escaped the authorities, but to what end?
by the time sherlock holmes bust into mario's room, he had disappeared with the vegetables mayo. it was too late. sherlock holmes conceded that the food substance probably had nothing to do with luigi's disappearance and he was able to replicate the sticky white substance from discarded tissues regardless
the one clue that sherlock holmes was able to discover, the one definite piece of proof, was an invitation from an anonymous source to luigi, an inviation to the game, the big game. the number of finger prints on it indicated that it was quickly discarded, as if with haste, and the dust residue had indicated that it coudl not be more than a day old, which indicated that luigi had left shortly after discarding the letter... it appears that if luigi was kidnapped, he was kidnapped not from his home like an unwilling child in a stroller, picked up by a roaming sexual predator in their quest for sources of candy, but after being lured... into a trap
meanwhile mario was consuming copious amounts of the vegetables mayo as he fled from the scene of the crime, where he had abducted the vegetables mayo, which he had coveted but been unable to procure for consumption. luigi may have departed from this kingdom, as waluigi had warned him, but there was one thing he knew for a fact: his good friend chewbacca, who had been his ally in the star war, would know what to do. the sage wisdom of the furry friend had never failed him in the past, nor would it fail him now. he was a creature of mystery, speaking only in riddles masked in parables masked in enigmas masked in interpretive dance, the only shared language between him and the people of the mushroom kingdom. despite being a wookie, he was not on cashik, which was the greatest mystery of all.
meanwhile, in his lab, sherlock holmes made a great discovery. "watson," he said! "i have made a great discovery. baseedo n the tissue sample found in the waste bin, which was undoubtedly from luigi wiping his mouth after his afternoon meal, i have discovered that luigi sustains himself entirely on male semen! he is a semen drinker, and a homosexual! this was no simple trap - he was on his way to a gay bar, when a six foot five albino mexican wrestler tackled him to the ground and violently forced him into his care using threats of future sexual intercourse to deter him from resisting!"
and john watson nodded and simply said, "ayyyyup, that sounds about right to me"
in truth, he had no idea what the motherfucker was talking about