"Back so soon?"
"I was forced."
"By?"
"My mother."
"What did she do?"
"She-"
"Hello, I'm Marian Anderson, Blaine's mother. You're Amanda right?"
"Amanda Reeves, yes. What seems to be the problem?"
"Blaine seems to have these, um, hallucinations."
"They're not halluci-"
"Hush, Blaine."
"Hallucinations? What about?"
"Kurt."
"I see."
"He goes on about how he bought Kurt an album and a scarf for Christmas and how he was sitting right beside him even though I didn't hear any other voices besides Blaine."
"So Blaine was talking to himself?"
"Well, yes-"
"He was sitting right next to me. You just couldn't see him because he left before you came in the room."
"Blaine, he was in a car crash. He died. He was not in your room. He was just a figment of your imagination."
"But I-"
"Kurt is gone! How many times do I have to say it so that you can face the truth?"
"CAN YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE?"
Marian Anderson fell silent.
"Blaine, calm down."
"Kurt isn't dead."
"Okay Blaine. I understand."
"No you don't. Nobody does. He is not dead."
And with that, he ran out the door and into the street, barely scraping by a passing car.
He wished it hit him.
Then he wouldn't have to feel anything anymore.
"Kurt? Kurt!"
"Blaine, I'm here."
"Why did you leave me?"
"I'm sorry."
"My mother thinks there's something wrong with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect."
"You're the only one that thinks that."
"Everyone else is too blind to see."
Blaine closed his eyes and Kurt pressed his lips to his eyelashes.
"Kurt, everyone keeps saying that I'm imagining you."
"Are they?"
"But you are real, right?"
"I'll be as real as you want me to be."
Blaine laced his fingers with Kurt's and pressed it to his chest.
"So where's your mom right now?"
"Probably discussing my issues with the counselor."
"She just cares about you."
"Nobody cares about me."
"I do, and what I heard from you about Amanda, she does as well."
"I should go back shouldn't I?"
"Back to the counselor?"
"I can't go back there. Not after when I just stormed out."
"Fair enough. Home then?"
"Home."
That was officially the most disastrous attempt he had made at trying to woo someone, ever.
"I can't believe I made it all up in my head," Blaine scoffed as he glared at the many Valentine decorations in the Lima Bean Café.
"Okay, can I ask you something, because we've always been completely honest with each other? You and I, we hang out, we sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order, was I supposed to think that was nothing?"
Is he going where I think he's going?
"What do you mean?"
"I thought the guy you wanted to ask out on Valentine's Day was me."
Well, this is new information.
Oh shit.
Does that mean he likes me?
But I can't be with him.
Not yet, not when he's still trying to get over what happened with Karofsky.
I can't screw it up with him, not like I did with Jeremiah, because Kurt doesn't deserve a screw up.
He deserves much more than that.
But how did I not notice?
"Wow, I really am clueless."
Kurt didn't reply.
"Look, Kurt. I don't know what I'm doing. I pretend like I do and I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is, I've never really been anyone's boyfriend."
"Me neither."
How?
"Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you. But as you and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I'm not very good at romance. I don't want to screw this up."
"So it's just like When Harry Met Sally, except I get to play Meg Ryan."
Can you be any more perfect?
"Deal."
Wait, When Harry Met Sally, how did that movie end?
Oh.
"Don't they get together in the end?"
That smile.
"Can I get a non-fat mocha and a medium drip for my friend Billy Crystal?"
He knows my coffee order.
Blaine felt butterflies.
"Blaine, oh god, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere! It was extremely rude of you to just storm out of Annie's office just like that-"
"It's Amanda. Not Annie."
"Amanda, right, but Blaine, if you ever want to get better then you have to listen to what she has to say and not just leave the room."
"You're saying that like there's something wrong with me."
"There is something wrong with you. You say you're talking to your dead, very dead, boyfriend but I never see anyone beside you. You have completely cut yourself off from all your friends and everyone else around you. You're not eating well and-"
"But my grades are fine."
"Only because all you do is hole up in your room and study and ignore all the phone calls. Your teacher talked to me. You never speak in class and neglect your friends' efforts in trying to talk to you."
Blaine's eyes turned to the ground.
"I miss you Blaine. Not this you, the old you; the one who sang Katy Perry songs in the shower, the one who brought classmates home to play ungodly video games and eat popcorn, the one who had this incredible spark. And I'm sure if Kurt was still alive, he would miss you too."
It wasn't that Blaine was suicidal, for lack of a better term. It was just that he felt like there was no point in living anymore.
Kurt had been such a large part of his life. It was his smile Blaine saw in his mind when he woke up in the morning with the warm rays of the sun streaming in through the crack in his curtains that Kurt had picked out for him. It was his voice that Blaine replayed in his head when he couldn't sleep, it was Kurt's whispered "I love you" that helped give Blaine sweet dreams at night.
But Kurt's gone now and all Blaine's left with is the vanishing feel of Kurt's lips against his and his voice replaying in his mind and his hands falling against nothing.
And Blaine misses Kurt. He misses Kurt every day.
He doesn't think he'll ever stop missing Kurt.