Kitty: Heyo! I'm sorry I'm behind in uploading! I kept running into internet difficulties…like spending the night at my house where I don't have internet. Grrr. Actually, I do have internet…but it loses signal every five minutes. So I have to wait around until the signal comes back…which is really weak. Gr.
Thanks to SageoWind, rouge-vixxen, and Cool Hanyou for your continuing reviews. Iron Reaver, once again your review made me feel even more like a writer, and I'll do my best to keep it up.
To Mystical- thanks for reviewing and putting me and my story on all your lists! I feel special! I'll shall try and keep it up with the chapters being uploaded fairly quickly…
To constructive criticism- your review was enlightening and I will use less Japanese if I am unsure of the correct usage. I will definitely stop using 'maa'. I hate using 'well' because it's a crutch at the beginning of a sentence…so I kinda cheated and used Japanese instead. . I'll be stopping that. Please point out anything I do wrong in the future, I really do love Japanese!
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, woe is me.
Chocolate Covered
Chapter Four
Chocolate Covered Onigiri
Ring Ring.
Murmuring of Kaasan's voice.
Footsteps moving towards his door.
Please, don't knock. I don't want to talk, Kaasan. Koushirou begged silently. If I start speaking…I'll begin to weep again. Koushirou laid his arm over his eyes and his lips begin to tighten.
His bed was beginning to get uncomfortably warm, as he had been laying here ever since he had run home earlier that day. Earlier…when Tai, his Tai, unwittingly rejected him.
Just because I'm a boy.
He barely suppressed a fresh sob.
Knock…knock.
"Koushirou, dear…a friend is on the phone for you. He said you didn't answer your cell." His mother and father had left the hotel when he didn't come to meet him, and decided to stay awhile, at least until he felt better.
"Who is it?" Is it Tai? Does he remember now? Is he going to… apologize? Or want me now?
"It's a young man named Ishiida, Yamato."
Iie… Koushirou felt his pent-up breath whoosh past his lips. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want…my dream to come back.
But his body was moving, pushing itself off his bed and almost running towards the door. No matter what he was telling himself, a part of him wanted to talk to somebody, anybody. It wanted to tell someone so he could feel better. He wanted a friend who could understand. He opened the door.
"Domo, kaasan." Koushirou reached for the phone. "Moshi moshi." He smiled at his mother and then closed the door, walking over to his bed.
"Are you okay, man?" A thousand answers raced through Koushirou's mind, all having to do with telling Yamato-kun the truth.
"Yes. I'm fine." Koushirou lied. He frowned and sat down on his bed. "I'm sorry, I lied. I'm not fine. I'm just a little upset. Is there anything you needed? I don't really wish to speak of it."
"Uh, yeah, sure, man. I was actually wondering if I could move into the apartment tomorrow. My 'rents got wind of the idea and both of 'em starting harping in on me. Can you believe that? After, like, over a decade of ignoring each other, they finally ganged up together on me, their son, their firstborn, my god."
Koushirou laughed and shifted so his back was to the wall and leaned his head back so it thumped lightly against the drywall.
"I don't see how it could be a bad idea. I'm already moved in, as you already know, and I'll be here tomorrow. My parents could help us as well with the moving. Should we call Jyou-sempai and make a day of it?" Koushirou suggested.
"Hey, great idea! Let's do it. You wanna call Jyou-sempai?"
"Would you mind doing it yourself? I…I'm not really feeling up to it right now. I think a good night's rest will help more than anything."
"No prob, man. See ya tomorrow."
"Hai. By the way, I would like to apologize for any worrying I caused you."
"Like I said, no prob, man. My kaasan always drinks hot tea before taking really hot shower when she's upset. You should try that. I've done it once and it felt great."
"It does sound very relaxing. I was already planning to drink some tea, but the shower sounds like a fantastic idea as well. Ja ne, Yamato-kun."
"Ja ne, Kou-kun!"
Kou-kun…I guess there are other ways to give me a nickname. Koushirou thought amusedly as he pushed the 'end' button.
"Koushirou, it's almost time for dinner."
"Domo, kaasan. I'll be right out."
&&&&&&&&&&
Tai sighed disgustedly and threw his phone to the other end of his bed.
What happened? He just ran off and he won't answer his phone! I went out of my way to get it from Mimi-chan, and dealt with all her annoying questions, and he still won't answer his phone after the fiftieth time!
"It's all your fault, you know."
"Nani?!"
"That he's not answering his phone. It's your fault, Taichi Yagami. I hope you like being the reason Izzy started hating you."
"Izzy doesn't hate-and Koushirou-san isn't Izzy!"
"Stop lying to yourself. You saw them, didn't you?"
"Saw what?" Tai said softly looking away.
"The tears. You saw them."
"Koushirou-san wasn't crying."
"Oh, so it rained on his face?" Hikari spat.
"SHUT UP!" Tai bellowed, grabbing his pillow. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"
A pillow flew towards Hikari and she quickly dodged.
"I'M JUST TELLING YOU THE TRUTH! YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS, TAI! After ten years, and he finally comes back and you make him cry!"
"HE IS NOT IZZY! SHUT UP!" Tai threw his book bag towards her general direction, purposely missing. His soccer ball followed. He pointedly ignored the hot, wet feeling on his face and the way his eyes felt itchy.
Hikari, however, noticed what he refused to and left.
I don't believe him! What's wrong with him? Is it just because Izzy's a boy?
"Stupid effigy Kari!" His desk chair hit the ground and his toes began to smart. "Stupid effing little sister," a book slammed onto the ground, "and their stupid noses," he punched the desk angrily, "in other people's business! It's none of her business!" He kicked the overturned chair for good measure with his other foot.
"Tai, what are you doin- TAI! Clean up this mess!" His mother shrieked as she entered his room.
"Get out, mom."
"Don't you talk to me like that, young man. You better clean this up before dinner or you won't get any. Did you throw your book bag at the wall!? Tai, you left a dent in the wall!"
"So?"
"You're going to pay for that with your own allowance."
"Whatever. Can you get out now?"
She left with a huff. Tai fell to the ground and leaned back against the desk behind him.
What am I going to do? Koushirou can't be Izzy. I mean…I …I can't be in love with another guy. I'm not gay. Koushirou doesn't even seem gay and Mimi really likes him and Sora… Tai let his face fall into his hands. Everything… I mean… everyone… it'll hurt a lot of people. Sora-chan will get so confused and Mimi-chan would hate me. And my parents…what would they say if I told them I was in love with a boy? Would they hate me, too? The gay kids at school always talk about the bullying they get and they way their parents changed around them in some way. I don't want my parents to hate me…or my friends. How much does Izzy mean to me? If Izzy is a guy… would I risk all that? I don't know if I could. Does that mean I never loved him at all?
Tai's fingers dug into his skin and hair and he gritted his teeth. Tears slipped down his cheeks to fall to the wooden floor. The shadows grew long on the floor and dinner came and went. Movement outside his room ceased and still he sat there, his jaw tight and the floor dark in between his knees.
&&&&&&&&
Koushirou stared blankly at the ceiling. I wish we could have stayed four and five forever. Then, he would love me, too. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I have to be okay. I have to be okay and get over it. It's not the end of the world. I'm only fourteen.
&&&&&&&&
"ITAI!"
"Daijoubou desu ka!?" Jyou-sempai anxiously called to Mimi-san around the mattress.
"Daijoubou desu. I just hit my head on the door jamb."
"I can't believe that a mattress could be so hard to carry." Jyou-sempai joked.
"Yeah, well, move it, Aoi. We have to get this crap inside, too." Yamato-kun snapped, straining with the one of his large amps.
"I should help you, Yamato-kun. All I have is your guitar case."
"Shut up and make sure you don't bang it on anything." Yamato-kun hissed. Koushirou struggled between amusement or annoyance and decided to chuckle quietly.
An hour or so later the five of them (Yamato-kun, Jyou-sempai who called Mimi-san, Takeru-san, and Koushirou) were draped over various furniture pieces, panting and grinning.
"Moving is complete." Koushirou announced.
"Until Jyou-kun moves in," Mimi-san reminded them.
"I haven't decided to just yet." Jyou-sempai anxiously put in as the other three muttered darkly.
"When you have, you're paying for movers, fuck this."
"Yamato-kun!" Koushirou protested. "My parents are still here!"
"Sorry, forgot you were fourteen." Yamato-kun laughed.
"I thought your parents had a hotel room, Koushirou-san." Mimi-san said suddenly.
"They did, but when all my stuff got moved, they decided to stay here until they left."
"How long are they planning to stay?"
"They are leaving in two days, actually. They extended their stay because they enjoy it here. A little vacation for my workaholic dad."
"How sweet." Mimi-san gushed.
"Yama-niichan, I have to get home."
"Oh, right. We better go."
"Yamato-kohai, should I come, too? We planned on going to the bookstore." Jyou-sempai half-rose from his seat on the desktop.
"Oh, yeah, sure. You can meet my mom. See ya guys!" Yamato-san waved jauntily.
"Ja ne, Mimi-san, Koushirou-kohai."
"I'll see you guys around." Takeru-san followed the two older boys out.
"Would you like some tea, Mimi-san?" Koushirou asked, getting off Yamato's bed and dusting off his shirt.
"Ano…Koushirou-san…I wanted to talk to you about something." Mimi-san blushed and fiddled with a strand of hair.
"Yes?" He turned towards her and waited.
"I-uh…I…I really like you, Koushirou-san." She blurted out. Koushirou blinked.
"Honto?"
"Would…would you go out with me? Like…on a date…"
Koushirou stared at her.
"Nani?"
Mimi-san blushed brightly.
"I want to go out with you, Koushirou-san."
"Oh."
Silence fell as he stared blankly at her. Her blush was getting hotter and she stared hard at the floor.
I feel so strange. I've never felt so awkward and shy before. I'm not myself at all! She gulped nervously.
"All right."
Her head flew up. "Nani?"
"I'll go out with you. When would you like to go on our first date?"
"Re-really?" Her voice sounded a bit high-pitched.
"Hai."
"Oh, um, I'll call you, okay?" She ran past him and out the front door, just barely remembering to put her shoes back on.
Koushirou remained standing in Yamato-kun's room. His black eyes were dark with pain. Gomen nasai. He thought…to whom he didn't know.
&&&&&&&&
Hikari looked over Daisuke's math homework and nodded.
"Much better, Dai-kun. You're getting a lot better. Great job." She handed him back his paper.
"Really? Aw, thanks Hikari-chan!" He gave her a big goofy grin and threw his arms around her snuggling her shoulder. She giggled and hugged him back.
The song 'Every Heart' sounded throughout Daisuke's room. Its source ended up being in Hikari's pocket and she quickly pulled out her cell phone.
"Takeru-kun!" Hikari exclaimed happily. "Hai. Exactly. Oh? Demo… Takeru-kun." She laughed. "All right, I'll call you back later. Ja ne." She turned off her phone and put it back in her pocket.
"Takeru-kun?"
"I told you about him, didn't I?"
"Iie."
"Yes, I did! Oh, no, that's right. I had a fight with my brother yesterday so I forgot to tell you. I met him in Tokyo. He's Koushirou-san's roommate's younger brother. He's adorable! You'll love him, you'll see. I told him all about you." She smiled happily. Daisuke grinned back.
"All right, I believe you. You don't lie." Daisuke decided. "I have to meet him soon, though, ne?"
"Sure thing, Dai-kun." She kissed his cheek. "Let's finish our homework so we can go to that movie."
"Cool."
&&&&&&&
Ring Ring.
Tai picked up the phone automatically as he walked past, holding a piece of buttered toast in his mouth and a plate stacked with food in his hand. He was starving after a whole night of fasting and then he woke up really late.
"Mo-ee mo-ee." Tai greeted around his toast.
"Tai-kun?"
"'Ora?"
"Did you break your nose again?"
"No!" Tai exclaimed, his toast falling to the ground. "Damn it, I dropped my toast!" Sora giggled.
"Gomen ne, but I have great news!"
"What is it?" Tai grumbled trying to figure out how to get the toast without dropping food or phone.
"Mimi-san and Koushirou-san are going out!"
The plate of food fell to the ground, scattering food. The phone fell from Tai's numb hand and knocked against the sideboard it was sitting on, swinging wildly from its cord.
"Tai-kun? Tai-kun!" Sora's voice sounded so far away and small.
He ran from the phone, from his house and his room. He ran to the park…where his last promise to Izzy was made.
Under a tree, his face pressed to the rough bark, and his hands in fists at his side, he tried hard, so hard, not to cry again. His fist hit the bark in rage.
"Damn it! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?"
&&&&&&&
Koushirou-san walked with Mimi-san the next day, talking about the movie they had just seen.
"Can you believe the graphics? Amazing! It all looked so neat!" Mimi-san exclaimed excitedly.
"Hai. Do know how long it took just to create one?"
"No, how long?"
"First, they had to…" He trailed off and went still.
"Koushirou-san?" She looked up at him and followed his gaze. "Oh, it's Tai-kun." She opened to mouth to shout.
"Chotto matte!"
"What?" Mimi-san stopped in the middle of taking a deep breath and looked back at him.
"Let's just go to lunch by ourselves. We were having a good time talking." Koushirou suggested, already turning.
"Oh, okay!" She blushed prettily and linked one of her arms through his. They began to walk away from Tai-san and the group of friends around him that included Yamato-kun, Hikari-san, Takeru-san, and Sora-san.
"MIMI-CHAN! Mimi-chan, over here!" Sora-san's voice called out excitedly. Koushirou felt his body go tight.
"IZUMI!"
"I have to go."
"Nani?" Mimi-san blinked.
"I have to go."
"IZUMI, GET OVER HERE!"
"Wha-" Koushirou ran, ignoring her questions.
"DAMN IT, IZUMI!" Tai's voice continued to bellow.
Iie, iie, iie, I can't look at you, Tai. I can't, I don't want to cry again! I'm not going to turn into a puddle of emotions! I can't be sane around you right now! Koushirou screamed in his head.
His black eyes darted around, frantically looking for a place to hide. He turned a corner and faced a convenience store entrance. He darted inside and ran into the opening just inside the door. The bells over the door were still jangling from his panicked entrance.
"Oi! What's up with you?" barked a curious, feminine voice. He spun in a circle and met the eyes of a young, purple-haired girl.
"I need to hide, now!" He looked out the door and knew Tai was just behind him.
"Jump the counter, boy-o." She moved back a bit and he jumped over.
"Arigatu gozaimasu."
"Shuddup." He closed his mouth as she put on a pleasant smile. The bells over the door jangled sharply. "Konnichi wa."
"Did-you-see-a-guy-with-red-hair?" Panted out an angry voice.
"Hm? Red hair? He didn't come in here… I think I saw him run past, though. Real crazy looking, with khakis on."
"Yeah, him. Where'd he go?"
"Oh…that way, I guess." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder and shrugged. "You gonna buy something?"
"Iie."
The bells jangled wildly again. The young girl held up a hand below the countertop to stop Koushirou from moving and stared hard at the door.
"Wow, you got yourself a parade following you." She dropped her hand and grinned down at him, brown eyes twinkling behind large round glasses.
"They're my friends." Koushirou explained rising.
"Then, why're you running?"
"I…can't talk to the boy that followed me into this store." He climbed awkwardly over the counter. "Gomen nasai." He bowed low. "You allowed me to hide in the only place he couldn't see me even though I could have jeopardized your safety if I had been lying."
"Hey, no prob." Koushirou smiled at her use of words. He blushed vividly as his stomach growled. "You hungry? We can picnic here or out back. My parents own this store and I can close for lunch. I normally do 'round this time and no customers here."
"It's all right; I'll go eat at a diner nearby."
"I would like someone to talk to while I eat lunch. It's kinda boring otherwise." She flashed a quick grin. "I'm dying of curiosity over here, so you can tell me why you're running from tall, brunette, and cutie, and I'll pay for lunch from the stock you see before you." She waved a hand towards the store merchandise. Koushirou smiled appreciatively.
"That would be nice. I've been wanted to talk about it, actually. My name is Izumi, Koushirou."
"My name is Inoue, Miyako. Call my Miyako and I'll call you Koushirou. You're about to bare your soul and I think cordialities should be forgone." She hopped over the counter and flipped the 'open' sign to 'closed'. "Walk and chose your poison."
"All right, Miyako-san. First, may I ask you…how do you feel about… shonen-ai…manga and anime…?" Koushirou asked hesitantly.
"I love it. I'm a regular hentai and yaoi is my favorite!" Miyako-san squealed happily.
Koushirou heaved a sigh of relief.
&&&&&&&&
"Damn it, damn it!" Tai growled angrily.
"Why did he run away!? We were having such a good time, too! Tai-kun, what the hell did you do?" Mimi-chan shrieked and rounded on Tai.
"I didn't do anything, he did! He ran off like a maniac! How am I supposed to apologize or whatever if he runs off and doesn't answer the phone when I call?" Tai tugged fruitlessly on his hair.
"Whatever. I'm going home. Sora-chan, want to come with and eat some lunch at my house?"
"Sure. Tai-kun, is it okay?"
"Whatever." Tai grumbled. Sora-chan glared at him and turned on her heel.
The two girls walked off angrily.
"Real smooth, Tai-kun." Yamato-san smirked.
"Just sweep her off'a her feet and run off with her already, Mr. I'm-so-effing-cool." Tai snapped.
"Jeez, niichan, don't bite off everyone's head because you feel guilty." Kari rolled her eyes.
"I'm not guilty of nothing." Tai stalked away.
"Should we follow him? What if he hurts himself?" Takeru-san asked Kari worriedly.
"Nah, he needs to get rid of some steam. We'll just be in firing range. Let's go eat."
"Good idea." Yamato-san agreed heartily. "I have gig practice tonight and I'm going to need energy."
&&&&&&&
Tai stomped down the street muttering and kicking anything that wasn't alive. He glanced around wondering where he was and recognized the convenience store he could've swore Koushirou-san had disappeared into. The sign now read 'closed'. He looked inside a little peeved. He had been vaguely thinking of going inside to buy something to eat.
His jaw dropped.
Koushirou and that purple haired chick were sitting up on the counter eating out of cartons. They seemed to be talking seriously. He angrily pushed at the door and fell down onto the tile inside the shop as the door swung in, completely taking him by surprise.
"Oh, damn, I forgot to lock it again!" The girl cursed. "The shop's closed-Oh, it's Tai- I mean, konnichi wa, Yagami-san."
Tai jumped to his feet and ran to Koushirou, grabbing his upper arms before the startled teen could turn away.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Tai yelled in Koushirou's face.
Koushirou's black eyes looked desperately at the purple-haired girl, but she just shook her head, smiling, and backed away.
"I just don't want to speak with you right now, Tai-san."
"WHY THE HELL NOT?" Tai shook Koushirou violently.
"Don't shake me, Yagami!"
"I'm going to shake you until your teeth effing fall out! You know how confused and stupid I've been recently? I can't stop thinking about you and I wanna know why, damn it!" Tai continued to shout and shake.
"You promised me! You promised to play soccer with me!" Koushirou shouted back. "I thought when I came back…I thought when I came back we'd be together, but you are so homophobic you hurt my feelings!"
The shaking stopped.
"Nani?" Tai breathed.
"I promised, didn't I? I promised I would come back. I finally came back and you don't even want me to be me." Koushirou glared at the tile floor. "You want me to be a girl." He whispered.
"Izzy…"
"Did you really think I was a girl? Or did you lie to yourself to make yourself feel better, less homosexual for kissing a little boy?"
"No."
"What?"
"No…I didn't think you were a girl." Tai let go of Koushirou turned Izzy and stepped back.
"But…"
"I remembered enough to know you couldn't be a girl."
"My name, but…even a girl could be 'Izzy'."
"No, not your name." Tai took a deep breath and held out his hand, pinkie extended and his fingers clenched in a fist. "Pinkie promise to come back to Odaiba when you're grown up." Tai ordered again, his own eyes kind of shiny.
Izzy held out his own pinkie, shaking slightly. "Will you promise to remember me and play soccer, real soccer, with me?"
"Hai. I promise."
"Then, I promise to come back." Their pinkies linked. "How… how does- boku." Koushirou turned Izzy breathed.
"Exactly. You said 'boku' not 'atashi'. You couldn't be a girl."
"Then…why…why did you say that?"
"Because I wanted Izzy to be a girl. If you were a girl…I wouldn't be gay. I…I wouldn't hurt or confuse people…I wouldn't confuse myself."
"I don't understand."
"Mimi-chan really likes you, Izzy. Sora-chan says she thinks she's in love with you." Koushirou's eyes widened. "My parents…my parents aren't really…supportive of gay right and the few gay kids I know get bullied and their parents get all weird." He stepped back to Koushirou and cupped his cheek. "What if you get bullied when I'm not there to help you? What if my parents hate you and me? What if my friends and the friends you just met get angry and stop talking to us? What if you start to hate me, too? Izzy, it's too complicated."
"But…" Koushirou closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Aishiteru."
"Izzy…"
"I do. I don't think I'll ever stop. I promised to come back to you, Tai."
"Damn it, Izzy." He wrapped his arms around the smaller redhead. "I've been so confused these past ten years. I kept hoping that you'd be a girl so it'd be easier, so I could understand better."
"Do you hate me then, for being a boy?"
"No."
"I guess that was a rather melodramatic question. Do you love me then?"
"Yes."
"That's all that matters to me. My parents know about you already…well, they know of you and my mother doesn't mind at all that I'm in love with a boy. And I made a friend today who'd probably ask to watch us make out and offer us money."
"It's true, actually."
"It might not be enough…but I do love you. I don't want you to be unhappy, though, being with me."
"Kamisama, Izzy…I don't know what's wrong with me." Tai buried his face in Izzy's thick red hair. "I missed you. You're the only one who's ever affected me in any way."
"Honto?"
"Hai."
"Then, what are you doing? Who cares if you're gay? Whoever does aren't your friends or don't care about you. That girl, Mimi-san, she'll get over it as long as you tell her the truth. I have to open this store back up, so you two should scat." Miyako-san hopped off the counter.
"I'm sorry, Izzy." Tai whispered.
"It's all right."
"I really do have to open this store up, boys."
"Can we…can we try it?" Tai whispered.
"Try what?"
"The whole…gay thing, I guess."
"You mean, like dating?"
"Hai."
"I guess we can."
"Good." Tai exhaled loudly, tightened his hold on the shorter boy, and pressed his lips against Izzy's.
Izzy closed his eyes and leaned in closer, pressing his lips hard against Tai's. His arms wrapped around Tai's neck, and he pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, his mouth opening slightly when Tai's tongue touched his lips.
As Tai kissed his Izzy once again, after ten years of waiting, everything seemed to click. If he had had any doubts left, they were swept away by the feeling of Izzy's lips against his own, and the taste on his tongue, sweeter and softer than his remembered. Maybe because at five and four, they didn't know what a French kiss was, let alone how to do it.
Chocolate covered onigiri…he tastes like chocolate covered onigiri. He pulled away and grinned his big, unforgettable grin seeing those black eyes looking dazedly back.
"Aishiteru, Izzy." He finally whispered back.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Kitty: YAY! I finally wrote the ending to this chapter! I've been wanting to do it for so long. It ended up being a bit different than I thought, though… It didn't come out the way I originally planned, but it came out with the kiss at the end, yay! Don't worry, the story isn't over! Hell, it's just beginning. Hehe.
Japanese-
Domo- informal thanks
Moshi moshi- a phrase used when answering the phone
Aoi- blue
Chotto matte- wait a minute
Boku/atashi- I or me male/female usage
Kamisama- God