Author's Note: Thank you for the positive feedback everyone. I appreciate it. I do feel the need to point out, though, that this is not a request fic. I have every character under consideration, but whether or not they are actually featured in the story depends on whether it fits into the narrative I have planned out, and whether it contributes well enough to the world-building I want to do. So, while I might include certain characters, I am not making any promises.

Thank you.

THE HAPPY TREE INTERVIEWS

CHAPTER THREE

Russell

THE TRUTH IS OUT

ACORN PRESS' HAPPY TREE INTERVIEWS MADE PUBLIC

Acornia Reacts

First there was the dead people coming back to life, now there's these interviews being released... shit is getting real #happytree

- [ConspiracyWatch] on LoudSpeaker

Just viewed the footage of Acorn Press' 1st #happytree interviews – needless to say I'm shocked #unbelievable

- [WiltingLily] on LoudSpeaker

The first #happytree interviews are out, and it looks like the story PineTreeDaily mocked so openly is actually true? #eggmeetface #karma

- [Oberoonie] on LoudSpeaker

This will give Acorn Press the nice boost in sales they've been needing #justsaying #printmediarevival #happytree

- [MattSpeaks] on LoudSpeaker

-Excerpts from front page of content aggregator FeederOnline, Monday May 25

Truly, we are living in an interesting time.

Things we never thought possible are eventuating as a result of the return of Happy Tree to our world. We must try and make sense of the situation, but where to start? A metaphysical barrier preventing anyone leaving? A never-ending cycle of horrific death? Imposed selective amnesia? The great disappearance was already an event that beggared belief, but it seems there are even greater things at work here than we first thought.

The release of the video footage and transcripts of the first two interviews with Happy Tree residents – that have been unofficially christened "The Happy Tree Interviews" in the blogosphere – has been the biggest shock of them all. The revelations in the interviews held so far have both shocked our country and left us clamouring for more. Despite the light shed by the answers and stories we have been given from the two interviewees – one "Giggles" and one "Handy" - many more questions are indeed raised, and present further scope for study. For example, how society has developed while being isolated for so long; whether any industries unique to Happy Tree have developed; the effects of healthcare and crime; the list goes on.

The interviews really must be seen, read and heard to be believed, and we have to thank Acorn Press and their intrepid reporter Joe Grizzle for their work in bringing these interviews to us. Aside from providing sensational information, more than anything else they are also providing us with a call to action. As a country, we need to focus on working out a way to help these people – and also give closure to those in Acornia who may have lost loved ones to Happy Tree.

Allegedly, Acorn Press has many more interviews lined up with other citizens of the county that has perplexed us for centuries. I, for one, eagerly await their release, and hope that the reappearance of Happy Tree is permanent, so that we may figure out some way to help those trapped there.

-Vincent Oakfield; opinion piece in the Daisy River Gazette, Monday May 25

ROV SUCCESSFULLY CROSSES HAPPY TREE BORDER

Following the bizarre incident on May 21 that left four Happy Tree residents dead – and brought back to life the next day – investigations resumed at the border of Happy Tree County.

Attempts were made to cross the county border with a remotely operated vehicle by Acornian government agents, and the ROV successfully crossed the border without harm. Consistent with reports from Happy Tree residents, the ROV was unable to return back across the border to its operator, an unseen force pushing it back every time the vehicle touched the county line.

Interestingly, however, the live video feed from the ROV was maintained throughout the procedure, and continued to run with no anomalies once across the border. It was also noted in other procedures throughout the day that objects remain able to return across the border as long as some part of them remains on the national side – it is only once an entire object has crossed the border that it is unable to return.

According to government representatives at the site, further experiments are being formulated and are planned to be put into action in the coming weeks.

-Extract from front page of Acorn Press, Monday May 25

HAPPY TREE CENSUS ANNOUNCED

The government of Acornia has announced a census on the recently-reappeared Happy Tree County. The aim is to survey the population of the county to determine demographics, and if possible, confirm the identities of citizens and put them in touch with their relatives/descendants.

Acornian President Davis Damworth said in a press conference today: "We wish to gain a better understanding of exactly who is here, to assist with the closing of Missing Persons cases and give families and descendants closure. Census stations will be set up at many points along the Happy Tree county border, and all residents of Happy Tree County are encouraged to visit and pass their details on.

"Our agents are also looking for knowledgable radio operators in the county, to attempt to establish radio contact with Happy Tree, and integrate the county into the Acornian telecommunications network."

-Extract from front page of Acorn Press, Tuesday May 26

The following is a transcript of an interview conducted on audio and video between Joe Grizzle of Acorn Press, and "Russell", a citizen of Happy Tree, on Tuesday May 26 for Acorn Press' publication "The Happy Tree Interviews". Important visual and audio events are noted where appropriate.

[RECORDING START]

ACORN PRESS: -with it, and we've started. Okay, let's get this show on the road. Joe Grizzle for Acorn Press, with Mal Roebuck manning the recording equipment... this is being conducted with the co-operation of the government of Acornia, it is Tuesday May twenty-sixth, and local time is eleven a.m. I'm here with the third interviewee from Happy Tree, and what an interesting one this is. What's your name?

RUSSELL: Ha-ha-harr, me name is Russell, matey!

AP: Ha-ha! Ah, you're the first person we've interviewed with a normal-sounding name. Is that your actual name?

R: Arr, well, it be me family name. On me ship, the crew referred to each other by last name, so when I forgot me given name after entering this place, "Russell" just stuck.

AP: And how old are you, Russell?

R: Oh, well now... I think maybe... eighteen, or thereabouts when I arrived in Happy Tree?

AP: Wow, all of you are so young... uh, tell me more about yourself. Your childhood, your life before Happy Tree?

R: Don't remember much of me life before Happy Tree... just the important stuff. Was born into a poor family by the sea, way up north. Just about on the border between Acornia and Nordfrezia. After I had me legs and one o' me hands taken off in a shark attack, me parents couldn't afford to take care of me, so I was sent away. I was taken south, to Split Peak – the county just north o' Happy Tree – and there I fell into the piracy game. They gave me these here peg legs and hook, and took me on board their ship, and I grew up on the seas.

AP: I... see... And, uh, how did you find yourself in Happy Tree?

R: Arr, 'twas a dark n' stormy night. Me ship was attemptin' to make its way down the coast to the port in Plain County. I remember, we were carryin' pilfered timber and gold from Split Peak in the north. We were passin' by the waters o' Happy Tree County when a great big wave swept us asunder. I don't know what happened to me shipmates, but I went overboard and was swept away... next thing I know, I be wakin' up on the beaches o' Happy Tree, two figures makin' their way over to me... I fainted again... and that be it. I woke up as the newest citizen of this town.

AP: That's quite the story. Are there any others like you in Happy Tree?

R: Yes and no. A lot of us sea dogs have ended up here over the years. Mostly from Split Peak, seein' as that's where a lot of the natural resources were in Acornia... gold and timber, as I said... Food, grains... Oil, too, once industries started usin' it. Startin' about fifty years ago, the county saw a rise in the number o' sailors comin' in on oil tankers. Their navigation systems malfunctionin', mostly. All o' these types o' cargo were on their way to Plain County an' Cactusfield in the south – seein' as there were no real resources in those counties, they had to get theirs from other places willin' to give theirs up. And Happy Tree is bang in the middle of all three... Ha-harr! So, despite all the warnin's about givin' the place a wide berth, yer always playin' with fate when ye weigh anchor on one o' those trips. Davy Jones sometimes decides he doesn't want ye in his locker, so he'll blow ye over that sea boundary. Was what happened to me, and many others. Pay was always good, though... 'specially when yer doing it on the wrong side o' the law, like I was.

AP: I see. Is there still a demand for seaborne goods in Happy Tree, despite access to the outside world being largely lost?

R: Aye, that be true. Happy Tree wasn't a huge city when it disappeared. 'Twas more like a big port town. Now, it be more of a true city. But even though the freeways and the railways have sprung up in the last thirty or so years, this place still has a big relationship with the seas. Trade still be done with the fisheries just as smartly as before this place vanished!

AP: I have to say, I'm impressed by your knowledge of the history of Happy Tree. Has your research informed your persona at all?

R: Arr, um... research? Persona? What be ye gettin' at?

AP: The, uh, the pirate act. Is it an effort to recapture something from Happy Tree's past? An image of a time you are curious about?

R: [Laughs] Ah, Joe, me matey – don't be tellin' me ye thought this pirate garb was a costume?

[There is approximately 6 seconds of silence.]

AP: Uh... w-what do you mean?

R: I didn't have to do any research, matey. I've lived it. I've been in Happy Tree a long, long time.

"The poor young otter. What have we doomed him to?"

"It wouldn't have made a difference whether we pulled him from the water or not. He is doomed as we are, regardless. You know this, Thaddeus. If we had left him to expire, he would merely have appeared at the clinic in the city like everyone else, alive and well. At least here, we can spare him the shock of waking up in a cold bed."

Russell heard the voices fading in with his vision. Two males, conversing calmly but furtively, in the next room. The otter fully opened his remaining eye and looked around at the stark but warm wooden surroundings. He could tell, from the lack of rocking and swaying one would expect on a ship traversing the waves, that he was on land – in a house of some description.

"I know, Isambard... I just wish that things were different. There is nothing we can do to keep souls like him from entering the county. By the time they find out what their circumstances are, it is too late for them – and the outside world, for all we know, no longer exists to us."

"I understand," Isambard replied, as Russell made to get up from the bed. The blue otter propped himself up with his remaining hand, not noticing that his hook was missing from his other arm. "It has been three years, but we are only beginning to know the consequences of our actions." Still in a daze, Russell shuffled towards the edge of the bed and swung his legs out to stand on the floor.

In the dining room, the owners of the two voices – Isambard, a rabbit, and Thaddeus, a deer, sat forlornly at the big wooden table. Isambard continued to speak, downcast. "Truly, we have done a terrible thing. I shudder to think of what the future holds for us... and the boy in that bed, and all who may follow him. Were it not for us listening to-"

Isambard was interrupted by a loud thump coming from the next room, followed by a groan. The rabbit and deer jumped and immediately looked towards the sound.

"It appears our guest is awake," Thaddeus said, and arose from his chair.

The duo entered the room to find Russell sprawled on the floor face down, two stumps where his legs should have been. The otter lifted his head wearily from the floorboards.

"Peg legs..." he mumbled. "Where be me peg legs?"

Within a quarter of an hour, there were three seated at the table. Russell's peg legs were once again fixed to what was left of his shins, and his hook lay on the table beside the bowl of soup he was slowly sipping from. His hat and normal clothing remained folded up on the other side of the room, a white dressing gown covering him for now. Behind him, Isambard's wife – a raccoon who had been introduced to Russell as Isabel – stood at the kitchen basin scrubbing dishes.

Russell placed the spoon into the empty bowl and looked up at Thaddeus and Isambard.

"Russell be thankin' ye landlubbers fer the fixin's. 'Twas some mighty fine soup."

The two others at the table could only smile in response, awkwardly avoiding direct eye contact with the otter. The silence felt empty.

"So," Russell sighed, "I can't leave this place. I'm stayin' here fer the rest o' me life, yes?"

"...In a way, yes," Thaddeus responded, after a long pause. "The rest of your existence, at least. We... aren't sure quite how long that will be."

"Why can't we up and leave?" Russell asked.

Thaddeus and Isambard shot each other a concerned look, so quick that Russell barely noticed. Out of view of the pirate, Isabel briefly stopped scrubbing and turned her head to look at her husband, sadness in her eyes. Isambard met them with his own despairing eyes for a brief moment, and Isabel looked down to the ground before turning back around to resume scrubbing.

"This... this town... this county, is cursed," said Isambard. "But... we do not know why. All we know is that any attempt to leave the county is thwarted. We are trapped here."

"Until we die?"

A grim expression found its way onto Isamard's face. "Beyond that. You will be killed many times, and always return the next day. I'm sorry, boy. We don't know how long this may last."

Russell's expression was vacant as he leaned back in his chair. "So me seafarin' days are over..."

"For the open ocean, at least," Thaddeus replied. "We have found that we can travel some distance past the islands off the coast before the county boundary gives way to international waters."

"But what happens to me now?" Russell said quietly. "I have nothin'. No work, no home. Where can I go? What will this worthless scurvy dog do?"

After some silence, Isambard rose from his chair, and placed a hand on Russell's shoulder.

"We will find you a home. And try, with the other townspeople, to provide for you as best we can. I can tell you are a free soul, Russell... you may be a pirate, but you are good at heart, and you do not deserve this fate. Nonetheless, it has befallen you. You did not end up here by choice, so we have a duty to try and ensure that your new life here is as comfortable as can be."

Russell stepped out on to the back verandah of Isambard's stately house, and looked out to the sea. He leaned on the railing with his hand and hook, and scanned the waves as the afternoon sun glistened off the water. The otter considered the fact that he had never had a permanent home before – and now, through no fault of his own, he had been forced into taking one up. One where temporary, though painful, death constantly loomed. He thought he would have felt angrier, more bitter about it. But all he felt was simple resignation. Was it the shock of nearly drowning? Was it simple disbelief?

Whatever the reason, he thought, this was his life now. He simply had to make the best of it. He would never again sail the wide open seas, never again visit a new port every few months. Never again would he see his old shipmates – all he had was the clothes he was wearing, his eye patch, and his augmented limbs.

One side of his mouth turned upwards in a half-smirk. But, of course, there were plenty of new "shipmates" to make friends with here in Happy Tree County. And plenty of sea to explore – at least, until a few miles past the chain of islands in the distance. And he had all the time in the world to engage with both.

Russell's pirating days were over. But, in a twisted way, his future still looked a little bright.

At least, he hoped so.

RUSSELL: I've watched Happy Tree grow from a bustlin' seaside town, into a small metropolis. I've seen town houses give way to skyscrapers. I've seen the county's population multiply, as unfortunate travellers, runaways, lost folk, have found themselves here over the centuries. I've seen the wooden piers at the harbour turn into a concrete dock. I've seen technology advancin' far beyond what I ever imagined. I've seen the first souls to bring the car... the plane... the telephone... the computer. It's been a long life I've led. So long, me accent and manner o' speakin' are startin' to change... assimilate into the modern way o' talkin'... Me body's been stabbed, cut, sliced, crushed and torn apart more times than I could ever remember. Nothin' about me is an act, Joe. Nothin'.

[There is approximately 4 seconds of silence.]

ACORN PRESS: I... God. I am so sorry. I should have thought-

R: Narr, ye couldn't have known. Nobody believes me when I first tell 'em anyways. The landlubbers quickly come 'round when I show 'em the hundred-year-old photographs. Yarr, I be standin' with others in front o' the town hall, no buildin's surroundin' it. Yet now, it be squished in between high-rise apartments.

AP: That's... actually quite fascinating. So you've known the original residents of Happy Tree longer than just about anybody. What are they like?

R: Good people. Very good, kind people. Only issue is... [The interviewee looks around.] ...They're hidin' somethin'. But old matey Russell knows nothin' about what they went through. They won't tell a soul except fer each other. That Isambard fellow... when he told me he didn't know why the town was cursed, he had that little quiver in his voice that tells a scurvy dog he knows more'n what he's lettin' on. Well... I've had almost two hundred and fourty-seven years to try an' coax some kinda answer outta him and the rest of 'em, but it ain't happenin'. So I stopped tryin' about fifty years in.

AP: Well... now that I know you're actually a pirate... a historical one... I have to ask – did you ever kill while you were out on the seas?

R: No, never. That motley crew weren't good people by any stretch o' the imagination, but they never killed once while I was with 'em. We were more covert, operatin' around lawful folk rather than just slicin' through 'em. I never laid my sword on any sentient being in me life.

AP: Oh. Well... that's good to know. Uh, and how has it been adjusting to the modern world over such a long timespan?

R: Hmmm. [The interviewee shrugs.] I can't really say I've... adjusted. Yarr, it's mighty strange. The world around me has changed in almost every way, but I haven't. It be kind of like a fish, taken from the seas and put in a tank o' water on land. The fish be the same, but the surroundin's be different... and the fish ain't as free as it was. [Sighs] Ye adapt to drivin' a motor car, catchin' the train, goin' to a shop to get yer vegetables and other scurvy-cures... but there's somethin' still missin'. It only feels right when I'm out on me boat by the beach. And fer the longest time I've been wantin' to share that rightness with someone... [The interviewee shakes his head.] ...But the lasses have changed too. There was this one, some months ago... Giggles-

AP: Giggles again? You know her too?

R: Aye, every landlubber and seadog knows each other here. Well, she taught me a lot about what the lasses are like now, and I tried to keep up with it, but I just couldn't. We gave it a right go, though, so regret ain't on me mind. But it still pains me a bit all the same... plenty o' fish in the sea, they say, but the sea be quite small in my circumstances. And with every passin' decade, the fish grow less and less familiar.

AP: ...I'm sorry to hear that.

R: Arr, naught ye can do about it. Naught anyone can really do about anything here in Happy Tree. This be our lot in life... and death. A fair few of us hope fer freedom from this hell of ours – and we don't know why we returned to ye, but it be our best chance yet of getting' that freedom.

AP: Indeed. And it seems that's all the time we have. A good note to end on... Thank you very much Russell, I can't wait to see the reactions from the public when they see and hear the things you've been talking about.

R: Arr, it be nice talkin' to ye, Joe. I hope me story can open landlubbers' eyes on the outside. [The interviewee gets up and heads for the door.] Wish me luck on the drive home – yarr, it's been a fair few years, but I still haven't quite gotten used to which pedal be go, and which pedal be stop! Ha-ha-harr!

AP: [Laughs] Goodbye Russell, take care.

R: May ye sail on calm seas.

[The interviewee leaves the Happy Tree side of the interview booth.]

[The door closes.]

MAL ROEBUCK: Hey Joe... text just came in from Tim. He needs to see us at HQ. Apparently they've been receiving requests from other news agencies to interview you...

AP: God, really?

MR: Yeah, the interviewer being interviewed. Interesting stuff. The interviews with Giggles and Handy are spreading like wildfire, the blogs are going crazy... and don't even get me started on the conspiracy sites-

[There is the distant sound of a car crashing.]

MR: Shit... was that Russell?

AP: It might have been-

[RECORDING END]

"Russell went for his interview today, didn't he?" asked Cuddles.

"Uh... yeah, yeah he did," came the reply from Handy, as he came in from the kitchen balancing a tray of buffalo wings on his stumps. The beaver slid the tray on to the living room table and sat beside Cuddles on the couch, as the rabbit cracked open another can of soda. "He hasn't come back though. Nobody's seen him since before lunch today."

"Hmm. Well, I think we might be seeing him come out of that hospital tomorrow morning then," Cuddles remarked before taking a gulp from his drink.

"It's a good idea of yours..." Handy continued, sipping through a straw from an open can next to him. "...The whole interview thing."

"Ah, it's not really my idea," countered Cuddles, switching on the TV. "I just took the opportunity when it came up. You can't wait around when something like that happens!"

Handy furrowed his brow. "Well, if you can't wait around, then why haven't you done an interview yet? I thought you'd be the first to put up your hand?"

Cuddles turned to look at Handy. "Eh, I figured I'd take a back seat for once. Let everybody else say their bit. I'm not really... special... I don't have much to offer Acorn Press. But all of my friends do. They all have their little quirks about 'em," he said with a small grin.

"I think you're being too hard on yourself, man," said Handy, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah, nah," Cuddles replied, taking another sip. "I volunteered everybody else for a reason. I can't go stealing the spotlight now, can I?" The yellow rabbit leaned forward and plucked a wing from the tray, biting into it. "I'll volunteer myself for an interview when the time's right. Besides, I'm doing my own little investigations."

One side of Handy's mouth turned up in a wry smile. "Scheduling conflicts?"

Cuddles returned the smile. "Scheduling conflicts."

They sat in silence for a few seconds, before Handy himself leaned forward to grab a wing. However, like so many times before, the beaver handyman found that he had no hand to grasp the food that was so tantalisingly close. As was customary, Handy growled, and turned to frown and glare at nothing in particular.

Cuddles slowly leaned towards Handy, looking confusedly in the same direction. He turned his head to look at Handy's glaring face, then back in the direction of his friend's gaze, then back to Handy.

The rabbit blinked twice. "What are you looking at when you do that?"

Handy blinked as well, and his face returned to normal as he looked back at Cuddles. "What am I looking at when I do what?"

The two friends stared at each other in silence – a slight feeling of wrongness in the air. But Cuddles brushed it off.

"...Never mind," he said quickly, before turning back to the TV. "Hey, look, the game's on!"

"Oh yeah!" Handy exclaimed.

"This was such a good idea, sending Giggles and Petunia on that girls' night out..."

"Guys' night in, baby!"

"...Hey buddy, you want help with that wing?"