Ana POV

By the next morning, I'm exhausted and a little shaken up from a night of watching Leila lying her hospital bed. She looked so fragile with all of the different tubes coming out of her arms and wires hooked around her fingers and toes. She was in and out of it all night, but when she was awake, she barely knew who I was. She had no idea what had happened to her or where she was, and she was scared. At one point she tried to rip the IV out of her arm and started fighting with the nurses, so she had to be restrained to the bed. It upset Kathy so much to hear her screaming after that that Phil had to take her home. I didn't want Leila to be left alone, so I stayed the night with her, holding her hand, reassuring her, even after she'd fallen asleep. Phil came back the next morning, alone, and told me to go home and get some sleep, but I didn't want to go. In truth, I was afraid to leave her. It didn't feel safe yet, like I'd leave and something would happen, and I wanted to be there if she got any worse. But after the nurses' reassurances that she was fine, stable, and really, truly going to be okay, I decided I could go.

Driving home from the hospital is difficult as I realize how much the sleepless night is affecting me. I have to turn up the stereo of Kate's car as loud as it will go when I'm stopped at the stop light around the corner from my apartment to keep myself from nodding off and when I do get back to the apartment, climbing the stairs to our floor feels like I'm climbing Everest.

I trudge through the front door and peel my jacket off, too tired to reach down and pick it up when I completely miss the hook and it falls to the floor, and then shamble forward into the living room. I'm single minded in my quest for my bed, but as I walk towards the hallway for my room, Kate and Elliot spot me from the kitchen.

"Hey!" Kate calls, smiling broadly and quickly turning to a shirtless Elliot leaning over the counter next to her. "It's the walk of shame, get your phone! I'm sure everyone on Facebook would love to see this. We could tag her mom!"

I roll my eyes but Elliot doesn't play along, nor does he make his own sarcastic comment. Instead, his eyes narrow and he looks me up and down with a little too much scrutiny, and when he does speak, his tone is clipped and accusatory.

"Did you sleep with Christian last night?" He asks.

"What? No." I reply, confused. Oh, shit… that's right, I was with him when they left. I guess this means Kate didn't get my voicemails, which does make me feel a little better since she never showed up.

"Liar." Kate says. "It's seven thirty in the morning and you're coming home in the same outfit you wore last night. I know that you weren't drunk enough to go home with a random, so unless Ryan Reynolds walked into that bar last night, it pretty much leaves Christian. What's it like having sex with a gay guy anyway? Was it awkward or did he just insist on fucking your ass?" She laughs and I glare at her.

"I wasn't with Christian last night, Kate." I snap. "You wanna know where I was? I was at Northwest, in the ICU. Leila tried to kill herself last night. She almost died and you were too busy fucking Elliot to be there. I called you three times, I left you two different messages, but you were too busy making sure you got off to notice. You're a really great friend, Kate, you know that?"

The smile on her face slowly melts away as she begins to register what I've told her and I feel a small, fleeting sense of vindictive pleasure in watching her shock.

"What happened?" She asks.

"She overdosed on sleeping pills." I tell her. "She was upset when she went home last night and she took the entire bottle."

"Because of that guy?" Kate asks, and I begin to feel the echo of fiery anger begin burning inside of me again at the reminder of Christian's role in Leila's self-destruction. I'm too afraid to speak and let something slip in front of Elliot though, so I don't answer her aloud, I just nod. "You mean, she tried to kill herself because a guy she was dating for three months broke up with her? That's a little dramatic don't you think?"

I stare back at her with disbelief. "Are you serious right now?" I ask her and she shrugs. "Kate, she almost died. Not in an oh thank god she looked up from her cell phone in time to slam or the breaks kind of way, in the she's being admitted into a psychiatric hospital because she's going to try again kind of way."

"They're putting her in a mental hospital?" Kate asks, "So, she's like what? Crazy now? That's ridiculous, this is clearly just an attention thing."

Even Elliot reacts to that one. "Wow, Kate…" He says, looking at her with disgust but she doesn't turn to look at him. She's looking at me and I'm staring back at her, now shaking with anger.

"You're such a selfish bitch, Kate." I say coldly. "Our best friend, the girl who has been there for you through countless breakups, who has gotten out of bed at three o'clock in the morning dozens of times to pick you up from a bar or some random guy's house because you were so drunk you couldn't stand on your own, that girl is in the hospital right now fighting for her life. You should have been there for her, the way she's always been there for you, but you can't stop thinking about yourself for even one goddamn minute, can you?"

I don't wait for her answer, instead, I turn around and storm back up the hallway towards my bedroom. I don't want to fight with her right now. I'm drained, physically and emotionally, and if she's going to act like this, I don't want to waste the energy on her. When I get back to my room, I slam the door behind me and immediately begin peeling my clothes, which still smell like the hospital, off of me, and then crawl into bed.

I can feel moisture building behind my eyelids as my mind drifts back to Leila and what could have happened. What could have happened because of him. I haven't given much thought to my plan since I was let in to see Leila, but now that I'm alone, it's all I can think about. Even my need for sleep is pushed aside as the reality of what has happened really begins to sink in and I'm forced to face the fact that I really did just almost lose my best friend. I want revenge so badly I can practically taste it. I'm usually not this kind of person. I don't normally hold grudges, I don't even normally stay mad at people for more than a few minutes at a time, but this… this feels all consuming. Leila is practically my sister and he abused her, he hurt her, and then he broke her.

I want that for him. I want him to feel what she's feeling, I want him to get to the point that she got to last night, and I want to be the one to do it to him. I already know what I'm going to do, I just have to think of how I'm going to do it. I need to make him fall for me, but I'm not really sure how to do that. I've only ever been in love once, with Joshua, my high school boyfriend and the guy I lost my virginity to. We dated for three years, two in high school and then my freshman year of college but while I went off to Vancouver with Kate, he went to UW in Seattle and we drifted apart. He didn't seem that upset when we broke it off, and he hasn't even reached out to see me once since I've moved to Seattle. So clearly, even after three years of dating, I didn't make that much of an impression. And Josh and I had things in common. We grew up in the same small town, we had the same group of friends, we both liked the same books and movies… What do I have in common with Christian Grey?

I try to fight through the fatigue for anything from our conversation from last night that I can cling to and try to bond with him over, but the more I sort through the memories, the more confused I become… Did we talk about him at all? No, I don't think we did. I remember asking him a few questions, but now that I'm replaying the conversation over in my head, he never actually answered any of them. He'd somehow turned it back around on me without me noticing.

I frown. So… he doesn't like to talk about himself. Well, that's good to know, I guess. If I'm going to try and make a relationship work with him, I'm going to have to respect that. Try not to push him. I can do that. It's not like I actually care, so really that's just one less thing I'm going to have to fake. Unfortunately though, everything else I know about him I know from what Leila told me and I'm not actually supposed to know any of that. It's all fairly vague though. I know he's a sexual dominant so… he must like women who are submissive. So, I should let him take the lead, make the decisions, and maybe even let him tell me what to do…

I have to fight the eye roll that just the thought of that elicits from me. Independence has always kind of been my thing, which is the result of having a flaky mom and the vast array of daddy issues that I'm very well aware of. But, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to get over that. Okay, so let him be private and let him be in control. I can do that, for a while. In fact, I'm going to have to do that. Not letting him be in control is how he justified doing what he did to Leila…

A cold shiver runs over me as I have the realization that up to this point has somehow eluded me. If I'm going to be in a relationship with him, if I'm going to try and get him to fall in love with me, I'm going to have to have sex with him. Okay, if I'm being honest with myself, it's not like that's that big of a sacrifice. I mean, he is absolutely gorgeous and I felt his rock hard body pressed against mine when we were dancing last night. Leila said the sex she had with him was incredible, the best she'd ever had, until… until he went too far. Until he hurt her. What if he hurts me? What if he wants to do those things to me?

I have to swallow as I realize the answer to those questions is of course he will. He had rules and she broke them and he punished her for it. If I let him give me rules, he'll punish me for breaking them too. I don't know if I could take that. I take a deep breath in a slowly exhale as my mind immediately conjures another image of Leila in the hospital and I realize that if I want to do this, and I do, then I'm going to have to. I'm going to have to do whatever he wants me to. I'm just going to need to be perfect, just until I hook him. Then I can flip the switch, bring him down, and then get away and never look back.

I nod with my own resolute and turn over to try and find some sleep. Just as I close my eyes though, there is a knock on my door.

"Go away, Kate! I don't want to talk to you." I snarl at the door, but it isn't Kate who answers.

"It's Elliot. Can I come in?" He asks and I stare at the door with confusion for a moment before curiosity gets the better of me.

"Okay…" I say hesitantly, and he pushes the door open, steps inside and closes it softly behind him.

"Hey." He says, quietly and I hug the comforter tight around me, since I'm only wearing a bra, and sit up.

"Hey." I say back.

"So, how was Leila? Is she going to be okay?"

"Oh, uh… yeah. Yeah, it was scary for a while but it looks like she's going to be fine. We're just worried that she might, you know, do it again."

"I'm sorry, Ana. That's really awful. I know that you're close to her, I can't imagine what you're going through right now." He walks over and sits on the bed next to me. "And, look… I'm sorry that Kate was like that when you got home. I don't know why she does shit like that, I know she cares about you a lot, and Leila. She's just not the best at showing it…"

"You don't have to apologize for her, Elliot." I tell him. "I know how she is. I'm used to it. I know she cares, she just sucks at showing it."

"Is there anything that I can do for you?" he asks, and I bite down on my lip as the thought of what I actually do need from him crosses my mind. Okay, don't blow this, Ana.

"Actually, I had to leave last night fairly suddenly. I didn't get a chance to ask Christian for his number. Do you think you could give it to me?"

His face falls and he looks down at his fingers for a minute, looking as though he's fighting with a decision before turning his gaze back up to me and frowning. "I'm sorry, Ana. I'm not really supposed to give out his number. He's a public figure… you know how it is."

"Oh." I say, immediately crestfallen. "Right. Of course. Makes sense." I nod, but look away from him to try and hide the depth of my disappointment. I don't want Elliot to think I'm some kind of crazy stalker, but without him, I have no idea how I'm going to get in touch with Christian again. Maybe call his company? I doubt that will get me anywhere… Maybe I could get ahold of Leila's phone and see if she still has his number.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asks and my gaze shoots back up towards him a little too sharply. I smile at him sheepishly and nod my head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired." I assure him.

"Yeah, I can imagine you are." He tells me. He reaches up and brushes a loose strand of hair out of my face and gently tucks it behind the ear, and, as I feel the backs of his fingers graze my neck, I give him a what are you doing kind of look. He has the grace to look embarrassed and he immediately pulls his hand away from me and begins looking around the room. I think he's trying to find something to break the tension, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why he doesn't just leave.

"Is this you?" He asks, nodding to a picture of me on the bedside table. I look over at it and frown. It's a picture of me and my dad, my real dad. The only picture of the two of us together that exists. I'm less than a day old, still in the hospital, and cuddled in his arms while he reads a book with a bright red cover called The Merry Go Round by Carolyn Wells.

"Yeah." I say, sadly. "Yeah, that's my Dad. He was deployed a few days after that picture was taken and he was killed in action. That picture is all I have of him. Well that, and this." I reach up for the necklace hung around my neck, the necklace that I've worn every day for as long as I can remember.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Elliot says, looking slightly guilty and I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it. I've looked for that book that he's reading to me in the picture everywhere but it's out of print so I'd have to buy it from an auction and the cheapest I've been able to find it is like, $300 and that doesn't come easily for someone without a job and a lot of bills to pay." I trail off, but he turns back to look at the picture, studying it carefully for a minute.

"Well, I hope you get to read it again someday." He says, and he gives me a half smile before he gets up off the bed. "I should let you get some sleep. I'll uh… I'll see you later, I guess."

"Yeah." I say with a nod. "Thanks for coming to check on me, Elliot."

"Anytime." he replies and I smile at him as he turns and leaves the room. A long, harsh breath escapes my lips, taking a lot of tension out with it as I collapse back into the pillows and try again to get some sleep. I'm almost successful, just on the cusp of that blissful moment between reality and dreams when I'm jerked awake again by the sound of my phone buzzing loudly on the nightstand next to me. I want to ignore it and I almost do, until I realize it could be about Leila, and I practically dive for it. It's an unknown number calling, which for me, usually means a debt collector, but it's a Seattle number so it could also be the hospital.

"Hello?" I answer hesitantly.

"Anastasia?" The voice answers. "I hope I didn't wake you, this Christian Grey." I freeze. Holy shit. How did he get my number?

"Uh, no." I say, my voice a little too high. "I was actually just thinking about you. I was sorry that I had to leave last night so suddenly. I had a great time."

"So did I." He replies, and I note the hint of surprise in his voice. "Actually, that's why I was calling. I'd really like it if you'd let me take you out again, Anastasia. We could go to dinner and maybe see a movie or something."

He's asking me out. Yes! "Absolutely." I agree quickly. "I'd love that."

"Good. Shall we say next Saturday? Eight o'clock?"

"Sounds great. Just text me where you want me to meet you."

"I will, and I'll see you then. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too."

"Good. Good-bye, Anastasia."

"Bye." I hang up the phone and stare down at it unbelieving for a moment. Oh my god, did that really just happen? I feel a wave of excitement as I've effortlessly overcome the first hurdle in my plan. Now comes the hard part. Finding out how I can become his everything, so that I can leave him with nothing. I set my phone back on my nightstand and fall back into my pillow, working through what I'm going to do next until I finally, slowly, drift off to sleep.