"So these Lake people from ...err Escargot... were treating us like heroes . I mean, sure...we're dwarves and that is an automatic 3 cool points, but the majority of them arrived in wine kegs. In most cities that's an automatic stay in the drunk tank . The people here however were like...ooh...the mountain kings have returned...down with the dragon...yay dwarves ! and that type of nonsense. " , explained Ymir in amusement.
"This is a good thing, is it not? ", inquired Clovis. "I mean, most townsfolk are ready to get out the pitchforks and form an angry mob when adventurers come to town. Our..I mean the profession has quite a few negative connotations attached to it. ", noted the artificer. He wanted to include himself , but sadly his adventuring days had long past. He wisely got out of the game in his 30s and used his ill gotten gains to form his buisness empire. Although most adventurer's died young and broke, the artificer did feel a slight regret at his life changing decision.
"Hell yeah its good! ", declared the dwarf proudly. "It's about time we got our due. Even though it was a bunch of backward lake people its better then nuthin. As I said, they treated us with the utmost respect and resupplied and rearmed us for the final leg of our journey. The single mountain...or whatever it was called. Named so because it was a massive solitary mountain that rose out from the heath. ", explained the dwarf.
"Hmm...most likely a magical phenomena. Which would explain what attracted the dwarves there in the first place. Magical mountains, usually have rich veins of gold, silver, gems ...and more exotic materials. ", commented Clovis sagely.
Ymir nodded. "Aye...stories of my cousin's people and their fabulous wealth even reached the clans of Khazag Narg. Rivers of gold , streams of silver, rubies the size of your fist. Its enough to make a dwarf's head spin. "
"So we treck up the side of the mountain, and I'm literally shaking with anticipation. You know how I get right before a big battle. I'm not nervous, I'm like ready to go. Like a race pony ready to leave its opposition in the dust. We've been through legions of trolls, goblins , worgs, spiders, and drow for this moment. It was due or die, put up or shut up, the ultimate test of dwarf vs dragon ...or so I thought. ", sighed the dwarven maid.
"Let me guess, a dragon trap ? an avalanche? Perhaps the dragon's minions? ", guessed the artificer.
"Nooo...it was more self inflicted. Seemed my cousin's master plan was to gain entrance to the dragon's lair via a secret entrance . He had some type of moon map , which can only be read under the moon light, which showed us where the lair was. ", explained the dwarf sullenly.
Clovis raised an inquisitive eyebrow. The idea of a secret tunnel to their enemies lair was nothing new, but the moon map was definitely something he would love to study. He made note to inquire more about it later .
"I thought, sweet...we'll sneak in , catch the big lizard while its sleeping then whack it! Hells, there were 14 of us , we might be able to subdue it if we all got in a power attack . I was almost giddy with excitement, but cousin had other plans. Seemed he wanted to send chubby in there and steal the horde from the dragon's nose. ", spat the dwarf.
Clovis blinked his eyes in shock. "Excuse me...", he asked in disbelief.
"He wanted to steal the horde , one piece at a time. I know, I know . Utterly ridiculous ! Even if he had a bag of holding, it would take ages . I mean , there's 14 of us, we should be able to take this big beastier on. Even if he managed to kill a couple of us, thats more for the rest of us. If the horde was even 1/10 of what it was rumored to be, then we could raise our fallen comrades and still come out with a tidy profit. I of course protested, but cousin was being bull headed. He didn't want to have his authority questioned, so he sent chubby off to loot the dragon's lair. " , grumbled Ymir.
"I considered following him and making sure he got the job done right , but I was being stubborn too. I secretly wanted him to fail, so we could go in axes and swords a swingin. We waited awhile, before Billy Bobo or whatever his name was came out with this huge golden cup. It was breathtaking, a few grand at least. My mood immediately picked up, but then the mountain began to shake. ", continued the dwarf.
"The dragon woke up and found its horde pilfered right? They don't like that ...", chuckled the artificer.
Ymir nodded, "No sir. They don't like that. Even from outside we can hear him interrogating little Chubby. I half expected our little thief to be a crispy snack at that point...however... ", trailed the dwarf.
"He started to monologue , correct? ", chuckled Clovis.
"Yes! The egotistical lizard started to monologue about how super awesome he was . You know my teeth are like swords , claws like spears, scales like 10 fold shields blah blah blah. Oh...my favorite part was ...My breath ...is DEATH! ", giggled the dwarf.
"Anyways. Chubby took the opportunity to grab some more loot and wisely ran for it as ...I think his name was smokey or something...as Smokey went on and on about himself. ", continued Ymir.
"Don't tell me. At that point the dragon went ballistic and took off in search of your band? Stealing once from a dragon is bad, stealing twice is a guarantee confrontation. ", postulated the artificer.
"Yes sir. Old Smokey guessed we were outside and took the main door out. We could fight the beast underground when it couldn't fly, but outside we were at a clear disadvantage. The big lizard was huge, the biggest red dragon I've ever seen. I'm talking elder wyrm , advanced , with the elite array type of bad assery here. Well, I'm not stupid. At that point we all ran into the tunnel, before we were barbeque dwarf. I was hoping it would return back to its lair , so we can get into a proper melee with it. I guess our chance of survival in a straight up brawl , was 25 % but hey you only live once right? ", boasted the dwarf bravely.
"Yes...25% ...great odds. ", sniffed Clovis, suddenly recalling why he quit adventuring. Any regrets he had were replaced with the comforting knowledge that he was safe and sound for the last 40 years.
" So we were waiting in its lair, ready to rumble. We all knew that we had maybe seconds to live, so we braced our selves for the fiery doom that would befall us. The seconds turn to minutes, the minutes turn to hours...and at that point we figured the dragon wasn't coming back. We instead looked around, and ...wow...let me tell you my cousin's clan was loaded. I've never seen so much gold and treasures. I'm talking about mountains of the stuff, piles and piles of silver and gems. Even ancient armors and weapons. I'm talking about jack pot time.", describe the dwarf in wonder.
"What about the dragon ?" , asked Clovis curiously.
"Eh? At that point we didn't know. I figured it didn't see us and blamed the lake people. I found out later my suspicions were correct, and it was razing their town at the time. ", shrugged the dwarf casually.
"How unfortunate for them. ", sympathized the artificer , a bit disturbed but not surprised by the callousness of his friend.
"So cousin was looking for some super ruby stone , the Barkingstone or something , a symbol of his birthright or something, and couldn't find it. The rest of us was loading up and armor, weapons, and treasure. After what seemed like days, we guessed the dragon got lost, or maybe left for greener pastures. I think Ballsin suggested he might have decided to loot the drow settlement. Whatever the reason, since we were laden with loot, and had no enemy to fight, we decided to head out.", continued Ymir.
"The dragon gone, the treasure looted, and nobody died. Mission accomplished! ", added Clovis.
"I wish that was the case. When we left the mountain, our jaws dropped at the sight we saw. ", warned the dwarf.