AN: To be quite honest I love the fact that someone took so much time and effort to write out a quite well thought out rant against this story and why it's bad. Though I wonder if people who flame take as much time to actually read what authors write in their stories or if they just skim. Oh well though. I write what I write and if a few people don't like then no skin off my back.

Enough focusing on the bad though! Thank you guys for such rave review. In three chapters alone this story has crushed my other stories in terms of reviews, follows, and favorites! A little disheartening while also an ego booster but thank you for that! I can only hope my other stories catch on just as well.

Now some have asked about where I'm taking the story, how Naruto is gonna handle certain things, etc etc and I'm sorry to say guys I have no clue. This was written as more of a fuck around story to just have fun with, had no plans whatsoever to actually take this story serious in any sense of the word. The idea of making this slightly more serious though is becoming more and more enticing though so that may just change.

As for the people who have issues with the pairings, too bad. I personally like the pairings and many people actually took the time to vote and I will not disregard that because you don't like female Sasuke. Adding girls on the other hand MAY be done. Kinda figuring this all out as I go along and your critiques and reviews help me get better at doing this.

Enough of my jibber jabber!

Curtains up!

"Ok ok so let me get this straight, you're a ninja-sage from another dimension who near single-handedly brought ultimate peace to your world ending generations of hate, grief, and darkness. You are also pretty much a deity level being due to circumstances from your birth and events throughout your life which culminated in you being your world's Child of Prophecy. Bout sum it up?" spoke a surprisingly calm Rias Gremory.

"It was far from being single-handed but yea that's the gist of it," spoke the Uzumaki.

He had just finished telling his two house guests his life story, of course skipping the smaller details and such due to how long the story already was without said details. As it was it had taken him almost two hours to tell it to them, having to stop every now and again to explain to them things like what Chakra was and how it worked.

"….join my peerage," spoke a now confident Rias. There was no way she could pass up the opportunity to have such an amazing power in her peerage, even if turning him took all the remaining pieces she had left.

"Pft, good luck girly," the ever stoic Ophis said, bringing attention to herself.

Turning an irritated gaze at her fellow female Rias finally asked the question that had been bugging her for quite some time, "And who are you? I hardly feel anything from you which means you're either a really weak devil or a regular human."

Naruto turned a curious glance to the loli themed being as he too wanted to know the answer to that. Ophis had only told him her name and that was about as much info as he could gleam from her. He didn't really care too much about what she was as such things never bothered him in the first place. One of his best friends was a massive construct of chakra that had been sealed into his stomach at birth and his worst enemy had been a human who was naught more than a sore loser who had gotten stuck in the friend zone. Species and race really meant very little to him.

"While Uzumaki-kun wouldn't know of me I at least expected an heir to one of the 72 pillars to know of me, though I have grown quite adept at hiding my presence these last few centuries," Ophis said, the ever neutral expression and monotone voice not once changing, though she did get a raised brow from the red head Uzumaki at the added suffix to his name.

Rias could only look at her wearily. If this person was strong enough to warrant her infamy amongst the 72 Pillar families then she was clearly powerful, how powerful that was though remained to be seen.

"To be short my name is Ophis, the Infinite Dragon God," Ophis said leaving a dumbfounded Rias gaping. Naruto just hmm'd at the information as he himself wasn't much for titles despite his own numerous ones. Back in the Elemental Nations many had taken to calling him the Nidaime Rikudou Sennin (Second Sage of Six Paths), Bijuu no Tentei (Master of the Tailed Beasts), and various other monikers likening him to his ancestor.

Rias on the other hand was left bewildered at the information. Ophis and Great Red were said to be two of the strongest beings in existence only being matched by the power of the True God. Not even the Seraphs or Four Great Satans could stand up to their power let alone the corrosive properties of their home plane, the Dimensional Gap. Yet what shocked her even more was Naruto's own calm demeanor, as well as the fact that Ophis had taken such an interest in her fellow red head. To have caught the attention of such a powerful being spoke volumes about his own power but how he compared to Ophis remained to be seen.

"Wait then how do you two know each other?" a still shocked Rias asked.

"After our own meeting in the park I left to investigate two powerful auras I felt whenever I used my father's signature technique which bends space and time to make travel instantaneous. I found myself in the Dimensional Gap as it's called, and found Ophis and Great Red there-"

"Wait you survived the Dimensional Gap!? That place is said to be so potent that the very air is as corrosive as acid and kills anyone almost instantly!" Rias spoke, interrupting Naruto.

"Hmm so that's what I felt when I entered there. But my body is special in that it can adapt to almost any condition to insure my survival so it must have taken the qualities of the Dimensional Gap and broken them down to make me immune to its effects. Anyways as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Naruto said pointedly staring at Rias who only giggled nervously in response, "I met Great Red and Ophis and Great Red seemed like he would be a good challenge so I fought him. Sadly he didn't have my stamina or healing factor so he couldn't keep up and the match was over faster than I would have liked," Naruto said as calmly as if he was talking about the weather.

Again Rias could only gape. Sure she had felt a hint of his power and seen a hint of what he could do but to be able to not only fight the True Dragon on equal ground but come out the winner was unbelievable. Such a thing had never been heard of before. And that's when she figured out why Ophis had scoffed at her attempt at getting Naruto into her peerage. She was nowhere close to being powerful enough to attempt such a thing. She knew that even her brother Sirzechs wouldn't be able to do so even if Ajuka gave him a whole set of mutated pieces.

With a sigh Rias plopped herself in her seat once more as she calmed her nerves. Sitting next to her were arguably the two most powerful beings on this plane of existence.

For a minute no one spoke a word, Rias regaining her composure, Naruto simply enjoying his alcoholic beverage, and Ophis….well no one really knew what she was doing or thinking. Naruto then stood from his seat and stretched whilst yawning.

"Well I've had a pretty interesting day so far and it is getting pretty late. I know Ophis is planning on staying with me but how about you Rias-chan?"

Hearing Naruto snapped Rias out of her thoughts concerning said red head, "Yea it is pretty late, if it wouldn't be much of a bother I wouldn't mind staying."

"Well the bedrooms are upstairs and they all have beds and such. So feel free to pick one. Bathrooms are upstairs if you wanna shower as well. See you both in the morning then," and with a small wave Naruto was off to the stairwell leading to the beds.

The two women stood seated, Rias looking at Ophis questioningly, "Never thought that the Ouroboros Dragon would be a gothic Lolita."

"Being a big tit cow isn't everything Gremory," was Ophis' monotone rebuttal.

Before Rias could say anything else Ophis had left the room, presumably to find a room for herself. The red headed Gremory could only fume at the insult.

"Buchou you don't look too happy, anything wrong?" the blonde bishonen knight Yuuto Kiba asked.

Rias only sighed in response. She was currently in Kuoh Academy's Occult Research Club building which was used as a guise for herself and her peerage members. She had spent part of the morning with Naruto and Ophis who she had come to dislike for her irritating monotone voice as well as the various insults she would throw at Rias. Rias knew she was no match for the Dragon God and could only fume and try and insult Ophis back, which due to her natural lack of emotions was very difficult. She had left Naruto's home in a huff because of this and still her peerage members could tell that she was still greatly irritated.

"Nothing Kiba, just go get Issei-san so we can tell him of his new responsibilities please?" Rias said as she regained her composure."

"Of course Buchou."

A few minutes later we find one Issei Hyoudou freaking out at the idea of having died and been reborn as a devil. Before he could make even more of a fool of himself everyone heard a masculine voice come from the window, "Jeez kid calm down, is it really that big of a deal that you're a devil now?"

Both Kiba and Koneko prepared themselves to combat the red haired teen only to hear their King say, "Naruto-kun? What are you doing here?"

Many members of the room were shocked at the familiarity with which Rias spoke to her fellow red-head. Many knew that she was not one for getting too close to too many people so to hear her use such a familiar suffix deeply confused everyone as to who this teen could be to earn such a privilege.

"The kid over there intrigues me and I have a feeling things are going to get really interesting for you guys so I might as well stick around and see if I can find any good fighters," Naruto said from his seated position on the windowsill.

"Kid!? What do you mean kid!? You don't look that much older than I am!" yelled Issei.

"Fair point but I've seen and done more than you ever will in two life times. Have you felt the blood of your enemies coat your hands? The rush of adrenaline as you fight to stay alive just a bit longer? The pain of losing one of the few people who ever gave a shit about you? The shock of someone you consider a brother stabbing his hand through your chest, because you 'got in the way'?"

The occupants of the room could only stare wide-eyed at the red head in shock. The look in his eyes and the slight change in his posture told them that everything he had said was the absolute truth. Even Rias was shocked at what he had said. He had given them the abridged version of his story and so a lot of things were left out and to find that even if he stood before them, a god-like being now, he had gone through hell to achieve said power. True power like that was never easy to attain. It always came with a price and if the look in Naruto's eyes said anything it said that he had paid that price in full and then some.

Issei could only nervously shake his head in the negative.

"Well until the day you do you will be just a kid to me," Naruto spoke.

Rias coughed and began to explain in full detail to a now cowed Issei about his new life and how devil society worked. Naruto only quirked an eyebrow here and there when he found that devil society sounded much like life back in the Elemental Nations, especially within the Daimyo's capitals. Naruto grew a little more interested when Rias told Issei that he was special because he held what was called a Sacred Gear within him that would boost his abilities significantly. To him it sounded too good to be true. The idea that such a powerful tool would have virtually no drawbacks seemed a little too off to him. He understood that they were powerful tools and that Issei's specifically wielded the power of a dragon, who even in his world were revered for their immense power, but still it was too good to be true. He would have to do some looking into the matter a little more himself. He may not be actively participating with any side but being a ninja meant that he liked to keep himself informed on both his allies and enemies' strengths and weaknesses.

"For now the only thing you can do to raise your status in the devil world is to pass out these fliers and help the people who call on your services. Kiba can help show you the ropes so to speak," Rias said, dismissing her knight and new pawn.

"Kids got potential but he's got a long ways to go before he can attain it," Naruto said while gazing out at Kuoh Academy in slight interest.

"May I get you some tea Naruto-san?" spoke the busty bruenette.

"That would be lovely thank you," Naruto said taking in her appearance. He may not be a super pervert like his godfather but that didn't mean he didn't appreciate the female form and the brunette in front of him was a prime example of the female form, being almost as attractive as Rias was. Rias still had the upper hand in his opinion mostly due to her crimson locks.

Rias soon took a position standing in the window where Naruto himself was seated, joining him in his gaze. She of course was also undressing him with her eyes and boy did she like what she saw. He may not be able to join her peerage but he still may yet be able to solver her little problem. It also helped that Naruto seemed to be a rather laid back guy, with bouts of odd happiness as witnessed this morning when he had ramen for breakfast. It could also be said that he cared deeply for those he called his "precious people" and would happily storm the gates of hell to help one. All in all Rias would not mind at all marrying the man, knowing full well she and any children they had were safe with him around and would be loved.

Before she could enact her "seduce the sage" plan Akeno appeared near the two announcing that the tea was done. Rias only gave the girl an irritated gaze at interrupting her to which Akeno could only sweatdrop at, wondering what she had done to irritate her King.

The two red heads took a seat on opposite sides of the table that held a chess board. Naruto took a sip of the tea and smiled as he quite enjoyed the tea. Turning to Akeno he offered her that same smile, causing the busty girl to blush quite heavily.

"This is some really good tea…uh…" Naruto said sweatdropping as he realized he had never gotten the girl's name.

"Ah sorry for not introducing myself! I am Akeno Himejima, and I am Buchou's Queen," Akeno said bowing to Naruto at the end.

Naruto just smiled at her again and said, "And my name is Naruto Uzumaki, good to meet you Akeno-chan and thank you for the great tea."

He may not have been too well mannered growing up but both Jiraiya and Tsunade had beaten it into him, in Tsunade's case literally, that he had to at least know how to conduct himself.

The whole time the two were talking Rias could only fume as her Queen took away the attention of her fellow redhead, further interrupting her plan. Before Akeno could continue to do so Rias interrupted, "Sorry that I didn't introduce you to my peerage. You've met Kiba my Knight, Iseei my new Pawn, and now you've met Akeno my Queen. The white haired girl you saw briefly was my Rook, Koneko."

"You called Rias-senpai?" the now present Koneko said.

"Hello my name is Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto said with his smile and try as she might Koneko could not fight down the blush that the handsome man brought on.

What is it with this place and emotionless loli's. Is that their export or something? Naruto thought with a sweatdrop.

"So how do you know Buchou Naruto-san?" A curious Akeno asked. She had known Rias for years and she had never once seen someone like Naruto around her and she was sure she would remember such an attractive male.

Naruto sighed as he recounted to them the basic gist of who he was and what he had done, including his bout with Great Red and his new roommate Ophis. Akeno and even the usually stoic Koneko grew wide eyed and their jaws hit the floor. In front of the sat arguably the most powerful being in all existence…and he was calmly sipping tea.

"So Issei and Kiba are the only human ones among your peerage?" Naruto spoke as he sipped his tea, causing even Rias to look up at him in shock. "Though Kiba does feel a little different than most humans like he was experimented on. Akeno feels the same way though it seems to come from her birth rather than an outside source and Koneko feels like a nekomata to me."

The girls knew he was powerful but he didn't tell them what abilities he specifically held so for him to be able to tell such things within the span of only an hour or so was amazing. Akeno, Kiba, and Koneko's species and such were kept under wraps and not many knew about them outside of the peerage.

Seeing their shocked looks Naruto decided to elaborate, "Being able to sense who and what was around you was an invaluable skill in my old profession and thanks to my own heritage I am slightly better at it than most. Not as great as some of my other family members but still decent enough to pick up on such things."

"You were close with nekomata but Koneko is actually a much rarer and stronger breed called nekoshou. But how did you even guess that?" Rias said in seriousness.

"I'm a friend of one of, if not the, most powerful nekomata, Nibi no Bakaneko (Monster Cat of the Two Tails). And Koneko had a similar feel, though does her being a nekoshou have to do with her being able to use senjutsu?" Naruto said still enjoying the tea. He had found that the bijuu had actually dimension travelled when they were younger so they could better learn to control the powers his ancestor had gifted them with. This meant that the bijuu were known throughout most planes of existence in some form or another.

Koneko was shocked as among the nekomata race legends of the powerful Two Tailed cat were talked of in fear and awe. Not only that but Naruto had been able to detect her natural inclination to senjutsu which most high class devils couldn't detect. The fact that he was even aware of senjutsu astonished her.

"How do you know of senjutsu," Koneko asked, speaking for herself.

Naruto smirked as he put his tea down on the table and his head down, causing his bangs to shadow his eyes. Yet even still they could see Naruto's foxy smirk on his face. That's when they felt it, a pool of power building and it felt…calming and warm. The source of the energy was none other than Naruto and Koneko knew instantly that it was what her race was known for, senjutsu.

"Simple my dear little kitty," and with that Naruto lifted his head to show them his now slitted crimson eyes and whisker marks. As he opened his mouth to talk they could clearly see that his teeth had now sharpened into fangs, "I'm a perfect sage."

Miles away atop a rather tall building a black haired busty woman with cat ears and a cat tail to match awoke and narrowed her amber eyes as she felt a pulse of energy that was similar to her own.

"Senjutsu? But who else could use so much of it…nya?"

AN: Voila! The chapter is done! Not much action or fluff or sexy time but Naruto had to meet Rias' peerage somehow so yea. Fret not Naruto will also acquaint himself with the other two factions as well sometime soon so the other girls of the harem will be coming in as well some humor and other such things.

Realized halfway through typing it how serious it actually was so I think I may just scrap the "just for shits and giggles" idea and make this a more serious story. This does not mean that Naruto won't be punting people like Riser for fun, have sexy time, and other such things. All of the shits and giggles aspects will still be a heavy part of the story, just more serious parts along with a more solid plot line of my own deviation will be implemented along with all that.

As usual review, favorite, follow and all that good stuff.

I go back to college tomorrow but I have pretty huge gaps in between classes and such so updates may become even more frequent due to boredom so look forward to that!

Debating on giving Asia to Naruto or at least giving Issei her. Also thoughts on Xenovia and Irina. Yay or Nay? I realized that Naruto has a lot of Devil girls and only Gabriel for the "light" side so I'm looking to balance it out a bit more.

Thanks for reading!

Until next chapter!

PEACE out