Notes: Thank you everyone for your kind words! I am so glad that you guys seem to be enjoying my story, and I am going to try and keep the chapters coming quickly! It's really awesome for me to hear from people who are passionate about the pairing like I am, and want to see more! And for everyone who has put my story on their favorites or alerts, thank you, and I hope you're enjoying my story as well!
Yay, Kurt's audition is up, and after that, Breadstix! I wish I could go to Breadstix...
In this chapter, Kurt starts to realize that everything is moving so fast and everything is so different with Puck that he needs to figure out what is going on with our favorite bad boy. We also get to see more of Puck's gentlemanly side. Gosh, that side of him just makes my heart melt. Whenever he was really kind to Quinn in season one, especially when he said that he was really in love with her after the baby was born...I was a puddle of goo!
But Puck/Kurt is way hotter than Puck/Quinn!
Chapter Four—Mixed Feelings
Kurt Hummel was experiencing emotional warfare. For starters, being the new kid at school, even if said school had a no-harassment policy was never easy. Much to his surprise, he wasn't making friends very quickly, if at all. All he really had was Blaine, and things between them had been strained ever since that episode with Puck.
Puck. Everything was all over the place with him. As much as he wanted to, Kurt just could not shake their past easily. Puck had bullied him, and while it wasn't nearly as bad as the things Karofsky did to him, it didn't eliminate Puck's actions. Never before had Puck gone out of his way to be nice to him before—nice to anyone, really, besides maybe Quinn after he knocked her up—and then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, he was? And it wasn't just being nice to Kurt; he was flirting with him, teasing him, practically acting like he wanted to be a couple with him.
That wasn't Puck. None of that was. It had to be some kind of plot.
And yet, Kurt honestly felt something, and he was damn sure that Puck did, too. The emotions they shared seemed genuine—real, and Kurt liked whenever he was around Puck; looked forward to it. Whenever Puck came around, it was the highlight of Kurt's day. For a couple of hours, he didn't feel like some outcast that no one knew; he felt close to him, something he thought would have been impossible given the circumstances.
Kurt wasn't sure what to think, how to feel, or what the hell was even going on. Everything was happening so fast, no matter how desperately he wanted things to just slow down so he could catch his breath. They had only been talking for a week, and Puck came over nearly every day. Kurt thought maybe it would be best for them to regain some concept of distance between them, but what was best for him was not what he wanted.
Never before had some guy pined over him like this, and Kurt loved every minute of it. It felt good to be pursued.
He just wished that Puck pursued him because he actually had feelings for him, and not some other reason.
He had to get down to the bottom of this; he had to know how Puck truly felt and why, out of the blue, he wanted to spend time with Kurt. And since there was no time like the present, Kurt decided he was going to ask Puck about it all today, only not now. No, he'd wait until after his audition—maybe when they were driving to Breadstix or something—Kurt had to focus on singing now, and only that.
It was like Puck knew that Kurt was thinking about him, because as soon as he picked up his pen to jot down some notes from the overhead protector his teacher was lecturing behind, Kurt's phone buzzed dully in his pocket.
Fuck, he forgot to put it on silent. Kurt dipped his head down, pretending like he didn't hear anything as he looked around the room through his bangs, just to see if anyone was giving him nasty looks. Once he was sure that every student was looking at the teacher (albeit with glazed-over eyes), Kurt slowly reached his hand into his pocket and extracted his phone.
"How's it going, sweet thing?"
Kurt grimaced. If this was all some act, he really didn't know how well he was going to take it. If Puck was just leading him on only to break his heart, he was sure as hell never going back to McKinley. It would hurt too much. Kurt stared at the message from him for a long time, unsure of what to say and how to feel. Sweet thing? He wanted to be happy about being called that, but he wasn't.
"Just in class," Kurt finally texted back, leaving it at that. Oh, how he wanted to just ask Puck to be frank with him; to lay it all down for him before he got too attached. It had to be some kind of plot; guys like Noah Puckerman did not go for guys like him—did not go for guys at all.
"Are you nervous?" Puck asked.
Anxious was a better word for how he was feeling. "Yes, I am," Kurt responded, but it wasn't so much about his audition. Yeah, he never sang in front of the Warblers before, but he knew that he was talented. It was Puck who he was nervous about; Kurt was already setting himself up to be heartbroken. It was going to happen, there was no way around it.
"Want me to come over earlier? I can leave as soon as my geometry class lets out," Puck texted back quickly.
Truth be told, Kurt did want Puck to come over sooner. Whether or not Puck's feelings were real, he just had an effect on Kurt. Whenever Puck was around, he felt safe—happy—like everything could go wrong, and still, it wouldn't be all that bad because they'd be together. But they needed some space, and Puck really shouldn't miss more classes for him. "No, that's okay. I mean, I want you to, but you shouldn't. Your classes are important."
"Not really; at least, not as important as you."
Kurt felt like he could melt into the floor from that text message. Puck knew just what to say, and Kurt would be damned if he actually did something as risky as falling in love with him. "If we keep doing this, you're going to fail because of me, and I don't want that to happen."
It took Puck a while to text him back. "Why don't you want to see me?"
Oh for fuck's sake, why was this all happening now? Why was it so complicated? Kurt worried his lower lip between his teeth as he thought of what to say, and how to say it. His thumbs slowly moved over the keyboard of his iPhone as he typed out a text message, reading: "I do want to see you, but I don't want you having to make all these sacrifices just to be with me when I can't make any in return." He thought for a moment, and then reluctantly added, "Besides, I've been talking to my dad and step-mom about possibly coming home on the weekends." Kurt didn't want to admit that tidbit to Puck just yet; he wanted to know how Puck truly felt about him first, but before he could take back what he typed, the message was already being sent.
"Whoa, seriously? You think they'd go for it? Because that'd be pretty freaking awesome," Puck wrote back.
A small smile was on Kurt's lips as he looked down at his phone. "Nothing's set in stone yet, and it may only be every other weekend sometimes, but it should all work out."
One hour away from Westerville in a geometry classroom at McKinley, Puck was almost shaking in his desk from excitement. This was great news. He thought of all of the things they could do if Kurt was in Lima on the weekends: going to the movies, watching Kurt try on stylish outfits at the mall, and maybe spend some nights together where they hopefully did more than just talk, and no, he didn't mean rubbing moisturizer into each other's pores.
"I still get to come over during the weekdays when I can make it, though, right?"
Kurt felt warmth travel through his body, straight to his heart, and pink patches rose to the surface of his cheeks. Dammit, he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help having feelings for Puck. "You better, I didn't reserve days on my calendar for you for nothing."
"Well, if you're in Lima this weekend, make sure Saturday night is free," Puck texted.
"How come?" Kurt responded.
Less than a minute later, his phone lit up. "Because I made plans for us, and don't ask what they are; it's a surprise."
Kurt did not like surprises, but this one…he couldn't help feeling excited.
##
Puck was really pleased with himself when he did not get lost on the way to the small common room. Kurt was already waiting for him, sitting on the edge of a leather chair, his legs jittering as he stared into the fireplace. Puck pushed his way past a couple of stray students on his way over to Kurt, tapped him on the shoulder, and felt bad when Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin. "Oh, sorry for scaring you," Puck said, biting his lip as he held his hands out and shook his body a bit. "But I'm here," he said happily.
Kurt looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Thanks for coming," he said in a small voice before he stared back toward the fireplace.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Puck asked, furrowing his brows as he sat down in the chair across from Kurt. "Did something happen? Did that Blaine kid try and come onto you?" Puck's eyes took in Kurt's blank expression; his brows furrowed and his hands balled into fists. "Where is he? I'll kick his ass."
"Blaine didn't do anything," Kurt said, shaking his head. He couldn't be honest with Puck yet; he didn't want to open that can of worms right before his audition. So, he told a little white lie, "I guess I'm just nervous."
Puck pushed himself up from the chair and knelt beside where Kurt was sitting, looking up into his eyes. "You have nothing to worry about," he said, placing a tentative hand on Kurt's fidgety thigh, and it stilled beneath his touch. "I mean, I get being nervous, and me telling you that you shouldn't be probably won't help at all, but you're going to kick ass. That song; you sing it so well, and those Warbler punks are going to wonder how they've been getting on without you."
The corners of Kurt's lips pulled up into a smile as he flushed from Puck's kind words. Gosh, he really hoped that this wasn't all some act; he liked Puck, as strange as that was to admit to himself. "You really think so?"
"I know so," Puck said matter-of-factly, placing his hand over Kurt's in his lap.
Kurt stared down at Puck's hand on his. They looked nice together; where his hand was pale and slender, Puck was tanned and toned. "You know," Kurt started, his voice a soft whisper, "It took everything I had to tell you not to come over sooner, especially once you offered."
Puck grinned up at Kurt, who was still looking at their hands and not at him. "You should have just let me. I could have always made up any work I missed." He properly took Kurt's hand in his before he stood up, pulling Kurt with him. "We better get going if you don't want to be late for your audition."
Honestly, he didn't even feel like going anymore now that Puck was there; the only thing that Kurt wanted to do was spend more time with him and him alone. But that wouldn't be too smart of him. Keeping Puck's hand in his, Kurt led him out of the common room and down the hall.
The music room, where the auditions were being held, was completely packed. Most of the people were dressed in Dalton uniforms, however some, like Puck, had on normal clothes—outsiders to the school who came to enjoy the auditions, possibly cheer on a friend or a family member. Puck stayed close to Kurt and gave his hand a soft squeeze, reassuring him that he was there for Kurt and that everything was going to be totally awesome.
Kurt looked up at the queue of nervous-looking Dalton students and frowned. "I have to be up there with the rest of the other perspectives until it's my turn," he said sadly. He didn't want to be apart from Puck from fear that he'd lose all his confidence as soon as he was no longer by his side.
Puck pulled him into a quick hug; one hand resting at the small of Kurt's back while the other on the nape of his neck. "Break a leg; you're going to be amazing," Puck whispered, his lips brushing across Kurt's cheek as he spoke.
When they pulled away, Kurt was sure that his face was as red as a tomato.
They were set up to sing alphabetically, and Kurt was pretty much in the middle of the list. If he had it his way, then he'd go first, or close to first. Whenever he was nervous, he'd rather get whatever he was dreading out of the way instead of sitting around with nothing to do but wait. The first student's performance was actually rather good, whereas the next three that went after him were all either sharp, flat, or both. Jeff Harrison, the student that was scheduled to sing right before him was absolutely amazing—performing a Maroon 5 song that had the entire room except for Puck singing along.
"Kurt Hummel," David called out, looking up from his clipboard with a plastered smile on his face.
He held his breath as he walked to the center of the room, glanced at Puck, smiled, and then sang the first note.
##
Puck was the first one to stand up for Kurt, clapping enthusiastically as he glared at everyone else to follow suit. Kurt looked so happy; his smile wide and his eyes sparkling when he saw that his performance was well-received, and Puck had never been more attracted to him than he was now.
Kurt pushed his way passed the sea of people who high-fived him and clapped him on his back till he finally was standing in front of Puck, and it took all of one second for Kurt to throw his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "That went really well!"
"See, I told you that you had nothing to worry about," Puck told him, smiling into the juncture where Kurt's neck and shoulder met. "When are they going to tell you that you made it in?"
"After the rest of the students are done auditioning, they will deliberate for a few minutes," Kurt told him breathlessly as he took Puck's hand and pulled him down to sit on the couch with him. "When they're done, they'll let us know who they're letting in."
Puck scooted a little closer to Kurt, then slowly and very, very slyly put his arm around Kurt. The intimate touch brought Kurt back down to earth, and he remembered all of his concerns from before. God, his feelings better be true. Puck felt Kurt tense up some, but he did not pull away. "You were so good, you know that? If you came back to glee club, we could totally take Regionals with that performance."
"What?" Kurt asked, his eyes wide and his expression blank. Was that was this was all about; getting Kurt to come back to McKinley? No, it couldn't be. Puck never seemed to like glee club that much. It had to be something else. "What did you just say?"
"I-I mean if you came back to McKinley," Puck said, stumbling over his words. "You know, not that you should. I mean, you should, we'd all love you back, but only if that's what you want." He quickly shut up, sure that the more that he spoke, the deeper the grave he was digging for himself would become.
It couldn't be, but if it wasn't, then what was it?
Their trip to Breadstix could not come sooner.
The next couple of performers were all so-so with the exception of one student who sang Katy Perry's "Firework," and while he sang it well, Puck still had to try hard not to barf.
Once the three upperclassmen leads left the room to deliberate, Puck took the opportunity in front of him to try and be heartfelt and stuff. He ran his hand gently through Kurt's soft hair and nudged him playfully until he turned to look at him. "What I said before didn't come out the way I wanted it to," he said. "It's totally cool you go here. I mean, the punks that go here are kind of full of themselves, but…if this place makes you happy, then…you should stay."
Puck knew he shouldn't have said that. Regardless of his feelings, he still made Mr. Schuester a promise, and he really wasn't trying hard at all to get Kurt to come back. But, maybe he never really intended on doing that? Maybe it was never about getting Kurt back into glee, but about finally coming to terms with his feelings for Kurt instead of trying to run away from them? At least, that was all that Puck truly cared about anymore.
Kurt started at him long and hard, the rims of his eyes slightly reddened and his eyes a little watery. And just as he was about to say something, to have the conversation that he had been dreading here and now, Blaine, Wes, and David emerged from the room they had deliberated inside, David clutching the clipboard to his chest. "Alright guys," he announced in a loud voice that promptly silenced all of the conversations around the room. "Jeff Harrison, Gideon Connors, and Kurt Hummel," David said, then paused, and Kurt held his breath. "Welcome to the Warblers! We're really glad to have all three of you join our team. As for the others, thank you for auditioning and we invite you back for our next round of auditions."
"Told you; there was no way in hell you weren't getting in," Puck said matter-of-factly over the loud clapping and cheers, smiling wide when he saw how positively elated Kurt was at the news.
After a couple more minutes of one-armed hugs and high-fives from Kurt's now fellow Warblers, he and Puck finally made it out of the school. The crisp January air hit Puck hard, and in the hopes of getting warmer, he stood as close to Kurt as he could without literally being on top of him. And he was done with making excuses as to why he couldn't do the things that he wanted to, so he grabbed Kurt's hand in his and held it, not caring who saw them. Let them watch; let them be jealous because of the delicious arm candy he was sporting. "You know, Brittany did get one thing right; your hands are really soft."
Kurt laughed nervously. Holding hands with Puck shouldn't feel this good. "Skincare is really important to me," he admitted, enjoying how the pad of Puck's thumb lightly ran back and forth along the back of his hand. The touch was so easy, so simple, and yet Kurt could not remember anything feeling better than this.
God, he was really in deep shit for developing feelings for Puck.
"Oh, me too," Puck said, nodding confidently. "I always wear sunscreen during the summertime. Well…I always wear it on the really hot days."
Kurt chuckled, shaking his head. "You know, you really should wear sunscreen year round."
"Oh," Puck said flatly before he held the door to the passenger's side of his car open for Kurt.
The whole drive to Breadstix, Kurt really wanted to bring up some of his concerns to Puck, but every time he took a deep breath to begin speaking, Puck would sing along to a song he liked on the radio, and Kurt was memorized. Puck had such a smooth, sexy voice that had a deep rocker edge.
Puck liked to close his eyes whenever he belted out a long note; his brows furrowing and a vein on his neck poking out some, and Kurt had a strange yet intense desire to lick it. Puck drove with one hand while the other rested on his lap casually.
Kurt decided that he liked driving places with Puck.
##
When Kurt slid into the side of the booth opposite him, Puck frowned. "Why are you sitting over there?" Puck asked. "I made room from you over here." He patted the spot next to him and looked at Kurt expectantly.
Oh lord, Puck was asking for trouble. If they sat together and someone that knew them saw, the rumors would travel like a forest fire. Kurt worried his lower lip between his teeth as he dipped his head down, staring at his lap. "A lot of people from McKinley come here," he explained in a soft whisper.
Clearly Puck was not following; his eyebrows were raised high and his expression completely blank.
"If people see us together," Kurt continued, looking up at Puck through his dark lashes. "They're going to talk. They'll think you're gay."
Puck still looked confused for a moment, but then he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "You think I care? Let people talk. It doesn't matter to me."
Okay, Puck really didn't know what he was signing up for; that was if he actually did want to be with Kurt. Getting thrown into a dumpster or a slushie in your face, while humiliating, was nothing compared to living in constant fear at school because of all of the sexual harassment and death threats. Puck couldn't deal with that; either he would just duck out in order to save his reputation, or he wouldn't and land himself in juvie again. This just could not work; it was not in the cards for them. Kurt narrowed his eyes and looked at Puck long and hard, as if he was seeing him for the very first time, and he leaned in across the table, whispering, "What is this all about? And please, be honest with me."
"Huh?" Puck asked, sounding positively bemused. "What is what all about?"
"I thought you liked girls," Kurt said, trying to keep his emotions at bay.
"Yeah, and?" Puck asked.
"And I'm a guy," Kurt answered.
Puck blinked at Kurt stupidly as he tried to connect the dots, tried to figure out why Kurt was asking him these kinds of questions. He rubbed his forehead nervously. "I thought we already went over this," Puck said, getting up from the booth. For one awful moment, Kurt thought that he was going to leave, but instead, Puck sat down right beside him and grabbed hold of Kurt's hand from beneath the table, giving it a small squeeze. "I know you're a guy; I'm not that dumb. But you being a guy hasn't stopped me yet." Puck massaged his temple, thought of the right words to say without sounding like a complete and utter pussy. Yeah, he might totally dig Kurt, but he was still a manly man. "You being a guy hasn't affected any of the…crazy feelings I've been having lately, either. I mean, I was the one that asked you out in the first place," Puck reminded him. "I don't care what anyone has to say about us, and that includes the punks at McKinley."
He held Kurt's hand a little tighter in his, trying to put everything that he felt into the touch. "I just want—need—you to know that this isn't about anything; never was, never is gonna be. I'm not the guy everyone thinks I am. I know I can be a punk sometimes, but I've got other parts to me, too. Parts I don't show just anyone. I just want to spend some time with you, get to know you, and have you get to know me…the real me." He nudged Kurt playfully, and Kurt looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and a weak smile. "I mean, haven't you totally enjoyed hanging out with me?"
Kurt laughed and didn't even care how narcissistic Puck sounded. "I have." He really did hope that Puck was being honest with him; Kurt didn't know how well he could have survived a stab to his heart like that if this was all just one big act. "You've really been great to me."
"Well, you deserve it," Puck said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "So, have you decided what you're getting?"
##
It was definitely time for him to turn up the romance. "Want to try some of my fettuccini?" Puck asked, smiling seductively.
Kurt's eyebrows perked up in surprise. "Sure," he said, grabbing his fork, but Puck swatted his hand away playfully.
"No, allow me," he insisted, totally turning on his suaveness. Puck twirled some of his fettuccini nicely around his fork so that it wasn't hanging all over the place—Kurt wouldn't have appreciated that; if it got all over him, he would have freaked out. Once he got the slippery pasta around the fork after a couple of failed attempts, he held his fork out in front of Kurt's mouth and smiled. "Open up."
Kurt turned a bright red, his eyes wide as he shot a glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking at them before he slowly parted his lips.
Puck eased his fork into Kurt's mouth and watched as his lips closed around the creamy pasta, and immediately, really dirty thoughts flooded his mind as his pants started to grow tight. Pull it together, Puck told himself as he steadily pulled his fork out of Kurt's mouth and grinned slyly. "Good, right?"
Kurt nodded, his mind hazy.
"Oh, you got a little bit of fettuccini sauce on your lip," Puck said, and before Kurt could grab his napkin from his lap, Puck used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the sauce, brought it up to his mouth, and licked it off. "How's your food?"
"Wha—oh, um it's good," Kurt said breathlessly, his pale cheeks flushing violently, feeling like he had just died and gone to heaven.
"Well, well, well…what do we have here?" a voice called from beside them. Standing right by their booth was Karofsky and Azimio. "You got yourself a boyfriend now, Kurt?" Karofsky asked.
"I didn't know you were a homo, too, Puckerman," Azimio said.
"And to think," Karofsky continued. "All this time we changed in front of him in the locker room. I bet he jerks off over us."
Where the hell did these two come from? Puck thought that Karofsky only dined at McDonald's and that Azimio was too cheap for a joint like Breadstix. "I think you two better leave," Puck told them flatly. Yeah, they better leave before Puck decided to knock them both out.
"What, so you two can have a make out session?" Karofsky asked as he high-fived Azimio.
"Don't push me, Karofsky," Puck said dangerously.
"Or what?" Azimio asked, cracking his knuckles.
Just as Puck was about to step out from the booth, Kurt grabbed his jacket and yanked him back down. "If you hit them, you'll land yourself in juvie again. They're not worth it," he whispered.
Puck thought that they certainly were worth it; maybe if he got a couple good poundings on them then they'd back off once and for all, but at the mention of juvie, he came to his senses.
"That's what we thought," Karofsky said, grinning.
Puck looked directly at Karofsky and Azimio, his voice low and dangerous as he said, "Look, you mess with my boy Kurt or I anymore, and I will get people who actually can beat up your asses to do it for me, and that's a fucking promise."
"Your boy?" Azimio asked. "You mean your boyfriend?"
"They really are gay together!" Karofsky exclaimed.
"So what if we were?" Kurt asked, almost yelling from how furious he was. Kurt was sick and tired being treated this way just because of who he was. "That doesn't mean that we don't have the right to be happy, to enjoy ourselves without having to worry about being tormented by you two."
Kurt's words went in one ear and out the other when it came to Karofsky and Azimio. "So, you really are his boyfriend?" Karofsky asked, his face scrunched up.
Puck had enough; he was going to punch both of them into next week. He didn't care if that meant he had to go to juvie, he was not putting up with this bullshit. But just as he bolted up, their waiter and the restaurant's manager rushed over, pushing Karofsky and Azimio away from their booth. "You're done here," the manager said, "Leave now or I will call the police. You are both banned from this restaurant."
"That's fine," Azimio said, almost in tears from laughter before he looked directly at Puck. "See you at school, homo."
For a while, neither of them said anything to each other. Puck was tense beside him, nearly shaking from anger, and Kurt didn't know what to do with himself other than try to calm his uneven breathing. It was only a matter of time before Karofsky and Azimio came around, trying to mess everything up that they slowly started to construct; Kurt just did not think that it'd be this soon. He inhaled deeply and said, "I'm sorry."
"Do you mind if we leave?" Puck asked, staring at his half-eaten food.
Oh God, Puck sounded pissed. "No, I don't," Kurt said, shaking his head, sounding a bit worried.
Puck flagged down the waiter, asked for some to-go boxes, paid for the meal, and left a really generous tip.
Notes: Sorry to end it there, but if I didn't, then this chapter was going to be about a billion words long (okay maybe 7,000-8,000 but whatever!). Let me know what you think! I'll update asap!