Then, she was kissing me - just like our first kiss. It was like she wasn't in control. My body reacted ahead of me; impressive with a brain as fast as mine, but Bella could do that.
"No, Bella." Didn't she remember the bruises? Even if she denied the pain, she couldn't deny the evidence. I would hurt her if we did this.
She went limp. This wasn't what I was expecting. Usually she responded with more reason, more urgency. I wondered what she was thinking, those chocolate eyes held such mystery. And then they welled with tears again.
"I'm s-s-s-orry," she choked in a sob. It was too much. I was causing her pain by not causing her pain. I couldn't take it. I held her to me, her cheek warm on my chest. Did she understand what she was doing to me? How much this tore me up? How badly I wanted her?
"I can't, Bella, I can't!" I pleaded with her. I can't hurt you.
But she couldn't either. "Please?" The words was hushed but I could hear it clearly. "Please, Edward?" How could I deny her? It was so obvious what she wanted, what she needed. Equally obvious she would accept the cost. Would I? Could I? Could I do better this time? I could try. I kissed her deeply and groaned in defeat, and in victory. There was no denying this was what I wanted too.
She rolled more completely astride me, pressing her body to mine. She felt so perfect there. I ran a hand down her back and returned to rest it on her neck and shoulder. Only rest. I wouldn't grip her again if I could help it. We continued to kiss and suddenly I felt her hand on me, pulling me from my shorts. My kiss grew more urgent. Her touch sent fiery heat through me. I kept my hand still on her shoulder, stroking her arm and neck. With the other I reached behind me, looking for something I could hold on to. My arm twisted oddly; I could fold my fingers over the top of the headboard. Perfect. The angle was bad enough that I wouldn't squeeze unless I had to. I knew I'd have to. She was pulling all stops again. She was pressing her wetness to me now. I felt every gap in the black lace. I thought it would rub me raw, but instead it just made me want more. So close to her, but not in her. It was a painful line. Rumbling in my throat, I clenched my teeth and tightened my grip. I would go insane.
For the first time her lips left mine, kissing instead just under my jaw. Then her hot, wet tongue traced my jugular. I thought I would scream, I thought I would howl. I arched pressing myself harder against her. Now she was moving on me again, the lace catching and sliding. I couldn't stand it, I needed to feel her. Without really deciding to, I pulled the panties off in one rip. I was horrified for a split second; that might have hurt. Gravity pulled her onto me and I moaned, "You are so warm." It was heaven. My shorts were still in the way. There was enough room between her and I that I was able to remove these in the same quick way.
Then she sat back. She was tight as I pushed deeper, the fire spreading farther. I could see all of her; I could feel all of her. She was a beautiful sight. Her nipples pointed to me, her body called to me, and her blood sang. She was mine. And I was hers.
"Too much?" she asked. I must have been staring too intently. I couldn't blink. I couldn't miss a moment of her in all her glory. I didn't trust my voice to respond, so I shook my head and pinched the headboard tighter in my hand, trying to prepare for what I would do next. I lifted my hips, very gently, taking the weight off her knees. I didn't think it was possible, but I was even more deeply buried in her.
Then she wobbled. She put her hands on my stomach and I put one to her hip to help correct her balance. She was my Bella, even in thrall she would stumble if she could. I laughed in spite of myself.
I groaned feeling myself twitch in her. The movement was so small but so intense. It was up and down at the same time, left and right. I wasn't sure which was up and which was down anymore at all. She groaned too and I wondered what that had felt like for her. It must have been good because I felt a familiar massaging along my length. Her pleasure was rising. She met my eyes once more and I knew I could handle what came next. I could keep my hands gentle, I could give her pleasure. She pushed off from me and I felt her slide up. The trail of fire receded ever so slightly, but the parts still buried burned brighter. The smooth sliding was incredible.
I saw her tip her head and roll her eyes in ecstasy. She looked like a goddess. I was her throne. I was a happy throne. "You look unbelievable, Bella." My voice sounded harsh to my ears. It was odd, I hadn't sounded like that since I was human. She continued to lift herself; I was afraid she was going to dismount. I couldn't very well mount her myself, but I'd have to seriously consider it if she did. Then her rise stopped, leaving me at her entrance. I felt cold, even in the sweltering air. She held there as she inhaled, then thrust down. I could count every fraction of that second as she descended. Again my back arched and I was pressed more deeply into her. A groan tore my throat and my fingernails pierced the headboard. I clung to it. I flexed my other hand to keep it flat to her skin. She rose again, though not so far, two inches of me were still held tightly inside her, but she fell more slowly this time, I could feel myself slipping through her. I moaned in pleasure and my fingers slid a little through the wood under their tips. The massaging intensified and made me want to buck. Her hips were circling now and I thrust out my chin to tip my head back again. But I quickly pulled it back, not wanting to miss her in her glory. She swayed a little as she leaned onto me. I felt flames where her nipples touched me, just her nipples, how was she holding herself like that? Then the lace caught again. Again, without really thinking, I pulled the garment from her body. I really hoped these things weren't built to stay together. Alice knew better that to choose something that did, right? But now it wasn't just her nipples, her breasts were crushing into me. The heat from her. The scent. I tightened my grip again and I heard wood snap. I tried to loosen a little.
Then she was grinding again. I felt her breasts drag, her stomach, her hips, all moving slightly down and then up. Her slickness was sliding over me too. I was going to lose it. Her lips were pressed to mine and I rested my free hand on the small of her back, the beautiful valley there. I tried to keep it flat, all my grasping going into the other hand. There was more snapping and I felt my fingers closing. I kept my teeth locked together, afraid of nicking her while she kissed me so deeply. Then that hot tongue was on my lips, my hand came away behind me, tearing away the piece of wood. My hips rose and fell and rose and fell, I hoped it wasn't too hard, but I couldn't see how to stop. Her lips left mine as her body tensed. I knew what was coming.
"Yes, Edward. Yes! I want to feel you!" she screamed. The pulsing inside her was frenzied and I couldn't deny her in any case. I dropped the dust from my hand and wrapped both arms around her. I felt the white heat once more and it passed from me to her. The tension eased and she fell on me again. Her hair fell across my face and I breathed it in. "That... That... I don't have words."
She shifted enough to look into my eyes. "You don't need words," she told me and kissed me again.
How could I argue with that? I proceeded to show her. I turned her on her back and began at the top of her head, kissing between her eyes, the tip of her nose. I paused for several kisses on her lips and then the point of her chin. I followed under her jaw, to her neck. Her moans were fantastic. The hollow of her collarbone, between her breasts. Her pulse was so fast I was a little worried. When had I last heard her inhale? Her stomach, her navel. I stopped to taste her folds and was surprised when I didn't hear a reaction. I looked up to her face. She was asleep. Smiling to myself I gave the inside of each thigh one last kiss and then pulled her onto me until morning.
Her flush had faded, and even her hip showed no sign of roughness. She had given me a lot to think about. And a lot to relive. Over and over and over...